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Divorce For Abandonment

My husband is an unbeliever who abandoned us and now wants to come back. My children and I feel as if we are in bondage with him. I don't want him to come back he can be vulgar and verbally abusive when he gets upset. I want a divorce. Is this grounds to divorce?

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Sweetheart. My spouse was left alone with our 2 girls by me for 7 weeks while I resided in an abuse shelter. He did not know where I was, had no access to our documents nor my money and had to do both of our household jobs while I was gone. It was harder to go than stay for me. Now I am home. He has a better understanding of the abuse levels he was dishing out toward me prior to my leaving. The worst part for me was reaching out to my 16 yr. old who thinks she knows everything and thought we were wrong for saving our marriage over ending it. She is in a controlling relationship with a 20 yr. old. that did not help our domestic situation to start with. In your case though I think I'd get the divorce. Lawyer up now.
---Pamela on 9/13/08

Trish: I realize that this lady wasn't talking about physically abused. I was in a relationship one time that I wished the man would have hit me instead of being verbally abusive. Scares from hitting someone can heal on the outside, but when someone is verbally abusive to another person, it takes a long time for those scares to heal.
---Rebecca_D on 9/11/08

Rebecca: The OP never said her husband was PHYSICALLY abusive. He was VERBALLY abusive. There is a difference, albeit slight. Words are entirely different than hitting. For one, words are not illegal, but hitting is.
---Trish9863 on 9/11/08


Jesus didn't forbid divorce - just remarriage after divorce (in most cases).
---StrongAxe on 9/10/08

Reconciliation is always God's choice. You have no Scriptural grounds for divorce. It is you who are ordained by God to have your husband won to the Lord. Get praying and be an example of Godliness to him and your life will change.
---john on 9/10/08

YES, this is grounds for Biblical divorce however the legal action of divorce is not a magic wand. You will still have interactions with him in the future as it sounds like there are children in the mix. Take care of yourself and definitely do your best to guard the children from as much unpleasentness as this process can produce. You can terminate your legal obligations to him, however the emotional entanglement with him will most likely continue for some time. Get yourself a good Christian Lawyer and a good support network.
---TIMOTHY on 9/10/08

I wouldn't have waited for him to leave, I would have kicked his butt out the door a long time ago. Anyone who is verbally, physically mean to me and especially my kids, is out of my life. Before I got married, I told my husband (boyfriend at the time) that if he hit me or my child just once, I wouldn't give him a second chance to do it again. There is a saying that goes like this, "Burn me once shame on you, burn me twice shame on me". If you don't want him in your life then don't let him back in. The only way you should consider it is if he gets saved and converts over to Christ and you can see a big change in him. Even God doesn't want us to be doormats.
---Rebecca_D on 9/10/08

I've noticed that most Bible-believing Christians believe in divorce for only two reasons:

1. Adultery.
2. Their own personal case.
---katavasia on 9/9/08

Abandonement is grounds for divorce.1 Corinthians 7:12-16 gives the guidelines for your situation.I hope this helpsGod bless you.
---Jeff on 9/9/08

If you are a Christians it would be usual to say that a non-believing spouse should be allowed to stay if that is what the person wants. However, in your situation he has already left so I really don't see why you should have to have him back.

He cannot use you like this and keep you wondering where he wants to be. It seems as if you and the children are on the same wavelength here so why put them though this just because he keeps changing his mind.

You and yor children need some stability in your life and should not be upset by this.

However you might find yourself in a custody or parental access argument at some point so be prepared for that.
---RitaH on 9/9/08

REad 1 Corinthians 7 to find out what God's Word says in your situation. It speaks plainly about divorce and the unsaved spouse.
---Trish9863 on 9/9/08

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