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Economy Causing Family Stress

The economy and the cut back of my mall purchases is causing stress in my household. How can I get my husband to back off? He is always saying we should stop spending so much.

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 ---Susan on 10/15/08
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Both of you should come to some kind of an agreement. Panic is never good and this includes the economy. Everyone including creditores should learn to wait. Anyways, God is very big on waiting, I have learned and still learning. But how do you get unbelievers to understand God. Well, it's impossible. So what you are gonna do? Wait!
---catherine on 1/25/09

and the lord says,you cant serve 2 masters,you cant serve mammon and God,do you love the world or God?where does your treasure lie?most try one foot in heaven and one in the world. this wont work.
---tom2 on 1/24/09

While hitchhiking across America in the 1970s, I stayed with a few families living along the Mississippi River - all considered very poor by any measurement. They didn't have the modern conveniences that most families today have, but they were happy - no matter how special interest groups and the media pictures them to the contrary.

Even though my dad owned a produce company and a restaurant in Chicago, we had a nice home, food on the table, and clothes to wear until the next wash day. Overall, we were content and happy in the 1950s and 1960s.

There isn't anything wrong living a frugal life, a life in moderation, a simple lifestyle having simple pleasure.
---Steveng on 1/21/09

not knowing your personal finances, i would first ask do you really know if you can afford ,as you say your mall purchases?I have been married twice,both literally laughed at me when I suggested a budget.ultimately I have found myself broke and deeply in debt with if you think you got stress now wait until this happens.then you will see real stress.
---tom2 on 1/21/09

bill wow,wonderful post at 60 iam so glad i believe iam now a peach.
---tom2 on 1/21/09

He may have the correct movtive, but the wrong approach. Here's what you should do to reduce the stress: sit down with your husband and evaluate what spending can be reduced. Make a list of all your reguired expenses first,(electricity cost, etc.) Evaluate how these area on how they can be reduced in cost. (Turn off the lights when you leave the room, etc.)Then make of list of purchases that can be done without or reduced. For example: maybe a new pair of gloves are needed, but they don't have to be leather gloves, maybe knitted ones will do. Work on this together. Make an action plan, with a list of items you can do without or reduce, a date you can start and evaluate each month on how it's going and make ajustments if needed.
---wivv on 10/21/08

It takes time to become a good old peach. First, there's that cute little buddy, so fuzzy, then the green teen maybe having a nice shape, but not exactly mature. And even in our middle age...yes, we can be oh-h so colorful in all that peachlight coming down all around us, but even then we're going to get a little bit bitter and sour, deep-down inside. Because we need to go through some heat of the summer, before we can reach a ripe old age. But then is when we can get sweeter and sweeter, and even more and MORE juicy (o: Because we made that commitment to LEARN how to love > "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." (in Matthew 11:29)
---Bill_bila5659 on 10/18/08

SusieB is right. If you do an online Bible search for "one another" and "each other" and actively apply what is written, you won't have enough time to do worldly things. The Bible guarantees it for the havest is plenty, but the workers are few.
---Steveng on 10/17/08

Any woman who gets stressed because she cannot go to the mall has her priorities wrong. If your heart and mind are on Jesus and spreading HIS gospel, you won't have time to shop. Being materialistic can be a very unfullfilling life.
---SusieB on 10/16/08

There is such a thing as being a Shopaholic. You can be using shopping to avoid other responsibility or more likely to fulfill an emotional need you have which isn't being met in the correct way. I doubt you need all you buy. Go see a counselor and find out if you need help to understand what is your reasons that shopping is more important to you than you husbands wishes. A man who provides for his family has a right to expect his wife to cooperate in balancing the budget. I have no doubt your husband would back off if you would stop causing stress in the home with all your shopping. Yes it is you causing the stress not your husband. If he says you need to stop all the spending then have respect enough for him and stop spending too much.
---Darlene_1 on 10/15/08

Your husband may have things *he* likes to buy . . . maybe like tickets to a football or baseball game, or for fishing or something else. What does he say when it's something *he* wants? OR, is he really frugal and consistent and wise? IF he's caring and wise, you DON't want to make him back off. IF you are buying stuff you don't need, even going into debt . . . you can get with your husband, more, and enjoy each other. Don't make him back off, get WITH him and enjoy what is free, or buy something you can share together, instead of buying different things. Kids not deeply happy can go right through toys, then want more more more. Loving is better, and free.
---Bill_bila5659 on 10/15/08

Stop going to the mall, and stop spending so much.
---Trish9863 on 10/15/08

My suggestion is to sit down with your husband some evening when you don't have to work the next day and plan out a detailed budget. Itemize every fixed expense (expenses that occur every month like the mortgage) and variable expense (groceries). Then every day for the next month, monitor all, and I mean ALL your spending - even if it's just a bottle of soda or candy bar. If you don't ge a receipt, take along a small notebook and make a note of the purchase. during these thirty days, do not argue about any spending.

If you do this, you both will be amazed on what you'll find.

Then, as an experiment, the following month live like you were living during the 1930s Great Depression spending only on the bare necessities.
---Steveng on 10/15/08

Perhaps it is the economy which is making your husband aware of the need to be careful.

Perhaps the stress in your household is being caused by your excessive mall expenditure.
---alan_of_UK on 10/15/08

He is just trying to look out for his family...You said he is telling you not to spend so much? He could be telling you to stop spending altogether. sounds like he don't mind if you spend a little. I would try to slow down.
---a_good_friend on 10/15/08

You should listen to your husband and stop spending. You sound like a friend of mine who's husband is telling her the same thing.

I'm wondering why these wives aren't listenting to their husbands and want them to back off? Are you spending his money or your own?

Are you putting your money into a joint account with his and sharing the burden of expenses?

I would listen to him if I were you and it will stop the stress in the house.
---donna8365 on 10/15/08

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