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Make Boyfriend Marry Me

How can I convince my boyfriend to marry me? Well,I can say he was brain washed by some guys and friends he met. For him, if you marry it's just a trouble, and if you don't like trouble then don't get married.

Moderator - Just make sure that you are not living with him now and are not doing things reserved for married people. If he doesn't want to marry, then you have to decide whether to move on.

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 ---Airen on 12/29/08
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Marriage is no trouble if you both prepare for it wisely and base it on true love and respect and let God be there in your lives.

A priest told me how much he enjoys seeing my wife and I in such a harmony. I told him that I live on the basics of 'give and take'.

He said, "Good, my son". I continued: "I give the orders and she takes them".

PS: She wasn't there when I told him that, that's why we're still together.....
---Paul2 on 1/16/09

Methinks that both of you, original poster, and him are still very young.

If that's the case, I suggest you wait a bit longer and play it by ear but, as you've been told, if he truly loves you, he wouldn't follow his friends' advice.

Be cautious, be careful, be wise, be prudent - crawl before you run.
---Paul2 on 1/16/09

Trust me, honey, marriage is challenging enough, you don't want someone who isn't' completely invested in you--trust me on this. Will make for a miserable life if you do marry the guy. I should just sign my name as "been there, done that" lol! God bless and praying for you, Mary PS--I'm now happily divorced, and yet I am lonely for a man who doesn't want me in "that way" so I know loneliness can really bite ya in the butt lol!
---Mary on 1/15/09

If he loves u, he will not allow himself to be brainwashed by his friends. Plus you cant force a horse to drink water from the stream you can only force it to get to the stream!!!
Pray about it. Good luck
---esther on 1/12/09

He's not ready to marry. Don't pressure him to do so. There are two possible outcomes here - either he'll come around to the idea himself, or the relationship will end. Give him love, give him time and you might win him over. If the situation is intolerable for you, move on!
---Graham on 1/12/09

Amen to Laurie's post on 12/30/08

remember if you have to CONVINCE him to marry you will have to convince him to stay married ...and you will be convincing him of everything in between

if he is that easily swayed by "friends" today marriage will not magically change that

and if you believe marriage is saving him from himself and the friends who "brainwashed him" are you not doing the same by convincing him to marry you
---Rhonda on 1/2/09

my dear,if this gent has a problem becoming a husband my suggestion is move on.forcing someone only opens doors in the furture where you will get the blame for anything that in his mind goes wrong in the marriage.believe me marriage,life in general is hard enough without being the fall guy before the i dos are even said.
---tom2 on 1/2/09

I agree somewhat with moderator, Most importantly make sure you are living as unto Christ above all. If you are living together, move out, if you are being sexually intimate, stop. If you are not doing any of these things then move on with your life. For men if things are comfortable and he has no reason to commit then why should he? As long as you have stated to him your desires and he is not responding then make a change. It is really up to God to bring you together then trust Him! If your boyfriend comes to realize he really does love you and wants to be with you then he needs to show you by his actions.
---Jeff on 12/30/08

The truth is, in the long run you don't want to convince your boyfriend to marry you. Why? Because if you have to "manufacture" a proposal you are short-changing deserve one that does not need to be created. Most of all, you deserve the person that God has planned for you to marry. Anything less is not something that will make you happy. You can't go wrong if you do things God's way and you will have fewer regrets in life. I want you to be able to wake up every morning of your married life and be joyful and grateful that you waited for God's choice and timing, not wishing you weren't stuck in a marriage that was not meant to be. I know this sounds harsh, but I've been there and I don't want you to make the same mistake.
---Laurie on 12/30/08

Maturity in the word of God is what you both need to be aiming for. I am not trying to dampen your love for this individual I hope by understanding that before emotions get too much the better of you those emotions are worth nothing without understanding God his purpose for your life and then you maybe able to see without the scales of life.

Making someone see differently than the naive side of life that you are pushing is like the blind leading someone that's blind.

count it as a loss he obviously does not share your view but likes your company ditch Him! and find a life worth your efforts doing something more worth your while with your emotions his friends advice is more important.

Life is much more than one dude!
---Carla3939 on 12/30/08

"Convincing to marry" is not a word that is needed between people who trully love and respect each other. My mother said to me never to marry a man whom you love more, marry the one who loves you more.... we women were created to respond and when a man loves and respects us then we respond to this love and it would grow... I did. It took me a long time of waiting but God trully gives the desire of His children. Keep on praying. Being in a hurry to tie the knot could be your fatal mistake. Think on things and pray....
God bless you and strengthen you during this time...
---Tabitha on 12/30/08

It is painful but this is what you should do ...depending that you are ready for marriage financially , physically (you are not 16 ) and mature.
Tell him you love him - Tell him that he has known you ,you've know him, he has known you want a forever future with only him? children ? Tell him that until he makes a decision you must go on with your life and your search for a lifelong partner ..tell him you will miss him badly and will pray for him. Cut everything off unless he wants what you want. No phone calls -- nothing. If he loves you he will return to you ..then tell him you need a commitment seal - in actions not words - a ring and a date! Hang tight...he will never realize he loves you if he always has you there with his attitude.
---BethAnn on 12/30/08

Airen, It appears to be a classic example of "unrequited love"

Much is written about this (subject) in literature IE Cyrano de Bergerac

Phantom of the Opera

Hunchback of Notre Dame

The great Gatsby etc,etc.

Love has to be reciprocal to work,otherwise forget it and move on!
---1st_cliff on 12/29/08

"... if you don't like trouble then don't get married."

That's pretty hard to argue with.
---ralph7477 on 12/29/08

And if you make him feel like he's forced to marry you (or "convince", as you said), you'll both regret it.
---katavasia on 12/29/08

Part One Answer: Why would you want to marry someone that requires convincing? Part Two Answer: They didn't brain wash him, they stated their opinions and he listened and formed his own decision. Summary: I'm not trying to minimize your question because my experience was similar. I truly believe that I forced my marriage to happen with slick "convincing" and I have paid for that ever since. My loving advice is let it happen naturally or let it go. Don't spend twenty years in a bad marriage as I have. God will bring to you the correct person if you just wait him out, I wish I would have been wiser younger.
---TIMOTHY on 12/29/08

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I have some questions for you.

1. Why do you want to get married to a man who is easily swayed by his friend?
2. Why would you want to marry someone who cannot think for themselves?
3. Why is it so necessary to marry this man at this time?
---Trish9863 on 12/29/08

Are you giving him any reasons to marry you? For example: if you are living with him now, he may be getting all he wants without marriage. It may be that his friends who have "brainwashed him" is really just his excuse not to marry you. If he's enjoying all the benefits of marriage without marriage, why marry? You may want to consider just moving on and write him off. By the way, I've been married 45 years and don't see how his friends could be correct with their negative attitudes. Doesn't he have any friends who have successful marriages?
---wivv on 12/29/08

Why do you want to marry a brainwashed guy?
---kevin on 12/29/08

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