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Daughter-In-Law Is Distant

My daughter in law is a christian, and my son recently enlisted in the service, I have bent over backwards and gone out of my way to help her in anyway I can, and she seems to distance herself. She has my son's new address, and I can't get it, and she has lied to me on several occasions. What to do?

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 ---Lee on 2/16/09
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Maybe she is overwhelmed with the changes that she is going through in her life. Just try to be kind and patient. Let her know you'll be there if she needs you and pray for her. Let her know you love your son, and would like to hear from him, too.
---Betty on 5/8/09

When your deployed, you don't have the address you'll be reachable at for a while - depending on your assignment. That information eventually gets to you.

Now, the wife is withholding an address - in my eyes, this is selfish. Having watched my brother go to Iraq a couple years ago, we were on edge until we had the address come through - received by his wife.

Our guys and girls over there are quite busy. They don't have a lot of time to contact every single person individually and usually ask one person to distribute the info.

Pray for the wife and if she won't come around, contact HQ where your son was deployed from. They would be able to help you there.
---lesla3685 on 4/2/09

** You need to take the test on pride, my friend. Preaching outloud is considered a form of praising the living God. **

Let's see. You accuse me of pride, and then talk about the Holy Spirit coming upon you.

The very fact that you disagree with me proves that you are NOT led by the Holy Spirit, and God told me to tell you so.
---katavasia on 2/23/09

You need to take the test on pride, my friend. Preaching outloud is considered a form of praising the living God. I get a high with music and preaching. High on Jesus. I also pray during all of this and outloud. What a crime that tis. music and the preaching. When the Holy Spirit comes upon me, it does not have to be with music. It can be in any place or perhaps just sitting. I have no problem with depression, anxiety, ect. A warning: Don't be critical of the workings of the all-mighty God.
---catherine on 2/21/09

I have to agree that there is probably more here than what has been stated. There may be a problem with the son and his family or he would give them his address and they would not need to rely on the daughter in law. I will be praying for this family.
---jody on 2/21/09

**You are so knowledgeable of God, you know Him and God knows you?**

Of course! Haven't you figured that out yet?

** If this is so, you need to check with Him before you rebuke another of God's person.
---catherine on 2/17/09**

I did, and He told me to tell you that you're next.

You used to talk about how you preach to the walls. Have any of them been saved yet?
---katavasia on 2/21/09

Bill: I admire your insight and wisdom in this case. Why hasn't the son contacted his parents and let them know how to reach him?

From examining that question, it may seem that maybe the younger couple may have a problem with these parents that is not being brought to light in this question. The son can avoid them via his military deployment, while the wife is distancing herself. Both behaviors are passive aggressive in themselves, unless the kids have told the parents about their problems with their relationship, and the parents have not corrected whatever was brought to light.

I am just speculating, given the new insights. I call it hypothesizing.
---Trish9863 on 2/18/09

Hi, Lee . . . well, Lee, I think Lee can be the name of a man or a woman. This can make a difference. IF you are a guy and she is your in-law > I do not know how you have been relating with her. She may be using caution, to make sure she stays faithful to her husband. HAVE you been appropriate with her? IF you have flirted with her, bending over backwards, now, might not be acceptable to her. I don't know, though. I can't assume. Also, he is your son??? He himself could easily get in touch with you.
WHY HASN'T *HE* GIVEN YOU HIS ADDRESS? IF this is a real situation and you are still here, Lee, you might make things more clear (o:
---Bill_bila5659 on 2/18/09

Oh really. My, my. Scriptures that you are referring to is Children will rise up against their parents, for my name sake, [because you belong to me]. They would endure great persecution because of their identification with Jesus Christ. Those who are truly saved will indeed endure to the end. You are so knowledgeable of God, you know Him and God knows you? If this is so, you need to check with Him before you rebuke another of God's person.
---catherine on 2/17/09

**She is a Christian in name only.**

Really? That's not what the Bible says. Mother-in-law/daughter-in-law conflicts are as old as the Gospel itself.

Jesus Himself even referred to them.

Matthew 10:35
For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
---katavasia on 2/17/09

She is a Christian in name only. If she were a true Christian God would convict and make her do right toward you. He still might, if she is a true Christian. Be patient and see.
---catherine on 2/16/09

First thing to do is pray for her. Then, ask to meet with her for lunch, or coffee, somewhere neutral, if you and she are local. Ask her if you have done anything to offend her, and then tell her how you feel. Ask if there is anything you can do to help your relationship, especially now that your son, her husband, is away.
---Trish9863 on 2/16/09

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