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Christians That Hate Parents

Can a person be a Christian if they HATE or maybe despise their "parents"?

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 ---Christine on 3/8/09
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Most of us are Christians by title.
---mike on 12/25/16

First, lets define the word CHRISTIAN - it means to be CHRIST-LIKE.

Ask yourself, can Christ hate or loath someone / anyone, The answer is No -- because He died for all people (you can imagine how terrible some people are but He still died for them) because He loves them.

1 John 4:16-20, note verse 20 which says you cannot claim to love God whom you have never seen (to be Christ-like) if you cannot love your someone you can see.

1 Corinthians 13
---KIPUSA on 12/22/16

I loathe my father but I dont think it makes me any less a Christian. ---Me on 12/13/16

Jn 15:10 If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love . . .
Jn 15:12 This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.

Three Points:
> You are not obeying Jesus, so you will receive less love (grace, mercy) from Him
> You listed MANY negative traits of your father, which you surely have inherited some degree of each. If you want to be loved despite your faults, can a Christian withhold love from his father, despite his many faults?
> We are commanded to love enemies. How can you love an enemy more than you love the man whose loins you spring from?
---aservant on 12/21/16

I loathe my father but I dont think it makes me any less a Christian. He is a selfish, self-centered human being that has caused a lot of people a lot of pain. He doesnt seem to care or denies everything. I interact with him because he needs to know Christ. I send him Christian material... he needs to get his life right with God. I feel this is the Lords will, but I dont believe that it requires that I love him in myself. Any love I have for him is because of Jesus, so glory to God for that, but do I personally like him in myself? No.
---Me on 12/13/16

Hello,everyone,you know what? I myself,was raised by a woman who
was an aethiest,yet,through all the hurt,anger she inflicted upon me,by reading the bible,my grandmother prayers she taught me to love her,yes! I was hurt when I found out
horrible family secrets..but,forgiveness made me whole,a true believer can never hate anyone.Do we get angry? Yes. We learn to love even the most horrible of persons through Christ, the love of Christ is in the heart of a true Christian we can hate the sin yet,pray,love and even fast for that sinner.Misery loves company but bitterness has no friends.
Love of Jesus!
---Elena9555 on 6/19/14

Given that it is now almost five years since this blog was started, it will be extremely hard to find out what the problem was at the beginning.

Perhaps it is best left to cool off?
---Peter on 5/31/14

Yes Christians can be deceived by lies of Satan. But they do not live in hate for that is not their nature.

Hypocrites follow Satan and do not have to be demon possessed because they justify themselves and their actions.

All we do we are responsible for. Those who deny their responsible will still pay for lying and leading others astray.

---Samuelbb7 on 5/28/14

Reading Christine's story. And, unfortunately, DONNA, you and those like you are the reason people cant stand Christians. Do not minimize others pain. We are responsible for how we respond to others in trauma. Anger is hard to work out. God makes all things possible Christine. It's a journey. I've been on it for years. But, God is healing me.

Donna, please, stop interjecting cliche responses. They are not helpful. You are repelling people, not drawing them into Christ with a gentle spirit. You do not know everything. Be supportive, be kind. Leave the correction to the Holy Spirit.
---Jess on 5/27/14

Trish9863: "StevenG: I stand by what I said, a Christian is not controlled by Satan. We can fall for his lies, but that is a choice. We are not under his control."

Satan will make a christian believe in a lie, even fool the elect, if that were possible. If the elect can be fooled, how much more a christian? When a person falls for his lies, that person is under Satan's control. And he enjoys that. Denominational christians are under Satan control by believing their church's doctrines, traditions, ways of living, and interpretations of the bible. Satan, the father of confusiion, sets up an environment (denominational churches) that causes confusion and bickering among christians - even christians within the same denomination.
---Steveng on 3/19/09

I agree with Steveng

someone does not need to be demon possessed to be influenced by Satan who is the god of this world 2Corin 4:4

Eph 2:2
Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience

feelings of hate are NOT from The Father in heaven ...these are broadcast through the "air" as all thoughts are things and feelings attitudes are transmitted through the ether ...Satan has life inherent and is spirit and easily influences all those who are subject to him on earth is why Christians are called out from the world
---Rhonda on 3/18/09

StevenG: I stand by what I said, a Christian is not controlled by Satan. We can fall for his lies, but that is a choice. We are not under his control. To say the parents were not responsible is allowing everyone to abdicate responsibility for the sin in our lives, and blame Satan. Once we have the Holy Spirit of God living in us, we have a choice to obey Him.
---Trish9863 on 3/18/09

Trish9863: "StevenG: First of all, you do not know if the parents..."

I did not say they were demon possessed, but influenced by demons - directly or indirectly.

"Paul's thorn was a messenger of Satan, not the devil himself."

Satan delegates

"Job was tormented by Satan, not people."

You need to re-read Job, but more slowly. Who influenced the Sabeans, Chaldeans, a great wind from the wilderness, and Job's wife to curse God?

"When Jesus said, "they know not what they do,""

You need to do your study of this.
---Steveng on 3/17/09

StevenG: First of all, you do not know if the parents in this situation are believers or not. Believers cannot and should not blame Satan for their behavior. If this person's parents are demon possessed, then that is a different story, but the writer did not say they were possessed.

Paul's thorn was a messenger of Satan, not the devil himself.

Job was tormented by Satan, not people.

When Jesus said, "they know not what they do," He was not saying that they had no clue they were killing a man, but that they did not know they were participating in the sacrifice of the Lamb of God.

As for Stephen, he prayed and asked the Lord not to blame the people stoning him. He said nothing about blaming Satan.
---Trish9863 on 3/16/09

I think you can be a Christian and feel hatred toward another. But I think the person should try to find better ways to resolve the issues(with the help of the Holy Spirit) Stay away from the person or people you resent,pray for them and you will feel better towards them.Do something kind for them and so forth..These acts should make you feel better about yourself and them. As christians we cannot be full of anger,hatred and other evils and be used of God. We need to be open and available so God can use us for His glory and honor. Anger short circuits this power and prevents the Holy Spirit from working through and for us.
Have you tried forgiveness? Jesus forgave us and we must be able to forgive others.
---Robyn on 3/16/09

Christine the attitude of hate comes from Satan cannot change abusive or unloving parents erasing trauma will take much time and action but you can through The Father in heaven
---Rhonda on 3/13/09

Luke 17:12-19 ...ten lepers only ONE returned to thank Christ ...thanking God should be where you start thank in advance

bitterness anger manifests itself into hate ...can spread into ingratitude in every area of your life

Turn hate around by thankfulness ...thank God everyday notice smallest things ...and everyday pray to God through Christ to remove hate you feel for your parents and for HIM to forgive your parents FOR you and thank him for doing this ...everyday patient not one person is strong enough to forgive of themselves when years of destruction by the ones who should have protected and loved have allowed hate to grow
---Rhonda on 3/13/09

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Trish9863: "StavenG: Your statement about Christine's parents not being responsible for hurting her because of Satan is as bad as the old joke on "Laugh-In" where the comedian said, "The devil made me do it.""

You are so foolish. Read the story of Stephen. What did he say about the people throwing stones? Jesus healed everyone by chasing out the demons. Who was responsible for all of Jobs problems? Who in the bible said, "...for they know not what they do." Why is Satan the cause of everything that is bad in the world? Who was the thorn in Paul's side?

Please, read your bible.
---Steveng on 3/12/09

Christine-- you cannot forgive on your own.
You need to ask the Lord for help. Pray like David did:
Psa 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.
---Donna66 on 3/12/09

Christine: When I came to Christ, I had a lot of bitterness toward my parents for some horrible things that happened to me as a child. I kept reading scriptures about unforgiveness and begging God to help me forgive them. As Barb said, unforgiveness is like taking poison, hoping the person you don't forgive will die. You are hurting yourself with this.

For me, it took prayer, therapy, and a discpleship relationship with a trusted Christian friend to help me heal.

My father is gone now, but my Mom and I have a good relationship.
---Trish9863 on 3/12/09

StavenG: Your statement about Christine's parents not being responsible for hurting her because of Satan is as bad as the old joke on "Laugh-In" where the comedian said, "The devil made me do it."
---Trish9863 on 3/12/09

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God be with you Christine. Forgiveness is a VERY important step in our walk with God.

You may not forget, but you must forgive. Unforgiveness only hurts you!

Its like taking poison and thinking some one else will die.

We often have to allow God to love others through us, but we MUST allow Him to.

Unforgiveness is a bitter root and will stunt your growth in the Lord.
Walk in freedom my sister.
---NV_Barbara on 3/11/09

Christine-- just another thought. IF you are a that I mean, if you have turned your life and your sinfulness (all have sinned) over to Jesus Christ who took the penalty for your sin on the cross...
then God has plans for your life! If you have done as I said, it is because God reached out and drew you to Himself.

Read the Bible and see the people that God used. Mostly they came from unlikely backgrounds. Concentrate on what God wants for you. As long as you hold on to the pain of the past, He can do little in your life.
If you are willing to leave all that in the dust...who knows where the Lord might take you?
---Donna66 on 3/11/09

Christine -- I'm sorry I was so blunt. I don't know what your parents did to make you hate them...and I didn't really mean that you didn't have good reason.

The truth is, though, that as a Christian, and in order to live a full adult life, you have to put those things behind you. Your parents may have messed up your childhood in the worst way, but it can't be undone. That was then. YOU have to be about NOW.

(If you have children, you will most assuredly make mistakes with them...all parents do). You couldn't help what happened to you as a child. But you, and only you, CAN determine what course your life takes from here on!
---Donna66 on 3/10/09

Christine: "Sorry Donna but I am grown up. You just blurt that out without even knowing any back round of me or the purely evil breeders I came from. never mind ok."

The Holy Spirit does not abide in a person who hates, Christine. A person does not need to know the background of another to know this is right and biblical. We are to even love our enemies and if your parents are enemies, you should love them just the same. Anyone who hates is a murderer. But, of course, it isn't your parent's fault they did what they did to you, it was Satan's fault for they did not know what they did.

What to do: go to your parents and tell them how you feel and ask them for forgiveness. Then go to God and ask for forgiveness.
---Steveng on 3/10/09

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Sorry Donna but I am grown up. You just blurt that out without even knowing any back round of me or the purely evil breeders I came from. never mind ok.
---Christine on 3/10/09

Just one piece of advice for those who claim to "hate" their parents...Grow Up.
---Donna66 on 3/9/09

NO! And any person who does stand in danger of HELL'S FIRE.
---catherine on 3/9/09

Can they?
"Whoso 'curseth'-to speak evil of, revile- father or mother, let him die the death: Cursed [be] he that 'setteth light by' -disgraces, dishonors, lightly esteems, or despises- his father or his mother." Commandment: "Honour thy father and thy mother." Per Jesus, "If you love Me keep My commandments".
"This is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous." If one is empowered, through salvation, to love the Father with all their mind, soul and strength, whom one has not seen. Loving ones parents, the channel through which one is given to experience this life, and thus have the opportunity to experience eternal life in paradise, should be a pleasure.
---Josef on 3/9/09

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According to what I read in 1st John, I would have to say probably not. John tells us that if any man(person) says he loves God and hates his brother(any other person) he is a liar. The person may have some serious issues in relation to abuse/ neglect which need to be dealt with, but, they need to rectify the problem and move on, otherwise they are deceiving themselves.
---tommy3007 on 3/9/09

Well the bible does tells us that the Love of God controls us (through the Power of the Holy Spirit that dwells us).

It's Christ in YOU, the Hope of Glory, that flows through you and gives you the ability to love your enemies. I assume if someone hates or despises their parents, they consider them their enemy.

Pray for their salvation because if they get saved, they will repent for the hurt and pain they caused you and reconcilation can take place. Why do you hate them?

Are you saved? or are they saved and making you do stuff you don't want to do? What's the deeper story here?
---donna8365 on 3/9/09

I John 4:20 If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?
---bruce5656 on 3/8/09

No one cannot, it is impossible. I love all people I just hate some of their ways of doing things. But that is between them and God. God says in his word that we can't love God if we have hate in our heart. Look up these verses they should help. 1 John 2:9-11, 1 John 4:-9-21. The verse 1 John 4:20 says If a man say he love God and hateth his brother (spiritualy) he is a liar for he that loveth not his brother whom he have seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen? So it is impossible for one to be a true Christian and have hate in their heart. Because God is Love!!
---Rebecca_D on 3/8/09

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What an absurd question. A lot of children grow up in a great deal of emotional pain, caused by their parents. Becoming a Christian does not wipe away that hurt and trauma. It takes time for Christ, and His Word, along with some counseling, to heal those hurts and see the parents in a new light, through the eyes of Christ.
---Trish9863 on 3/8/09

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