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Submissive Controling Husband

How does a wife know the difference from being a submissive wife, to dealing with a controling husband?

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 ---debi_garcia_ferry on 3/14/09
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Men and women want control of their lives. Anything that threatens to remove control, to be subjected to another, is repulsive and unnatural.

We were created to be subjected to God. This must become voluntary in order to glorify God. Involuntary submission is slavery.

Husbands who do not fervently seek the Lord's spirit will fail to serve their wives properly. It is unavoidable. It goes the same for any spouse.

Subjection to evil in this life will be rewarded in the ages to come. It an attitude of heart that few will embrace. God uses it to further His purposes.

Christ Jesus resisted only the religious hypocrites. To all others, He became a slave.
---Phil on 9/4/12

i am husband but now i am submissive to my wife. Thats why i have changed my name and relation
---janaki on 9/4/12

The least commandments are found within the foundation of the Torah, the five books of Moses. And then they are repeated through out the rest of the Torah, then in the New Testament. Yes the same are repeated by word or by ILLUSTRATION WITHIN THE STORIES, PARABLES ETC.

The Torah is about Gods love and how we are to love Him, and one another. These actions of Love do not change.

For instance the actions of showing respect are about love with God and men. Why would the actions of showing love change with time? So the principal of respect has not passed away right?

Well neither are other examples, principles given in the Torah on how we are to love God and each other.
---Paul9594 on 10/30/09

Did Jesus preached to and healed just the Jews?

Matthew 4:24 his fame went throughout all Syria: and they brought unto him all sick people that were taken with divers diseases and torments, and those which were possessed with devils, and he healed them. 25 And there followed him great multitudes of people from [from] Jerusalem, and [from] Judaea, and [from] BEYOND JORDAN.

Multitudes followed your savior including those beyond the Jordan. Maybe He also preached salvation while he healed, after all was not the Jew also present with those beyond Jordan?

Who taught you the Gospels were just for the Jew? Is not Christs instructions, teachings from our Father also for those He adopts? Or just for the Jew?
---Paul9594 on 10/30/09

The least commandment is defined by "shall" within the context and illustration per Scripture.

Some examples of a least commandment:

Gen 1:29 And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb yielding seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed, to you it SHALL be for food:

Christians suffer sickness because they are getting enough of what is in ORGANIC NATURE FOODS.

Gen 3:16 pain thou shalt bring forth children, and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he SHALL rule over thee.
---Paul994 on 10/30/09

Was the teaching about wives submitting to husband given as a commandment?

What's the definition of the least commandment?
---alan8566_of_uk on 10/30/09

Mat 5:17 Think not that I came to destroy the law or the prophets: I came not to destroy, but to fulfil.

Mat 5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass away, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass away from the law, till all things be accomplished.

Mat 5:19 Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.

Was this for the Jew Only and not for the Christians?
---Paul9594 on 10/29/09

I am having the same problems with my husband. He wants my life before him to be gone. Doesn't like anything that anyone has ever given to me. Doesn't even want me to go to church with my own father because he thinks that "men will try to pick you up". I love him so much but he is so difficult sometimes.
---Trish on 10/28/09

Please submit totally to God first. Prayerfully practise what the word of God says. Then cast your burden(of the bossy husband)to the Lord, you will be surprised how God will fight for you and grant you continous joy and peace.
---Adetunji on 10/26/09

1Timothy 6:3 If any man teach otherwise, and consent not to wholesome words, the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which is according to godliness,
4 He is proud, knowing nothing, but doting about questions and strifes of words, whereof cometh envy, strife,

Dear friend, first memorize the sound words of Christ and make sure you do not share interpretations that do not consent to His sound Words! Thank you

From your saviors lips:
Matthew 5:19 Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven:
When His lips said this there was no New Testament!Tell me, what does this mean?
---John on 10/26/09

Dear Amanda Part 2
John 8:51 Verily, verily, I say unto you, If a man keep my word, he shall never see death.

Do you realize that when Christ said this there was no New Testament! So Keep the Old Testament, or better as He puts it, keep His Word! Your savior did not call His Word, Old Testament as men have labeled His Word incorrectly! Old implies that it has past, lets have the new. After all, we always want the new, its supposed to better than the Old? Right? Dear friend the new are the doctrines with the precepts of men! Do we want the precepts of our Father or of men?

Here is the topic, the subject of Ephesians 5:21:
---John on 10/22/09

Submission within the marriage of love is for the sake of union, ending the disagreement with the one leading making the final decision. Submission is about respect for the leader at work.
Is not showing respect, about showing love? Then, Show love for your husband. I thought women were about love!

Would like to placed as the leader and be stepped all over by the one who is supposed to follow your leadership?

Do unto others as you would like them to do unto you, if you were the leader.

How would you feel about the one who is suppose to follow you, ignoring you, stepping all over your leadership?
That would be disrespectful, for you, wouldn't it?
---John on 10/22/09

Dear Amanda, verse you speak of is Ephesians 5:21, Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

For the sake of union in doctrine and one mindness in the body of Christ. interpret, understand the scripture within context of the topic, subject!
Please, do not take interpret scriptures out of their topic, context!
This is why the church suffers division and we have thousands of denominations! Can a house divided Stand? Will you continue to let the enemy divide us? Please study the whole Word of God, the law and the Prophets and the New Testament and if any scripture interpretation, application contradicts, by adding, subtractingto the sound words of Christ then throw that interpretation out!! Why because Christ said:
---John on 10/22/09

You need to become the pack leader.
Ephesians 5:21-6:9.
---Glenn on 6/10/09

My wife asks me to do a lot for her and is happy until I choose not to do it or delay doing it. What does this mean? On the other hand, If I ask her to do something and it's not done and I ask her again, she becomes offended.
---Jerry on 6/9/09

In my opinion, if he is controlling, he will want you to do everything his way. If he believes in the "we submit to each other verse" he will let you have your way sometimes, just as you will let him have his way sometimes.
---amand6348 on 4/28/09

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There is a verse that says that they are to submit to each other. If the wife is doing all of the submitting, this is not a fair marriage.
---Amanda on 4/16/09

Read Ephesians 5:22 - 24 According to the Bible, wives are to submit to their husbands in everything. Then read Ephesians 5:25-33. Verse 25. "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. If the wife is submitting to the husband but the husband is not submitting to Christ as His servant, then the wife is being obedient to Christ but the husband is not. The husband is not meant to be the master of his wife, but rather her spiritual leader. If she is obeying Christ by following her husband but her husband is not following Christ, then the wife will become bitter and resentful toward the husband and toward God. Husbands and wives should be one in marriage with God at the head of their union.
---Leslie on 3/30/09

1Peter 3:1 Likewise,ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.

The wife first needs to know what she was
designed for. It was that she was to be a help meet not a slave or a rug to walk on
she has opinions and they do count.The man
is command to love his wife like Christ loves the chruch. The man needs to learn how to be a good wife before he can
be a good husband. That mean he needs to be submissive to God and line up with Gods word. God left us a handbook on every situation our job is to study it.

---Hilda on 3/28/09

If you do this: 1Corinthians 11:3-10, 13, 15 & 16, 14:34 & 35, Ephesians 5:22-24, 33, Colossians 3:18, 1Timothy 2:11-14, Titus 2:5, 1Peter 3:1, 2, 5, 6, and he does this: 1Corinthians 7:33, Ephesians 5:25-29, 31, 33, Colossians 3:19, 1Peter 3:7 / 1Timothy 5:8, this resolves the situation. If you violate Genesis 3:16 (Gen4:7), and /or he violates 1John 4:12 then you have problems. If he doesn't consider her best interest, he might easily be abusive, if he asks her to make a sandwich, and she believe it is contrary to the Lords' will, and beneath her dignity, make the sandwich.

The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all - amen.


---Glenn on 3/25/09

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I'm having trouble figuring out something on the basis of the title of this blog.

Is the husband SUBMISSIVE? Or is the husband CONTROLLING?

Since gramatically both ajectives modify the noun "husband", and they are antithetical, it's hard to tell.
---katavasia on 3/25/09

Being "submissive" and being a "door mat" are to different things. Like in any organization there has to be Chairman of the Board, which is he husband. But, you also have to have a president, which is the wife. Any COB knows that to have a smooth operation, you have to have an effective president. Transfering this senario to the marrage, to be 100% effective, the two must execute their areas of responsibilty as a team. The sad part is the husband will take Scripture out of context and think he is the dictator instead of the delegator. The Bible states that the husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. What are to two basic things Christ did for the church? (He suffered and died for the church.)
---wivv on 3/23/09

"rather let it be the hidden person of the heart,
with the incorruptible beauty of
a gentle and quiet spirit,
which is very precious in the sight of God." (1 Peter 3:4)

First, make sure YOU are submissive . . . to God . . . in this incorruptible beauty of God's Spirit of love. And if he is just controlling, he won't be able to relate with you very well while he is not being submissive to God and you are. But in God's love you are

"submitting to one another in the fear of God." (Ephesians 5:21)

We need to make sure WE are really pleasing to God, and not getting decoyed with figuring out what other people are doing.
---Bill_bila5659 on 3/20/09

We are to submit to each other in Christ.
A wife must be submissive to her husband because ultimately he answers to God for his family. However, a husband must love his wife. If he is making decisions and choices out of love and respect for his wife then her submission to him will be willing and natural. Read Ephesians 5:21-33
---Melissa on 3/18/09

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Submission is not an act of love? You only submit to a dictator? Wow. Christ stated that he ONLY did what the Father told him to do. Paul said that Jesus did not consider equality with God something to be grasped but instead HUMBLED HIMSELF (ie, willingly) to the point of death. My husband and I submit to each other frequently, giving up what we want right this minute for what the other wants. It IS very much an act of love and we are very blessed by it.

Try it.
---Melinda on 3/17/09

The bible tells each wife to submitt to their husband,and also that we all should submitt to those who have authority over us.submission is biblical ,and not a dictatorship,unless it is blind submisssion to the evil that is done in its name.and yes a dictatorship is one of these. submission does not mean too accept rule by those who are in error.or those who would have you break Gods word.
---tom2 on 3/17/09

I've noticed that many presumably Christian women come here to complain about their mean ole husbands.

Men, on the other hand, have been VERY silent about how their wives treat them.

Is this just gentlemanliness, or is there something else possibly going on?
---katavasia on 3/16/09

By measuring up how your husband treats you using the word of God as a guidance of how a husband should be.
Google online bible and type Love husband into the search engine!

If your husband is loving kind generous in his approach towards you and your family through the example of love/Christ given in the bible you know he is of God.

If however he is none of these things then you know he is being controlling and that takes a love Agape love beyond your natural ability to work through and can only be done through the washing of your life through the word of God.
---Carla3939 on 3/16/09

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A controlling husband is one who may be possesive and manipulative. He may seek to isolate you from family and friends. Your opinions and values do not matter. He may use words and insults to humiliate you. He tries to strip away your self worth. He may control the finances. If he is a Christian he may use the Bible to keep you in your place.
---pg1 on 3/15/09

by knowing for a fact that
#1 what he does is for your well being
# 2 because it,s done as all things with love and gentleness
# 3 that you needs and desires take precidence over his.
# 4 that he seeks counsel from you
---tom2 on 3/15/09

All throughout history, many cultures have been crude, prudish, and VERY chauvinistic. Life was harder than today, death was commonplace, lifespans were short (especially when there were no hospitals, medicine, food safety, etc.), and compassion for those who suffer misfortune proved to be almost useless. Life was very crude and the injustice of imposing SUBMISSION on a loved one was not recognized.

Being raised in a crude and chauvinistic culture, Paul was also very chauvinistic.

In today's modern society, there is ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE for a person to be crude (neandrathal) in their attitudes and even SUGGEST that a woman be SUBMISSIVE (no matter what is read in the bible or self-servingly rationalized to be true).
---more_excellent_way on 3/14/09

"SUBMISSION" is NOT the way of love (you only "submit" to a DICTATOR). God desires that we know Him personally as "Abba Father" (dear Father, Galatians 4:6) instead of master/taskmaster, and we should be "friend" (James 2:23) instead of slave/servant. After we come to know God (no longer an unbeliever), we should no longer fear Him (our love should become perfect, 1 John 4:18) and there should be no room in us for FEAR (Mark 12:30) because He is not a punisher (we should live under the "law of liberty", James 1:25 and 2:12) because the sin laws were abolished, Ephesians 2:15).

"Submission" is NOT the way of love, it is part of a DICTATOR relationship, not a LOVE relationship.
---more_excellent_way on 3/14/09

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First pray. If you need help praying, the book, "The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie O'Martian can help you. Pray for your husband and pray for discernment. Also, seek out an older, Christian woman to disciple you, and pray with you about your marriage. Ask for her help in learning how to be a Biblically submissive wife.
---Trish9863 on 3/14/09

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