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Helping Her To Divorce

I'm on love with a married woman. I got her away from her husband that beat her and her kids 3 and 5 yrs old. She, her kids and her folks, love me. Shes trying to get a divorce right now, but is what I'm doing wrong? Am I going to go to hell for loving a woman I helped out as a friend?

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 ---Joshua on 3/16/09
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Remember those verses where Jesus is all..I was hungry, and ye fed me. I was thirsty, I was homeless, I was in jail, etc etc. That is what you did for this woman.

This man was unfaithful to her, because he beat her.

You are doing the right thing, as long as you are not sleeping with her!
---amand6348 on 5/10/09

MarkV You're welcome. It's very nice of you to listen to what I say and that you haven't seen me attacking,I appreciate it. I doubt there are any two strangers in the World who agree with everything another person says. That is what it's about,respect for another's view whether we believe it or not. I love Bible studies and I have seen things which make me dig and do research in the Bible and that is a good thing. Blessings
---Darlene_1 on 5/8/09

Darline, thank you for your kind words. I have alway's listened to what you say, I am sure we don't agree with everything which is fine since we both have been discipled by different people. I am glad we can discuss Scripture. I don't see you attacking but giving your points. I respect your points of view as a Pentecostal believer, just as I respect Andy's and others. When I give information it is so that others can check if they want, if not, it doesn't hurt anyone. Thanks again and blessings to you
---MarkV. on 5/7/09

MarkV thank you for the word of blessing thats very kind of you. May I say right back to you,that the blessings you bless others with come back to you a 100 fold.
---Darlene_1 on 5/5/09

Carla, praise God you and the kids are ok. I am more then a fan of yours sister but even if I wasn't I feel the same. Blessings to you and to Darline. The personal topics on life, whether marriage, spanking kids, devorce, what to eat, church leaders, and so many others are very touchy subjects to discuss and when someone gives opinion that might not be the same case with another who went through the same thing. All cases are many times so different and many times you never hear the other partners opinion to know if what was said was true. What we do have is Scripture and the meaning God wanted to convey. Blessings to both of you in the Lord.
---MarkV. on 5/4/09

Carla you are more than welcome for the prayers. I'm very glad that there are no serious injuries. We never can imagine even what the next moment will hold for any of us,but because God knows all,we can face all of our tomorrows. I agree you don't know what our prayers may be really needed for until after something happens where we see the power and love of God protecting us and our loved ones. So sorry for the damage to your home and your injury. I've had whiplash and know how it can hurt,hope you get over it soon. God Bless
---Darlene_1 on 5/2/09

HalleluYah! All glory and praise to Elohim for watching over you, Carla. His miracles never cease! That your children slept right through it was also a blessing in that they were unharmed and not traumatized by the explosion in their home. May He continue to bless and keep you!!!
---AlwaysOn on 5/2/09

Thank you for your prayers PRAISE GOD!

Our home was practically blown up by a incompetent Gas workman's mistake who had just worked on our refrigerator it exploded .I have not long come home from spending several hours in Accident and Emergency with whip lash injuries I was standing right on top of the blast that took out the ceilings front and back door of our house/conservatory.
( Miracle) two children slept right by the blast, the Fire service were amazed we didn't have a single serious casualty, every window cupboard door was blown out, Our house was like a bomb site.

I never refuse prayer thank you, regardless you never know what prayer can do!

God Bless CarlaX
---Carla3939 on 5/2/09

Carla you said "I don't think God's Word holds no confusion", God's Word says, 1Corinthians 14:33 For God is not the author of confusion,but of peace,as in all churches of the saints. The Bible is writen by God through man and since God isn't the author of confusion,but is the author of the Bible then the Bible can't have confusion. Humans are the authors of confusion. James 3:17 & 18 But the wisdom which is from above is first pure,then peaceable,gentle,then easy to be intreated,full of mercy and good fruits,without partiality,and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace. God Bless my prayers are with you.
---Darlene_1 on 5/1/09


When I need to say sorry I'm up front and apologise.

This blog was about Joshua and his woman friend so ask yourselves how it suddenly turn to be about me having Checked the wrong intelligence box to suit Your intellectual response. Why should my liberty be judged by your conscience and getting insulted in the process only you can answer that one.

Confusion I don't think Gods word holds NO confusion but maybe when you don't study properly/research the Gospel confusion set in on Your part.

If you wanted to apologise what was the drama all about I accept that you are sorry you wouldn't have needed to if being high minded did not get in the way of your response no sweat!


---Carla3939 on 5/1/09

CAIRO An 8-year-old Saudi girl has divorced her middle-aged husband after her father forced her to marry him last year in exchange for about $13,000, her lawyer said Thursday. Saudi Arabia has come under increasing criticism at home and abroad for permitting child marriages. The United States, a close ally of the conservative Muslim kingdom, has called child marriage a "clear and unacceptable" violation of human rights.

The girl was allowed to divorce the 50-year-old man who she married in August after an out-of-court settlement had been reached in the case, said her lawyer, Abdulla al-Jeteli. The exact date of the divorce was not immediately known.
---YLBD on 5/1/09

Carla what I said wasn't criticism,I meant to say I was sorry but you can't accept it when someone is being nice to you. Maybe the reason the Moderators allowed mine and not yours is because they realized I was sincere in what I was saying. Carla you twist everything anyone says to you into an attack,when that isn't true at all. Such as me saying I didn't think your Intelligence was lower than average after reading the blogs,thats not criticism,again,I actually said something nice to you but you never see the positive in anything,everything to you is negative. Seems you don't want to see the nice or fair things because that would end the confrontational mess which results from your false evaluation about others statements. God hates confussion.
---Darlene_1 on 4/29/09


You made a complete meal of my mistake and even suggested how if you knew I could not mentally...... then you would not have asked me to respond in the first place.

If the mods are not going to allow me to respond why did they allow the Criticism in the first place is that considered FAIR especially when they don't post my replies?

What is everyone's allowed to criticise me yet I have no right of reply?
---Carla3939 on 4/29/09

Carla I didn't say you're uneducated. You said on your profile "You" considered yourself to have lower than average intelligence. I never said you couldn't respond intellectually or I have a Doctorate Degree either,I don't. I said "in case" it's true perhaps I had been wrong to expect too much of you if you"aren't capable of seeing the truth" and said I was sorry if it was true "if you aren't mentally able". I never said you have lower than average intelligence thats all your doing and I have seen you changed it,and also saw you have an AA Degree. I told you I didn't get the impression you have "lower than average" from your profile and reading the Blogs.
---Darlene_1 on 4/28/09

Carla ... Let me put it stronger ...

You say that Tricia gave "blatant advice indicating that Joshua take up the woman after the event"

She did not say that.

Why did you say that she did, when she did not?

As to the rest of what you say, Darlene did give a fact about what you had in your profile (and it was true because I had already seen it) but you have now corrected it.
---alan8566_of_UK on 4/27/09

Yes Alan,

according to Your recall....... but you can just as well call me uneducated as Darlene worked out the ''FACT'' on my profile where she worked out I was unable to respond intellectually as she does perhaps because she has a doctorate, I'm only Higher education educated still Jesus was the stone the builders reject and look who became the Chief corner stone! ULRIKA greater things can happen eh!

however Trish is just as bad as I am at reading English are you too?
---Carla3939 on 4/27/09

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Obewan there are no words to express how sorry I am for you that you were lied to...---------------------

I let it happen so it was my own fault. My point was that I actually wanted prior abuse to be the case so I could become the rescue hero. It made being involved with a divorced woman ok in my mind.

My mother and family were very much against my being involved with her, so I trumped up the abuse story to make her seem like a better option in their mind. Also, people at the church were judging her.

If the woman in this blog were romantically involved with a person giving pastoral counseling I think the blog responses would be different. The same principles should apply whether the counselor is secular of clergy though.
---obewan on 4/27/09

Obewan there are no words to express how sorry I am for you that you were lied to and taken advantage of. Please don't let this cloud your compassion for other hurting people. That type woman is the exception not the normal. I enjoyed our exchange,maybe we both saw another side of a sad situation. God Bless and help you heal.
---Darlene_1 on 4/24/09

I'm not sure why you want to minamize the abuse so it isn't but I do know for sure you don't play "maybe its not" games when people are being hurt. Darlene
I don't want to minimize or say it isn't happening, nor advise against intervention is she is in danger of being hurt.

I only can speak from my own experience. I was in love with a divorced woman, and I was telling everyone her ex had beat her too. In the end, my vision turned out to be clouded, and my statements to be false. At the time I was convinced they were true. She made it clear to me that she wanted "a better life for herself." That is when my eyes were opened. I will stop my dissenting posts now.
---obewan on 4/24/09

1Pe 4:14 If ye be reproached for the name of Christ, happy [are ye], for the spirit of glory and of God resteth upon you: on their part he is evil spoken of, but on your part he is glorified.

1Pe 4:15
But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or [as] a thief, or [as] an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men's matters.

1Pe 4:16
Yet if [any man suffer] as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God on this behalf.
---Carla3939 on 4/24/09

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Obewan you know as well as I do that restraining someone who is attacking you is selfdefense and has nothing to do with abuse. Nothing indicated the children were being spanked and that called abuse. I'm not sure why you want to minamize the abuse so it isn't but I do know for sure you don't play "maybe its not" games when people are being hurt. Action is urgent when there is abuse because the next day may be the day abuse turns to murder. There is no excuse for a grown man to hit a woman or children. Don't dismiss every situation as false just because there may rarely be a case which isn't as bad as it's made out to be. Abusive people are as dangerous as brute beasts and threatened people must be removed from harms way.
---Darlene_1 on 4/24/09

Carla ... Yes I did notice the LOL.

But I meant my last comment in all seriousness:

"Until then, yes, suffer your husband alive ... or rather enjoy every minute that you have with him, even the times he may irritate you like mad"

That is not meant in jest.
---alan8566_of_UK on 4/24/09

Carla: You twist my words to suit your thinking. I never said for Joshua to take up with the woman after her divorce. I told him to wait until her divorce is over and she has healed to then examine if it is appropriate to date her.

I also posted a follow-up stating that by then, her ex could be dead or remarried, which would free her to date at that point.

You do not know the future, and therefore do not know if this woman will be free OR NOT, when the time comes.
---Trish9863 on 4/23/09


I guess you did not notice the abbreviation lol

.............It was meant in jess!

Oh forget it,

It's lost........ in fact anything that indicates I'm not the mean heartless person that your trying to make me out to be.... is lost.
There is not a single person that ever misunderstood me after knowing the real me that we have not ended up being the best of friends for life! I bet that surprises you don't know me Alan and that's a shame!
---Carla3939 on 4/23/09

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Carla ...You have such a go at me, I am interested in what you say about others, in case they are receiving the same treatment. I find that Trish may be a fellow victim.

You say that she gave "blatant advice indicating that Joshua take up the woman after the event"

In saying that, you call her a liar for denying a few days ago that she "encouraged the gentleman to have an adulterous relationship with the battered wife"

When you first made that charge against her, I did check what she had written, and I don't recall that she did give such encouragement.

Perhaps now, since you have taken "a long hard look" at her response, you can quote this and so prove your point?
---alan8566_of_UK on 4/23/09

Trish If I am finally going to be able to respond to your comment!!!!!!!!!

Take a long hard look at your response to this man cause I'm getting sick of posting your blatant advice indicating that Joshua take up the woman after the event which indicates their not happy with my reply but that you can post anything including calling me a liar!

How is that??????
---Carla3939 on 4/23/09

I would remind you,though,in USA I know,it is even abuse if you restrain a spouse in any way to try to prevent them from leaving. It is listed in the Penal Code.
Gee, then my own neice is "abused." She has a problem with hitting people in the chest when she is in a disagreement. She pounds you on the chest. We tell her to stop. She won't. The only way to make her stop is to physically restrain her arms. She does it to her father and her husband. Who is abusing who?

As for the children, administering corporal punishment with a belt is now called beating. It did not used to be that way.
---obewan on 4/23/09

Carla ... I'm amazed that you interpret my words to mean that you "need to suffer the death of" your spouse.

Sadly, Carla, in due time, either you or your husband will suffer the death of a spouse. Until then it is 100% true that neither of you has YET suffered that.

You clearly do not look forward to that time, since you hate death. Why do you take such offense when I say that I understand your hate & fear of death, having myself suffered the death of my wife?

Until then, yes, suffer your husband alive ... or rather enjoy every minute that you have with him, even the times he may irritate you like mad.
---alan8566_of_UK on 4/23/09

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Carla don't need to tell me why you hate death ... since I have actually suffered the death of my spouse, and you have not yet.
---alan8566_of_UK on 4/22/09

Alan why do you think I need to suffer the death of my spouse (YET)?

Until then is it okay that suffer him alive lol
---Carla3939 on 4/23/09

Obewan you are right there are a few twisted souls who would use even a lie to get the spouse they are angry at in trouble. I would remind you,though,in USA I know,it is even abuse if you restrain a spouse in any way to try to prevent them from leaving. It is listed in the Penal Code in Chapter 20,Section 20.01 to restrict a persons movements without consent,so as to interfere substantilly with the persons liberty. You see even though good intentions were the motivation,it was not only a form of abuse but broke the Law. No matter what one thinks and may or may not believe is going on physical abuse leaves marks and are easy to see and when children are involved you don't wait to find out,you help rescue those children with the mother.
---Darlene_1 on 4/23/09

discription of an abuser,add to that the physical abuse they become a wife and/or child beater---Darlene 1
Not trying to be contentious, just pointing out we only have one side of the story.

I was "romatically" involved with a divorced woman whose ex "beat" her. I investigated further and learned that he only "held" or "restrained" her to keep her from going out to partake of drugs and adulterous relationships. Her loss of "freedoms" to engage in her self-destructive behaviour was called "abuse".

Not saying the OP is lair either, but we only have 1 side of the story from a person whose interest is vested/compromised.
---obewan on 4/22/09

Carla ... What are you wanting from me?
In what way have I offended you this time?
You seem to rebuff all my efforts to make peace.
You bewilder me.
---alan8566_of_UK on 4/22/09

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see there you go, now l have not experienced death in the capacity as you have done !
I qive up your riqht
God blessX
---carla3939 on 4/22/09

1 Corinthians 5:11,13 But now I have written unto you not to keep company,if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator,covetous,idolator,railer,drunkard,or extortioner with such an one know not to eat. Railer to revile,scold in harsh,insolent,or abusive language. That is the discription of an abuser,add to that the physical abuse and they become a wife and/or child beater.But them that are without,God judgeth,therefore put from among yourselves that wicked person.Proverbs22:24,25 Make no friendship with an angry man,and with a furious man thou shalt not go. Lest thou learn his ways and set a snare for your soul. These verses show we all aren't to associate with an abuser in a relationship.
---Darlene_1 on 4/22/09

Kellie: I agree with vs. 15, but verses 13 and 14 have to be considered first:

13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

I would not dismiss the possibility that he could be saved. Maybe things are beyond that point, but we don't have enough information from the OP to know for sure. There are options like getting police protection too. This man CAN be helped IF he is WILLING to change.
---obewan on 4/22/09

1 Cor 7:15 " But if an unbeliever departs, let him depart, a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases." An abuser CANNOT be a believer and if she is not under bondage I believe she is free to remarry. Stay pure until the divorce.
---Kellie on 4/22/09

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Carla ... I don't think you understand yuorself what you said, because you appear to object to me treating your singleness comment as applying to all, and then for thinking it related to to Joshua's friend's situation.

I have acknowedged twice the fact I may have misunderstood you (but did I? ... because I am now further confused as to what you meant) but you have not apologised for or even acknowledged your false accusation that I cursed yuor husband.

Carla don't need to tell me why you hate death ... since I have actually suffered the death of my spouse, and you have not yet.
---alan8566_of_UK on 4/22/09


Singleness is singleness I did not address singleness for everyone and the sooner you accept that and apologise for your misunderstanding the better.

It's obvious you don't see that and that's fine why keep going on about your point nailing your comment to the woman and her circumstance.

If you want to define the question post the consequences of singleness and nail someone good and proper if they post the response you wish to discuss but please stop attaching your loneliness to my comment to Joshua.

If you read my comment on death you'll get a better understanding why I say I hate death.
---Carla3939 on 4/22/09

I agree with Mark V's advice here to Joshua, and it is very sound advice.
---Anne on 4/22/09

I have heard many stories where the woman was in an abusive marriage, and they went to Christain counseling, and the husband got saved, and the abuse stopped, and the marriage was saved. There are people in my current church married 20 or 30 years after the abuse stopped.

Reconciliation should always be the first goal. A person who is romantically involved is not in the best position to give advice on divorce proceedings. I would refer her to pastoral counseling. If the husband refuses counseling, then maybe divorce should proceed. Also, many women who claim abuse when pressed will admit it is only "emotional". Emotional abuse has many different definitions and manifestations. In some cases, the women are contentious.
---obewan on 4/22/09

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Joshua, I don't believe anyone goes to hell for helping a women who is been abused. I believe we are called to help others. I also don't believe an agape love for her will send you to hell either since True love for someone does not seek its own. If you are talking about loving her for yourself you are very very wrong. That would mean that all you are doing is so that you can lead her out of her marriage and get involve with you. You are almost doing what David did when he met someone that he too wanted. He set all things in motion for the guy to get kill so that he could have what he wanted. You cannot hide from God what your intentions are.
---MarkV. on 4/21/09

Thank you Mark!
---alan8566_of_UK on 4/20/09

People: Carla bears false witness constantly on this blog. She said I encouraged the gentleman to have an adulterous relationship with the battered wife, and that is a bold faced lie.
---Trish9863 on 4/20/09


It matters not to me if you never dialogue with me again. You encouraged a man to have an adulterous relationship when the woman was still married and will still be married after the divorce since her husband is still alive.

Yes I am deep when it comes to marriage because it's the one union that I happen to understand that when you marry you do so until death or fornication, whereby Paul encourages a wife to remain single or reconcile.

I know the God in whom has kept me from a babe to adulthood and if he cannot keep this woman establish and provide for her then the word of God is a lie (God forbid) and my salvation was in vain this man certainly can't do a better job than God.
---Carla3939 on 4/20/09

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Alan, I apoligize to you if my comment went the wrong way. I only wanted to clear what Carla said in the first place.
she commented on been single and blessed was in the context of her condition at the time. I believe she is right, that lady would be blessed if she moved out and so would the kids.
No one who is abusive quits in a day, week, or a few months. They always go back to what they do. It takes time for God to work in the person's life, and many times God does not interfere and permits the person to go on. That is why separation is the best reason. Depending on God she will be better off without him even if she has to struggle in life along with her children. At least the kids are save.
---MarkV. on 4/20/09

I never suggested that the advice given by Carla was incorrect. She should get out of the marriage, and she should not shackup with another guy, and it is inappropriate that the questioner here should get so close.

My single point remains however, that singleness in such a circumstance (as in, or worse perhaps than in widowhood) is NOT a blessing, although to have God with you in it would be a blessing.

If your marriage collapsed, would you regard it as a blessing? Carla would not, so why should this poor lady?
---alan8566_of_UK on 4/20/09

MarkV ... I have been trying to explain and make peace.
---alan8566_of_UK on 4/20/09

Joshua~ A part of your conscience seems to be telling you that something about what you're doing is wrong. Your conscience is normally an accurate guide unless it has been seared by evil. To fall in love with a married woman is just wrong wrong wrong. I know you are wanting to help her, and the abuse they suffer is terrible, but God is strict about people getting mixed up with people who are already married. I'd be careful if I were you and pray very deeply and earnestly. Search your Bible for the answers very very carefully. Adultery is a grievous sin in the eyes of God. Best wishes and God bless.
---Anne on 4/20/09

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Alan, if you go back and read what Carla wrote you will see the reason why she wrote, here it is,
"She is still married to her husband that don't mean you stay in the marriage and get battered it means you cannot remarry, but you should separate with the safety of the children and yourself in mind not shack up with another bloke!. Being single and with God is a blessing not a curse!"
She wrote that she would be blessed more single. She, not everyone. Not that been single is a blessing. Been single is a blessing when been married and abused is happening.
She suggested the correct way, and really, the abused wife's problem is her husband for she is married and should not be in any relationship.
---MarkV. on 4/20/09

Alan, 2: Everyone knows that been single is not always a blessing to everyone, for many don't want to be alone. This guy on the question above is sinning by even suggesting to get involve with a married women. That happens many times when women is in trouble and a man comes to the rescue. Instead of a women witnessing to the victum a man does. Then crying on the shoulder comes, and so on. That only gives the devil room to move in on the problem.
Carla, I believe answered correctly, get away from the marriage, protect the kids, and don't fool around. You took it wrong when you answered, "But no doubt you would feel more blessed if yuo lose your hubby by death or devorce" she never said devorce or death you did.
---MarkV. on 4/20/09

I was not commenting on whether it would be right for the lady to remarry.
As I said before, my only point was to make you think about your statement that this poor lady should feel blessed by being single through the cruel actions of her husband.
You still seem to think that she should, though you would regard it a curse if it happened to you.
I'm sorry you thought I was cursing your husband ... how could I do that, not being a witch-doctor?
My post was to Trish ... and was true... I too have suffered here from lies from others, and not received apologies.
---alan8566_of_UK on 4/20/09

Carla: Once again, you are mistaken. Reread this post I made:

"Alan: You are much more patient and persistent than I am. I gave up trying to reason with Carla days ago. Good luck.
---Trish9863 on 4/14/09"

You are selective in what you read, and how you think.
---Trish9863 on 4/19/09

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You focused on one part of the post you refused recognise through the word what Matt/Corinth declares on divorce/remarriage in it's entirety rather you focused on one part of that post, then made the suggestion of divorce and cursed my husband with death and humbly ask that you retract what you posted. I do not receive it, but resist the works of the devil in Jesus name.

Pro 18:21
Death and life [are] in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

Psa 50:19
Thou givest thy mouth to evil, and thy tongue frameth deceit.

Psa 118:17
I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the LORD.
---Carla3939 on 4/19/09

Trish ... don't worry about it.
It is not uncommon here that those who have made mistaken comments find it difficult, when corrected, to withdraw or apologise.
---alan8566_of_UK on 3/27/09

Trish was responding to me so why did you post this statement, if you re read the posts It's not the first time I said you were being Hypocritical.
---Carla3939 on 4/19/09

Carla ... I have returned home now, so will be able to respond to you
---alan8566_of_UK on 4/18/09

Carla ... if you reply, please don't expect animmediate response, for I am going away to walk on the marvellousa coast path of Devon & Cornwall, for a few days and won't have internet access.
---alan8566_of_UK on 4/15/09

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Carla ... You seem to say you don't want to add fuel to the flames, which presumably means yuo would like to restore peace between us ... as I would.

So it would be helpful to that if you could actually point out my hypocrisy (which you have only just now mentioned for the first time) I will then ne able to answer, and if justified, withdraw and apologise, or explain that you misunderstood.

So please tell me, and it would be nice if at the same time you withdrew your accusation that I cursed you.

I have been quite clear in the question I have asked you, and it would be good if you could be similarly open in return
---alan8566_of_UK on 4/15/09


the reason I refuse to add fuel to your fire is that you just refuse to address what really happened over the last few weeks and If you were of a good conscience you would see where you made an hypocritical statement and address it. Why is it too obvious to own up to?.

Look never mind I would like to move on and and do something more constructive it's obvious you and the others that jumped on my back have not repented that's fine there's an OLD Jamaican saying GODS NOT SLEEPING!
---Carla3939 on 4/15/09

Alan: You are much more patient and persistent than I am. I gave up trying to reason with Carla days ago. Good luck.
---Trish9863 on 4/14/09

This woman needed help, not necessarily another emotional attachment. It is good to help her as a sister in the Lord. Give her time to sort out her own life and what she needs to do without complicating things. She has kids...this is a very complex situation. You need to back away emotionally and let her sort things out. Try to get other people involved with helping her so she does not become emotionally attached to you. In her distress it is tempting to transfer her emotions and needs onto a helpful 3rd party. It is wrong of you to take advantage of her state of mind and neediness at this point. Don't start the relationship out with her being dependent on you for help. She needs to feel independent and emotionally whole to make right decisions.
---Shirley on 4/14/09

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Carla ... Continued ... You see Carla, you said that this woman, abused and by that betrayed by her husband, shoul,d regard herself as blessed

My comment about widowhood was to say that that is not a blessing, and that singledom foollowing divorce would be even worse becasue of the betrayel involved.

Can't you see that?
---alan8566_of_UK on 4/14/09

Carla ... Your implication througout has been that it is a blessing to be single, for whatever reason, and you have not until now suggested that does not apply to widowhood.

And I have explained already that it may have been another Carla who said it some long time ago.

I have never said I want to call a spade a spade, sut since you obvioulsy do, please explain why the poor woman who is the subject of this question should regard herself to be blessed, when you would regard singledom for yourself from the same cause a curse?
---alan8566_of_UK on 4/14/09

---alan8566_of_UK on 4/7/09

rather I feel you curse me,?.... for this does not seem to be the first time that you have suggested I am more blessed now as a widower than I was before my beloved wife died.

When did I say that to you in specific Alan?

You have no evidence of my every stating the above because I wasn't posting concerning and never have posted concerning you as a widower and You evade the responsibility of this blatant accusation. since you want to call a spade a spade, I had left the accusation so HERE YOU ARE ADDRESS IT PLEASE!

---Carla3939 on 4/14/09

Carla ... I have no idea what you want me to apologise for. I have already explained my innuendo comment .. You had implied I was avoiding answering
I have never said anything ficticious to you.
I have never defended anyone "shacking" up immorally.
I have made NO comment about whether an innocent divorced woman may remarry.
The ONLY point I was making was that you said it is a blessing to be single, & I suggested & indeed I know from experience that it is not a blessing for a widower, and it can't be for a cruelly treated abandoned woman.
I again ask you ... If singleness is a blessing for her, or for me, why is it that you would regard such singleness as a curse for yuorself?
---alan8566_of_UK on 4/13/09

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maybe you have quite a few things like the ones you suggested to me to say to the replies on another blog where the answers are pretty much the same as what I posted here. Not that he is doing anything wrong in your opinion or that I also mentioned that shacking up with another bloke was not the answer and indeed the word declares a women to remain single or reconcile in the event of divorce.
---Carla3939 on 4/13/09

Now if you had put it they way you posted 4/9/09 I would never had read that you were being fictitious but indeed after re reading your post and my questioning you, I hope you realise that it is how you say something and how you address it that can make a big difference in how someone receives your comments.

T hats fine people make mistakes but like I said you were being hypocritical recognising that I indeed did not refer to you on this occasions you never apologised(innuendos) Me thinks you made a mistake remember that one! I know how / not to approach you if indeed I ever do in the future.
---Carla3939 on 4/12/09

Carla ... the answer to your first question is yes

The rest of your post is irrelvant.

You say the poor woman who is the subject of the question and who has traumaticelly been betrayed by her husband ... you say her singleness is a blessing.

How can you say that to her, when you would not regard it as a blessing for yourself?

And why do you say " ... REAL Enemy of the cross who is the Devil ... Not Carla"

Has someone suggested you are the enemy of the cross?
---alan8566_of_UK on 4/11/09


Are you saved?

Being of age In Christ, you should know what type of spiritual food to feed Gods children, If you hold a position in church even sitting in the congrgation you are an elder and should by now have progressed to a poistion of stability and strentgh.

However I do not see this in your behaviour but that of one that likes to stir up unnecessary commotion, which is sad because your lobby group need stability, maturity, and most of all real( not head but) knowledge and to have experienced God, so that eyes ears are open to the word of God and can clearly discern the REAL Enemy of the cross who is the Devil,

Not CarlaX

---Carla3939 on 4/11/09

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Carla ... Your question makes no sense. Mine of 9/4 provided no accusations about you addressing me as a widow (or indeed widower, for that is what I am) (If you are thinking of earlier posts, please refer to the last paragraph of mine 4/8)

The point, Carla, (which Observer seems to have spotted) is that originally you said to the questioner that being single (even after the heartrending breakdown of his friend's marriage) is a blessing.

And yet you appear to say that such a condition for yourself would be curse.

My mention of me being a widower was to say how terrible that is, and that to be divorced must be even worse.
---alan8566_of_UK on 4/10/09

Carla3939 I nailed no one to a cross. You labeled yourself in your profile. I was sincere in saying I'm sorry. I now realize you really can't be talked to,so be it.
---Darlene_1 on 4/10/09


Why don't you ask Alan since he suggested that I was!

Why did you use the name Observer?
---Carla3939 on 4/10/09

Darlene 1

I'm pleased you found someone to nail to your cross but the saviour came died and rose and lives!

Thank you Jesus, If your looking for someone to fight the devil is a better candidate!

God bless

---Carla3939 on 4/10/09

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why have you not until now provided the accusations of me addressing you being a widow?
---Carla3939 on 4/10/09

Carla3939 I'm not the one playing blind but I am wondering about you. I read your profile and noticed you think you are below average in intelligence. Although I don't get that impression of you in reading your profile or on the Blogs. If you truely are below average in intelligence then perhaps I have asked too much of you in trying to get you to see you are responsible for all of this. If you're below average maybe you aren't capable of seeing the truth of what you have done. It is obvious you blame everyone else. In the case you really are below average and can't comprehend your part in all of this,I want to say I am sincerely sorry for asking you to take responsibility for your harsh words,if you aren't mentally able then I asked too much.
---Darlene_1 on 4/10/09

This is a day of remembering the cross not looking for someone to nail to it. When I spoke to Joshua I spoke according to the word when Paul said:

A woman is to remain unmarried or reconcile. Now was Paul inconsiderate? No because he as I know, God provides a Peace that surpasses all understanding, he is the calm after a storm, he exchanges joy after sadness and if you don't know it.....Get to know him because there is nothing in the whole wide world you cannot ask for and if it be a need that he will not supply it according to his riches in glory.

No one can take away what Paul wrote, you can argue with it But You cannot delete it.
---Carla3939 on 4/10/09

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