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Spare The Rod Spoiled Kid

Why does it say spare the rod spoil the child?

Moderator - Because kids respond properly to the rod. If you don't discipline a kid, most will grow up out of control. If a parent loves their children, they will discipline them.

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 ---louise on 4/19/09
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Deut 6:6-7
In 6 my lord is teaching his children,to teach all their children the same way and things.

Eph 6:4 (but, before that!)
Eph 6:1 Children, obey your parents (in the Lord):for this is right.

Col 3:21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
Then you hit a child or anyone do you think it anger them?

1Ti 3:4 more important is
1Ti 3:5 (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)
Are these things not so?

And there are several dozen verses about loving your neighbors (as thy self)
Because living a Christian life is a 24/7 lifestyle (for some it is life.)
MayGod BlessYou
---TheSeg on 5/4/09

Deut 6:6-7
In 4-5 my lord is teaching his children, to teach all their children the same thing.

Eph 6:4 (but, before that!)
Eph 6:1 Children, obey your parents (in the Lord): for this is right.

Col 3:21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
Then you hit a child or anyone do you think it anger them?

1Ti 3:4 more important is
1Ti 3:5 (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)
Are these things not so?

And there are several dozen verses about loving your neighbors (as thy self)
Because living a Christian life is a 24/7 lifestyle (for some it is life.)
MayGod BlessYou
---TheSeg on 5/4/09

What is your definition of "the rod"?

Does Mod mean that to discipline kids we have to apply a physical rod, & beat our children?
---alan8566_of_UK on 5/4/09

Steveng, in your world do violent people and child abusers not have children? Unfortunately, many chidren are abused and most abusers are their own family. In Japan it is usually the child's mother. Sometimes mothers murder their children. We all have a duty to look out for all children. Maybe your attitude explains why there are so many disappearances of children in America. They just grab a child, violate them, and nobody intervenes. People are scared in case it is a parent. This is a bad attitude to have. Parents and strangers should all be kind to children. Beat your child up, and the first person is 'nice' to him or her, will be trusted. Or they'll only marry abusers, as abusers make them feel 'safe'.
---frances008 on 5/3/09

Christ said "turn the other cheek" in referring to dealing with peers, not with a child (as a parent). Not every child needs physical dicipline. However, I know many parents claim their children are doing just fine without discpline, but my life experience and also having worked at schools is that the kids who get the least discipline at home or the least consistent displine are those that are the biggest physical and emotional bullies and biggest behavioral problems. Eventually good peer pressure and some consistency of displine at school turns most of these kids around. No thanks to the parent! As fewer parents displine, its becoming almost impossible to turn kids around.
---sophia on 5/3/09

There is a huge difference between raising a child by parents only and caring for your neighbors.

There are several verses where the raising of your child is by the parents only: Deut 6:6-7, Eph 6:4, Col 3:21, 1Tim 3:4 (this one is important because if there are too many "parents" who does the child obey as a parent?)

And there are several dozen verses about loving your neighbors: do an online KJV bible search for "one another," "each other," and "encourag" because living a christian life is a 24/7 lifetyle - not a once a week pep talk dished out by denominational "churches."
---Steveng on 5/3/09

Yes Steveng
I heard something like that before. Here it is.
Gen 4:9 And the LORD said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother? And he said, I know not: Am I my brother's keeper?

Why should I care for my brother?

Luke 10:29 But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbour?

Why is hitting even looked at as answer! It is the way of your father.
It is a fast and wrong answer. What does it teach?
Hitting begets hitting, just as violence begets violence.

There is only one God, as there is only one family.
Is this not, the word of God?
---TheSeg on 5/2/09

frances008: "I believe that the whole community is responsible for bringing up and protecting children."

I live in an Asian community where 95% of the Asians are Buddhists (a very challenging cumminity in America to do God's work). I surely would not want my children being raised by a community of Buddhists. Most cities in America have their own little communities that are not very God friendly.

Parents, according to God's word, are solely responsible for the raising of their children.
---Steveng on 5/1/09

Sue, thanks for you words of support and agreement. Yes, in Japan we let our children go to parks on their own aged 8 plus. It is quite safe because the culture is safer. There is very low crime, the police ride on bicycles, private security men in uniforms patrol on bikes. The locals fish in ponds and lakes. Families are always around, and there are no areas where perverts could hide for more than a few minutes...and you would warn your children not to go to those places. Children of 6 go to Tokyo to school on commuter trains, by themselves. It is a very homogenous society, which may account for it.
---frances008 on 4/28/09

Francis, I agree. When I was a kid (many years ago!) people could let their kids play outside all day and expect them to be safe and cared for. The neighbors all watched out for the kids. No adult ever ever hit a child. They would talk to us if we were being bad, or send us home.
No way could parents let their children play outside all day now a days, unless you were with them. It just isn't the same, neighbors are differant today.
---sue on 4/28/09

When a child is hit it is usually because an adult is out of control of his/her temper, and or has issues as someone said before. I think they like to be in control of others. It is not a healthy environment for children. Children should have freedom within protection. People should all look out for everyone's kids whether they are with their parents or not. Look out for does not mean tell them off for playing noisily in the street and disturbing your precious television time, or having you worry that your car will be hit with a bouncing ball. Look out for means to make sure no pervert is hiding or openly getting ready to pounce on them.
---frances008 on 4/28/09

First of all the Bible does not say to abuse your child. It does not say to beat them to a bloody pulp... and remember in those times they still hung men from crosses as punishment!! The Bible is saying that children need to be diciplined. They need to be taught that their are consequences for their actions and for their behavior. If parents do choose to dicipline their children physically then there are rules - for instance never strike your child out of anger - or with any object that can really hurt them - and always explain to your child why your choosing to do this so they understand that they are being punished not hit because you dont love them.... i believe it is just as productive to talk to your child and punish them in other ways.
---eve on 4/27/09

The world is so perverted these days. If a child was being beaten up in a parking lot by its parent, and someone gave the adult what for, the police would probably take the intervening adult to jail, and just ignore the parent's abuse. It's all down to black is white and white is black these days.
---frances008 on 4/27/09

preston- God did not say spare the rod, spoil the child. A man did. Jesus said if our enemies hit us on one cheek, don't strike back, but turn the other cheek to them. Would He expect us to hit children if He didn't want us to hit our enemies who had done us wrong? No. Would we be commanded by the Lord not to hit a grown person who slaps us in the face, yet be expected to hit children? No. Jesus said whosoever offends one of these little ones, it would be better for him if he had a millstone tied around his neck and was thrown into the ocean.
---Betty on 4/27/09

Well said, Frances!
---alan8566_of_UK on 4/27/09

I believe that the whole community is responsible for bringing up and protecting children. Would you consider it okay to beat up your 45 year old neighbour with a stick because he had done something you disliked? Would you use a rod on someone else's child? Of course not. It's illegal and for good reason. If a child is abused by a parent there are phone numbers which should be posted in all shops at child level for them to phone to get removed from the perverts who are responsible. So if you saw a person taking a stick to a child in the street, I think you would be correct to get a policeman to come and intervene, or intervene yourself. Also slapping violently. The least you can do is rebuke the adult.
---frances008 on 4/27/09

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Preston, Then WHY do I love my kids? I didn't beat them with a 'rod'. Never! And they are good people today, Christains who are bringing THEIR children up to love God.

I spared the rod and I dont hate my kids.
---sue on 4/27/09

There are people on this site who say they often hit their children/grandchildren, that it works and that the victims love them and respect them.

If it worked you would not have to do it more than once. So it obviously does not work. Hitting with the hand I could forgive, but with a stick (What?) no ! the people beating their children with sticks or rods ought to be in jail. They are child abusers not parents. The same people that psychologically abuse others and use ad hominum attacks are the people who bully children with sticks and rods. They are just bullies, period.
---frances008 on 4/27/09

Mat 12:17 That it might be fulfilled which was spoken by Esaias the prophet, saying, Behold my servant, whom I have chosen, my beloved, in whom my soul is well pleased: I will put my spirit upon him, and he shall shew judgment to the Gentiles.

He shall not strive, nor cry, neither shall any man hear his voice in the streets. A bruised reed shall he not break, and smoking flax shall he not quench, till he send forth judgment unto victory.

Is this not clear?
---TheSeg on 4/26/09


Why do you suppose he made the whip? Idle threat?

John 2:15, "And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple, and the sheep, and the oxen, and poured out the changers' money, and overthrew the tables,"
---Bruce5656 on 4/26/09

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The Shepard "guides" the sheep with the rod. He does not beat him with it. Jesus never beat any one. He got angry with the merchants at the temple but he still didn't beat anybody!
---cindy on 4/26/09

People,people we are to give our entire lives to Christ.This means to throw ourselves on him and be broken volentarily if not he will crush us to powder.Giving and doing all of this means to give our families to him also as he wishes,he says if you spare the rod you hate your child,and if you beat them(give a licken),you could be saving them from Hell.The true Word of God never says not to hit them(not that I recall).This is not a democracy faith is a law in its self ie."the Law of Faith".Think people,he bears not the sword in vain.You can be grafted out of the olive tree think on these things a wise man hears both sides of the argument.
---Preston on 4/26/09

Seg- Good observations. Patience does work.
---Betty on 4/24/09

Even my (terrible) two year old grandson, Mike, responds to talking rather than hitting. When he does something wrong I stoop down to his level, look him in the eye and tell him NO, dont do that because.......and I tell him why its wrong in as few words as I can.
Sometimes I ask him to say he's sorry. Believe me, this way works!
If I hit him, then explained why I dont think he'd listen as well. For one thing, he'd be crying.
---sue on 4/24/09

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WHICH posts lead you to believe that parents here are "hateful abusers" in the name of Christ? Or, worded another way... what have people posted that causes you to label them "hateful abusers"?
---Donna66 on 4/23/09

The "no spanking" experiment has failed.

Since after World War Two, many psychiatrists, educators, and children development "experts" have been telling parents not to spank their children. Now, take a look at the trend - spanking became less over the years, but the behavior of our children has gotten worse.

Using a thin switch on the child's skin has a wallop of a sting well remembered by the child. Using the hand or a wooden spoon is a blunt object causing little pain. If it did cause pain, you could have broken a lot more than you bargained for.
---Steveng on 4/23/09

All this modern drivel that spanking will warp a child has created a generation of wimpish, bedwetting, liberal girly-men!

Except many beat their kids claiming they do it in name of christianity ...either insipid unable to see the difference or use christianity as their excuse to beat their children like animals

spankings are a few quick swats to YOUNG children not beatings where children are wetting themselves living in fear

by posts most parents are just hateful abusers "in the name of a christ"
---Rhonda on 4/22/09

The other Donna wrote of being beaten with a strap as a child and how she's been years in the healing (psycologically).

I was "spanked" with the open palm on my (not BARE) bottom. It hurt, but never for more than a minute and it never left a mark. Sometimes the dread of a spanking was worse than the spanking itself.

As an adult I've been grateful for it. It set an undeniable limit on my behavior. I was almost always warned ahead and not spanked in anger. It was a very deliberate punishment that came with a full and patient explanation of my offense. Usually, I cried. But the tears seemed to clear the air somehow and I felt better afterward.

Corporal punishment is not always the same as "beating"
---Donna66 on 4/22/09

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If you hit your kid in America with a foreign object (rod) then you will most likely go to jail, it is that simple. My wife is a school teacher and by law must report ANY time a student says that they were beaten by their parents for ANY reason.
Discipline is fine, correction is fine, but hitting with a foreign object is abuse and will be treated as such by the law.
---TIMOTHY on 4/22/09

Jerry: as opposed to 'big, dumb, hairy, beastly, cave manly men men'? lol.
---sue on 4/22/09

All this modern drivel that spanking will warp a child has created a generation of wimpish, bedwetting, liberal girly-men!
---jerry6593 on 4/21/09

A rod is also a staff, it how you look at it!
I would say it also depend on what you use it for!
I remember someone hitting only a rock with it, for some water.
And God told him, for this you will not enter the land, but I will let you look at it!

What would he do if you hit one of his children with it?
I know, you will say, you told me I could, right!
Just like Adam say, the woman you give me!
Come on, wake up. Stop the nonsense!
Discipline with patience, it works!
---TheSeg on 4/20/09

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To Whosoever Has An Ear To Hear?

"Spare the rod spoil the Child" isn't Biblical. It was conjured-up by the world, to falsely justify their physical disciplining.

Pro.23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.

The Rod or Staff are the "Strength of God's Corrective Word" and He desires us to not withhold it from our children.

We're to train our children with it, so they don't depart from it(the 'Way' of the Lord) and by humility & Fear of the Lord, they shall not go the way of the froward!! Pro.22:4-6

-*-*-Katavasia, I Believe it could have been my post you read but the important things is you remember. Peace Always & God Bless
---Shawn_M.T. on 4/20/09

The "rod" is discipline. The word itself means many things to many people. Some may imagine a "switch" or small very thin branch like a willow branch while others may imagine a solid stick like a dowel. Any discussion about what is appropriate as far as the use of a "rod" goes is going to be misinterpreted by someone since there is no agreement or standard as to what a "rod" is.

If you substitute the word discipline for rod, ie. spare the discipline and spoil the child, I believe you will have the full intent of what is being said in this passage.
---Bruce5656 on 4/20/09


Chastening should only be given to children for the same reason that God gives it to us, for disobedience. No other reason.

I see so many parents applying the rod incorrectly, even in the House of the Lord.

For example, if a child gets the milk out and spills it on the floor, that is an accident and should not be punished. However, if the child had been previously told not to get the milk out and did anyway, that is disobedience and that should be punished.
---Mark_Eaton on 4/20/09

This scripture is often taken out of context and people beat their kid with a rod thinking this is what this scripture means.

I was beat with a black strap when I was six years old to 13 years old and I am still healing from the reprocussions of that.

NEVER NEVER beat a child with a rod. The Lord DISCIPLINES those whom he loves - he does not beat them up.

I see others have given the meaning of the scripture, and I just wanted to add my two cents here.
---donna8365 on 4/20/09

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What sort of offense deserves the rod?
A few years ao omeone here said that the rod should be applied for things such as failing to get top marks at school, & coming down to a meal a few minutes late,
---alan8566_of_UK on 4/20/09

"Why does it say spare the rod spoil the child?"
Because "Foolishness [is] bound in the heart of a child, [but] the rod of correction shall drive it far from him." A parent must "Chasten [his] son while there is hope, and let not [his] soul spare for his crying." For "He that spares his rod hates his son: but he that loves him chastens him betimes, withhold not correction from the child: for [if] you beat him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell." For "The rod and reproof gives wisdom: but a child left [to himself] brings his mother to shame. Correct your son, and he shall give you rest.." Quotes from the book of Proverbs.
---Josef on 4/20/09

There was a similar thread here not too long ago.

Someone suggested that the "rod" here is similar to the "rod and staff" of Psalm 23.

I wish it had been me.
---katavasia on 4/20/09

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