Lost Virginity Before Marriage
I lost my virginity before I was married, but I married the man that I lost my virginity too. It's been somewhat over a year and I still feel guilty. I prayed for forgiveness but am finding it hard to forgive myself. Do you think that God still wants me?
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---Amanda on 4/29/09
Helpful Blog Vote (18)
Amanda, why is it that you cannot move forward? Let it go. It is in the past. You cannot change the past. What you can do is look forward to the future. Feel guilty for nothing. God has taken care of all that. Live life for the Lord and never let the past take your down. Your past should be a testimony now as to what God is doing in your life and where you came from and how He took you into His arms and loved you.
---MarkV. on 7/13/09|
Amanda- If you repented with your whole heart of that sin & any others He will forgive you.
---Betty on 7/10/09|
Amanda....You haven't committed any kind of sin since then? Do you cling to all your sins this way? God doesn't keep those sins once he has forgiven you. Why should you?
---SusieB on 5/1/09|
Well, Jesus says, "'And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.'" (Mark 11:25) This shows me that God wants us to forgive, in caring prayer for the person. So, if God wants *us* to forgive, then surely He is more willing and better at forgiving, than *we* are. So, we can be assured that God desires to forgive us (o: In prayer, trust God to make you forgiving. And any time you remember someone and still have a problem forgiving him or her, you can do a better job, this time, now that you have grown more (o: We're not perfect, we always need to do better.
---Bill_bila5659 on 4/30/09|
It sounds like you are a product of a very fear based "christian system" of guilt which contradicts all Christ has done
God wants all to receive salvation ...Christ died for sins ...to repent and ask for forgiveness and TURN AWAY from sin is what is required ...this is a life long process ...you will stumble and fall ...you get up dust off repent and move closer to God EACH and EVERY time
...looking for perfection a sinless life will never be achieved by any human except Christ
you are in danger when you continue to sin turning your back on God
You have married ...release the guilt given to you by mortal men and enjoy your husband or else it will destroy your marriage
---Rhonda on 4/29/09|
Read the life story of King David. God never stops wanting people to repent and turn to Him for forgiveness. You are very loved by God. Now you must forgive yourself.
---frances008 on 4/29/09|
God is not your problem. If you have repented, asked for forgiveness, than you have it, based on the Bible. God does not make a person feel guilty - ever. (He may convict and discipline a person but making them feel guilty is not His doing.) That means, it has to be Satan. If he can keep you feeling guilty, than he is keeping you from doing what God wants you to do. The only other person, (besides yourself) and Satan you can make you feel guilty is your husband. Have you talked to him about it? You need too. He may not want you feeling guilty, but he may not know you are feeling guilty. Let me repeat: God loves you, has forgiven you, (if you asked for it) and wants you. Don't limit Him by your feelings of guilt!
---wivv on 4/29/09|
Thanks for all of your replies. As far as asking for forgiveness with my husband, he doesn't really believe that what we did was wrong. He doesn't go by the Bible usually. He believes in God and Jesus, but he doesn't worship Jesus. In the beginning, his beliefs seemed close to mine, but over time they seemed to spread apart.
And I am concerned sometimes about whether or not I have forgiven other people for past sins that they have committed against me. How do you know in your heart when you have truly forgiven someone?
---Amanda on 4/29/09|
We humans are the ones who can be limited in our love, so that we can stop wanting someone because the person has done something we don't like. But God is not limited, like this. Have you given yourself to Him? Have you gotten started with God, by trusting in Jesus and submitting to Him? He takes away guilt when we give ourselves to Him and submit to how He pleases to take care of us, submitting to Him in His peace. If guilt stays, this can be because we have not been forgiving others the way God wants. And Satan can keep guilt coming, in order to keep you worried about this, so you don't deal with what God is much more concerned about.
---Bill_bila5659 on 4/29/09|
Amanda: Do not let this guilt ruin your marriage or your life. Go get some counseling as this is obviously a major issue for you. God has already forgiven you so you need to figure out how to forgive yourself, or your new husband, or God, or whomever you feel you need to forgive. You need to find a way to get over this one and move on, consult a good Christian Counselor.
---TIMOTHY on 4/29/09|
If you sincerely ask God for forgiveness as a child of God he forgives you. The issue is forgiving yourself and not letting your past come back to shake your faith. I too was in your shoes and lost my virginity before marriage, and unfortunately lost it to someone whom did not cherish what was shared between us. Fortunately God brought to my life a wonderful wife who forgave me for my past transgressions and we have a wonderful family that God has blessed us with. There are still times when my mind goes back to my past and I question how God could possibly forgive me, but that's human nature not God nature. God will always Love and want you.
---Todd on 4/29/09|
This very thing happened to my wife and I and it bothered both of us for more than 20 years. Hear is how we finally brought this condemnation to an end. The 2 of us got together and prayed together about it, both asking the Lord to forgive us. We made up our minds that the Lord would do this and he did. I'm sure he did way before already but we just didn't seem to accept it until we did it as a team. Do it and accept his word that says he will forgive.
---john on 4/29/09|
One more thing I noticed as the years went by is that many people considered the child illegitimate. Even the child grew up thinking she was until one day God showed me in his word that illegitimate is those who are born outside wedlock, not those who are concieved outside wedlock. My wife and I also asked our daughter, after she grew old enough, to forgive us also and she graciously did. This is 38 years ago and we are a very happy family to this day, praise the Lord.
---john on 4/29/09|
God still wants you. He loves you. He sent His Son to die for you. Read 1 John 1:9 then do 1 John 1:7 Are you a Christian? If not that is the first step to real forgivness. Read Romans 3:23 6:23 John 3:16 Eph 5:7-10 Eph 2:8-10 God forgives all sin we need to accept His forgivness and the show it to the world. All things work to the good for those who love the Lord. Understand God forgives and He sets us free. Tell it out loud I am Free I am Free Thank you Lord I am Free!!!! Praise Him and see what glories He has for you to do. Guilt only comes from sin and you know who trying to keep us down. Repent and be free.
Jesus Loves you. accept his love and forgivness and take it in and live a life pleasing to God. that is free and forgiven.
---Glenn on 4/29/09|
Donna's post has great wisdom and is correct.
---mima on 4/29/09|
Thanks to God because you married him. If you could have married some one then you have committed a sin
---Anna_Gune on 4/29/09|
Yes of course God still wants you. You are his daughter, Sons of God. Did you repent?
The bible tells us in 1st John 1:9, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
"Father in the name of Jesus, I come before your throne to receive grace, mercy and forgiveness for my sins of (name sin).
I ask you to forgive me and cleanse me from all unrighteousness for I am truly sorry and I deeply repent of my sin in Jesus name I pray.
God judges by the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Your outward action is forgiven once you repent and confess it and ask God to forgive you - He will.
---donna8365 on 4/29/09|