I Recently Had An Abortion
I'm having an affair with a well known minister. We are both married but I'm separated. I am tortured by my choices and wonder if I should expose the truth. I just can't keep living this lie. Three months ago I had an abortion for medical reasons, but I want to try again, or so I think.
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---Stacy_J. on 6/23/09
Helpful Blog Vote (2)
1 John 1:9 says "if we confess our sin, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us of all unrughteous." If you repent and turn from your sins, God will forgive you and it does not matter what anyone else thinks, feels or says.
Someone wrote that God may not forgive you next time..there may be more severe consequences next time, and there may be some consequences to come for these sins, but if you are a born again believer meaning you have confessed, accepted, and have believed on Jesus Christ...all of your sins, past present and future have been paid for with the blood of Jesus.
(cont'd next post)
---Carl on 7/19/09|
cont'd from previous post
Some don't want to let you off that easy, but they were or can be acquitted of their sins the same way. Jesus said himself, he without sin cast the first stone. He also told the woman caught in adultry - Go and sin no more.
May God bless and keep you.
---Carl on 7/19/09|
So where do we go from here? Are we done? If I was this woman I would be done reading these unhelpful and contentious answers.
---Blessed on 7/17/09|
alan- 7-8-09 willow became defensive for stacy & challenged other posters, saying we were accusing & judging. She accused me & some others of being wolves - for saying abortion is murder & that s. committed adultery.(7-10) She also keeps accusing me of sin, just because I call adultery adultery & murder murder. She seems to take it personally. (7-12) willow, who doesn't even know me, said I need to stop pointing out the faults of others & that I have too many myself. She first attacked my character, then accused me of attacking hers first (7-14). She tries to make me appear as a villainess so she can make sins look good.
---Betty on 7/16/09|
Betty ... You say "Yet willow wants to gloss over the sin of murder and adultery & try to make stacy feel like she didn't do anything worse than get a speeding ticket"
I cannot see anything in what Willow has said where which could lead you to make such a statement as that.
---alan8566_of_uk on 7/15/09|
blessed?- The focus has been on her, and others like her. Yet willow wants to gloss over the sin of murder and adultery & try to make stacy feel like she didn't do anything worse than get a speeding ticket. I think that's what you have in mind, too. Make her feel good for committing adultery & killing a baby. God might forgive her this time, but He might not forgive her a second time.
---Betty on 7/15/09|
Willow and Betty,
I can't see where your responces to each other are helpful to this confused and hurting woman.
She asked for help and I hope that she has been able to receive Godly instruction and compassion.
Shall we focus on her again?
---Blessed on 7/14/09|
Are All your posts done in the Love of Christ?
---willow on 7/14/09|
willow- I already knew what lol meant-it just looks stupid. The first sentence of your post looks strange to me-why don't you read it backwards. I proved with Biblical verses that it is right to point out another's faults, that we don't suffer sin upon them. Lev. 19:17, 1Timothy 5:20 "Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear." 2Timothy 4:2 "...reprove, rebuke, exhort...." Those verses are straight from the Bible-how did I twist them? I didn't. What enemies have I tried to scare? My gall?-No, your gall. If quoting Bible verses makes people cower at me, they need to realize that I did not write the Bible-it is the Inspired Word Of God.
---Betty on 7/14/09|
1st of all I do have a speech impedment I studder by your words condemn yourself.
I do forgive you.
LOL means Laugh Out Loud.
2nd I take sin and GODs word Very seriously however you I don't take seriuosly. Why? you twist GODs word to serve your own selfish purpose to belittle others and glorify yourself to try to scare your enemies so they will cower at yousee how great you are.
3rd since you have showed your hand by a full out attack of my character. I will show you mine. Stacie J is no longer the focus of you gall. I am and that is what I needed to do.
---willow on 7/14/09|
Speaking of myself!
Do I want to sin? No! Do I sin? Yes!
Have I tried to stop sinning? Yes!
Do I continue to sin? Yes!
So, now what would you have me do?
Keep kicking myself, until I stop sinning?
I have done this, all I find is it makes me weaker.
Now, this is not easily accepted! But, I have to admit to myself, I am sinful!
Not that I go out of by way to sin. But, I do!
Now, knowing the law, in Christ! Know, with no doubt, I am guilty of all!
Some want to make this, guilty of all, a trivial matter. I cant!
Now, what name should I call you, before me?
These words are true and clear!
---TheSeg on 7/13/09|
First let me say that you should stop having the affair. It doesn't matter that your separated your still married. You should confess your sin in public and ask for forgiveness. Second the minister should resign his position. If you do divorce you will have to remain single because you are an adulteress. Third abortion no matter the reason is murder and you will have to suffer the consequence of that action. No I don't believe you deserve to have children.
---Jon on 7/13/09|
willow- You don't even know me, so you don't know if I'm full of sin or not. 2 Timothy 4:2 "...reprove, rebuke, exhort." 1Timothy 5:20 "Them that sin, rebuke before all, that others also may fear." Leviticus 19:17 "...thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbor, and not suffer sin upon him." You wouldn't know the Truth if Truth slapped you in the face, would you? Your zeal for sin has eaten you up, hasn't it? You don't want anybody to realize their sin, you want them to smile and keep going, don't you. You are not acting like a Christian. You are acting like a fine sinner who loves sin.
---Betty on 7/13/09|
willow- lol makes me think someone has a speech defect.
---Betty on 7/13/09|
you are funny! cant answer my questions because you are afraid lol
1 timothy 2:11-15
11 Let a woman learn in silence with all submission. 12 And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression. 15 Nevertheless she will be saved in childbearing if they continue in faith, love, and holiness, with self-control.
you need to stop tring to point out others faults esp when you have way to many yourself.
---willow on 7/12/09|
willow- Prancing your sins around & bragging on them in order to help others is not Biblical, but this is: 2Timothy 4:2 "Preach the word: be instant in season, out of season: reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine." 1Timothy 5:20 "Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear." Leviticus 19:17 "Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart: thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbor, and not suffer sin upon him." You seem to promote the false doctrine of 'I'm ok, you're ok'.
---Betty on 7/12/09|
Althoough you are separated from your husband, he is still your husband.
You seem to have had a pregnancy by a man who is married to another woman.
You have had that child aborted.
Now you want to try again for a child, with that man who is married to someone else.
What will that do to his marriage, to his wife and to their children?
You say you want to "expose the truth" What do you mean by that? "I sinned"? "That man betrayed his wife"? Or, "I want everyone to know that I am going to have that man"?
---alan8566_of_uk on 7/12/09|
It will soon be illegal to even talk about Chrstianity. Already telling people that they are doing wrong is taboo. It is all lovey dovey, do what you like dear, you'll find out when it's too late, dear, kind of thing. That is being a loving person. Letting someone deceive themselves that it's okay to keep sinning. If someone is going blindly towards a cliff, you may as well guide them right over the edge, mightn't you?
---frances008 on 7/12/09|
I find it amazing that you would post such a subject. Surely you know if you leave the relationship and repent you have done what God requires.
If you choose to go on I can't help but think God will expose everything that has happened. He will not be mocked.
Exposing the truth yourself would be so hurtful to his ministry, family and yours too.
Please let us know what happens
---Blessed on 7/11/09|
Forgive me. But, Willow in what he wrote to you is right. I dont see him as judging you. You are judging yourself, in your words. You like so many, think you have not killed I would have you think again. You have killed, and do kill! But, you dont want to look at that, do you! All have sin, this means you, me all of us.
Know these are your words!
Yes, get it right!
Mat 23:23 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone.
Forgiveness and love!
---TheSeg on 7/11/09|
I don't judge Betty I am not Father
but I do and will always challenge anyone who would use words and scripture out of context to hurt out of a spirit of self-righteousness.
Stacy admits her sin and you and others seem like wolves waiting for the weak so you can kill.I have been down the same road you are now trying to live out the Law and pointing the finger because to point the finger at another is easier than pointing a finger at yourself.
oh by the way betty
Do you sin? (I do)
Do you ever fail in living out the law? (I can't do it my flesh rebels. Thank GOD for Jesus.)
---willow on 7/10/09|
I love Jesus,with a passion I would die for him. I love his word. I have been shot at and beaten for His glory and I love the one to did it.
let the Love of GOd fix your heart, first and you will see Grace and peace.
I said it before and I will say it again betty I love you in Christ, and pray for your peace and Joy .
---willow on 7/10/09|
willow- Are you judging, willow? Yes. Then you turn around & judge the rest of us.
---Betty on 7/10/09|
thank you for your honesty this mistake must hurt you deeply.
it refreshing to see some who will admit sin instead self righteously tring to hide their own brokenness by pointing out the sin of others just to makes themseves feel better about their own secreat sins.
you need to break it off and tell your husband and risk his reaction.
May GOD bless you
Question to all of you who sit in GOds judgement seat of this woman.
Who made you accuser and judge?
---willow on 7/8/09|
Stacy: You must be one of those New Covenant Christians that believes those Old Testament Commandments against adultery and murder don't apply to you. I'll bet you once "got saved," right?
---jerry6593 on 6/27/09|
First of all cluny if you want to respond to me about another blog, please direct it in that blog setting, and I did not say it, the BIBLE said it, and I don't know whether i am one of the saved other than that the bible corrects me when i falter and I know when my heart is walking with god because I have a peace. I also know that I do all that god ask me too and if I falter i repent of that sin, and beg for god's mercy.
---metuschelah on 6/27/09|
There is no good reason for having an abortion. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Thou shalt not kill. Pregnant women need to get right with God & He'll see them safely through. Don't murder babies or anybody else.
---Betty on 6/25/09|
Stacy J, if you love this man, do you REALLY want to bring pain to innocent people in his life--such as his wife and children?
Your desire to "expose the truth" is nothing more than selfish grasping.
And if you were both married, what did you mean by having an affair with him. You BOTH knew better.
metuschelah--I suppose that YOU are totally sinless yourself. How do you know that YOU are among the 1/3 of your congregation whom you consider "really saved" and not among the less sanctified 2/3?
---Cluny on 6/24/09|
Sorry to be so blunt but what do you expect when you are living a life of sin. I assume the baby was for the minister with which you are commiting adultery. I know sometimes we go through tribulations because of our sins like david and bathsheba did when they lost their first child as a result of their sins. I am telling you straight up what i think because i love you but you need to stop your affair with the minister and repent, get closer to God's word because it seems like you wouldn't know God or God-like attributes if it hit you in the face.
---metuschelah on 6/24/09|
For your own sake, please expose the situation, but tackfully. For example: write down what you are going to say, and to whom you are going to say it. Stay focused on the topic and don't go, "chasing rabbits", which you can avoid by writting down, in script form, what you plan on saying. Also be prepared for any negative reaction. The Lord is very forgiving, but people are not always that way - even Christians. As far as having an abortion, and wanting to get pregnant again, it really depends on why you had to have an abortion. A number of folks I know have had become pregnant after an abortion, but they were not for medical reasons. You need to consult with an OB-GYN doctor to find out if you are able to carry to term a fetus.
---wivv on 6/24/09|
I agree with Bill and Donna.
God is very compassionate and merciful. When you go to Him with your pain of the separation from this pastor, He will have compassion on you, if you come to Him acknowledging your sins and asking His forgiveness.
Ps34:18 The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart,
and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
Ps51:17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit:
a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.
1Pe5:7 Casting all your care upon him, for he careth for you.
Concerning the pastor, when you really love someone...you do not kill them.
This sin, if not put away, will kill both of you.
If you love him, do not see or speak to him again.
---SuzieH on 6/23/09|
I bet this well known minister preaches Once Saved Always Saved. I have no real problem with the idea, but most people are deceived into thinking they are saved, and have affairs deliberately going against the Bible. They sin and teach others it's okay to sin. Their end is where there will be much weeping and gnashing of teeth. Then the Lake of Fire.
---frances008 on 6/23/09|
You had an abortion but you want to "try again"? Please don't!
Your child will suffer in the end.
You are right. You can't keep living a lie. The torture you feel now will not leave. It will get worse the longer you keep this affair hidden.
Pro 28:13 He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.
Seek out some mature Bible-believing women (not from the pastor's church) and ask their advice and prayer.
Jam 5:16 Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and wonderful results.
Then ask God to forgive you and guide you out of this entanglement.
---Donna66 on 6/23/09|
It doesn't matter how well-known a minister in adultery is. 1 Timothy 3:1-10 > at this point, he is not qualified to be a pastor. Number one is to simply get clear of him. First, though, you need to get with God in prayer so He is sharing with you His creativity and confidence for what to do, so you will be perfectly satisfied you are doing what He will be pleased with. Get clear, like this, with God > "casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7) And first is how to please God, not only to solve your problem. The "Our Father" starts with attention to God, not to "our sins". Find the people who will help you to do this. Do this together as one so you discover real love in the process.
---Bill_bila5659 on 6/23/09|
please break off this relationship
if you are thinking about taking over the minister's marriage as i sense in your text... you better forget it!!!!
go back and work out your own marriage and stop spying on and envying another's own
---patie3447 on 6/23/09|
IF what you say is really true, you'd better forsake sin, repent & call on God for forgiveness. Two great sins you committed: ADULTERY AND MURDER. What do you mean, you want to try again? More sin? I suggest you humble yourself before the LORD and confess your sins to Him. Don't keep sinning.
---Betty on 6/23/09|
You should expose the truth and get out of this horrible affair that will destroy lives. I can't understand how you can be a Christian and be doing this kind of behaviour. Repent and get out of this now.
---john on 6/23/09|
Expose the truth, which would be CONFESSING the sin. Then ask for FORGIVENESS. It would probably help if you had other people pray with you. You need support in your situation. If you don't belong to a church, I would pray for God to lead you to one.
---Augie on 6/23/09|