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Divorce To Repent

My wife thinks she is an adultress marriage because my first wife committed adultrey and I filed the papers four times to try to get a divorce from her. I started a relationship with my wife, before the divorce papers were submitted. A divorce from me is her way to repent.

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 ---Rick_Lambert on 7/29/09
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It is not a sin to marry a divorced person if they were biblically divorced. You and your wife have a lawful marriage.

Matt 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
---Christian_Sister on 10/29/18

why would we have to live with love . I been marriage 5 time's and my 5 wife pass away 9 mo's ago. doe's that mean I have to live without love from a woman. for all my life.
---david3648 on 6/4/18

The bible is clear that remarriage is ongoing adultery, and must terminate. Divorced persons must remain single or reconcile. Herod and Herodias, both divorced, were in UNLAWFUL remarriage. When apostles asked for clarification, Jesus didn't say to remarry then repent and continue in sin. People falsely believe they can be forgiven simply by "confessing". Faithful spouses praying for restoration are betrayed by false preaching that their covenant spouse must remain in adulterous remarriage after "confessing" it as sin. It is NOT sinful to forsake sin. Christians who do not believe Jesus, or teach cheap grace that encourages sin, are not true believers - they'll cry "Lord, Lord" on judgement day but be banished.
---M on 7/10/17

Carla - 1Cor 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such [cases]: but God hath called us to peace.

While some would interpret this verse to permit the believer to re-marry, it really do not specify that.

The problem is the Bible while permitting divorce under certain circumstances, nowhere permits or forbids re-marriage. And that is why, I believe such things are left to the church to decide these cases since each can be different.

It is interesting that some denominations today simply have rules that permit annulments - they have literature that says a marriage was not legitimate in the first place. Such is the case in my wife's native country, the Philippines.
---Lee on 8/14/09

If you read the scriptures where the Paul gives
instruction on allowing the unbelieving to depart, the union is unequal and therefore is suggests that he must be able to leave for peace sake, okay my words if you think about it he is not saved he is without Christ and is judged already in his sins

Jhn 16:11
Of judgment, because the prince of this world is judged.

1Cr 7:15
But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such [cases]: but God hath called us to peace.
---Carla3939 on 8/14/09

Carla -//Now anyone operating outside of the guidelines given are judged already ...

Judged already? by whom? Certainly not by the word of scripture since there is no scripture that states one cannot re-marry, at least for the innocent party.

It is not a compromise to see that the Lord has given His church the authority to mediate matters of this sort as every case can be different. And the church as a whole over the centuries, has permitted re-marriage.

I do agree with that position that the original intent of marriage was intended to be a permanent relationship but God has not joined together all those who went thru the ceremony as they may have married outside of His will.

---Lee on 8/13/09

Betty - it is apparent that Glenn views me as the personification of all he disagrees with. LOL

Obviously he is more governed by his emotions than his intellect and has not learned that other people have other views - some more learned than his.
---Lee1538 on 8/12/09

Please read Lee1538's responses at the following, as well as the applicable entries by other commentators. Please note some hypocrisy when he criticizes others.
Apologetics / Evolution Taught In School 8/1. Darwinism Science Or Religion 8/11.
Christianity / Can A Woman Be A Pastor (75) 5/16, 22, 23, 25, 27, 6/1. Can Women Be Leaders 6/9, 14 (2), 17 (see 6/14), 18, 19. Should A Woman Be President 6/16, 20, 23.
End Times / Heaven Destroyed With Temple on 8/7, 9.
Marriage / Can Women Remarry 8/7. Divorce To Repent 8/6, 11 (2).
Acts 20:29-30, Romans 16:17-18, 1Corinthians 3, 11:16, 14:36-38, 40, 2Corinthians 2:17, 4:2, 11:3, 13:5, Galatians 6:1-8, 2Timothy 3:1-9, 4:2-4, Hebrews 5:13-14, James 3.

---Glenn on 8/12/09


The word speaks for itself being educated cannot change the true gospel message there are scriptural evidence to show that there is a male authority IN CHRIST which God ordained because of sin.

Both should not commit any sin against the other, men are to love their wives there is forgiveness and repentance but if not the man who did not fornicate can REmarry.

A woman is to keep serving the Lord and God will take care of her as he said he will the sparrows, what bible are you reading?

Now anyone operating outside of the guidelines given are judged already and there is no help for those who won't listen you offer compromise there is none either we take counsel or write another gospel.
---Carla3939 on 8/12/09

Yes, carla there are some among us that simply do not want the church to use all available resources to spread the gospel message.

In fact, there is little time left for us to work the fields for the lost before He comes again.

And here you are, hateful of those that would preach the gospel message because of gender.

Hope that both you and Glenn will be able to rise above your narrow bias and erroneous interpretation of Scripture.

It is simply a matter of spiritual growth, I have been able to see that over the past 50 years as a practicing Christian and active Bible distributor.
---Lee1538 on 8/11/09

Couldn't have said that better myself!
---Carla3939 on 8/11/09

glenn- Do you know Lee or something? How do you get all of that out of his comment?
---Betty on 8/11/09

Yes Glenn, it is obvious that you like to demonize anyone that disagrees with you.

But that is ok since having been a practicing Christian for decades, I have grown spiritually and have changed some of my views in light of the teaching ministry of His Holy Spirit.

In fact, I used to be bias against women myself and even believed as you apparently do that only my views were the correct ones and that all others were wrong.

And I can recommend you continue "Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth." 2 Tim. 2:15

For that is probably the only way you will arise above some of your erroneous viewpoints.
---Lee1538 on 8/11/09

1) You write error, *1. 2) You make an ad hominem attack: racist, sexist, Islamist, wife-beater, *1. 3) There is no repentance on your part, *1. 4) You have spite, and look for revenge, *1. 5) Repeat.
*1 Someone corrects you.
You have a dishonest style of writing, are attempting to deceive people, and are insensitive to the Lords direction *2. This behavior is consistent with someone who has spent several years sitting in a church, but not coming to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.
*2 Proverbs 1:7, 21-33 (29), Matthew 7:15-20, Acts 20:30, Romans 1:21-22, 8:5-8, 16:17, 1Corinthians 2:1-16 (14), 8:1-2, 11:16, 14:36-38, 40, 2Corinthians 2:17, 4:2-3, 1Timothy 6:3-5, 2Timothy 3:7-8, 2Peter 3:16.
---Glenn on 8/10/09

Hi, on the softer side, Glenn, I do like the way you described the "delicate clam-shell" ear :) Speaking of which, that delicate ear is very deaf but will be having surgery in the next few months I believe--hallelujah! :) It's the BAHA which implants a conductive device on the skull, am scared and excited at once, it will give me good hearing at last! :)
---Mary on 8/8/09

Glenn, I don't "fight"--I just don't like your attitude towards women--an attitude which comes across loud and clear in most of your blogs. I don't need to repent. But thank you.
---Mary on 8/8/09

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Most of a persons need for satisfaction is to come from a relationship with the Lord. If, as a child, you learned that it is an expression of gratification to fight others, please repent, and ask God to deliver you from this sin. A person becomes a Christian when she accepts Jesus as her Lord and Savior *1. The Lords people are known for their selflessness, and their eagerness to do Gods' will *2. If Satan speaks into your delicate clam shell like ear, don't repeat it to other people.
*1 Psalms 1:6, 6:8, 119:115, Matthew 7:13-23, 1Corinthians 8:3, 2Timothy 2:19, 1John 2:19.
*2 Matthew 22:37-40, Mark 12:28-33, John 10:1-18, 13:34-35, 1John 4:19-21.
---Glenn on 8/7/09

Having heard only your side of the story, and if it is truthful, there are still a few things that you can do.
First, ask each other - is there is another person. Give truthful answers.
Two, start over, as if you both have never had any other relation(s). Repentance means to change direction, i.e. change some of your beliefs about marriage.
Three, love her with a Christ like love, so much so, that it would be difficult to leave you. There are a few women that are like a cracked pot that won't hold oil, but those people are unprepared to form a good marriage.
Four, there are various good books available in a Christian bookstore. Many brothers like the movie "fireproof".
---Glenn on 8/7/09

Good question--seriously. I would love to hear Glenn's answer to this one.
---Mary on 8/7/09

I wonder if he beats his wife on a daily basis because he views her as some kind of inferior dolt.
---Lee1538 on 8/6/09

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Glenn, would you please STOP insulting women?! Calling those of us who are not little tiny mice all the names you do, including "Jezebel women" is certainly not cool! Thank you
---Mary on 8/3/09

Don't give out intimate details that concern only you two, Matthew 18:15, Ephesians 4:17-29, Philippians 3:13, James 5:16. Repentance from a marriage due to a previous divorce is not sensible. It would probably behoove you to look for a congregation that operates in grace as the C.O.C. denomination tends to lack this - Matthew 23:23-24, 2Corinthians 2:6-8, Ephesians 4:31-32, Colossians 3:12-17, 1Peter 3:8-9. You need to prove your fidelity to each other as well as to God, as there is mistrust between you both. Please read the verses marked 3/3 *1 on 7/29. A husbands needs to love his wife, and a wife needs to respect her husband. Neither is optional, nor conditional. But it is difficult to do without the other persons cooperation.
---Glenn on 8/3/09

She sounds like a very moral person and I don't see you getting out of this conundrum anytime soon. I think she is really going to go through with it.

Be more honest with who you see next time.
---amand6348 on 8/2/09

As to your verses, a Christians sins were forgiven at our Saviors death, which was confirmed at his resurrection. The following concerns the unsaved, some of whom desire to continue in their sin, rather than receive Jesus as Lord and Savior: Matthew 5:(28)-30, Acts 3:19-26, 26:20, 1Corinthians 6:9-10 (11 were!), Ephesians 4:17-19 (but read the chapter), 2Peter 2:1-22. I assume that Proverbs 30:20, 23 doesnt apply to your situation. If you both repent of 2Corinthians 12:21, now repent of 12:20.
As to my verses, put these together. Matthew 5:31-32, 19:3-12, Mark 10:2-12, Luke 16:18. Then, please read Matthew 19:9 and 1Corinthians 7:27-28 as they allow the innocent party to remarry. Put away and loosed are synonyms for divorced.
---Glenn on 8/1/09

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For him: as the Lord does, the husband is to take the blame. He is to teach the word to his family, Ephesians 5:25-27. In marriage, someone is always the boss. Properly, it is God, husband, wife, children, Ephesians 5:21, 1Peter 1:14. Yet you need to pour a lot of honey on those cakes, or it tastes dry, Song of Solomon.
For her: God finds a women more useful if she acts like Hadassah-Esther, and not Vashti. It is impossible to let disobedience rule in your relationship with your husband, without affecting your obedience to Jesus, yet Acts 4:19 and 5:29. Please dont listen to the bitter, railing, rebellious, and marriage ruining, Jezebel women, 1Corinthians 5:9-13.
---Glenn on 8/1/09

i pray God sees you through this mess you have created for yourself

i hope when this is over, you remember always that it is divine to find forgiveness in your heart for your loved ones

you divorced your wife for a sin you also fell into even before the divorce was through

forgivenss is the best... lets not be too hard on others... if we can help it

i do not know how your circumstances where but trust God to see you through this... pray and let God speak to you and your wife
all the best
---pat on 7/31/09

Your first wife is your ONLY wife so long as she lives, your "second wife" is just a harlot/mistress/concubine whatever you want to call her but she is not your wife. To repent don't mean you ask god for forgiveness only but to turn from your wickedness, meaning leave your concubine..or else continue into your sin, be like essau who for one morsel of food sold his birthright (Heb 12:16).
---Metuschelah on 7/31/09

Rick, I'm still not getting HOW you came to the conclusion that Baptism is a way to forgiveness.

REPENTENCE is the way to be forgiven. AND the BLOOD OF JESUS cleanses us from all sin, NOT BAPTISM so because your theology is messed up here, I am questionning whether or not you even know what the Word of God says.

You've got yourself in such a mess that ONLY GOD can work this out for you - so pray, pray hard, pray everyday and ask Father God, "Lord, I repent in Jesus name and I ask you to cleanse me by the blood of Jesus, now please show me what to do with my marriage." LET GOD GUIDE YOU HERE.
---anon on 7/31/09

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Mat 19:9
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except [it be] for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

This is the only exception Christ gave. It is so rigid that there is No other clause for putting away,(divorcing) one spouse and that is if she commits sexual Intercourse with someone other than you.

You are not to marry another unless she did.
If you committed sexual relations else where and your wife also, both of you are guilty of Adultery if you remarry.

The clause is for the (man) who finds his wife unfaithful. A woman is encouraged to remain single or reconcile back to her husband.
---Carla3939 on 7/31/09

1/3 (3rd. submission)
If you had a physical relationship with one woman while being married to another, you either committed fornication, or were a bigamist. Living together may be an act of marriage. Practically, the preparation for a Godly relationship is made more difficult for you. However, you need to work on making a good marriage with the wife you have now *1. Both of you can repent of your previous actions, and apologize to each other. Also break the 'soul ties', or longing for other people in past relationships.
Perhaps, you could have considered yourself to be divorced at the submission of the first petition. How did the state become so involved in marriages and divorces, except for prohibiting unlawful relationships.
---Glenn on 7/30/09

My wife believes I have been forgiven because I did get baptized after we got married, but she says we are still in an adultress marriage because she has to repent and the only way for her to repent is to divorce me. There are very few people in the world see her side of things and I have been studying this subject for a little over a month and I can not find anything in the bible says this mariage is wrong. I also believe that my wife has been looking and studying the bible for her escape route of this marriage. I am so torn and ripped over this I have not a clue what to do next or even begin to try to get my wifes eyes to open and study with a open heart.
---Rick_Lambert on 7/30/09


I am a fallen away christian, but my wife still practices. I had some issues with a couple of congregations. NO EXCUSE. Why do some people feel that 1 Corinthians 7:15 as a loophole to get out of the marriage? Cause Paul's statements were given to encourage the Christian spouse to try to get along with the unbeliever and make the mariage work. If, however, the unbelieving spouse insisted on leaving, Paul said let him or her go. The only alternative would be for the Christian to deny his or her faith to perserve the marriage, and that would be worse than dissolving the marriage. Paul's main purpose in writing this was to urge the married couples to seek unity, not separation. Really want her to stay and be right in God.
---Rick_Lambert on 7/30/09

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Rick ... All those passages talk about repentance.

If you and your wife have repented of your past sin, God has forgiven you, and will not hold it against you

It seems to me there are two possibilites

One, that she has fallen under the influence of a cult which does not preach God's forgiveness

Two, she is looking for an excuse to get out of the marriage
---alan8566_of_uk on 7/30/09

If either of you is not a Christian, please get saved and trust in Jesus Christ. Get counseling from a mature Christian, Galatians 6:1-10, submit to God, pray, and read Colossians 3.
Jesus prohibited divorce except for adultery, that included lying about ones virginity. The non adulterer could remarry. The adulterer was not free to marry, and anyone marrying one is entering a prohibited marriage. A divorce without cause, was no divorce, and so, another marriage was a type of bigamy. The exception is in 1Corinthians 7:15. If the unbeliever departs, the Christian can remarry because the marriage was not in the Lord *2.
---Glenn on 7/29/09

Here are some of the verses that she is using to justify her belief to divorce me to repent for her sins:

Matt 5:28
1 Cor 6:9
2 Pet 2:10
2 cor 12:21
Eph 4:19
Acts 3:19
Acts 26:20
Proverbs 30:20
Matt 5:32

Please Help I Do Seek Guidance In This, Because I Do Want To Understand God's Intent And Not Have To Loose My Wife And Kids If This Not An Adultress Marriage.
---Rick_Lambert on 7/29/09


Myself and my wife have studied the verses that you have taken the time to find for us. My wife is lost in what the verses have to do with proving that this is not an adultress marriage. Please I would like some feedback.
---Rick_Lambert on 7/29/09

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*1 If you do this: 1Corinthians 7:33, Ephesians 5:25-29, 31, 33, Colossians 3:19, 1Timothy 5:8, 1Peter 3:7, and she does this: 1Corinthians 11:3-10, 13, 15-16, 14:34-35, Ephesians 5:22-24, 33, Colossians 3:18, 1Timothy 2:11-14, Titus 2:5, 1Peter 3:1-2, 5-6, this resolves the situation.
*2 Deuteronomy 22:17-19, 28-29, 24:1-4, Proverbs 2:17 (forsaketh husband), Isaiah 54:4-8, Jeremiah 3:1, Malachi 2:14-16.
Matthew 5:31-32, 19:3-12, Mark 10:2-12, Luke 16:18, 1Corinthians 6:15-16, 7:10-17, 27.
1Timothy 3:1-15, Titus 1:6-9, 1Peter 5:2-3.
---Glenn on 7/29/09

The Bible states that a man can indeed divorce his first wife if she commits Fornication without being an adulterer.

I understand your second wife's position because of the fact that you did not wait for the actual divorce to come through, I hope I am giving you the right advice here although it is always wise to seek the written word on these matters taking it to your pastor.

Repent of this sin and ask for forgiveness but remember things are not going to be easy she already feels out of Gods will, so much prayer will be needed on this matter.
you cannot divorce and remarry for any cause only if your first wife commits fornication. mat 19:9
---Carla3939 on 7/29/09

Rick....Your wife is trying to get rid of you.
---SusieB on 7/29/09

Are you legally divorced from your first wife? If so, then you are fine with your present wife. Your wife needs to seek the counsel of a mature Godly woman, and start studying God's Word more.
---Trish9863 on 7/29/09

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You didn't learn the first time around, eh?
---ralph7477 on 7/29/09

Why air your dirty laundry on Christianet? All you are going to get is public ridicule!!!
---Phil_the_Elder on 7/29/09

Rick ... this is the second blog you have started on the same subject within 24 hours.

Maybe you sinned by having the relationship before you got your divorce from your fist wife. But you did get that divorce, and have now married your new wife. God will forgive your old sin.

The fact that your present wife thinks you should divorce because of that sin so long ago indicates that there is something else fundamentally wrong with your marriage.
---alan8566_of_uk on 7/29/09

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