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Pick The Right Marriage Mate

We have a lot of blogs about divorce and abuse and adultery and what to do about this. How about if we feed each other and our guests about how to choose the right person and do well in marriage so we prevent such trouble?

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 ---Bill_bila5659 on 8/13/09
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There are no guarantees in marriage. Trouble is not something we can prevent. It happens to all of us sometimes in our relationships. So we should be prepared to deal with ill winds.
But God can send us someone that we need, and not necessarily, who we want. Hopefully he/she will be of the same faith as you, have a job(money),love you with all of his/her heart. Those are the basics. But love is the main ingredient. Run with that................
God bless
---Robyn on 11/6/09

two pieces of advice:

1. be each other's best friend.

2. learn how to "fight" constructively and respectfully.
---Donna66 on 9/7/09

Well make a good marriage. Sit down and talk things over without fighting. Always try to do things together. If the guy wants to go out to play cards with guys, one night a week, let him. And she does the same . . . go with girls. When you do house work, help her out. And always every once in a while, tell her you love her. And if you go to bed, don't go to bed mad, angry, say that you love her > make up and say that you love her.
---Frances_franc4747 on 9/7/09

anon . . . you say to check if someone is self-centered > well, I myself can be self-centered, so I need to deal with if this means I *myself* am not fit for marriage, instead of just evaluating other people. But I've had ones who might say I'd be good because I'm not like ones who abused them. But . . . it's not about comparing me to abusers. It says "the husband is head of the wife", in Ephesians 5:23. So, I'd say God would have me becoming a woman's *head* > including her example to feed her how to share with God and love all people > "nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)
---Bill_bila5659 on 8/17/09

I think God should have a say in picking out our spouse. Pray and ask HIM, "Is he the one or should I wait for another?" Is she right for me Lord?"

You shall know them by their fruit (of the Spirit). Do they have peace, joy, kindness, long-suffing, patience, self-control in their lives?"

Do they follow the beautitudes? Showing mercy to others, being forgiving towards people. How much are they Christ-like? Or are they self-centered? There's so many things you can ask God when picking out your mate. Let Him choose the person for you.
---anon on 8/17/09

I think that people are rude and selfish, and that life sucks sometimes, so there is no way to fully prevent certain things, but there are a lot of ways to weed out bad people.

I watched this show where this woman had a dog who would sit on a mans shoes if he didnt like the man. The first time he did it, the woman didnt know, and then towards the end of the date the man tried to rape her, but she screamed and kicked and he finally let her out of his car, since then when her dog sits on some mans shoes, she knows. And she gets a headache.
---amand6348 on 8/15/09

To find the God given mate, really is to pray & even to fast then wait patiently. It takes 2 for marriage to work & is not 1 sided. All marriages have there up's & down's,you must pray during these times, even during the good times.
I myself mostly just prayed(No fasting), dated for 1 yr & wasn't long enough. Almost 27 yr's of being married. She has an flirty-flattery over friendly personality & it got her into trouble. Some where in those married yr's my spouse was unfaithful to me. There was other prob's also. There was separation for 4 yr's then the div. To many people told me to leave well enough alone, if you go back that she's liable to do the same again. Both of my daughters told me that Mom done Dad so wrong.
---Lawrence on 8/14/09

I so wish that all Ministers were committed to this cause not enough mentoring, study and Biblical knowledge is given to unmarried couples before they commit to marriage, during and after.

The church should provide an ongoing marital guidance study group where there is worship and outings for married couple so to for singles where the scriptures can be memorised within the groups to encourage prayer/fasting, advise correct using Christan counselor's within the church that help mentor support families. A lot of abuse go's on behind closed doors because the relationship of the pastors and families go's as far as a wave from the parish doors and people tends to escape accountability .
---Carla3939 on 8/14/09

There is ONE principal thing many of us Christians do forget," marriage is an institution formed by God". If God chose our country, state, city, language of origin & decided who our parents should be, why do we forget Him when it comes to choosing or looking for spouses. This is the No:1 cause of divorces. The Bible says in Ps. 127: 1,"Unless the Lord builds the house, they labour in vain that builds it..". If God is the foundation of a home, He will help to solve all problems that shall come but if God was not involved at the beginning( whether the parties are Christians or not) it will be difficult.
---Adetunji on 8/14/09

As long as there is SIN in this world there will always be DIVORCE. So how do we deal with this problem? Seek after God's ways.

Marriage involves three participants: Husband, Wife, and Jesus Christ. The first two are imperfect. Only the last one is perfect. Jesus Christ needs to be at the center of any marriage. The husband and wife EACH need to be committed to work at meeting the needs of each other AND Jesus Christ too.

That recipe of SERVING will help make a marriage successful.
---Sag on 8/14/09

Make sure you have the same values socially, spiritually, and that there is physical desire between you.

Think carefully before committing & pray.

Once yuo are married, you are committed ... no thought that someone else may be more intelligent, livelier, healthiier, sexier, Just don't think it. You won't if you are fully committed to your spouse.

Sadly though, if your spouse does not adhere to these precepts, it still may work ... So make sure you both have the same concept of unbreakable marriage before you enter it.
---alan8566_of_uk on 8/14/09

Trouble in marriage will never be preventable because one spouse can not control the behavior of the other. It will always be a risk.

In light of that, we should spend much more time and effort educating young people on the pitfalls and potential consequences of entering into a marriage contract. Marriage today has become primarily a legally binding business contract.

Both parties should be fully aware that the odds are good that a spouse might one day file suit against them in court. The spouse could very well seek past, present and future assets or money damages and could try to limit contact with children.

A broken marriage can cause much hardship. Arming people with knowledge and a dose of reality can only help.
---ralph7477 on 8/14/09

we as human beings,living in the flesh look for our wants,and needs to be meet by others,rather than living in love by the spirit being a meeter of others needs and wants before our own.Its the me me me syndrome.jesus said he who would be first,must be last,a servant to all.Iam not saying to let people walk all over you,and abuse you,but they will try.
---tom2 on 8/13/09

Marriages are as whole as each partners' relationship with the Lord. Each partner must be wholly committed to the Lord, sold out, poured out, in obedience to HIM, before they can be suitable marriage partners. My observation is that too many Christians are lukewarm in their relationship with the Lord, and it leads to falling into treating their partners poorly in many different ways.
---Trish9863 on 8/13/09

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