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Make Friends At Church

Why can't I fit in at church? Do I have to go to church to go to heaven? We moved to another state and I have been going to this church for some time, no one talks to me, oh sure they shake my hand and smile but that's it. I feel so lonely- everyone is friendly but no real realtionships.

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 ---lynn on 10/29/09
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Beloved,we have to remember, people are not divine,they are still hold on to old habites,some not all,many also actual like church is a
social club, you don't fit. Their click
you be yourself and give it time. If you really get to where it's too much take time if you able fast and pray and wait on god,I did and after way too much, I knew the lord was leading me to go.If especially you not getting spiritually fed, it not going to easy to.stay,you do not give up on god sometimes, he got another plan for your life.,another church that be glad to welcome you.
I am waiting and praying myself for.the same.
---ELENA on 10/11/12

I go to a church where nobody from my school goes. I'm not really good at making new friends, and many people have reached out to me. The problem is the next youth group they forget about me, and yet again I'm sitting alone. I'm really fun to be around, when someone gets me talking and out of my "newbie shell," but they never give me a chance. My brother also goes to our church too, but he doesn't want me around...what should i do?
---anonymous:P on 2/23/11

In the end times, the love of many will grow cold and many will fall away from the faith. Many will be offended. I have also seen problems with the churches but have finally decided that it is important to look beyond the problems and try to make a difference. I think that the blogger who advised you to seek out others who look "lonely" has a good idea. Church hopping could land you in a more loving environment but it is more likely that you will find problems at any church. Church membership has nothing to do with salvation. Most of my Christian friends are people I have come across outside of Church. I prayed for Christian friends and God sent them:). Hope that helps.
---jody on 11/15/09

Another suggestion would be for you to watch for another person at your present church who looks like he/she is also alone and not making friends. Reach out to that person.
---KarenD on 11/2/09

A good church might be going easy on you, not coming on too strong, so you can feel your way in. If there is a good message that feeds you and challenges you, ones might be giving you a chance to take it in without them being all over you. Or, of course, they might not be interested in you, which would not be good. But it has helped me to pray for God to make me ready to love people in a church, whether they are real or not > after all, Jesus has us hear to reach to people who need Him. "What kind of a church is it?" As I have been corrected by God to be more honest and humble, I have found myself connecting with ones I'd say are real and help me find out better how to love. We have week groups.
---Bill_bila5659 on 10/30/09

\\ Adetunji--- Jusus can be your best friend, but He doesn't take the place of human companionship. (This is not my opinion. Realisticly, it is the experience of nearly every human being).\\

Actually, God Himself said, "It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

In other words, God knew that He had made Homo sapiens for companionship with others of the same species.
---Cluny on 10/30/09

Adetunji--- Jusus can be your best friend, but He doesn't take the place of human companionship. (This is not my opinion. Realisticly, it is the experience of nearly every human being).
Indeed, the Lord WILL bring people into your life, but FRIENDSHIP is something YOU must help create.
---Donna66 on 10/30/09

Jesus Christ is/should be your best friend. Trying to make human-friends sometimes can be making trouble. The Lord Jesus will give you naturally all the human-friends that you need at any particular period(my belief), do not try to make for yourself.
---Adetunji on 10/30/09

Making friends in a new church can at times be challenging. Try joining some of the small group activities if your church has them or the choir if you enjoy singing. That is a good way to make new friends in a new church.
---The_Friendly_Blogger on 10/30/09

lynn...I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. Hopefully, there are more choices of churches to attend. Try visiting a couple of them. I know that the Lord will lead you to one where he wants you to be.
---KarenD on 10/29/09

\\You do not have to go to church to be saved. \\

Can you imagine someone going up and saying, "King David, I want a personal relationship with you, and I want you to be my personal king, but do I have to go within the borders of Israel to participate in your Kingdom?"
---Cluny on 10/29/09

Oh, bless your heart. Try and just be yourself. If they talk to you they will talk to you. You do not have to go to church to be saved. I hadn't been inside of a church for years when God found me. These people could be your religious people who has dominated the churches of today. Assuming that you are saved, ask God, "if He would see fit to put you in a church that you will be more comfortable in". God bless.
---catherine on 10/29/09

lynn -- No, you don't need to go to church to go to heaven, but you'll be missing SO much if you just give up and quit attending.

Cluny's advice is good. But I sympathize. Sounds like you may be attending church alone. I've been in this situation several times. In some churches people go through the expected greeting, but they are not interested in welcoming new friends. And it's awkward to appoach a group of people happily engaged in conversation, just to introduce yourself.

Try attending activities other than the worship service, offer to help with a project, but if people don't warm up to you then, I'd say "shake the dust off your feet" and look for a friendlier church.
---Donna66 on 10/29/09

Not all churchs ignore people.My church welcomes everyone in,shakes hands,hugs everyone.But you have to do your part.How many times have you when they shook your hand or said hi have you said hi,how are you? Or how many times have you introduced yourself,try to go to some of the activites.Try to start the converstations and get to know them.Just don't expect them to do it all,you have to meet them half way.That is how we are at my church,if you are trying to get to everyone to shake hands,sometimes not so easy to speak.You need to try to do some of that too.Also pray and ask God to help you.If you don't feel like that is the right church for you,pray and ask God to help you find the right church for you.
---angea on 10/29/09

The first week we moved to Bristol, my family of wife, myself and 4 young children attended the local church. We were obviously first-timers.

Atthen end of the service, the pastor did not even acknowledge us. As we stood there alone, none of the closed circles opened up to allow us to join in. The church officials stood around planning their next committee meetings or signing cheques.

Same happened next week!

Short of shouting "Ney we are new here" what could we do?

Following week, went to another church ... even if we had wanted to leave, we could not have get out afterwards, for all the people crowding round and welcoming us.
---alan8566_of_uk on 10/29/09

And what have YOU done to make yourself more available and to make friends?

Are you waiting for people to speak to you first--or are you going and introducing yourself? Are YOU making the effort to talk to people and start conversations at appropriate times?

Assuming you have health, time, and transportation, do you go to activities other than services? Do you volunteer for work days and the like?
---Cluny on 10/29/09

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hi lynn
don't be discourage, bec that is the same situation that goes on in every church. ironic it is, christianity is relationship but the sad part about it is there are dozens of 'works, do's & don't' not really relationship, person to person contact. I have the same problem in all the church I've gone I feel the same aloneness. and you feel is you have to be perfect & not be the person god wants you to be to have a REAL relationship with other believers. another sad part about it is they give you 1 verse in the bible hoping to solve all the problems you have overnight.
---mike on 10/29/09

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