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Stop Wife From Sleeping Around

I am a Christian, but separated from my wife. My wife is sleeping with another man and wants to keep things this way. What can I do?

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 ---richard on 3/16/10
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its time for you to move on.but if you still love her-accept her and forgive her but most importantly pray for her.only God can change people
---mj on 6/21/11

it sounds like shes already decided what you can sounds like its time to move on.christian or not there is no point in wasting time trying to be where you obviously arent wanted.lifes to short to waste on a lost cause.even jobe had his limits.
---victor.bennett on 6/14/11

I went through this, years ago and I can tell you that she will not change and though some day may seek forgiveness she will find that she may get forgiveness from God, but from you it will be all too late.
---Ken_Gonzales on 6/14/11

you can try to show her the sin of her ways or you can accept the fact that you cant satisfy a woman
---Beenthere on 6/14/11

Nothing beyond prayer. I can't imagine the horror and humiliation you are going through but it will only make things worse if you get outside God's will.

Our sinful nature for is strong as even I find myself rooting for you to even the score.
As I have stated before Satan always attacks at the point of relationships, primarily because he is almost always successful.
---larry on 11/9/10

You can get a divorce, but if you love her and believe in your heart and mind she is the one God gave you to spend the rest of your life with - go fight for her !

when anyone has to "fight" for another human being it's not about love ...selfish reasons and time and again VERY FEW ever "win" ...most will become entangled in a web of conflict and competition ...creating more negative emotions usually with NEED to win ...busy fighting for physical love of another stop seeking spiritual love of Christ

misguided worlds way of fighting for anything ...those in world adopted this concept ...fighting for anything leads to aggression ...more than half of homicides of women are by spouse
---Rhonda on 11/8/10

The Bible states that divorce is only acceptable in the case of adultery. You can get a divorce, but if you love her and believe in your heart and mind she is the one God gave you to spend the rest of your life with - go fight for her ! Pray for her and pray for your marriage to be revived. It can be done with effort and the grace and forgiveness of God. I have seen it and experienced it.
---Loreal on 11/7/10

On the flip side: your wife must be happy with this man. She is probably getting something she was not getting from you. Sometimes this is the case with women. But she is committing adultery. Only she can stop this and seek forgiveness from God for what she is doing. You need to move on. There are other fish in the sea.
---Robyn on 11/7/10

Amen Higgins and Samuel

to remain married is to be unequally yoked ...your wife has either forsaken living for Christ or she never did

either way although the sin of adultery is her sin by staying with her "as separated" you condone her sin

If she has taken a stand that this is her new lifestyle then you have no other alternative then to divorce her

remaining married to someone who disrespects you, her marriage vows, and her own integrity is emotionally spiritually and physically damaging to you can only work out your own salvation not someone elses
---Rhonda on 11/6/10

Richard, you can do nothing to stop her. You can pray for her, and go on with your life. She likes what she is doing, and until there is a change of heart, nothing will change. There was a brother that I knew whose wife left him also, he loved her so much and cried for her. She found herself not able to be on her own because of money so wanted to come back home, I ask him if his wife had change, he said no. I suggested for him not to take her back. Because no change had happened yet. He took her back and after a few weeks, she begin to go out even more, to the point where she was gone in the weekends and came home Mondays. Things were worse then before. She finally left him when she was able to find another guy to help her.
---Mark_V. on 11/6/10

My friend, you married her, you didn't buy her. The womam has free will. Move on with your life and forgive her as Christ would.
---Samuel on 11/5/10

Your wife is committing adultery. You can divorce and move on. Read your bible. You should know what to do! This is very risky behavior on your wife's part also. There are many std's out there now. The world has really changed. I would not want to go to bed with my spouse, anymore, after finding out he had slept with another woman. Protect yourself. Let her go!
---Robyn on 7/1/10

Dear Richard:

Separated or not, your wife is still linked to you legally and spiritually. Because of her infidelity you can cut her off legally and spiritually. In both cases she will cease being your wife.

Be careful, my friend, because your bride's infidelity is a threat to you emotionally, spiritually and physically. I believe if a member of your body causes you to sin it is better to cut it off. Either way the choice to reconcile or put her away is yours.

Remember, she did not just break her marital promises to you...she also broke her word before The Almighty and is treating her temple like a brothel. I would consider her unworthy before The Lord and unworthy as my bride.

P.S. This same thing happened to me.
---Higgins on 6/16/10


I feel your pain. I separated from my wife back in January and stayed separated until March. Even after we reconciled I learned that she was still talking to other men and that she had slept with 3. In April of this year....she told me that she loved me and only wanted me....things have been great since I found out that she has been going back to the adult dating sites....she claims to have a problem but wants to spend the rest of her life with me. In regards to your is tough...continue to pray. Don't push her but treat her with kindness and God will do the rest. She has to admit her weakness and repent to the lord before she will change 100%. Good luck
---Greg on 6/16/10

Richard, the two rules set down by Jesus are: Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind and Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. Because of their hard hearts, men today are still trying to justify the sin of divorce through misreading one awkwardly written verse in Matt 19. However, if you read from verse 1 to 12, you will see that the Pharisees are trying to trap Jesus with talk of divorce. His reply simply says that if you get remarried after a divorce, for any reason other than (your former spouse's) fornication, you are committing adultery (or cuasing someone else to). Jesus would NEVER justify a sin.
---aka_joseph on 4/22/10

Richard: under the rules set down by Jesus, you will have to decide whether to divorce her (for adultery) or to keep her. Both ways are open to you, it is up to you to decide which one is better for you
---peter3594 on 4/20/10

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Richard, On 3/16/10, MarkV spoke with perfect clarity of heart and mind. Please reread his post and refocus.
---aka_joseph on 4/19/10

\\I'm this child-like faith 51 yr old wo\\

BTW, there's a big difference between "child-like faith" and "childish faith."

Children, in my experience, want to know everything RIGHT NOW!

Childish adults, on the other hand, only want simple catch phrases. This is seen in bumper-sticker slogans and buttons so popular in some circles.
---Cluny on 3/18/10

\\See, your this scholar and I'm this child-like faith 51 yr old woman who doesn't read the WHOLE chapter, just the parts in RED..LOL. \\

I'm not a scholar.

And what do you think I was quoting, but the part in red?

Of course, you have to know to whom and why Jesus said it to make sense. It's right there written down.
---Cluny on 3/17/10

To summarize the passages mentioned in Luke 13, for Cluny, we have to understand there is no repentance talked about because the door has been closed. It is judgment day. No one will have a chance to repent.
"And He said to them, Strive to enter through the narrow gate, for many I say to you, will seek to enter and will not be able. "When once the Master of the house has risen up and shut the door, and you begin to stand outside and knock at the door, saying Lord, Lord, open for us, and He will answer and say to you, I do not know you, where you are from"
The context is talking about the time of Judgment many will protest that they deserve entrance into heaven (Matt. 7:21-23
---MarkV. on 3/17/10

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Cluny, you got me laughing over here. I seem to miss alot of your

See, your this scholar and I'm this child-like faith 51 yr old woman who doesn't read the WHOLE chapter, just the parts in RED..LOL.

Those people and groups of people you mentioned in your posts, were they REALLY saved? or did they just think they were? That's MY

I'm telling you Cluny, I need to borrow you for a few days to help me study the bible from a more theological point of view, not just a child-like faith kind of view.
---Donna on 3/17/10

Some people call themselves a Christian and they don't have a personal relationship with Jesus. If she has a personal relationship with Jesus the fear of God would be in her. Therefore, she should not be sleeping around. As for what you should do, you must seek God and godly counsel. Prayerfully, God will give you wisdom on what to do. He is the only one who knows your heart and your wifes.

Be blessed!
---Shary on 3/17/10

\\Do you really think a Christian (if she is one) who commits adultery continually goes to heaven?\\

Do your own sins mean you're not saved and going to heaven?

My point, which you missed, is that Jesus did NOT say, "Unless you repent, you will likewise perish," to those living in sin or unbelievers., but to Torah-tapping, synagogue going, tithing, family-values believing Jews.
---Cluny on 3/17/10

Cluny, I know what it says.

Do YOU remember Jesus said, "Many will say to me on that day, Lord didn't we cast out demons in your name, etc.?"

And what did Jesus say he will say to them?

Begone from me, for I never knew you.

Richard is saying he is a Christian, where does he mention that his wife is one?

Do you really think a Christian (if she is one) who commits adultery continually goes to heaven? Read the entire Epistle of 1 John. I know you are a scholar, but I think in this case you missed that richard didn't say his wife was a Christian.
---Donna on 3/17/10

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my wife did likewise 30 years ago,iam,and have been single ever since.
---tom2 on 3/17/10

\\Pray for her salvation because Jesus said, Unless she repent, ye shall peris\\

Take a look at Luke 13, especially the context and to whom these words were addressed, Donna.
---Cluny on 3/16/10

Make an appointment with a lawyer.
---ralph7477 on 3/16/10

Richard, you should stay far away from her. You cannot help what another person does. You are not responsible for her life. You do not own her or control her life. She will be judged by her own actions.
If you stay close to her, talking to her, trying to convince her what she is doing is wrong, you will find out she will not listen to you, no matter what you say. In fact you will push her further from you. And increase the time of her coming back if she is coming back. Stop what you are doing, and move on with your life. Let God take care of her life. While in the mean time He takes care of your life too, changing you to be the person He wants you to be. And if God brings her back, you will know how to conduct yourself if she returns.
---MarkV. on 3/16/10

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It is hard to let go but in corinthians speaks if the spouse wants to go let them go if they want to stay let them stay but You never give up praying/believing for them look at Hosea what he went through.
---Felix5733 on 3/16/10

Pray for her. She's lost.

If your wife can so easily commit adultery like that, then she has no fear of the Lord in her heart, or if she had it there, it somehow dimished, got suppressed, or she's forgotten whose she is (a child of God).

Pray for the Holy Spirit to convict her of adultery (her sin).
Pray for Mercy on her.
Pray that God would draw her back to you.
Pray for her salvation because Jesus said, Unless she repent, ye shall perish and Hebrews tells us that: Fornicators and adulters God will judge.
---Donna on 3/16/10

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