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Divorce Eating Sleeping Husband

Should I leave my husband of fifteen years? I am 36 and he is not so nice to me. Today I learned I needed surgery, he ate dinner and went to sleep on the couch. NO support or anything. I am tired and I want to be loved.

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 ---shanda on 5/7/10
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What is rife about you and other is the fact that you judge others on your own merits of what constitutes your wrong doing, if it pleases you you agree if it does not you have not a single humble bone in your body to admit when you hurt someone whether intentionally or unintentionally and just plainly apologise.

Funny my bible and everyone else who profess to be Christian states to love as Christ Loved!
another :why not take the wrong!

...esteem others higher than yourself...

ironic unless someone hurts you you don't feel it doe it mean you don't hurt others?

I'd rather be blessed for Christ's sake not for my own self righteousness.

---Carla on 5/20/10

Cluny// there was not even one part of your criticism that showed any sort of understanding of what Donna actually meant //

You have more in common with Catherine than Christ.

Carla, you're attributing to me something I did not say (which is easy to do here), and then you criticize me for it.

As far as my life, you know NOTHING about it, hence you are in no position to pass judgement.

Regarding the rest, keep on blessing me and increasing my heavenly treasure. I rejoice in your scorn.
---Cluny on 5/14/10


The people who ask questions like that are first names and never five letter and four numbers. They never respond, and they are subjects that will get very much traffic. How many different variations are we gonna get on divorce?

I think it is for commerce. The longer they keep us here, the more chance that someone will take the bait on one of thier advertisments.

If they print this, it will be a miracle :~)
---aka_joseph on 5/12/10

Shanda: I'm sorry, I cannot provide some advice for you, as to what you can do.

The only thing I could say is that you need some other people to be with you, if your husband is not supporting you

Find others as friends, for some support

---peter3594 on 5/12/10

Carla, thank you for understanding what I went through and why I said what I said.

Cluny, all you want to do is attack another person's answer to show you are smart and savy and yet you are so cruel and ignorant and short on compassion and mercy.

I lost 3 embroyo's. I was devastated and you think I should have stayed in a room with my husband watching Scream II? Where they were putting knives in people's backs and killing them and that was only the beginning part of the movie.

Cluny, God have mercy on you. You attack other's answers and think you're a smarty-cat, but you lack compassion and empathy for a woman who has gone through 3 miscarriages...believe me, it's VERY painful.
---Donna5535 on 5/11/10

* If you know how it feels, it feels like a great loss and you go through bereavement*.
---Carla on 5/11/10

akaJoseph...You are so right. Questions like this leave so much to our imagination. Then the original poster never comes back to participate in the discussion. Perhaps these numerous posts like this one are just put on for discussion and are not from real people.
---KarenD on 5/11/10

Cluny// there was not even one part of your criticism that showed any sort of understanding of what Donna actually meant //

You have more in common with Catherine than Christ.

She said nothing wrong why should she at such a time want company of her husband who showed her hostility in such a sensitive time when all her emotions were upside down if you know how it feels you feels bereaved and at loss.

You've obviously led a sheltered life Me, Me and only me myself and I.
---Carla on 5/11/10

You both need marital counseling, before it becomes more tempting to have an emotional affair.
---amand6348 on 5/11/10

\\He left me alone every night to pray by myself because I didn't want to watch is demonic TV shows and scary movies.\\

In other words, you rejected your husband's company and refused to be with him.
---Cluny on 5/10/10

Shanda: Certainly he is not good to you (well, I'm married but I cold never say I'm good to my wife - after all, I'm a fallen man, and I have things that upset her)..... but she accepts them - with complaints!

Now, I will not draw analogies between our couples, but I just mean that divorce is not a solution to marital problems - I know that's not what you want to hear now, and I know you are suffering, but I still do not believe that divorce is a solution

God is always with you, even when your husband is not
---peter on 5/10/10

shanda, some men do not know how to give a woman emotional support. I had 3 miscarriages and my husband would not spend one hour with me, cuddling or praying, nothing. He left me alone every night to pray by myself because I didn't want to watch is demonic TV shows and scary movies.

Don't look to him for emotional support. You can get all of the emotional support you need from God, Jesus and Holy Spirit.

Pour your heart out to God, tell him how you feel and that you need a revelation of HIS love towards you and for you. Study the scriptures that say, I have loved you with an everlasting love. I won't leave you nor forsake you.

Cluny-single woman can be loved by GOD just as much as a married one.
---Donna5535 on 5/10/10

Trish, I do understand. This type of forum makes it very difficult to communicate well. I do not mean to sound callous, but these type of questions are very difficult in themselves.
---aka_joseph on 5/10/10

Joseph: My wording was not exactly what I intended. I just find it interesting that this woman would come to us, and ask us if she should leave him, because her husband failed to respond to her in a way she expected. Unfulfilled expectations seems to be a great reason to divorce these days. Hubby did not live up to her expectations, and she wants to leave him.
---Trish9863 on 5/9/10

shanda...Do you have another man who will be more supportive than your husband?
---KarenD on 5/9/10

jesus wants us to trust and pray and stay in our marriage to our husband,our lord is with you always.please pray for a healing for you and your marriage.ask other christains to pray with you for this will save your marriage as you learn asking god for love into your marriage.feelings can't be trusted god can be trusted forever.
---irene on 5/9/10

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You'll get LOTS of love if you are divorced and single, won't you?
---Cluny on 5/8/10

Have you tried communicating your feelings with him and finding out why he would fail to be supportive of your need when you learn about upcoming surgery? Trish9863

Trish, I am not picking on you. I am just trying to illustrate what Shanda absolutely should not do -- from a man's perspective. Do not point out his failure especially with your feelings.

Have you tried communicating with him in such a way that promotes effective two way communication that benefits you both?

Love, God's love, does not come natural. We have to learn it. Talk to God. In little ways, love him, respect his distance, and he will come around.
---aka_joseph on 5/9/10

Wait a few days until the shock of your needed surgery has passed. It is not a good thing to make hasty decisions when facing a crisis situation like surgery. some people just don't know how to handle a situation like this. Perhaps your husband is more worried about it than you think. However, do you have a long history of medical problems? If so, he may just be tired of them and need to work through this one.
---KarenD on 5/8/10

Have you tried communicating your feelings with him and finding out why he would fail to be supportive of your need when you learn about upcoming surgery? I have learned that things do not usually happen in a vacuum, and that people behave the way they do for a reason. Ask him to talk. If he won't talk, seek marital therapy.
---Trish9863 on 5/8/10

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sorry dear but neglect is not grounds for divorce. my first 2 wives spent most of their time loving other men,its called adultery.we all want to be loved,well God loves you,sorry that apparently your husband is so cold towards your needs,I would suggest counseling,and telling him how you feel.good luck.
---tom2 on 5/8/10

I would say get with God, first, get His support, and see what He has you do "in the support of His peace". Love "hopes all things," we have in 1 Corinthians 13:7. So, have hope for yourselves to do better.

Be careful about letting what isn't right be getting your attention much more than what is good.

If you have surgery coming, I would say that may be enough to deal with, now, and adding in thinking about divorce is not helpful, at this time. Get with God in prayer in His peace, and may God choose the victory He pleases to share with you, in all this (c: God bless you ! ! !
---Bill_bila5659 on 5/8/10

Cluny: I have seen many blogs submitted by men regarding relationship problems. As far as this blog goes, I don't think you will find a Christian who will advise you to "leave" your husband as it is against God's will according to the Bible. I agree with Clooney and John that he may be needy himself right now or even in need of medical attn for depression or something else. I am sorry for you feelings of being unloved as well. My only advice to you is to seek the Lord with everything you have. It is He that can sustain you. He loves you more than you can imagine and can fix this problem. I will be praying for you, your surgery, your husband and your relationship with God and your husband. Much love to you...Jody
---jody on 5/8/10

You want to be loved!!!!!
So does your husband and if you leave him you cause him to commit Adultery and you if you take another man after you leave him will be called an Adulteress.

Now think about it it means NO Heaven is it worth it. Get counselling and make sure you are speaking to a Christian born again New Testament beleiver in the real Law of Marriage not someone who with itcy ears want to tell you exactly what you want to hear, read all the scriptures on marrige.

You will do a lot worse to leave him and marry again in the sight of God.
---Carla on 5/8/10

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It seems like he is depressed about all the pressure he has on him. So when you said that he just went to sleep. That is how many he reacted when his cup is already overflowing. He might just be depress and feels you lack the insight to observe what he is going through. Very typical! It's just too much (too many things)for him to handle anymore.

Also... if he is a heavy snorer then he is suffering from Sleep Apnea. So you might think he's sleeping but actually he is not getting Oxygen and so he is tired and sleeps all day long. See a doctor for this!!! It could be deadly.
---John on 5/8/10

Maybe he wants to be loved, too.

Have you tried asking him why he's so tired?

Why is it that so many women complain about their husbands on these blogs--and so few men?
---Cluny on 5/7/10

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