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Bosses Adultery Irks Me

Why is it that almost every male boss I've had has an affair on his wife? Adultery irks me. I have to submit to his warped authority knowing he's doing this, it's hard to do, and please don't tell me to mind my business. I have to process his extravagant dinner receipts. Any advice on how to handle this?

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 ---anon on 5/18/10
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Why does anybody expect unbelievers to live Christ-like? Christ-likeness is a fruit of the Spirit, of which they have yet to partake of.
---Linda on 6/18/10

Refusing to participate in someone else's sin is judging yourself, which we ARE supposed to do. It has nothing to do with judging others.

Solomon is wrong example hun, he did not participate in any deceit. He ruled against the deceit.
---fay on 6/18/10

What is wisdom?

Well Solomon (1Ki 3:27) faced with two mothers arguing over a baby each claiming the baby was their's, Solomon using his God given wisdom (Jam 1:5) ruled favourably towards the real mother of the child.

Wisdom and being wise speaks nothing of deceitful!

Salome X
---Carla on 6/18/10

Can you truly win a soul by participating in deceit? Do you truly think Jesus would participate in deceit in order to win a soul? I don't know about that one.
---fay on 6/15/10

He that wins a soul is wise!
---Carla on 6/15/10

Christ told Christians to live in the world yet be separate

even True Christians are not perfect

this has nothing to do with minding your own business as it does with judging people based on your convictions

this is a world full of sin and it is dying

the problem isn't your bosses infidelity your problem is you don't like your job

either find another job you like or learn to appreciate and like the one you have

no human being is perfect your boss is no exception

I'm sure your boss has many complaints about you too --seeing he is your boss you should be careful he holds they keys to your employment
---Rhonda on 6/11/10

Sin may breed sin, but love covers a multitude of sin. God's unconditional love keeps no record of wrong. Who knows. You may be the only light shining there. Let there be light.
---Linda on 6/11/10

anon, are you ok?
---fay on 6/8/10

anon, are you ok? I know you feel this decision is difficult but when you put God first He takes care of you. Faith in His ability to provide for you is a decision. Obviously you have been agonizing over this. We care about you & want you to be able to live in God's absolute peace. I pray God provides the perfect opportunity for you to "stand up for Jesus." Put the process in motion & the Holy Spirit will flow from God's heart through your mouth. He has promised he will not disappoint you. He will be there. Demand all fear to leave. Perfect love casts out fear.
---fay on 6/1/10


Excuses and procrastinion don't work with G-d.
---John on 6/1/10

well obviously your not working for a born again boss,

if it discusses you so much, pack and leave, for to start a fight over this you will deffenately loose. on the other hand you might preach to him until he sends you packing or repents.
---Andy3996 on 6/1/10

anon, you could total his receipts leaving those out & ask him to explain the ones you left out in front of his boss. However you handle it remember that God is always on your side. He loves you with an everlasting love & He will never let you down. Whatever you decide to do, do it with as much love as you can contain.
---fay on 5/28/10

Tell his wife and show her the receipts.
---amand6348 on 5/28/10

anon, please forgive me if I offended you. I gave you my opinion. You have the right to disagree, in fact you must work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. If I were doing the same thing I would consider myself participating. I believe there are no shades of wrong and right. The road to heaven is narrow, not, in my opinion, wide enough for shading truths. You asked for opinions & that was mine. The Word says to speak the truth in love, & the truth is God loves you no matter how you handle it. Take it to Him,he'll never let you down. If the whole world turns against you He is always on your side.
---fay on 5/26/10

---annie on 5/24/10 in answer to your question: if it was done after work hours and didn't interfere with my job, It would not irk me at all.

However, when his boss came to my desk and asked me where he was one Thurs afternoon at 2pm, I said, "off-site." Can you get him for me? I emailed him and no response. I knew he was in a hotel room, why would he repond to me from there? He wouldn't.

No one seems to get the point that this is being done during work hours, and he's turning in his receipts for lunch and dinners with her and I'm expensing them because I do his expense report. He takes off around 2pm twice a week and disappears and people are looking for him. I lie and say I have no clue where he is. Sin breeds sin.
---anon on 5/25/10

Congratulations for exposing ILLEGAL business practices! Laws have the authority of government. No one can argue.

I'm sure you can see that "moral" laws are not like that. Morals are open to debate (they shouldn't be, but not everyone believes that God has any such laws) Exposing someone doing something they and many others don't believe is wrong... accomplishes little.
---Donna66 on 5/24/10

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Adultery is wrong, I agree with that but you do not say why in particular this wrong in others irks you so much?

When I see wrong-doing between others I try to pray for them. That is the best that we can do - I don't know if this helps but why get irked at other peoples wrong-doings that we are not directly involved with.

Don't we have enough of our own misdeeds to think about before considering what other are getting up to. Be a shining light to others by your own good examples and not fret about the negativity of others which will only bring you down to their level by fretting about what others are getting up to.
---annie on 5/24/10

---John on 5/24/10

fay, I find your use of the word "participating" offensive.

No, I did not get in trouble for "cooperating" with HR and the auditors when they asked me to point them in the right direction - my former boss was misusing company money to support his affair and when the amount got over $50,000. I alluded to someone that his expense report should be audited. He also gave away a $25,000 non-restricted educational grant to her company and that is a violation of the FDA rules and regulations.

I did NOT participate in anything, I cooperated with the company's HR and auditors like I was asked to.
---anon on 5/24/10

anon: I pray for you that the ungodly sermon/example that the 2 are preaching and showing to you shall not corrupt you or affect you negatively. The best you can do is to pray for them (1)that God will enlighten them to know that what they are doing is wrong and can cause them serious troubles later (2)that they will repent before it is late (3)that God should send whom HE will to talk to either or both of them.
---Adetunji on 5/24/10

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anon, didn't you say you got in trouble before for participating?

God I ask you to reveal Your perfect Will in this situation and I expect you to reveal it in a way that anon will never doubt that it is You. I ask you to become so real to everyone involved that they will never be able to deny You and Your Will. Amen!!!
---fay on 5/20/10

Anon: Since you know the mistress, and work alongside her in some fashion, pray for her, and see if you can be a loving witness for Christ to her. She obviously needs Jesus as much as your boss does. Add her to your prayer list and seek to befriend her for Jesus.
---Trish9863 on 5/19/10

Unfortunately, yes it's adultery. I've seen them going into a hotel together and I have a friend who works there, she said they left after 4 hours.

What were they doing? Watching TV in the room? LOL (not funny, I know, sorry).

He leaves work around 3pm every other day and no one can find him, she works here too and is missing the same timeframes as he is...he doesn't pick up his blackberry or check email.

Like this Friday, he has blocked from 12pm to 5pm with the code name for her...I actually like her alot, but I feel sorry for his wife.

I've decided to take everyone's advice and ignore it, block it out of my mind, and just process the receipts when he tells me to, it's not me stealing, I'm just the messenger.
---anon on 5/19/10

John -- I appreciate your stand for righteousness. But I think God's truth stands on it's own. God doesn't need me to protect it. In this world we are to be "wise as serpents and harmless as doves".
In real life, there are battles to fight in the Name of Christ everywhere you look. God does not call me, or anyone else, to attend to each and every one.

Getting involved in this particular one would be a disaster for the employee and do nothing to bring honor to Christ. That's my opinion.
---Donna66 on 5/19/10

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Anon: Do as aka Joseph suggests and pray for your work relationship with your boss, your boss, his wife and their marriage each and every time you process receipts. Pray that your testimony to your boss would be evident and that he would ask you about your faith in Christ. Pray that he and his wife would be blessed with a loving relationship, and if there is trouble in their relationship that they would seek God to heal it. Pray for his wife to find Christ through some friends of hers, and for your boss to find Christ as well.

John: You cannot expect immoral people to behave morally, as they lack the Holy Spirit of God, who is the only strength I have to live a moral life. Without Christ, I am just as debase as the boss in question.
---Trish9863 on 5/19/10

anon, I assumed you knew this was adultery or you would not have posted.

rod4him, If an employee sells cigarettes to an adult knowing it is for a minor it is a punishable offense. Why should it be any different for any other offense? Why does it seem to be ok if it is adultery? A personal dinner is misappropriation of funds.
---fay on 5/19/10


I understand what you are saying, but far too many times this becomes an excuse or a crutch for Christians to do nothing and remain silent. Making Christians another Politically Correct non-person. They rather use verses Judge not/ be not judge etc. to give them the excuse to allow evil to grow even in the smallest ways.

This attitude is the reason our nation is in the condition it is in. For if Christians can't speak out in even the smallest situation, then how do you expect Christians to speak out when it is in fact a larger cause. So evil grows in small seeds, eventually these small seeds grow into large trees.

We are the guardians of G-ds Truth and will be held accountable for what we do or DON"T do.
---John on 5/19/10

anon, since you regularly post on this site, I assume that you are a Christian.

1. Put down the stones you are casting. These are lost and misguided souls, but they are God's Creation.

2. Pray for the boss, his wife, his other, and yourself. God keeps putting you into a similar situation for a reason. Keep up the self righteous indignation or follow His lead after you pray.

3. Let them see the Light in you that may convict them and turn their life around. It's about Christ not anon.

Sorry to appear gruff, but you asked for advice.
---aka_joseph on 5/19/10

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anon, when it comes to expensive dinners, sometimes that is just the world in which business players live. It's extravagant to us, but it is part of the business game. Sales people often try to impress people that they want to do business with. I don't know if that is what you are referring to, but it is all a normal part of the business game.

As far as adultery, if that is mixed with business outtings, there's nothing illegal about that. Many times the executives types go to gentleman's clubs, ball games, and shows all part of business.

If you are an accountant, if something is blantantly wrong such as buying personal items for personal use, go up the ladder after talking to the abuser of funds.
---Rod4Him on 5/18/10

Also NANA...

Extortion, Threats, and Intimidation are all Felonies!

So hold your tongue!!!!
---JOHN on 5/18/10

True, But I don't think "tyranny" is a danger in this situation.

I learned a long time ago that you can't spend your life trying to get everybody to be "moral". Immorality is so common now, that you would never have the time! And, if you let yourself, you will be "irked" 24/7.(And Nana is right, don't accuse...even in your own mind... without iron-clad proof.)

Most important, I also believe marital problems are nobody's business but the couple involved. Unless I know that a child is being harmed or illegal activities are taking place, I choose not to become involved.
My business is to live a moral and upright life myself and to tell others about Jesus when I have opportunity.
---Donna66 on 5/18/10

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---Sandy on 5/18/10

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anon: Thank God for your priviledged job and pray to God for your boss over your suspicions about his inadequacies. (1) You prepare the receipts but you will not be called to defend them. (2) Modern day leaders of corporations arrange more of the companies contracts/deals at the club nowadays. I think it is an assumption when you claim those receipts are for adultery.(3) It may be better to start looking for another job before your uncomfortable feeling manifest in other things that could spell trouble for you. The boss has not offended you in what you stated thus far.
---Adetunji on 5/19/10

anon, if you are the one processing his receipts, you are wrong. Do you really trust God to take care of you or not?

If it were me, I would talk to the boss in love and let him know that if he was going to any personal dinner whether with his wife or mother or mistress, it is wrong to turn it in as business receipts. I would not turn him in to his boss but simply refuse to include those specific receipts.

In the name of Jesus I ask God now to take over this situation for anon and let Your light shine,God. We know that we are nothing without you Lord and ask that you fill anon with Your perfect peace. Lord, fill her mouth & life with Your Words & help her pass this test with flying colors. Amen.
---fay on 5/19/10

Adultery and misappropiation of funds! Make sure you have your facts straight before you levy those charges. I do not see where dinner receipts and adultery testify of one another.
Oft times 'peons' are not privy to the 'business' ramifications of their superior's dealings. All that said, show us facts of the adultery and next show facts that you are 100% sure that you know
the person acoompanying your boss in those dinners and the facts that the persons involved are not conducting company business while dinning.
---Nana on 5/18/10


"Tyranny Reigns when GOOD people do nothing!"
Sir Edmund Burke

Basically means good people have to fight evil constantly because it never ends and consumes ALL if they dont. Been going on since the beginning.

Bad people only prevail when good people are silent.

In both small arenas and large ones.
---John on 5/18/10

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John---Case closed? You didn't warn her that she might have to change jobs because of her honesty. When wifey tells the boss where she found out about him....
She, too, may be furious with her, the employee. (not every woman believes or is grateful for this information)
It's not just the boss you have to worry about.

There's a reason people in this position are "wimps".

Illegal activity DOES carry an obligation to report the situation. Adultery, immoral as it is, is not illegal!
---Donna66 on 5/18/10

Each year we sign a form that says if we see anything unethical being done, we are to report it. Spending company money on dinners non-business related is unethical to me, but I really don't care, it's just that this happened to me before in one of my other jobs many years ago and I kept my mouth shut and HR ended up coming to me for help....setting me up with auditors and threratened my job if I didn't tell them what I was horrendous going through that. I am ignoring it. But since I do his expense reports, I feel like I'm stealing money too.
---anon on 5/18/10

I feel for you, because you are between rock and hard place with this situation. It doesn't feel good to work for someone who is morally wrong, however, you need to work and make a living out of it. Therefore, if it becomes very uncomfortable to the point that it's unbearable to work for him. Then you should pray about it, and allow the Lord to lead and guide you in the right direction.
---Kimbe7395 on 5/18/10

If you can't do this it is time to resign and work somewhere else.
---Friendly_Blogger on 5/18/10

Nice Politically Correct nonsense!
Let his wife know!!! Either directly or indirectly.

She needs to know. You would want someone to tell you if it was your husband.

Ask his wife about the receipts and if they had a good time or just tell her directly he is cheating on her.

I wish more moral people would just step up to the plate and stop being wimps!

---John on 5/18/10

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Ask your boss, "Don't you love your wife anymore?" If he says Yes, then ask him, "What do you think your wife would do, if she knew that you are being intimate with some other woman? and what would you do if your wife went to be intimate with some other man?" So if he does love his wife, then he needs to make it right with his wife.
---Eloy on 5/18/10

What is in your job description? Are you being asked to do anything that is out side of your job description. Are you being asked to perform a criminal act or any action that could make you a criminal accessory currently or after the fact. You were not likely hired to make moral ethical judgements about contemporaries or supervisors where you work. If someone at work is performing or planning a criminal act you have a lawful responsibility to report it to authorities outside of your organization. Other wise you are supposed to do you job with out comment. If you can't do this it is time to resign and work somewhere else.
---Friendly_Blogger on 5/18/10

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