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Husband's Mid Life Crisis

I am a godly woman and I am married to a godly man we have been married 23 years. My husband is having a emotional affair. He is in a mid life crisis. I feel like I am not good enough. What do I do?

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If it is true he is having an emotional affair, then I would suggest you set strong boundaries for yourself. Confront him and tell him what you know and how you feel. Then give him a choice either the affair or you. He will have to make a choice he can't have both. You must remain strong, no wavering! I think you are mistaken it is he that is not good enough. His poor choices are sinful to God and disrespectful to you. I don't buy this mid-life crisis stuff. Its just a cop-out and the world's way of justifying sinful behavior. As for being a Godly man, I question that. A Godly man is lead by the SPIRIT and the SPIRIT would never lead a man to commit adultery. Jesus said if we lust in our heart over a woman we are committing adultery.
---Frank on 8/27/10

Fay, Word of faith teachings are false, Here you are talking about unbelief, and I said you needed to read Scripture because you forgot to put Mark 6:5 because you said,
"Even Jesus did not many mighty works in certain areas because of the unbelief. Mat 13:58" It sure didn't stop Him from healing people in unbelief in Mark 6:5 where it says,
Now He could do no mighty works there, except that He laid His hands on the few sick people and healed them. And He marveled because of their unbelief. Then He went about the villages in a circuit, teachings"
Sounds like you want everyone to hear you, but only those who I have spoken against will support you, even if you are wrong. Word of Faith teachers are false teachers.
---MarkV. on 6/28/10

MarkV, you have control of this site & you will pay the penalty someday for your lying about hermeneutics being their own religion & for covering up your lie.

To everyone else, including moderators, etc. I have revealed the truth about MarkV's "religion". There comes a time when everyone must see the truth & the truth here is that this site is overrun by MarkV's religion which is full of unbelief. Even Jesus did not many mighty works in certain areas because of the unbelief. Mat 13:58 So, this is where I shake the dust from my feet as a testimony against your unbelief. Mat 10:14, Mrk 6:11, Lk 9:5.
---fay on 6/28/10

Amen, in the name of Jesus. And may anyone on this site suffering from any aspect of kidney problems or disease receive from this testimony.
---Linda on 6/25/10

Cluny, I am glad for the miracle of the Dialysis machine. God gifted someone to invent it. Without which many would have been dead already. I'm happy that you are doing much better, and sorry you are in that condition, I'm sure it wasn't your lack of faith that did that. Your words on God were right on:
" believe that God heals. Most of the time He works through medicine or other natural processes.
But this does not mean He doesn't (for His purposes and reasons and at His time) heal directly, too."

By the way, one of my sisters has been on dialysis for over 10 years, and she is still doing great.
---Mark_V. on 6/25/10

Will this body of believers stand firm in this prayer that Cluny be shown God's mercy & grace & be free from every tiny thing that is not God? We ask God to fill Cluny with His Holy Healing Presence, like water finding empty spaces, from the top of his head to the tip of his toes, from the tips of his left fingers to the tips of his right fingers, & front to back. Lord fill every cell, every atom, every nook & cranny up to overflowing with healing in his heart, mind, body, soul & spirit. And Lord it is only for your glory that we even ask. Lord, you promised where 2 agree they shall have anything they ask & we're asking for this now.
We love you & praise you Jesus for you alone are worthy to be praised. AMEN
---fay on 6/25/10

Praise God for that testimony, Cluny. That's awesome!
---Linda on 6/25/10

||Don't twist my words. I never said God could not heal. I just don't want to be around when the manic or schizophrenic is taken off meds, and that person is not one of those healed immediately.||

I believe that God heals. Most of the time He works through medicine or other natural processes.

But this does not mean He doesn't (for His purposes and reasons and at His time) heal directly, too.

I am experiencing such a progressive healing, myself.

Two years ago, my kidney function was only 19%. At 15, dialysis is started.

To make a long story short, even though I had the AV fistula put it to make a port, my KF started improving (after being anointed) to nearly 50% today.

Just high enough to puzzle doubters.
---Cluny on 6/25/10

To all those who find it so hard to believe, I really do understand! You have not seen the miracles in your life so how can you believe, right? I pray you find a way to think it possible because I'm telling you I have seen them. I am not saying that every prayer is answered right away, but remember James said if we waver we receive nothing. So we must believe even when it is not seen, until we do see. By all means, if you have not yet acquired enough faith to quit meds, then you should take them. My point is that meds are only a man made coping agent. NOT a cure. Jesus is the cure.

Look for Part 2
---fay on 6/25/10

The Part 2 you're Looking for:

I know if you have never seen anyone cured from mental illness it is hard to accept, but you found the faith to accept the fact that Jesus died for your sins & what a difference that made in your life. When you accept the fact that he also wants everyone healed, that too, will make a profound difference in your life. You will be free from man's remedies & you will rely only on Jesus. Now, before you take offense & become defensive let me tell you I never claimed to be God! I do not listen to anyone who does. I really don't want to name people or ministries who claim things contrary to God's infallable Word. That would be sowing discord, not God's Will.

Part 3 Coming Soon
---fay on 6/25/10

LOOK HERE for Part 3

Please don't group me in with those who do. I am not saying I am perfect But that I would like to be. As a matter of fact I have yet to find a group of people I fit in with enough to be a member. I will worship there & enjoy fellowship.

If anyone knows what it's like to live on meds it's me & my boys. The more meds they took the more they needed. At 10 yrs old they were on 4 different meds for ADHD & Bipolar? It was so sad. One tried to slice his throat continually & the other kept arranging a rope for hanging on the porch. So sad!!! I would NEVER go back to meds!!! In talking about this, my only aim is to inform you God does care. I command that enemy GONE from our lives, FOREVER!!! AMEN!!!
---fay on 6/25/10

//Linda: It's not my heart, but my brain that is wired wrong. Again, would you tell a diabetic to stop taking insulin?//

Ok, Trish. Fine. I believe the heart has a lot to do with the bodily function, but that is going to be neither here nor there with you. The Word says that bitterness is rottenness to the BONES, which happen to be the place where blood cells begin. Just using this as an example though, lest you think I am suggesting you are bitter or anything else. I'm not.
---Linda on 6/25/10

Linda: It's not my heart, but my brain that is wired wrong. Again, would you tell a diabetic to stop taking insulin?

I totally know that I am a beloved child of God, and that I am seen by Him with love and compassion.

You just seem to be lacking in understanding about chemistry. Telling a bipolar or schizophrenic that they don't need meds is downright dangerous. Needing meds does not negate God's healing power and love.
---Trish9863 on 6/25/10

I am sorry Trish about what you are dealing with. Please don't take my zeal regarding healing and think I am without compassion. You have a wounded heart, a stronghold, a place of rejection or hurt that needs healed by the light of God. I sincerely pray that, even in the midst of being on medication, your heart is healed. God loves you with an everlasting love. You are accepted in the Beloved. His plans for you are to prosper you and give you an expected end. You are chosen. God has drawn a circle around you and said, "I want her." You are blessed and highly favored, deeply loved, and desired by the King. He longs for your presence more than you do His. You are His delight and He sings over you.
---Linda on 6/24/10

I just want to say I absolutely love Prov 4:20-22. And thank you for recognizing my unbelief in the medical profession. Yes, I am thoroughly convinced. There is no turning back. This is the door no man can close. Thank you & thank you Jesus!
---fay on 6/24/10

Linda & Fay

How would you best heal a man whose leg has been crushed in an industrial accident?

Would God answer your prayer fro the leg to be made whole? I suspect you will say that God expects us in such cases to go to a man to whom He has given the skills to repair the leg.

Where is the line to be drawn between mending a smashed body, and mending a broken brain?
---alan8566_of_uk on 6/25/10

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When I start to feel a little achy, I immediately go to the Lord. Depending on how quickly that I detect illness and go to the Lord is how quickly it leaves.

Conversely, thirteen years ago, when I suffered a severe head injury, I contracted the 'old man's' toe fungus. At the time, the medicine was very expensive and could do liver damage. So, I wanted to keep the remaining body parts I had (and my money), so for many years I prayed with all sincerity. Last year, I talked to a doctor, because of the discomfort, and he said the meds were much more safe, and they cost $10. Not copay,,,that was the total.

Now, I am fungi free, I have not lost my liver, and my faith is still growing everyday (instead of the fungi).
---aka.joseph on 6/25/10

Donna and Trish,
In my experience, if healing does not happen after prayer with one with the gift of healing, it is either because the one needing healing does not have enough faith or the healing is somewhere out there on its way.

The latter flies in the face of Scripture and the former does not make sense. If the person asks someone to pray for them to Jesus, doesn't that mean that they indeed have enough faith?

Also, in the Bible, what faith did the demoniac or lunatic show? Yet, they were delivered. and Paul had to endure his "thorns" and he went straight to the Father.
---aka.joseph on 6/25/10

More of the teachings of the Word of Faith teachers:
1. When a person is born again they experience exactly what happened to Jesus. Their satanic nature is replaced by God's divine nature. The transformation is so identical to Jesus transformation that Christians become little gods and are as much an incarnation of God as was Jesus.
2. Because Christians are "little gods" they now have access to the "God kind of faith," which can be used to get virtually anything they want. Christians rather then God, have authority in the earth over satan and sickness and disease. Consequently, believer should never pray God's will be done." cited by Frederick K.C. Price
Exactly what Linda and Fay teach.
---Mark_V. on 6/25/10

Linda: I did not know you have a medical degree, in addition to a Biblical degree. Your expertise obviously outweighs any of the doctors or other professionals I have worked with both personally, as well as professionally.

Don't twist my words. I never said God could not heal. I just don't want to be around when the manic or schizophrenic is taken off meds, and that person is not one of those healed immediately.

My brother walked in front of a bus when his meds were not stable. When he finally got stable, his Christian counselor helped him tremendously, and insisted he stay on his meds. That counselor sees my nephew, and insists he stay on his meds.
---Trish9863 on 6/24/10

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Donna: Thanks for the heads up. I did not realize that I was discussing intelligently with someone who lacks the ability to reason wisely.

---Trish9863 on 6/24/10

I give Scripture, Donna, and you fight it. Again, your problem is not with me. I will not engage myself with you any longer on this matter since you twist what I say according to what you believe I am saying. You can't seem to conquer the thought processes that consistently cause you to misquote me. Trish, I didn't say MY better way. I gave you Scripture too...and that passage of Scripture reveals HIS better way. Did you read it? Some of those medications (if not all) have suicidal thoughts as a side effect...and that is not the only side effect. They only mask symptoms and cause more without dealing with the root problem. It seems odd to me that Scripture appears to you both to be something fallible instead of something worth believing.
---Linda on 6/24/10

Trish9863 --
You'll never convince Linda or fay of the value of medical treatment. They know better.

Linda is convinced because of scriptures like the following :
"I do nothing except I reveal it to my servants, the prophets". And
"for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you"....
That her judgment is infallable, since she knows what God knows.

No one will convince her otherwise, until she comes up against a situation where all her supposed knowledge fails, her "speaking" and "receiving" change nothing....I think that only when she faces reality herself, will she question these doctrines she has been taught.
---Donna66 on 6/24/10

Linda: Your better way is not THE better way. A believer can get better while on meds, in therapy, working with the doctors. I know that whenever I have tried to go off my meds I got sicker. Depression and mania are not pretty, and are caused by chemistry, not a lack of faith.

Again, is it a better way for a diabetic to stop taking insulin? If not, why would it be a better way for a bipolar patient to not take meds? Both are body chemistry issues.
---Trish9863 on 6/24/10

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// My need for meds does not negate my faith in Christ. //

Again, I am misquoted. Never told anybody not to go to doctor, take meds, or anything else. I said there is a better way.

//I'll take God's medicine every time.It's free of charge, AND No side effects with God, either.//

Amen, and it works every time. "My son, attend to my words, incline thine ears to my sayings, let them not depart from thine eyes, keep them in the midst of your heart, for they are life to them that FIND THEM and HEALTH to ALL their FLESH."
---Linda on 6/24/10

Hey Linda, don't let the god of unbelief get under your crawl. I agree with everything you said. I have very good reasons for disbelieving in the medical profession. Many which I cannot state on here. Most people get into the world's medicine for the money. I'll take God's medicine every time.It's free of charge, AND No side effects with God, either.
---fay on 6/24/10

Linda: You can believe your no-med faith rule, but I disagree, or I would not be in the mental health business. I have suffered as a child of a mentally ill mother, and have seen my own need for medications. My need for meds does not negate my faith in Christ. Chemical imbalance is not a faith issue, but a health issue. Would you tell a diabetic to not take insulin? Would you tell a cancer patient to not seek radiation or chemotherapy? I hope not.
---Trish9863 on 6/24/10

Rhonda, you mis quoted the passage you gave in 2 Cor. 4:4. You did what Linda does, mis quote passages and apply your own interpretation and meaning to the passage.
"But even if our gospel is veiled, it is vieled to those who are perishing, whose minds the god of this age has blinded, who do not believe lest the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ who is the image of God, should shine on them"
The blindness here is about spiritual blindness. And he is talking about unbelievers blindness to Christ. For the light of the gospel hasn't shine on them. It is speaking about salvation, not about the physical body having some kind of sickness. Or physical blindness. Wrong again. So Linda is also wrong.
---Mark_V. on 6/24/10

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// I have had conversations with psychotic people and manic people, and there is no reasoning with them, until their medications get them stablized.//

The Bible doesn't agree with you. You are right you cannot reason with them, but you aren't when it comes to them having to be on medication to be delivered. Here it is:

Mark 5:1-15
The man with the Legion (insane by the world's definition) sees Jesus from AFAR OFF and runs to worship Him. Jesus asks for a name and receives an answer of "Legion", who begs not to be sent into the pit. Jesus casts Legion into the swine and they had sense enough to run off the cliff. No medication....just simply seeing Jesus was enough to begin the deliverance process.
---Linda on 6/24/10

Linda: I am well aware of the need for a person to understand their identity in Christ, and "Be transformed by the renewing of their mind," Romans 12. I also know that unless a person is stable with medication, all the scripture in the world will be meaningless to them. I have had conversations with psychotic people and manic people, and there is no reasoning with them, until their medications get them stablized. Try it sometime. You will understand there is a huge difference between labels and diagnoses. A good Christian therapist wants their patients stablized on meds so that therapy can be effective.
---Trish9863 on 6/23/10

Rhonda, I think you might be right, the world's labels for peoples behaviours often do influence wrong actions.

I have seen this with counsellors who often are devoid of any scriptural knowledge and cause so much damage through their worldly "wisdom" that they are best avoided. And considering how messed up most counsellors are and their inability to deal with their own issues, is it any wonder they cause so much damage.

Isa6:9 says God is our counsellor so as Christians we should focus on God's word for direction and perspective.
---Haz27 on 6/23/10

Linda: I have worked with the mentally ill for four years, in a psychiatric hospital, as well as have my own diagnosis. Without an accurate diagnosis, the hands of the psychiatrists are tied in being able to adequately help the patients with proper medication. You cannot give anti-psychotics to a depressed person and expect them to get better. You can't give anti-depressants to a psychotic schizophrenic who is hearing command hallucinations, and expect the voices they hear to go away. So, your "labeling" is necessary to allow proper treatment of serious mental illnesses. Plus, with the correct diagnosis, the therapists can write up a treatment plan that addresses the symptoms and problems each patient experiences.
---Trish9863 on 6/23/10

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it's not often people understand how labeling influences the WRONG actions

thank you for the scripture you shared to bring light to this

many cannot comprehend they can be free of the bonds of any mind influence of the god of this world 2Corin 4:4

the world labels ITS "conditions" of the mind

Holy Scripture states those who have the Holy Spirit working in their lives are of SOUND MIND

either believe the Word of God or Medical Science
---Rhonda on 6/23/10

Mark, you didn't read what I wrote in all the posts I made concerning this, but that is fine. I refuse to engage you because engage means a marriage at some point. I will not join with your constant twisting of what I said, your use of Scripture as long as it supports your belief and your misuse when it doesn't, nor your doubt concerning healing. You are free to move on, if you really want to.
---Linda on 6/23/10

Linda, do you really believe all that garbish? So what you are implying is that the billions of people who die since Adam, just died. No decease, no perticular cancers, no one was really depressed who killed themselves or no schizophrenic or no bi-polar." In other words, there is a renaming by us. It is all in the mind because it is not in Scripture. Do you really believe that the only way it could be true is if God gave us every detail of everyone's death through generations in order for it to be true? God gave us a brain, for us to put the pieces together. Gave us the Holy Spirit to know this things by faith. He is not going to give every detail. Again you try to twist religiously to prove your false claims.
---Mark_V. on 6/23/10

I didn't say they didn't exist, at least emotionally, but confusion will always seek to name a believer a name that reflects the god of this world. See Daniel chapter 1. Instead of saying, "She has bouts of depression or mood swings", the world (and most believers) say, "She IS depressed or she is schizophrenic or she is bi-polar." In other words, there is a renaming of the individual to reflect the symptom instead of the symptom being affected by the name given by God (accepted, loved, chosen, seated, alive to God, dead to sin, etc.) The old saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" is totally wrong. They frame your perspective and can change another's environment.
---Linda on 6/22/10

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Linda: I never said David had a mid-life crisis. I said he experienced emotions, just as the world did.

As for using a world-coined phrase, in my one career, I use a lot of phrases that are not in the Bible. That does not mean they don't exist. Bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, obsessive compulsive disorder, polysubstance abuse, dissociative identity disorder, schizoaffective disorder, hypomania, depression, alcoholism, eating disorder, etc.

According to your argument, these things do not exist, because they are world coined, and not in the Bible either.
---Trish9863 on 6/22/10

// Many people experience a mid-life crisis as believers and it does not mean we are not right with God.//

I sure wish you would tell me where I said someone experiencing differing ranges of emotions meant they are "not right with God". I never said that. Being right with God has to do with what Jesus did and your acceptance of that. You may believe differently, but that doesn't change that eternal truth. If you can find "mid-life crisis" or anyone who experienced it in the Bible, please let me know. Discouragement, persecution, fear, etc. are found but there was a reason for them. Read the passages you cite and find the reasons before you determine David had one and attempt to justify a world coined phrase.
---Linda on 6/22/10

a mid life crisis?

the world has a term for every imaginable thing mankind can do to themselves or others

I guess because you have determined it is a midlife crisis you have also determined it's just a "stage" as many women with little or no self respect do today

godly men do not sneak around on their wives

men who are LOST will

seek counseling for YOURSELF first so you have the courage to BE GOOD ENOUGH and respect yourself ...then courage to confront your husband and this women DEMANDING they discontinue and she removes herself from all contact with him

then have him get counseling so you can both learn to communicate again
---Rhonda on 6/21/10

Amen, Haz27. The operative words you spoke being, "We lose sight of the fact we wrestle against not against flesh and blood...."

The truth is in our spirit man. The battlefield is the mind. Too often, man will seek out something to allay the symptoms and not really deal with the root cause of them. Wounds in the heart, false images of Father God because of bad experiences with earthly fathers, improper views of the work Christ completed and what that means to us.....all of those things are high things that exalt themselves above the knowledge of God. If one's view of life is not in line with the truth, taking that view and making it the standard of "reality" isn't going to help.
---Linda on 6/20/10

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Linda: Twist it any way you want. I posted in reply to your statement about believers not feeling like the world does, and I responded to that, even quoted you in my last post. David experienced every range of emotion and wrote about it. As believers we can feel those same emotions to some extent or other. Many people experience a mid-life crisis as believers and it does not mean we are not right with God.
---Trish9863 on 6/20/10

Trish, you never mentioned the provision in your original response. You merely supported a term coined by the world to support what you think. You can use King David as an example if you want to, but David never suffered a "mid-life" crisis. The range of emotions he wrote about had to do with those who were out to kill him unjustly, not some strange syndrome that just came on him for no reason.
---Linda on 6/20/10

Linda, you are right that we are aliens and we should meditate on God's word as God is our counsellor Isa9:6.

Even as Christians we will face trials in our life but God tells us to stand strong in Him and the power if His might and to put on the whole armour of God that we may stand strong against the wiles of the devil Eph6:10-18. Often we Christians lose sight of the fact that we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities, powers, rulers of darkness of this world and spiritual wickedness in high places.
---Haz27 on 6/20/10

Linda: Your exact words were this: "We may be in the world but we are not of it and should not be a people who look like, feel like, or act like the world." All I was saying was that David had the same feelings as the world. I am fully aware that David processed his feelings and came out praising God. We do not know how long it took him to write one of his psalms.

A person can enter a mid-life crisis with conflicted emotions and come out praising the Lord as well. You missed my whole point.
---Trish9863 on 6/20/10

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Trish, read the same Psalms and see what David did about those emotions. He praised the God of Israel and trusted in His Word. I don't deny people go through those things, but those things have a root cause that is dealt a death blow by the death and resurrection of Christ. Renewing of the mind is important. What you give your meditation to will affect your life, and meditation on the Word prospers you and you have good success. That doesn't sound anything like depressed, afraid, sorrowful, etc. There is real hope, not just a battery of ideas that deal with the surface issue and never touch the wounded heart or renew the mind. I do live in the real world. My citizenship is in heaven and I am an alien here. That is what is real.
---Linda on 6/19/10

Linda: Obviously, you are spiritually grounded and emotionally stable. Good for you. I live in the real world, and have worked in the real world. Christians do suffer from fear, anxiety, and depression, and sometimes these things are part of different life stages. I have also worked in psychiatric hospitals and have met God loving believers who have suffered mentally.

Being fearful, or suffering emotionally during different stages in life does not reflect bad Christianity. It reflects being real.

Study the Psalms. David was the apple of God's eye, yet he went through a torrent of emotions, and experienced fear, throughout many of those Psalms.
---Trish9863 on 6/19/10

Darline, great words of wisdom. That is great advice. Sometimes a little change does the job. The same should be for the man. First thing is to take a shower. Many man just put it off until later and then forget to take one. Cleansing the body is a must. Second, the should stop looking for perfection in the spouse. Aging happens, we should overlook that, years of hard works and much pressure changes a persons looks. Just one touch now and then does wonders to the other person. They know you are thinking of them.
---Mark_V. on 6/19/10

Isaiah 54:14
In righteousness shalt thou be established: thou shalt be far from oppression, for thou shalt not fear: and from terror, for it shall not come near thee.

Trish, it can exist and still not be God or godly. We may be in the world but we are not of it and should not be a people who look like, feel like, or act like the world. My conversation is in heaven. If the things of the world are coming upon you, the word is the authority and foundation we need to believe. The Word changes all of it. I am 45. No mid-life crisis here...or anything that remotely sounds or looks like it. My husband either.
---Linda on 6/19/10

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Linda: What is there to believe in? It happens, so you are denying reality. Not all people act stupid during a mid-life crisis. Some improve their situations. There are various times in people's lives where they reflect on what is occurring that they have accomplished, and mid-life is a big one. It is reality, whether you believe in it or not. It is called a crisis, because in some cases men suffer extreme depression or panic over their lives.
---Trish9863 on 6/19/10

I personally do not believe in mid-life crisis. I believe it is a world-coined phrase to excuse stupid actions arising from the carnal mind. However, a God-ordained time to reflect on our lives sounds good. I don't believe that God would wait that long to convict a man of that though. He is interested in redeeming the time, not waiting until middle-age to bring reflection. Remember thy Creator in the days of thy youth. I will go on to say we should reflect like that every day and go a little further to say that we might reflect on Christ and Him crucified to make sure what is reflecting is what is supposed to be reflecting. If I want His life to manifest, I would need to reflect on Him. Meditation on His Word = good success.
---Linda on 6/18/10


I find myself agreeing with your commentary.

Perhaps a mid-life crisis is a God-given "time out" for men to reflect upon their lives and to see how well they are fulfilling the Will of God...not unlike the mid-afternoon slump where one must consider whether or not to have another cup of Joe, hit the gym, or take a nap. It is a time of self-reflection, a time set aside for an internal audit and should be used as a tool to better one's servitude to The Almighty.

I think it is the "Great Crossroads" - a time to see where we have been and to see where we need to go. If we look at the great crossroads through the eyes of discipleship instead of carnality, we will be blessed.
---Higgins on 6/16/10

A friend of mine, a Christian clinical psychologist who does marriage counselling tells those clients, "Most counsellors have more than one marriage in their lives, and have an agenda, though they don't say it. I will admit up front I have an agenda: to do all in my power to keep you two together and reconciled."
---Cluny on 6/16/10

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Some here are suggesting counselling for marital difficulties but reality is that even within that industry counsellors are seen as very damaging and best avoided. Psychologists even say that counsellors lack sufficient training and hence cause much damage. But then counsellors counter-claim that psychologists are just as bad.

Isa9:6 tells us that God is our counsellor and that's the best you can get. Trust in His word.
---Haz27 on 6/15/10

It's time to get joint Christian counseling.
---Alan on 6/14/10

Thank you for the correction Cluny.
In my experience, not being a follower of Jesus Christ at the time of My Mid Life Crisis, the Mid Life Crisis for me, was a cross road.
But I do believe that if Christian Man is going through it, in it is a corrective message to them from God, that message being not to rely so heavily upon the world for their Joy, and to rely more on God.
---David on 6/11/10

\\The Mid life Crisis is a crossroad in your life.
Which road shall I take, the one I have been on, or the one that leads to Calvary?
If one has a Mid Life Crisis, it is because they are still in the world.
---David on 6/10/10\\

I will disagree. MLC's seem to be part of male experience, and Christian men are NOT exempt from them.

Had I not gone through mine with the courage that God gave me and acted upon it, I would not have the blessings I know now.

And trust me, they are NOT financial ones, as I'm on disability.

But through my MLC, I learned more about dependence on God and His provision than I had my previous 40 years.
---Cluny on 6/10/10

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What is a Mid life crisis?
The Mid Life crisis, was what brought me to Jesus Christ.
I experienced this crisis on my 41st birthday.
On that Day I looked around and realized that I had every material possession that I had ever wanted, and yet for some reason I still felt empty.
I searched for something that would put the Joy back into my life. I then got down on my knees and asked God to show me the way.
Since that day, he has provided me with a sustainable Joy, that the material things of this world could not.
The Mid life Crisis is a crossroad in your life.
Which road shall I take, the one I have been on, or the one that leads to Calvary?
If one has a Mid Life Crisis, it is because they are still in the world.
---David on 6/10/10

Cluny: You are right. I jumped to the conclusion that the emotional affair and the midlife crisis, which can usually go together, could lead to the end of a marriage. Sorry for that assumption.
---Trish9863 on 6/8/10

\\Get into marital therapy and discuss his childish behavior, and ask him if he wants to continue being married, or act like a fool and chase women.
---Trish9863 on 6/8/10\\

And, of course, there's NO chance whatever that Patches is acting foolishly and childishly and totally misinterpreting her husband's actions, is there?

Before we determine this, it might be nice to know just what Patches means by "emotional affair."
---Cluny on 6/8/10

As a Christian woman,you're good enough for God to love,you are good enough for mortal man. If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, change it. Get yourself a cute nightgown,bathe,put on perfume,do your hair,fix your face,when he gets on the computer go in there,pull up a chair and sit as close as possible. After all it is physical attraction which drew him to you in the first place. Rekindle the flame of love you had in your early relationship. Before you do all that pray that God will move on him to remember why he loves you and his desire for you. Also that closeness chases away any misplaced attention and desire for that woman online. Ladies it isn't a sin to pray, then do everything you can to seduce your own husband.
---Darlene_1 on 6/8/10

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Tell him you both need to seek out a marriage counsellor. This needs to be brought out in the open and resolved.

Did he tell you he is having an emotional affair? and what exactly is that? Is he exchanging emails with another woman? Did you ask him if he's planning on cheating on you?

You two need to go to a marriage counsellor together and work this out.
---Donna5535 on 6/8/10

Get into marital therapy and discuss his childish behavior, and ask him if he wants to continue being married, or act like a fool and chase women.
---Trish9863 on 6/8/10

What do you mean by "emotional affair"?

Maybe he's being tempted, howsoever strong the temptation. If this is the case, he really needs your support and love. Remember, you're not above temptation yourself. None of us are.

And if it's a mid-life crisis, remember that YOU didn't cause it, any more than husbands cause menopause. It seems to be something that almost all men go through in one form or another.

And in this case, he STILL needs your love and support.

Remind him that you're there for him.

And remind yourself of that: frequently.
---Cluny on 6/8/10

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