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No Father's Day Visit

Man has 4 children. None of them come to see him on Father's Day. One lives out of town. Any opinions?

Moderator - Sounds like a bad relationship with their dad.

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 ---Robyn on 6/26/10
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Robyn, I was agreeing with you really. And you are right, there is so call Christians that act worse then the unsave. That should give you a clue. I see that all the time here on line. Some say they are prophets and others teachers, and the things that come out of their mouths is nothing but hate, pride, slander remarks. My family didn't have to response to my actions, but I believe that God was working through it all. Could be that is why I was chosen, so that others would hear the word through me. All I can do is depend upon God, learn as much as I can, and conduct myself as the New Testament calls me to do. The Spirit will move me to do a lot of things, but I also have to be willing to cooperated. Thanks Robyn for your answer.
---Mark_V. on 7/14/10

Mark V: I do agree. But in the end it is up to the individual people. Christians are not super human. We hurt and feel the same thing that the unsaved does. The unsaved have their part to do,also. I have Christians in my family who are no different from the unsaved. I call on them to display godly behavior and they act as if I have asked the impossible of them. In the end people do what they want to do. The unsaved do not like Christians. They feel christians are phony and want to be better than others etc...Christians do not rate high on a lot of people's list. The unsaved love putting Christians down and bringing up their pasts. Communication breaks down at this point. Religion divides people. But also has the power to bring people together.
---Robyn on 7/14/10

Robyn, I was one of the first that God saved in the family. The family through the years separated because incidents that happened many years before. I made it my duty to connect with everyone after I was saved. At first I was asked by one brother, 'why I was calling'?
And I told him, because he was my brother and I loved him and wanted to know him and family better. First he didn't sound to happy, but later I won him over with love. I did the same to my uncle's. For the first time, they all starting calling each other and talking. Through all this God was able to save many in my mom's family, including my mom. If one of us who is born of the Spirit makes an effort, God, through the Spirit can work in our family's lives.
---Mark_V. on 7/11/10

Cluny: Again. If a question does not appeal to you. Don't give your opinion. Spiritual or otherwise. That's simple to do. Everything does not have to be spiritual. Sometimes people just want to communicate with others. We as Christians need to guard against making everything so spiritual. Why not just be real and be a friend to someone. Take the time to show love and compassion toward others. It can be done,even on a site such as this one. A thought for today--if you will. Blessings to all
---Robyn on 7/8/10

\\Regardless of the problems in the past I think family should stick together.\\

While demons rejoice in family strife and angels rejoice in family harmony and reconciliation, are you an actual member of this family?

Of course, I've seen men and women inserting themselves between their spouses and parents-in-law in my life--too many times.

**. Is it the father's fault or just rotten kids?**

I'm surprised God doesn't fill you in on all the juicy details, catherine.
---Cluny on 7/7/10

Details to question:Children are grown with kids of their own. Ages 41(lives out of town)Came to visit two days after Fathers day. Daughter is 37,son is 39. son is 29(half brother). One half brother is deceased(26). There have been divorce between 3 older kids mom and the father. Two half brothers from second marriage. Regardless of the problems in the past I think family should stick together. There will never be any real solutions to problems of this nature. I was just wanting others opinions. Thanks for all who commented. God bless.
---Robyn on 7/5/10

Well, I usually have one: Love has waxed cold toward the end of time. Is it the father's fault or just rotten kids? I mean, it is sad. We ought to treat our elderly parents with respect, no matter. At least give them a call, now and then. Right, Jesus?
---catherine on 7/3/10

Robyn, unless you are the man or one of his children, do you or anyone else here know enough about this situation to have a worthwhile opinion?

Soliciting opinions in such cases is nothing but gossip.
---Cluny on 7/3/10

Cluny: you do not have to offer an opinion, at all. I am doing what everyone else, here is doing. Asking questions and seeking opinions. If people like you do not like this type thing. Why bother blogging? You may see and hear any type questions when you come to these type sites. I have honestly tried to help,counsel and give helpful insight and opinions to others. The tables do turn,sometimes.I seek help and opinions from others. No one has all of the answers,all of the time. I do pray and talk to the Father as well. But i also like to be social and interact with others. You got a problem with that. Ignore the question.
---Robyn on 7/2/10

\\ In the winter, she refuses to keep the thermostat above 60 degrees, and I have fibromyalgia, and physically ache because of the cold in the winter.\\

I understand about fibro. Fr. Brendan who posts here suffers terribly with it.

I know when the weather does weird things, especially being both rainy and cold, my gout acts up. Fortunately, Arizona has a good climate for gout.

I don't know how old your mother is, but I do know that towards the end of my father's life, he frequently would bundle up during the summer even, and induce fevers.
---Cluny on 7/1/10

Trish9863, I'm sorry, this has to be a hard place to be. At least you see her when she is in town. My heart goes out to you both, and I will be praying for you both.
---a_friend on 7/1/10

Friend: An hour long visit to her home would not be possible. She would get more upset that I don't stay longer. She gets angry and manipulative.

Her behavior and mental illness negatively affect my mental health. I suffer the same illness as her, so I try to avoid conflicts with her as much as possible. I see her when she is in town, but I do not venture to her town. Too difficult and painful for me.
---Trish9863 on 6/30/10

Trish9863, I understand all that, but you should really try to spend an hour or so with her as often as you can for your sake as well as hers. with her being mentally ill makes me really believe you should even more so..Because when she is gone you will ask yourself over and over why didn't I visit and help her more. I ask myself that about my own Mom and Dad a lot. I did for them, but still think now I could have done more..Remember, there is no going back in time. I'm not saying put your heath at risk, just try to spend time with her, and love on her now while you still can. Maybe at times you can take her out to eat and spend time that way. May God bless your realationship with her!
---a_friend on 6/30/10

Dear Robyn:

You did not mention how old his children are?

Do they live with their mother? Is it a divorce scenario?

If it is a divorce thing, it is not uncommon for mothers to withhold the children from their father or poison the waterhole such that the children may not want to be around him.

But, who knows? Not enough information to even wager a guess. Sorry.
---Higgins on 6/30/10

I visit my mother while she is in town. We talk a lot on the phone when she is at home. I have other issues about visiting her. I have asthma, and she refuses to replace her air conditioner, which broke two years ago. When I was at her house that time, I kept having asthma attacks because of the lack of air, as it was brutally hot and her house was stuffy. In the winter, she refuses to keep the thermostat above 60 degrees, and I have fibromyalgia, and physically ache because of the cold in the winter. Up until a few months ago, I worked weekends, which made it impossible to go there.

I have mourned the fact that she was mentally ill all my life, and unable to have a stable relationship with most everyone.
---Trish9863 on 6/29/10

Trish9863, I hope you don't mean that. bitter or not.. once your Mother is gone, shes gone, and you will never be able to visit her gain. You don't know it right now, but there will come a day when you will want to go see her, and won't be able to.
---a_friend on 6/29/10

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I love my mother, and I believe she loves me. I have trouble being in the same room with her, due to our history of fighting that goes back to my teenage years. She is great at button pushing, because she installed every button I have that can be pushed to get me into an argument with her, over the stupidest stuff.

Last year, she told me never to darken her doorstep because of an argument that I was trying to leave the room to get some space and she did not want me to leave. We have spoken since then, but the next time I go to her house, which is two hours away, it will be for her funeral, because I am not going back there while she is alive. I am not bitter, just cautious.
---Trish9863 on 6/29/10

My sister held a grudge against my father for 20 years straight. My father died and went to his grave not knowing I went and got her at her home to come and see dad die.

She refused and made a fuss and showed up at the hospital the next day, but then it was too late. He had already went unconsciouis and into a coma and died shortly thereafter.

My sister suffers from such guilt, it isn't funny.

Don't ever let a grudge keep you or anyone from seeing someone you love. Forgive them for life is too short to hold grudges. You will miss them when they die - my sister suffers from extreme guilt now and it's too late to forgive my father like I did. She is as bitter as bitter can be and it's sooo sad.
---Donna5535 on 6/29/10

Fathers day is a man made holiday, not by God as one of his holy days, therefore they are personal choices whether or not to celebrate it. If they had a bad relationship then I suppose they donot want to communicate. We do not know the whole situation so it is best not to speculate.
---candice on 6/27/10

My opinion is that the father wasn't a very good one.
---KarenD on 6/27/10

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It's not only you.Kids today live for own self. On fathers day make special plans for yourself. It's not like it use to be honoring thy mother and father.
You have to find friends that you can communicate with so that your children won't hurt you as much. If you go out and they call that night fine, if not you had a nice time with a companion.
I'm looking for pen pals now that I can email and talk to, other wise I am very lonely because I don't like going places by myself.
Hope things get better for you.
---ann on 6/27/10

I really think it is so sad when children won't honor their parents with at least a phone call. It isn't a very good Christian testimony to not honor them, even if they haven't been all you think they should be. Since it is the death of Christ that reconciled man to God, the outworking of that in the believer's life will seek to reconcile relationships to one another. That doesn't mean you trust those who have hurt you in the past. It simply means you forgive them as God in Christ has forgiven you. I am not sure there is enough information in this question to "give counsel", but I can't imagine the hurt of a father whose own children won't acknowledge him.
---Linda on 6/27/10

Jesus gave us a teaching about building our House on the Rock.
In this teaching, the House that Jesus referred to is our relationship with God.
Building a relationship with God is really not that much different, than how we build a relationship with our own children or for that matter, any relationship.

Any lasting relationship must have a strong foundation.
The strength of our relationship with God is founded upon us following the teachings of Jesus Christ. (John 14:21)
In the Lords teachings, Jesus tells us what we must do to gain the favor of God and those things which bring us into disfavor.

When developing strong relationships, we should learn to follow this model.
---David on 6/27/10

Why are we called upon to have an opinion--and why are you soliciting them?
---Cluny on 6/27/10

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