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Am I Being Jealous

There is a particular lady that usually calls my husband and seeks advice from him alone. When I try to be friendly to her she does not tell me anything about herself. I have confronted my husband but this has not stopped them and in fact he says I am being jealous. Is whatever he is doing right?

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 ---Sel on 7/16/10
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Something is not right about this picture. First off, if what you are stating is true, you are not being jealous. My question is what are the ages of this woman and your husband? Is he meeting her alone or in the company of someone else? How often does she call? Has he done this type of thing before? Why does it have to be a face-to-face meeting? (There are methods of communicating without meeting the person. Telephone, e mail, etc.) If nothing else, he should stop meeting her just because you ask him too.
---wivv on 9/16/10

I think it is not right for her to contact him about advice, most of the time women contact women and men contact men, I'm not saying anything bad is going on, but something isn't right, men do not see things wrong like that, but women catch on fast, you should tell him to tell her to seek professional help
---amanda on 9/3/10

He should show the uttermost respect for you as his wife and to say that you have a problem is a way of telling you to have one...

If he will not show you the respect you deserve it won't be long befor the true reason to his hurting words manifests itself.

Speak to him and tell him he's making you feel this way and that if he truely loved you he would not make you feel so insecure.

midlife crisis rings a bell!
---Carla on 9/1/10

You know if you are being jealous or not..but that aside, he should not be talking with her without you. I would be thinking she is up to no good if he is the only one she is calling on..there is something up on her part. You have every right to tell him to put a stop to this.
---a_friend on 7/16/10

\\If it's a professional relationship--he's a counsellor perhaps, or maybe they are discussing serious matters of work--then these are clearly professional counsellors.\\

I meant to say "professional confidences."
---Cluny on 7/16/10

A man should never counsel a woman alone even if he is a pastor. A woman should never counsel a man alone either. This woman should be calling another woman for counseling. It may be that she has other motives for contacting your husband. It is also possible that he enjoys the attention of her calling him.
---KarenD on 7/16/10

You've not clarified the relationship between your husband and this lady.

If it's a professional relationship--he's a counsellor perhaps, or maybe they are discussing serious matters of work--then these are clearly professional counsellors.

In other words, you've not made it clear WHY this lady is constantly seeking your husband's advice.

Maybe if you were to explain this, we could give you more help.
---Cluny on 7/16/10

I was going to say the same thing aka.joseph did. If you turn the tables, you will find out where the rotten tomatoes are really coming from. What is a simple right according to him becomes a major problem if you make it your right also. I have seen situations where what was good for the goose was not good for the gander...and the reason was because the goose had intimate knowledge of what goes on and really didn't like it too much when his gander became "as loose as a goose". When innocence becomes the object of accusation, it is because the accuser is looking in the mirror.
---Linda on 7/16/10

He is definitely showing a lack of Godly wisdom. This is a seed bed of temptation. The enemy is using her to isolate him from you. If you are both in ministry, any counseling with women should come through you alone or with both of you present...or if you don't counsel, then through you as your husband guides. His accusation of jealousy is really denoting a conscience problem on his side as he is defensive concerning his right to continue the relationship with her despite the command of God to love you as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her. I am sorry, but I know where this is going if it hasn't already gone there.
---Linda on 7/16/10

I just wrote this in another blog, but I thought it appropriate here, too.

1 Corinthians 10:23
All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not.

1. appropriate, advisable, or useful in a situation that requires action
2. advantageous for practical rather than moral reasons

edify - enlighten: to improve the morals or knowledge of somebody

Obviously, this is not an edifying situation for you and is not a jealousy thing.

But, anyway, what is wrong with reasonable jealousy. Protection over your own family is reasonable. Let the situation be reversed, and see who is unreasonably jealous.
---aka.joseph on 7/16/10

No you're not being jealous,you're wise not to trust the situation to be harmless and he isn't right at all. He's wrong. Unless he's a Pastor or Counselor and its part of his job he shouldn't do it with women and even a Pastor should have a witness when he does it. Your husband is commiting emotional adultry,and the woman is practicing emotional and time robbery. Your husbands emotions and time should be yours above all others. That woman,more than likely,is trying to steal your husband. Don't be friendly,confront her,tell her to leave your husband alone you are wise to her tricks. If she has a husband tell him whats going on. Don't be passive and expect your husband to stop,he is getting his ego stroked and he likes it. Pray,for strength.
---Darlene_1 on 7/16/10

NO, you are not being jealous, and NO, what your husband is doing is NOT right.

It sounds like he might be purposely leaving you "in the dark" so that he can hide something. On the other side of the coin, I could be wrong.

Your husband's behavior would be acceptable if he was SINGLE. However, he isn't. Once a marriage occurs, there needs to be clear, open, communication about things that concern both the "husband" and the "wife". This situation is a great example.

If confronting your husband again doesn't work, I would say that you both need to see a marriage counselor.

Otherwise, your husband could end up divorced like me. Divorce isn't any fun!
---Augie on 7/16/10

Your husband is dead wrong. Not that there's anything totally bad about what he is doing, but they're both being turkeys to you--YOU should be the one he is protecting and caring for, not her.
---Mary on 7/16/10

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