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How To Stop Long Affair

I am married with 3 children. I used to be so happy so I never really noticed other men because I was so in love. Met this guy and I don't know what happened. I have been having an affair for 2 years. I want to stop, but don't know how.

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 ---Lulu on 10/12/10
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You got a bigger problem, your probably not save. A sign of a save person is they don'nt want to sin.and when they sin, it weighs heavy on them.(two years?)

1 JOHN 2,4 He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.

On top of this is were sitting very close to the end.
---RICHARD on 10/17/10

Please I am sorry, the temptation of the Lord is in Matthew 4 & Luke 4 (not Mark 4).
---Adetunji on 10/16/10

Lulu ... You ask for someone to talk to.

If you join the PenPal section of this site, you will be able to talk to any other PenPal members. It's free!

Once on there, you can look for ladies who may be the best for you to chat to.

Or you could show your full PanPal name, as I do, and ask for amy ladies who feel they can help, to get in touch with you. You would have to keep checking your PP account to see if anyone has written to you
---alan8566_of_uk on 10/15/10

Congratulations Lulu for taking that right step. The Lord who assisted you to take that step is available to you all-the-time, more than those of us on the blog. Develop a closer relationship with HIM from now onwards. Read the Bible regularly daily, meditate on God's word regularly. Read testimonies of other overcomers ahead of you. The Lord Jesus defeated all the devil's temptations with the word of God (Matthew 4, Mark 4). Walking with and talking to Jesus as often as you can will always help you. The tempter is not yet caged, he will come back, but if he meets Jesus with you( & vice-versa) he will stay out.
---Adetunji on 10/15/10


I would like to suggest that you walk through the doors of your church and seek out the Family/Marriage pastor as soon as you can.

You talk about wanting to talk, which may very well be how you arrived in your situation in the first place.

Inappropriate confiding.

Please make sure that the people you now confide in are not willing to harm you or put you in a position for harm.

The person you had the affair with was not your friend or someone that was looking out for you, he was using you. Don't let it happen again.
---Kimberley on 10/14/10

Lulu, I totally agree with ---tommy7376 on 10/13/10.

Since you stopped the affair, now please go to the Lord and begin to repent in sackcloth and ashes. 1 John 1:0 says, If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

However, I think you're going to be dealing with guilt, that's why you may have to walk this out with the Lord and keep telling God how remorseful you are about what you did. Ask the Lord to "restore" you. Read the Gospel of John, then read Ephesians and let the Word of God heal you. Pray and stay in God's presence asking Him to pour Liquid Love into your being. I'll be praying for you Lulu (((huggss)))).
---Donna5535 on 10/14/10

HOW? say no,the hurt and pain you will and are experiencing is the result of your decisions.
---tom2 on 10/14/10

Just wanted to let everyone know I ended my affair tonight over the phone. I am gonna ask for GOD's forgiveness and strength to help me stay strong. It's hard not to miss someone you grew close to even though you know you never should of got that close to begin with. My marriage, my husband, my children, my family are much to important to hurt or lose. Now I ask myself what was I ever thinking. 12 of our 14 years together I was faithful. I wonder what exactly it was after all those years to actually cause me to have an affair. Please keep me in your prayers...I need all the support and strength I can get. I could use someone to talk to for support.
---Lulu on 10/14/10


There is something deeper. There is probably an intimacy issue here.

You turn to a stranger to feel loved. You turn to strangers for advice.

To get out of this snare, you need to turn to just two men: Jesus, then your husband. You might be very surprised good and/or bad.
---aka on 10/13/10

Lulu....You DO NOT WANT TO STOP or you would have by now. You like the sin that you are in. You say you want to stop, but don't know how. But that is a lie. The Bible says that we are to resist the Devil and he will flea. There is only one word you need to know to stop this. That word is NO.
---KarenD on 10/13/10

There are men who are attracted to the most delighting attractive women, but they find out their wives who were acting so charming turn out not to be interested in keeping that going, all the time (c: And because they tricked their own selves into expecting so much, they can get that more disappointed. Then someone maybe not attractive gives them *attention* and communicates, and they find they like this better than the frustration of struggling for what they supposed they could use their wives to get for themselves.

So, have you gotten into love, or do you like how you have gotten *attention*, for yourself . . . instead of loving by *giving* attention ? ? ?
---Bill on 10/13/10

Lulu, First of all, You seem to have a major misconception of what LOVE really is, as do many(if not most) of us. You have a problem with mistaking strong physical attraction with love, and the thought that you're still in love with your husband is based on the security you feel there. Love is more than physical attraction, it is about decisions that cause action that is in the BEST interest of the person you "love." You need to go to the source of all Love, Jesus Christ, and ask Him to help you find what love really means.
---tommy7376 on 10/13/10

Without commitment, lust is less burdensome and free and feels so interesting but irritates the Lord. You never knew how you got into it because the evil one subtily granted you his gift of bondage. The evil force involved has not allowed you to stop bcos it's interest is your destruction. One power that can help you is JESUS' own. Have you asked HIM for help? Say sincerely, "Lord Jesus Christ, save and break me from the sin i have been committing with Mr. Xyz. Grant me the power and understanding not to go back into it anymore".
---Adetunji on 10/13/10

Believe me I was and believe I am still in love with my husband. I believe I just got lost. This other man gives me so much attention and makes me feel so beautiful and loved but I hate it. The sneaking and lying. I want to stop seeing him but dont know how and when I try I miss him. I really want to just be happy and in love with my husband and want forgiveness.
---Lulu on 10/12/10

At least you did not start with, "I am a born again Christian, but..."

the "I"s have it. "I" was counted seven times in 5 sentences, and there is still two others implied.

Affairs are not about the physical. Does your husband necessarily want you to stop?
---aka on 10/13/10

There's a book dealing with this very topic: WHEN TEMPTED BY LOVE.

YOU have to decide to stop it, as with any other sin.

And obviously, you weren't that in love with your husband or you wouldn't have fallen for the charms of another man.
---Cluny on 10/12/10

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