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Who Should Pay The Bills

What's a fair amount for a christian couple to pay towards household bills. My husband makes three times more money than I do, but he will only pay a $800 mortgage. His only response is let him be the head of his house. He wants me to pay all of the utilities, groceries, and toiletries each month.

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 ---Kay on 1/11/11
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There is always the practical approach if both parties are earning a salary. A joint acount for all household bills whereby both parties can lodge pro rata. Then both can have separate accounts for personal expenditure and the buying of gifts for each other. Becoming one flesh is the joining together of two people through sexual union and has nothing to do with bank accounts any more than it has to do with both parties having to share the desire for the exact same food, hobbies or TV programmes.
---APG on 10/19/21

First of all, I believe the bible clearly states that men are to be the providers. 1Tim 5:8 "But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel."
Second, in the bible's example of a godly wife, she handles her own money: Pro 31:16 "She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard."
Most christian men like to ignore this scripture just like they ignore the one before the wives submit verse: Eph 5:21 "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God."
---Hope on 1/16/11

MarkV: Thank you for informing me of Candice's beliefs in Jehovah Witness teachings. I am aware of thier denial of the deity of Christ, but was unaware that she was one who believed those lies.
---Trish9863 on 1/15/11

candice...Hope you live life according to the Word of God which was written thousands of years ago.
---KarenD on 1/15/11

Trish, I believe you didn't know that Candice has been studying with the Jehovah Witness and does not believe that Jesus (God) came in the flesh. They believe Jesus was an angel similar to satan. She answers kindly but does not believe in the deity of Jesus Christ. In fact in their faith even the Holy Spirit is called many times, God's active force." So no person of the Holy Spirit really, and since the Son Jesus was born human, He was not eternal.
---Mark_V. on 1/15/11

Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Mark 10:8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.
Eph 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself, and the wife [see] that she reverence [her] husband.
Luk 16:10-12 He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much. If therefore ye have not been faithful in the unrighteous mammon, who will commit to your trust the true [riches]? And if ye have not been faithful in that which is another man's, who shall give you that which is your own?
Luke 16:13
---micha9344 on 1/13/11

Every household is run differently. But every system does not work correctly.You/spouse are using the wrong system. All of the money could be put in one pot, so to speak. Pay all of the bills first, tithe/offerings,insurance, and so on. Put money aside for emergencies. Whatever is left could be split between you and your spouse. This money is used any way you or spouse wants to.Does not matter who make the most money. The money belongs to both, not one spouse. If he makes more, he still has to put the money on the table and the bills need to be paid.
---Robyn on 1/13/11

The fair way to handle money in any marriage is to have a joint checking account, pay the bills out of that account, and decide together how the rest should be spent. This nonsense of separate money and arguing over who pays the bills is not a Christian marriage.
---KarenD on 1/13/11

Candice "Jesus is the mediator to God, Jesus is not God.Notice God is above"

Candice, did you really mean to say that Jesus is NOT God?
---Trish9863 on 1/12/11

A fair amount is whatever you two agree upon. Everyone's household and finances are run differently.

My husband makes considerably more than I and I'm not expected to pay any household bills. However, if I know business is slow (he's self-employed), I step in and help out. He tells me that the bills aren't my responsibility and he even pays me back (plus a little extra) later, but my help is always appreciated.

With all of that said, I don't think it's unreasonable for your husband to ask you to help out. My husband has told me that some of his friends and family members have debated him about wives paying half of the expenses, as a lot of households run this way.

The real question is does this put an unfair strain on you?
---AlwaysOn on 1/12/11

Trish only in our earthly flesh is our husbands the head of us(or suppose to be) but he doesn't go to Jesus for me, i do. Jesus is the mediator to God, Jesus is not God.Notice God is above Jesus! in our family, we live in the 21rst century, not like over 100 yrs ago. We both give what we can in our marriage & as parents & how to serve God & his son.Sure there are certain choices I agree with for my husband because he is the head of house, but we do not rule over eachother, but help each other.
---candice on 1/12/11

Ephesians 5:23- For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.

This was the verse from which I posted my last response. Just as Christ answers to the Father on the Church's behalf, I believe that husbands will answer to the Lord for their wives as well. Maybe not for individual salvation, but for loving the wife as Christ loved the Church.
---Trish9863 on 1/12/11

1 Timothy 5:8 For if any provide not for his own,and specially for those of his own house,he has denied the faith,and is worse than an infidel. I think if a couple works it is only fair that the one who makes the most money pays the most for household expenses. Ephesians 5:23-28 husband head of wife as Christ head of church and savior of the body. husbands love wives as Christ loved church and gave himself for it. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife loves himself. Give your husband all those verses,is he doing his part as husband? He should put in three times the amount of money you do for expenses. Thats fair. What does he do with his money? "Let him be head of his house",he isn't being head.
---Darlene_1 on 1/12/11

If he wants to act like a king, let him spend like one!
---Mary on 1/12/11

Does thease other expenses go past his$800? If so he needs to help out with electric or another bill besides the morgage.
---candice on 1/12/11

trish i agree about the "our money" however though our husbands should be the head, we each answer to God through Jesus as individuals. my dh doesn't speak for my salvation neither I for his, but we come together & do as God asks of us.
---candice on 1/12/11

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This sounds like a selfish relationship to me. My wife and I deposit our income into the same account to be used as needed.
Maybe you need to present bills to your husband for cooking and serving meals. They do that in restaurants don't they?
When people marry they become one flesh. Your husband must learn that and act like it.
Any head or leader of anything should be a servant first.
---Elder on 1/12/11

A better solution, pool the money, (mine and yours is silly for two people who are one) split the leftover four ways, one for God, one for you, one for him, and one for the future.
---Pharisee on 1/12/11

When I was married, all earnings from both of us were combined and paid the bills from our joint checking account. There was no such thing as his money and my money. It was our money, and all of it was used to pay the bills.

You should be letting your husband be the head of the household, as that is scriptural. He answers to God for you.
---Trish9863 on 1/11/11

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