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Don't Talk Bad About Spouse

Except for instances of abuse, I don't think it's wise for a person to bring negative issues s/he has with a spouse to a public forum. Do you agree or disagree with me?

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 ---AlwaysOn on 1/12/11
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It is totally different to bear one anothers burdens and bad mouth your spouse. I think it is disgusting and should be embarrassing to the big mouther.
---shira3877 on 2/16/11

People are social creatures created with a mind and a voice in order to communicate with each other, and to make decisions based upon words and experiences and advices from others. There is absolutely nothing wrong with any person asking the public for their advice or for their thoughts about their spouses megative issues.
---Eloy on 2/14/11

It is better to keep their problems to themselves. their private life is their business.
---Julia_Mayner on 2/13/11

Public humiliation is a good behavior modification tool. When spouses are living holy lives as commanded, then neither spouse should be offended by what their spouse aires to the public. But if a spouse is sinning, then that sinner should be ashamed when their spouse publicly exposes their disobedience.
---Eloy on 2/11/11

Talking bad about a spouse on a blog, facebook, some prayer groups is wrong it is considered gossip and should be cut out. Go to a close friend, pastor, mentor, for advise. Also you need to talk about it with them before it goes outside a marrage.
---Scott on 2/9/11

It is wrong to bad mouth your spouse. You can go to a therapist and give them your side of something and your spouse can go and give their side and they are totally different. Anyone who talks about their spouse will talk about their friends.
---shira3877 on 2/8/11

Joyce Footman. When consulting counselors pastors and so forth. You should be willing to follow some of their advice and suggestions. No one can make you do anything. Sometimes we seek out others to receive confirmation and hear that we are right. This is not the case, most times. Most times we are misdirected and off track in our thinking. This is why we have experts and professionals. You must be open to what they have to say. If not--you are wasting your valuable time. And we should always consult God first through prayer and the Word. My next question to you: is your faith strong enough to wait on God and know when God is working your situation out? That is a tough place to be in and harder to do.
---Robyn on 2/8/11

The bible tells us to share one anothers burdens. I still think we should share some things with a christian brother or sister that we trust. Even though this is getting harder and harder to do.We cannot even trust some pastors now! Even though counselors,therapists and others are available. But experience is a good teacher also.Some of the advice dispensed here is priceless. Even counselors, therapists couldn't do as well, on some of these topics. I say share! And be led by the Spirit! Ask and it shall be given, applies here at CN.
---Robyn on 1/22/11

I find that in every situation where I've done that, I was met with opinions and unwanted advice. I could never make sense of it. Even in some cases when speaking with a spiritual leader, you'll find they are giving you their understanding of it. It is God whom you should consult with your marriage issues, always. He has all the right answers and responses, and only God truly knows your situation... Not to mention that he always guides you in a direction that brings the best outcome. Pray, be still and hear what the Almighty God, through Jesus Christ is speaking to you. Trust God.
---JOYCE_FOOTMAN on 1/19/11

I totally agree with you on the subject. I practice this. Not only in forum but in everyday living. If he or she does if you pay attention it puts you in defence of yourself. Others do it for advice from someone that may have went threw the situation or have some knowing of the situation. Also ones that feel saying it to someone who does not know the spoke of can not hurt anyone.
---Nicole_Hawkins on 1/17/11

No wife should talk about her husband. That is disloyalty to the fullest. If there is abuse involved, go to someone in authority. Please don't talk about your husband for any reason.
---shira3877 on 1/17/11

Always on, I completely agree. I believe if someone loves their spouse, they should never talk bad about the other. Not even joking when among friends or brothers and sisters. It shows a lack of respect and a real lack of love for the other. Even when marriages break up, it is bad to talk bad about the other, because as Christians the only way to continue is to forgive and move forward trusting in the Lord for your life. It helps the person forgiving and frees him/her from been in bondage to that person.
---Mark_V. on 1/17/11

People also have a tendency to change their attitude toward a spouse based upon things other people tell them. I've seen women get very snappy with husbands after girlfriends and others have told her he's no good, he's not this or he's not that. Ditto for men doing the same to wives based on what their friends say. I get concerned about people possibly doing the same when they are told online to leave their spouse, that their spouse isn't acting like a Christian, etc.

Words are powerful and some people are very weak to their influence.
---AlwaysOn on 1/14/11

I agree. There are only two with whom one should discuss their spouse's faults: The spouse and God.
---jerry6593 on 1/14/11

I agree, you can never "unspill the milk", once said, those comments can come back to "haunt" your marriage for the remainder of your relationship. However, if there is abuse, there is nothing in the Bible that supports the abuse of one's mate. I don't know when Church's thought it would be wise to "turn a blind-eye" to such behavior & state that as a church they should not get involved when the Bible clearly states we-as Christians should be able to judge matters within the church INSTEAD of taking these matters to the pagan court of law. WOW--have we verved far from God's intent?
---Laurie on 1/13/11

You don't talk in a negative way about a person in public, especially a spouse.
---wivv on 1/13/11

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The place to bring any issues (negative or positive) regarding a spouse is to the spouse!!!!!
---KarenD on 1/13/11

I think this is a wonderful site and one of the best ways to seek help. This does not stop anyone from seeking professional or spiritual help elsewhere. But enough good advice, spiritual and otherwise, to really minister to someone. It is up to the person seeking help, to use the information. There are still godly and friendly people, who are interested in others and are willing to offer loving advice to them. I care and am always available to help and minister to others.I consider this my internet ministry.
---Robyn on 1/13/11

Seeking help is one thing being a talebearer or tattletale is another. The more wood you stoke a fire with the higher and hotter the fire gets. Its the same with a relationship,always telling people all your personal problems never gives a chance to heal and get over it. Proverbs 26:20 Where no wood is there the fire goes out,so where there is no talebearer,the strife ceases. Hold your peace,pray,and let the Lord fight your battles.
---Darlene1 on 1/13/11

Agreed. next though we might not agree on peoples denominations we donot need to put others down as well reguarding to where they worship, leave that up to them & God.
---candice on 1/12/11

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I agree except in abuse cases. Then by all means tell someone, get help. But if it's petty, or even bad manners, tell God your problem. Allow Him to lead you in the right direction for advice. If the spouse sees the things written about them it could make things worse. The first step is talk to God, then the spouse, then if needed a private talk with a Christian you can trust to be fair to both parties being discussed. A public bashing of someone who can't tell their side is not fair nor Christian in my opinion.
---Reba on 1/13/11

Disagree, while there is much variety in the type of response, in a multitude of counselors there is safety.
---Pharisee on 1/13/11

If it's a situation of abuse, I'm on board with a person seeking help however and from whomever she or he can. Some people, however, appear to want to hear that they're right and that their spouse is a tyrant, a weakling, a loser, etc. I just don't think it's healthy for a spouse to do that to another spouse, especially when you do not know who you're getting advice from. I believe in keeping marital issues between your spouse and God, and if further counsel is needed, being very careful and wise about who you take advice from. Marriage is sacred and spouses should be honored, not torn down on a computer monitor. Even if it is anonymous, I think marriages can be adversely affected by this.
---AlwaysOn on 1/13/11

I agree that it is not proper to bring into a public forum the negative issues regarding their spouse. Every church has a marriage counselor so it is better to seek for their advice.
---IMPACT4lyf on 1/13/11

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It sure is hard to take back that I said several, about 20 yr's ago when I was done in the gutter about 8 - 10 yr's, even during the sep & div. At times my 2 daughters don't like being their Mom the way she brow - beats etc.
---Lawrence on 1/13/11

Since this is an anonymous way of communicating, I see nothing wrong with seeking advice in how to deal with a problem. Some people do not know where to turn, or what to do, and may not have the courage to confide in a person in their life.
---Trish9863 on 1/12/11

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