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Spank 14 Year Old Niece

I believe I should spank my fourteen year old niece for opening other people's private e-mail accounts and sending nasty messages from them. Is this the right thing to do?

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 ---Brandon on 1/17/11
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A 14-year-old is old enough to be reasoned with rationally, without resorting to spanking. She should be told that unauthorized access to computers is a federal crime punished by many years in jail, and that by rights, you ought to turn her over to the police, but you're willing to let it go this time if she voluntarily agrees to being grounded from using the internet for a period (e.g. one week), or some other suitably punishment which similarly inconveniences her to teach her a lesson. Also say that the next time, you won't be as lenient.

Also, there is no way she should even be able to access other people's emails, if they are properly password protected. As the Scots say, "fool me twice, shame on ME".
---StrongAxe on 5/17/17

You should definitely spank her bare bottom while she is over your knee. I would use a wooden backed hair brush on her naughty bare behind until she is crying and kicking her feet and her bum is completely red. Then 30 minutes of corner time with her hand on her head in front of everyone will teach her the lesson she needs.
---roger on 5/16/17

Heck no! She is too old. Do you want to spank your wife also?

If you want to spank your 14 year old daughter there is something wrong with you. But, your 14 year old niece is sick. Are you crazy?
You are a grown man. Keep your hands away for her. Discipline her some other way only if she lives with you.

I think there is another reason why you want to put your hands on her.
Do you really need people on a Christian website to tell you not to touch her?

Where do you plan to spank her? On her Buttocks Really???
The girl is developed already.

Touch her and she can file a sexual assault against you.
And I hope she does.
I can't believe CN posted this subject again.
---Nikki on 6/12/13

Absolutely. Spank her until she cries.
---Aprille on 6/12/13

i did not see "bare bottom" spank...just spank. is there hidden desire there?
---aka on 6/8/11


For some reason I read that as "definition of" rather than "sentence for."
---atheist on 6/6/11

Atheist ... I think John meant what sentence (punishment) would be given to the child molester!

But yes I agree that uncle would be one.
---alan8566_of_UK on 6/5/11

first, password protect your accounts, and then you and your wife spank each other for various reasons.

we do not know what authority you have over your niece.

if you think spanking a 14 year old would help, then spank yourself. it might knock some sense into you.
---aka on 6/5/11

the purpose of raising a child is not just discipline but training them to be trustworthy responsible adults. To spank her at that age is not necessarily wrong but will not be very effective in achieving what you desire her to be. If she cannot be reasonable or respectful set a password only you know. Teach her their are consequences in life and when she does wrong then she has to face whatever they are.She is not a child any longer, she is a young women. Prepare her for the real world because she has to face it someday.
---willa5568 on 6/6/11

"(What's the sentence for a Child Molester???)"

An uncle giving a bare bottom spanking to his 14 your old niece...?
---atheist on 6/5/11


(What's the sentence for a Child Molester???)
---John on 6/5/11

Never. 14 year olds are past the age of spanking especially if you can see what you are spanking.

Taking away the computer and grounding are the appropriate measures. If this does not work then removing their phone and other privelges.

Spanking is a short term resort for young children who have a hard time understanding something dangerous.
---Samuel on 6/4/11

Hey Momma,

And how is Brandon to tell that his "loving hand" has achieved that rosy red of spanking perfection?
---atheist on 6/4/11 matter the age..if spanked correctly with a loving hand to a rosey red only. Spanking is good at any age for disobiedance.
---Momma_Fran on 6/4/11

Yes, thats the right thing to do if she has done it more than one time and you first have given some warnings.
---Henrik on 2/5/11

Spanking does absolutely nothing for 14 year old.
Unplug the computer and block there are ways you can do it.

I understand you are upset but the solution is not spanking.
---vivian on 1/24/11

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Spanking is typically a method of last resort for young children who are too young to be able to have rational discussions about the consequences of their actions. Teenagers are usually way past that stage, and are young adults - they should be disciplined as adults by forcing them to endure the consequences of their actions.

If she abused your computer, she should be denied access to it.

I'm also curious how she got access to other people's email accounts. Did all these people leave their email passwords unprotected? If so, it's partially their fault as well.
---StrongAxe on 1/22/11

why use violence?

Hit her and you should go to prison.... she is not your birth child you have no right..

But what you can and shold do is work with her to find the solution of her problem.

where are her parents? what is your role and why have you not built a talking and reasoning relationship with her?

She is as much as looks older and should know better a child and she knows better but there are undeline problems with her as a whole/stable and love child.

work on that before she ends up hating you and doing worse!
---Carla on 1/21/11

In my heart the Bible says to spare the rod is to spoil the child. She knows right from wrong. She is still under your authority. Yes, I believe you would be doing her good to keep correcting her. It is also a crime! Chasten her while there is still time. God Bless
---Tami on 1/19/11

She is way past the spanking stage. Take away her computer privielges or phone for a period of time. Or ground her.
---Samuel on 1/19/11

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Brandon...I suppose that it was your email account that she opened. If you want to go to jail go ahead and spank her.
---KarenD on 1/19/11

This young girl need to be shown what she did was wrong.And made to apologize to the people she may have hurt. She is pass the spanking stage. Sometimes people may not know what harm they may have caused another. This is the purpose of explaining to her what she has done. I would then take her computer privileges for a certain length of time along with a warning. The warning: if she ever does this again. She will receive something much worse than what she received this time. And be willing and ready to carry through with it.
---Robyn on 1/19/11

I'd FEEL like spanking her! But I wouldn't do it. Other tactics could be more effective. And fourteen is a bit old for spanking.
I don't know how much authority or responsibility you have for her...does she live with you?
If not her parents should be told promptly.

I would tell her this is illegal. Ask her how she would feel if someone sent something like this from HER email address... or if she "received" one from a person she considered a friend? Can she send an apology (with your supervision) to those she has abused?

The simplest thing, of course, would be to suspend her computer privileges.
---Donna66 on 1/18/11

There are ones writing here who might give you a spanking, for spanking her!

Have you talked with her about trust? Have you talked with her about how betraying trust is against love and can keep her from becoming able to know how to love?

Are you doing right things that the Bible says to do, in the New Testament? "nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3) For example, if you are married, are you doing everything "without complaining and disputing," (in Philippians 2:14) so she can see how to love in a close relationship?
---Bill_willa6989 on 1/18/11

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I believe kids should be dealt with differently at various ages.

Punishment for young kids, like 2-6. That would include spanking, sitting in a corner, etc.

Discipline for kids maybe 7-12, at an age where they're old enough to reason through what they've done. Maybe grounding from other activities and friends as well.

But at age 14, it should be consequences tied to the offense. Loss of computer priviledge and apologies in person if possible. Some sort of "scared straight" experience, too.
---James_L on 1/17/11

I wouldn't spank her..try grounding her..she is to old to spank..found out why she would do that..try to talk to her about it, and help her understand that that is not right, and how she would feel if it was done to her.
---a_friend on 1/17/11

NO!!! She's too old for a spanking (especially by you). You really don't want to go to jail for child molestation/abuse, do you Uncle Brandon? :/

There's more than one way to skin a cat! Suspend her internet privileges & whatever else she really enjoys doing. Placing her over your knee likely wouldn't be viewed as discipline, but seen as carnal/lustful sin.
---Leon on 1/17/11

You NEVER spank a 14yr. There are too many other forms of discipline that can be more successful.. For example: ground her, take away her cell phone, I Pod, etc. Spanking her would do no good and probably cause more harm than good. She would be more apt to learn with one of the other methods I mentioned.

All my advice is assuming you have the authority to discipline her at all. Where are her parents? This is their area of responsibility.
---wivv on 1/17/11

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And are you raising your niece?

Spanking a 14 year old is inappropriate.

Point out to her that this kind of hacking into other people's e-mail accounts is a federal crime, offer to report her to the authorities if she does so again--and then follow through with it.

That is, if they don't catch her first.
---Cluny on 1/17/11

No you do not

Any punishment should be administered by the parents.
---alan8566_of_uk on 1/17/11

no, you can be arrested for child endangerment, plus she's 14, not 6! tell her parents. that is the right choice to do.Let them ground her, take away her computer privliges etc. If you are the care giver then do the same.Spanking a 14 year old child is NOT acceptable.
---candice on 1/17/11

Are you her guardian or does she live with her parents? If she lives with her parents, present the issue to them and let them handle it. If you are her guardian, are there better ways for you to teach her a lesson about respecting people's privacy and intruding on their lives?

Personally, I think that she's old enough for you to speak to and perhaps even introduce her to the legal consequences of her actions. I've heard about people being prosecuted for opening private emails and there are also laws against online bullying. If both of you are unfamiliar with these, perhaps you can make a project out of educating yourselves. I would also require her to personally apologize to all affected parties.
---AlwaysOn on 1/17/11

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Absolutely not! It is up to her parents to discipline her and at her age, spanking is off-limits--or should be. You need to talk to her parents about this--not paddle her behind.
---Mary on 1/17/11

Are you sure she sent them?

There's alternatives to spanking. How about permanent loss of internet privileges without supervision? Password protect your hard drive.
Take her to the park every night for a month and make her run laps.

get creative...a ten min pain in the rump is hardly a suitable punishment for such a crime anyway.
---Pharisee on 1/17/11

No, it is not proper to spank a 14 year old girl for such behavior. Spanking her for anything is out of line at her age. There are alternative consequences for her. Seek family therapy, if you are her guardian, and learn to be a better parent to her. If you are not her guardian, you have no call to discipline her at all.
---Trish9863 on 1/17/11

no,personally I believe grounding her for a long time from the computer would get her attention,and more likely would hurt alot worse.
---tom2 on 1/17/11

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If your 14 year old niece has been hacking into other peoples mail account she should be reported to authorities for criminal prosecution. If the email crosses a state boundary it is a federal issue and there is no juvenile status and she would be tried and sentenced as an adult with mandatory minimums sentences imposed.

As far as corporal punishment is concerned, it is more dangerous to you then her as you will be charged with child abuse.
---Blogger9211 on 1/17/11

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