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Lazy Husband Wants Me Back

I love my husband but he refused to work. It wouldn't be so bad but he expected me to spend money on things we did not need. He left me and then called me and said that he didn't love me anymore and now he has a girlfriend. Now I am hearing that he might want to get back with me. What do I do?

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 ---Rhonda on 1/19/11
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What does love have to do with im wanting you back?
---francis on 1/24/11

What miche said

1Co 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such [cases]: but God hath called us to peace.
---CraigA on 1/24/11

To take back a man who has a girlfriend is exposing yourself to nothing but further pain and humiliation, no wife should settle for that!
---Mary on 1/23/11

In hindsight, I wish that I had had the guts, courage, etc. to explain that to my aunt and 2nd cousin.

I hope that GOD forgives me for listening to my parents, and keeping my nose out of my relatives' business.

Which brings up another question:

WHY are GOD's Earthly representatives, here on planet Earth, NOT teaching and preaching on this subject? Pastors, Priests, etc.

Satan is having a lot of fun messing with marriages like this one. And the problems are increasing.

---Sag on 1/23/11

make sure he does want you back obviously it's won't be a walk in the park... but he Is your husband until death, I don't think any man is worth having to fight for unless you know you can win him to the lord. However if he is willing to come back think long and hard about the challenges you will face.. is he worth it? or it's a long and lonely road head until you learn to lean on Jesus alone.
---Carla on 1/23/11

To take back a man who has a girlfriend is exposing yourself to nothing but further pain and humiliation, no wife should settle for that!
---Mary on 1/23/11

I didn't mean she should wait to forgive him after a year. I meant she should consider working things out with him after he has held a job for a year. The Bible says if she doesn't forgive him, the Lord won't forgive her.
---KarenD on 1/23/11

Who taught him how to be a responsible man, who taught him about sexual responsibly, who taught him that he should help within the home, who taught him to live according to the word.
Now you know where your problem lies you have some hard work to address those issues.

It's a lonely life out there and if you can take him back do so but the challenge is hard and not an easy one to win without the big word we

all fail to analyse >LOVE<

loneliness causes adultery and fornication. It is a natural process for a woman to become emotionally dependent around her mensural cycle. The devil will have a ball game with you when your on your own.

Take your hubby back, but with caution, the devils already got a foot in!
---Carla on 1/23/11

1Jo 2:19 They went out from us, but they were not of us, for if they had been of us, they would [no doubt] have continued with us: but [they went out], that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us.
1Co 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such [cases]: but God hath called us to peace.
Luk 6:46 And why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say?
Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it,
Heb 12:4 Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin.
---micha9344 on 1/22/11


I agree with you that either "you DO" or "you DO NOT" forgive completely.

KarenD is only being wise by suggesting that the husband hold down a job.

I wish that my relatives had done that. Turns out, these women just chose to "ignore" where all the money went. After giving their husbands yet another chance.

Eventually, they just couldn't take it any longer. The drunken beatings, gambling debts on their credit reports, etc. They ended up dumping their husbands for good. Complete with court orders for their husbands to NEVER return again.

I think that my relatives TRIED to forgive, and it just didn't last. Because of their husband's addictions.
---Sag on 1/22/11

I don't think God wants us to have a 'hint'(touch, trace, speck, tinge, small indefinate amount) of forgiveness...
Mat 6:14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
Mar 11:25 And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.
Luk 17:3 Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him, and if he repent, forgive him.
Luk 23:34a Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do...
---micha9344 on 1/22/11

Tell your husband if he holds down a job for a year, you will consider it!!!!
---KarenD on 1/21/11

I think that your answer is: Practical, Reasonable, and includes a hint of Forgiveness.

Congratulations! You just won a GOLD medal / 1st prize.
---Sag on 1/22/11

Tell your husband if he holds down a job for a year, you will consider it!!!!
---KarenD on 1/21/11

when God forgives you, does He trust you again?
---Cluny on 1/20/11

A completely different scenario. I believe that GOD decides to forgive me depending upon my own spiritual condition. The purpose might be for ME to see whether, or not, I am indeed: Honest, Trustworthy, Changed, etc. The same scenario applies to other people too. Yourself included.

I know that I'm not as FORGIVING as GOD is. He knows that I wouldn't give any more $$$ to the Televangelists, TBN, or any ministries that don't glorify HIM.

If my heart, motives, etc. need correcting, I trust that GOD will take care of that. Maybe through YOUR helpful questioning.
---Sag on 1/21/11

Cluny: god does not heed to trust you, anyway, for God knows exactly what you will do, even if you do not.

God has the benefit that He knows how trustworthy we are. God may treat us as strustworthy, even if we are not, so that WE can learn we are actually not trustworthy!
---Peter on 1/21/11

Honey what is the matter with you? This should be so easy for you to figure out. He is a loser who wants to take you down with him. Don't even consider it. Move on with your life and pursue better for yourself. You have nothing in this wimp.
---Robyn on 1/20/11

\\FORGIVING your husband doesn't mean that you necessarily have to TRUST him again.\\

Sag, when God forgives you, does He trust you again?
---Cluny on 1/20/11

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The Bible says to FORGIVE those who have sinned against, and hurt, us. Matthew 6:14-16, Matthew 18:21-22, Luke 23:34, Colossians 3:13.

So, do that: FORGIVE.

However, as other bloggers have already pointed out, taking your husband back can be risky. Even unsafe, because of AIDS and other STDs.

FORGIVING your husband doesn't mean that you necessarily have to TRUST him again. You and God know the circumstances better than any of us.

I've had several friends, and relatives, in your situation. Some took their husbands back with no further problems. Others ended up being beaten again. A few died from domestic abuse.
---Sag on 1/20/11

What you do is thank God he is gone and never,never let yourself be used like that again. If he wants you back it may well be only because he hasn't found another woman who will put up with his laziness and support him. The Bible says if an unbelieving husband leaves let him go 1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart let him depart,a brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases:but God has called us to peace. He has a girfriend that tells you what he really thinks of you and your feelings. Find a good man who really is a man and he will work together with you to build a good Christian life where the man loves the wife as Christ loves the church and gave himself for it.
---Darlene_1 on 1/20/11

I have a relative who has done this (and worse) to his wife multiple times. She repeatedly takes him back when he is down and in need. As soon as he is able, he finds someone new and abandons her yet again. This has been going on for years.

Before making a decision to take him or leave him, I'd advise any woman in this situation to seek individual counseling first to discover why she would allow a man to treat her this way and to work on becoming a stronger person who makes sound decisions.
---AlwaysOn on 1/20/11

Mat 19:8b ...Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
2Th 3:10b-15 ...that if any would not work, neither should he eat. For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but are busybodies. Now them that are such we command and exhort by our Lord Jesus Christ, that with quietness they work, and eat their own bread. But ye, brethren, be not weary in well doing. And if any man obey not our word by this epistle, note that man, and have no company with him, that he may be ashamed. Yet count [him] not as an enemy, but admonish [him] as a brother
Mark 10:9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
---micha9344 on 1/20/11

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Adultery is grounds for divorce in the bible. I believe that wives who take their husbands back after this, are actually condoning & supporting adultery & risk their own lives & health. You are at risk for STD's & AIDS by doing this. Also read: 1Tim 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
---HOPE on 1/20/11

Well, don't do anything until he contacts you for himself.

Remember, what you hear may not be anything near the truth.
---Cluny on 1/19/11

I suggest you speak with a lawyer and explore your options. He has committed adultery.

I also suggest you get involved in a Women's Bible Study, and find a trusted, mature, Christian friend in whom you can confide, as well as be discipled by.
---Trish9863 on 1/19/11

Let him go. Don't allow him into your home. Let him live on his own for awhile showing you he can change.if he still fails at it, at least it doesn't affect you.
---candice on 1/19/11

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excuse me rhonda....moderator?

why do questions like this get published seemingly exactly as they are printed, but other questions that are as half as long and based in reality get edited to almost nonsensical questions.

rhonda, may God bless you.
---aka on 1/19/11

You should not even consider taking him back until he does two things FIRST: he has to get a job that he holds for at least two months and that is secure, and SECOND: he has to complete marriage counseling. Until those two things are done, don't even think about taking him back. This doesn't mean you are going to take him back even if he does these things, but you might consider it. (If he does agree to marriage counseling, make sure it's a qualified marriage counselor who does NOT know either of you.)
---wivv on 1/19/11

this is real simple kick him to the curb, and what is there to love about him he wont provide for his family and plus he is an adulterer.
---Lea on 1/19/11

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