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Escalating Fights With Husband

Married over 30 years. Arguments are escalating. Husband picked up chair and threatened me. Son witnessed the scene. I did not retaliate. I am christian. He is not. What do I do?

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 ---Brandy on 5/5/11
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#2 poopsey, growing up, my parents NEVER held me. Mydad would push me away,, mom to busy.

My daughter was born 2 weeks after my brother's daughter. My dad said to me, about my daugher, Oh she's so cute, picked her up and held her. THEN he said, I can't even hold or stand to be around Stacy..(my brothers daughter) she's so ugly.

I went into some strange shock, locked my self in my bathroom and for the first time in, well almost my whole life time I cried hysterically. I didn't know why I was crying, and out of nowhere, the Lord showed me I was crying for me. Once I saw a glimpse of that, I was able to grow and move past. But before that, I was very sensative to everything, always seeing rejection in everything and everyone.
---kathr4453 on 6/1/11

Interesting to hear about ACoA. I had never heard of them.

But it goes further than children of alcoholics too. My ex-wfe had an agressive/abusive non-alcoholic father (suspected he suffered from asperges)for whom she held much bitterness/unforgiveness against, even though she is a Christian. And likewise she was agressive/abusive. Even her children eventually left her as soon as legally able, preferring to live majority care with their more patient father.
---Haz27 on 6/1/11

Trish can see beneith the surface, reponding to poopsey (not reacting to her).

I am in agreement here with Trish. Coming from that background as well, I know how hard it was to filter out nonessentials, and just learn to laugh at myself. Being so brused, even the kindest touch HURT.

poopsey, I truly am sorry you are hurting.

But i do know this. God may purposely allowing you to be provoked, to bring to the surface something you may have stuffed so deep, and until you pray about it and ask "WHAT IS IT", you won't be able to move on.

I'll give you a true story next time.
---kathr4453 on 6/1/11

We have a troll in our midst and it is like a bird with an upset stomach flying overhead. At this rate it will be dehydrated soon.
Jas. 2:13 "For he shall have judgment without mercy, that hath shewed no mercy, and mercy rejoiceth against judgment."
Job 40:11-12 "Cast abroad the rage of thy wrath: and behold every one that is proud, and abase him.
Look on every one that is proud, and bring him low, and tread down the wicked in their place."
---nana on 6/1/11

Poopsey: Knowing your father was an alcoholic, explains your attitude and behavior. Have you ever attended Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACoA) Meetings offered by Al-Anon? You have a lot of the attitudes of ACoAs.

Your victim mentality, and immature insistence that everything be fair are starters. Also, ignoring repeated attempts by Alan to point out that there is more than one John on Christianet, and that everyone has been insulted by one of the one of them.

Or, you can continue to throw your fits and temper tantrums, insisting that everyone here is insulting you.

Mature Christians bear the Fruit of the Spirit, which includes patience, love, joy, gentleness and self-control.
---Trish on 6/1/11

alan8566_of_UK: I speak from personal experience. My dad was an alcoholic who quit but still had the bad attitude. There are lots of these on his side of the family and I think my sister married one but she wouldn't admit it. I don't like alcoholics and their attitudes. As for Trish? She put words in my mouth and twisted my meanings.

Haz27: I don't have a problem with debating. But debating and personal insults are totally different.

I have been personally insulted on here and specific lies were told about me, my husband and marriage and I have yet to receive an apology from the ones who lied about me. And John has added yet one more insult to this. No one has repented of their slander.
---poopsey on 6/1/11

Poopsey: You are definitely twisted in your thinking now. I never, on any post, said that I support John. I have said that I ignore him.

As for saying you said you were too mature for discipleship, that was MY MISTAKE. I misunderstood your answer regarding that subject. If there were ever a woman who needed discipleship, it is you. You have a lot to learn about the Bible and being controlled by the Holy Spirit.

I am not a drunk. I have no clue where that line of thinking is even coming from. But, from your tirades and temper tantrums, I question your sobriety, and your maturity big time.
---Trish on 6/1/11

Poopsey ... Alcoholics dry or wet are complete moronic idiots. They are nasty to the core and twist things around like you are doing.

Where do you get all this from

An alcoholic who has been dry for 20 years is so bad as that?

Why so?
---alan8566_of_UK on 6/1/11

Poopseye .. You really must get your head away from the idea that "alcoholic" equals "drunk"

Many drunkards are fortunate enough never to become alcoholics.

And many drunkards become alcoholics.

And many who become alcoholics have never been drunkards.

And many of them remain alcoholic drunjards.

But if an alcoholic, drunkard or not, stops drinking, and become dry, they are no longer drunkards, nor do they get drunk, but they remain alcoholics, even after half a lifetime of not touching alcohol
---alan8566_of_UK on 6/1/11

Trish: Are you a dry drunk? You point out what I said but neglect why I said it? You support hypocrites like John. Good for you self-righteous hypocrite.

John: You are a slanderer. Just because I am angry and defended myself against lies spoken about me does not make me mentally ill. This is just one more way to abuse and bully. You are a loser.
---poopsey on 5/31/11

Trish: Alcoholics dry or wet are complete moronic idiots. They are nasty to the core and twist things around like you are doing. You are the one who accused me of saying I was too mature for discipleship. I never stated such. I just said I am not interested in being discipled. But continue your lies like the rest on here.

You should be questioning people that call women HAWKS and HEREFORD, etc. when they don't even know the person. No one has a right to say such nasty things about anyone whether they know them or not.

I don't need nor do I want your self-righteous condescending prayers. Maybe you should grow up and grow a brain.

This place is full of liars and religious hypocrites. Just losers on the internet.
---poopsey on 5/31/11

Brandy: Leave your husband. Abuse doesn't go away and it doesn't get any better. Unless he is willing and can show by his actions that he is willing to change then there is no hope.

Ask God what to do and if it is time to go or give it some more time.
---poopsey on 5/31/11

Many of us here when we first debated on CN reacted angrily/abusively to those we disagreed with. And as several here have testified to you, we eventually learnt to handle disagreements and misunderstandings better.

This is an opportunity for you to learn how to debate and disagree respectfully just as many of us have learnt here also. And also forgiving 7x70.
---Haz27 on 6/1/11

I believe from reading Poopsey posts, that this person may in fact be mentally ill.

She may be very unstable mentally. So it might be best to ignore her for her sake. As Christians You don't want to push her over the edge.

It looks like its gone too far and I believe we are dealing with someone with a mental disorder and not a sane person that you would argue with.
---John on 5/31/11

Poopsey: You have a lot of anger, and it is being spewed all over the place on these blogs. I have never judged you, but questioned your choice of words, and asterisks, in replying to people here. You see yourself as a victim, and that is part of the problem. I am questioning your judgement in how you choose to reply to people who you perceive as wronging you.

I challenge you, because I have been on Christianet for years, and used to reply as you are doing, and I was wrong. Also, you are a woman, and I care about you.

You can reject my prayers all you want. I will still pray for you to grow up and start allowing God to control your words.
---Trish on 5/31/11

Trish: I don't want your prayers. You are just like those that insulted and lied about me.

Is it Christian to use mock names to provoke someone? Is it Christian to lie about me and insult and degrade me?

And then I get judged when I can't take the abuse anymore and fight back?

People like you and company are the reason why people either lose their faith or don't want to become Christians in the first place.

You and your friends are being used by the Devil to hurt me and you and your friends will answer up to God for what you have done.
---poopsey on 5/31/11

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Things are about the same. Memorial Day was not good. He blew up the day before, the anger carried over, and messed up the holiday.Son is acting up now.
---Brandy on 5/31/11

Proverbs 13:10 KJV

Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.

No man can tame the tongue, but it can be submitted to the government of the Spirit who can bridle it. The does not offend in word.

Great peace have they that love Thy law, and nothing shall offend them.
---Linda on 5/31/11

"So basically go **** yourself."
---poopsey on 5/30/11

Poopsey, you told me on another blog that you were a mature Christian who did not need discipleship. Is this the behavior of a mature Christian, one that is bearing the fruit of the Spirit? I will be praying for you and your husband.
---Trish on 5/30/11

So basically go **** yourself.
---poopsey on 5/30/11

Look, poopsey. You have got me exhausted with all this. I knew I should never have allowed myself to be dragged into such a dishonorable diatribe.

You've done it with about a dozen others. And most haven't even come close to the kind of foul-mouthed, abusive language you've used. And all the while you're calling foul when you've been the one instigating it.

I really would appreciate it if you would refrain from ever commenting toward me again.

I must apologize to the entire ChristiaNet community. I should have known better than to be so gullible
---James_L on 5/30/11

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Listen James_L the Loser: You brag about how many women you have dated and rate them like a pure scum would. Then how come you are not in a long-term relationship by now?

Maybe you should stop insulting me along with your scum buddy John the phony baloney hypocrite.

This place is a total joke. Evil men like John and you insult people and John has put down more than one woman on here and people do nothing about it.

And you guys call yourselves Christians? What a joke. You condone and support evil. You are pretenders and possibly nut cases.

So basically go **** yourself.
---poopsey on 5/30/11

\\Haz27: I responded to your garbage verbage on the other blog.\\
---poopsey on 5/28/11

What else did you say in that other blog?

\\I'm done with you and your loser friends.\\
---poopsey (earlier) on 5/28/11

Since earlier you said you were done with Haz, and then later wrote to him, you did not keep your word. That makes you a liar and a hypocrite, no?

Now, that's not my assessment, but your own. You accused someone of saying one thing and doing another, and accused him of lying and hypocrisy because of it.

---James_L on 5/28/11

Haz27: I responded to your garbage verbage on the other blog. Basically buzz off you self-righteous hypocrite.

You speak about love yet you don't practice what you preach. You are blind to your own sin since you have deceived yourself into believing you are sinless.

No point putting me or Robyn down. Time to look at yourself. It is more than obvious that anyone that gives me any positive comments will be insulted by you and your self-righteous creep friends.

I'm sure God will pay you and company back for all the lies you said about me, my husband and my marriage.
---poopsey on 5/28/11

Robyn said to poopsey:
"Don't let the devil make you lose your ministry"---Robyn on 5/21/11

There is no ministry for the type of attitudes you and poopsey promote.

Try love instead, for a change.
God commands it 1John 3:23
---Haz27 on 5/28/11

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John: You are talking about yourself. You have a mental problem and you need professional help!
---poopsey on 5/28/11

poopsey you said:
"...Rhonda, Haz27, John, yourself and others who are my enemies..."


Your attributes keep sinking to lower levels. Soon you will reach the cesspool.
---John on 5/28/11

Robyn: Your encouragement is greatly appreciated. Thank you.
---poopsey on 5/24/11

The parallel term for misogyny (hatred of women) is misandry (hatred of men). Theyre pronounced mis-AHJ-uh-nee and mis-AN-dree.

The "feminist" movement is a political movement that espouses reproductive (i.e. abortion) rights. Not all woman who feel they have rights, agree with this.
---Donna66 on 5/21/11

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Poopsey: Please don't pay attention to the demons at this site. They are everywhere.At home,your job..everywhere.CN is for everyone. Saved and unsaved alike. Stand your ground and bind them in the name of Jesus. Don't let the devil make you lose your ministry. You give a lot of godly wisdom and insight on this blog. Stand firm and put the devil on the run. And see the salvation of the Lord.
---Robyn on 5/21/11

Trish: I have been accused numerous times of being a feminist and I am not a feminist. I am very traditional and probably an anomaly in today's society. However, I do believe that husbands should treat their wives with respect and we are not to be the proverbial doormat.

You can still be a strong person and not be a feminist. Any time some man has accused me of being a feminist it was never a compliment but a put down.
---poopsey on 5/22/11

Poopsey: It is possible to be a feminist and not a man-hater. I do not hate men, but I am a feminist. Feminists believe in women's rights, and will act politically, if necessary, to secure those rights.
---Trish on 5/20/11

alan8566_of_UK: I agree with most of what you are saying. Either extreme position of woman hater(misogynist) or man hater(feminist) is wrong.

Relationships take two and whoever is doing the wrong is the one in the wrong irregardless of their gender. It's really not about gender but about a person's heart and how they relate to their mate. And of course for every action there is a reaction and then the cycle continues as is the case in abuse.
---poopsey on 5/20/11

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Poopsey ... they are only enemies if you make them that.

Some here are very forthright in their views, and cruelk in the way they put them ... there is nothing personal in it!

And some men (and even some women) will always blame to woman for marital difficulties ... for example when a husband is unfaithful, it is because his wife does not treat him as boss (and submit to his unreasonable demands)

And some women are ardent anti-male femimists, perhaps with good reason because of the treatment they have received
---alan8566_of_UK on 5/19/11

poopsey you said:
"...Rhonda, Haz27, John, yourself and others who are my enemies..."


Hang around CN a bit longer and you'll see how wrong you are.
---Haz27 on 5/19/11

mrs.p. if you think that I am playing or that i am disingenuous, please forgive me.

evidently, i have given you many reasons not to pray for me. you have the freedom to pray for me or not.

May God always bless you with the Holy Spirit's Patience and Love.
---aka on 5/18/11

mrs. p. from my pov, you are not my enemy. if you want to consider me your enemy, then you have the freedom.

You do not have enough history to know how relate to each other and how we talked to each other in the past.

again, my request is that you pray for me and those who are persecuting you.
---aka on 5/18/11

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aka: You are playing around. What you state applies to you also.

I asked for you to give me a prayer request for you personally and a specific one. It was nothing to do with anyone else.

If you want to play that game then you ask Rhonda, Haz27, John, yourself and others who are my enemies to pray for me.

It goes both ways aka and it is more than obvious that your request was not sincere in the least.

For one last time give me a specific prayer request for you personally or just forget the manipulative head games.

And since I am your enemy you are supposed to bless me so I will be waiting for that also.

Have a good day!
---poopsey on 5/18/11

Poopsey if my intent was to Lie. I would have never stated in CAPS that....

I am NOT married.

You keep using symantics to Judge people.
---John on 5/17/11

//Give me your prayer request// mrs. p

My request is that you pray for Rhonda, Haz27, John, francis, me, and others that persecute you so.

Jesus must have had a reason for suggesting: "But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

You will see if you follow wise counsel. It is not a command, although, so you do not have to do it.

There is no trick from the Lord Jesus only blessing.
---aka on 5/17/11

//Give me your prayer request//

My request is that you pray for Rhonda, Haz27, John, francis, me, and others that persecute you so.

Jesus must have had a reason for suggesting: "But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

You will see if you follow wise counsel. It is not a command, although, so you do not have to do it.

There is no trick from the Lord Jesus only blessing.
---aka on 5/17/11

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akypoo: No matter what I say you will always find something wrong with it so you can keep this thing going.

Call another human a joke? That reference was to Rhonda and not you since she is mean to women that are in hurting relationships. And in case you forgot I was compared unfavorably to women like her of which I don't appreciate. Everyone is an individual and should be treated as such.

You say I cannot give what I do not have inside? What kind of comment is that? You don't know my heart. Only God does. I am very able to forgive and love if that is what you are referring to.

Give me your prayer request and stop making things up that are not true just to make yourself look better. I'll be waiting.
---poopsey on 5/17/11

John: Okay John I'm calling you out on your lies. You state "I'M NOT MARRIED!"

On the Husband Never Buys Me Gifts blog you stated "how do you treat your wives? Like gold or like garbage?
---poopsey on 5/12/11
NEITHER!!! I treat her like a Human Being!

So there you go. I thought and now I know that you and your little friends are big phonies and I'm not playing this game anymore.

I am obviously not welcome here and have been attacked by misogynistic liars. I don't have time for this and my time could be and is going to be better spent.

Thank you and goodbye!
---poopsey on 5/17/11

you need to take care of your own marriage and make sure it is what it is supposed to be.
---poopsey on 5/16/11

---John on 5/16/11

//akypoo...Thank you and good luck!//

considering my seemingly egregious behavior. i asked for your reconsideration, your forgiveness, and your prayers several times.

what started as indignation to a very benign joke has turned into extreme sarcasm, insincerity, and wishes good luck.

You ask me to talk to you like a human, yet you think it ok to call another human a joke?

i did say before to Haz27 that you cannot give what you do not have inside. Please give that to the One who can replace that with mercy and grace.

May God forgive us all for the things that we say and misinterpret and open our eyes to what we need to see. We do not deserve your mercy but you give us grace. Thank you, Lord.
---aka on 5/16/11

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akypoo: You made false assumptions about my husband so I corrected you on that. The man is in the position of leader so he has the greater responsibility. That is fact. If he mistreats his wife then his prayer life is hindered.

I never said my husband is accountable for my behavior, YOU DID!

My husband gives me suggestions and not commands. He just doesn't want me getting worked up over people like you who have nothing better to do. I am still free to decide what I am going to do and he knows that.

And I already told you before that it was because of your lie that I resumed the dialogue.

Now why don't you stop talking to me or at least if you want to talk act like a human being.

Thank you and good luck!
---poopsey on 5/16/11

Johnypoo: I am not a materialist so my marriage cannot be based on material things. My marriage is based on love and me and my husband have passed the test of time for 18 years married.

We have ups and downs but put up with each other and stick by each other and that is what love is. Love is when you can be in the same room and you don't have to talk all the time and you still feel a connection to the other person. Love is when you can disagree and even argue with your spouse yet still hold them at night and wake up to the same person and still be glad that you are there.

Instead of insulting me and my marriage you need to take care of your own marriage and make sure it is what it is supposed to be.
---poopsey on 5/16/11

Poop sey, it sure sounds like you have an artifical and very shallow relationship with your Husband.

One that is strictly based on material gifts etc.
---John on 5/16/11

mrs. p, Again, you speak what I did not. Everybody has good and bad points. I did not say that your husband is perfect. As for Haz27, John, Rhonda, francis, and the others that you put down, they all have good points and bad points too, but you don't know diddly squat.

You stated that the man bears the most responsibility in a marriage. Therefore, he is accountable to God for your behavior. Your husband advised you to not deal with me, yet you still do (despite you saying that you won't.) but, don't worry...there are many of that kind. They come and go...but please do not wait until you are face-to-face with Jesus to learn about ultimate responsibility.

and everything to you is a jab. you would not have it any other way.
---aka on 5/16/11

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aka: Correct akypoo but you made sure you got the last jab on the other blog, didn't you? You little devil. It is time for you to behave yourself now and relax like your counterparts and take a hot bath and read your favorite Harlequin Romance novel.

I understand basic English alright and I could outwit you in a second.

As for my husband? You know diddly squat. He has good and bad points but compared to most men he is the prize peach. But if circumstances get worse or something happens then I will survive as always.

Now relax and let those Calgon bubbles take you away.
---poopsey on 5/16/11

//Communication is not one of his strong points and he doesn't mind arguing if that is what it takes to resolve a conflict.// poopsey

//he probably would rather use communication to resolve rather than argument.// aka

I did not say he is a good communicator, i said he is a good gift giver, wise, and would rather use good communication from my observation of your words.

mrs. p, since seemingly cannot understand basic english, i am a liar, slanderer, false accuser, woman-hater, and a bad man as you say, who does not deserve your forgiveness, can you please pray for me, please?
---aka on 5/15/11

mrs. p,

i did not say anything to you on this blog. if we could, let's not bring our other communication here too.

again, i ask, since seemingly i cannot understand basic english, my posts are always a personal attack on you, i am a liar, slanderer, false accuser, woman-hater, and a bad man as you say, who does not deserve your forgiveness, can you please pray for me, please?
---aka on 5/15/11

aka: You don't know my husband and you are wrong. Communication is not one of his strong points and he doesn't mind arguing if that is what it takes to resolve a conflict.

My whole point was that arguing and abuse are not the same thing. I guess you missed that. Abuse is purposely trying to destroy another either mentally or physically on a consistent basis.

You stated "So, when you do it, it is ok, but when others do it, you have no tolerance?" That is a false accusation and you are putting words in my mouth. It is nothing to me if other couples argue but actual domestic abuse is another thing.

I see that you like complimenting my husband and insulting me. That figures!
---poopsey on 5/15/11

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mrs. p.,

your coming out of no more response to me is because of me? my "lies" have led to you ignoring the good advice of your husband.

I never said that you said that you love to argue. //you said that there is nothing wrong with arguing.// aka 5/14 in Depression Among Christians blog

//Arguing is not liking what someone has said or done and speaking about it. Arguing is so that a problem can be aired out and resolved.// poosey

So, when you do it, it is ok, but when others do it, you have no tolerance?

Your husband hears it from your side. from what little i know of your husband, he is a good gift giver and wise. he probably would rather use communication to resolve rather than argument.
---aka on 5/14/11

aka: I would have to retract my not responding to you since you have lied about me and what I said.

I never said I love to argue. I said that arguing is not abuse. Everyone is different but if you need to argue to get things resolved then so be it.

This is the blog you were referring to so everyone can see what I really said.

And again, thank God my husband is not like you and company.

I've talked to my husband about your posts and he thinks I should not waste my time since he knows how upset I get. My husband doesn't agree with you and your buddies either.
Thank God there are at least some decent and godly men out there.
---poopsey on 5/14/11

ADETUNI Based on my past experience in Marital Counseling, an abused person would be better off not looking for another mate. Usually if they do, they just gravitate to another abuser. (You have them even in Christian circles.)
---wivv on 5/13/11

Wivv: You are encouraging her to get out of her husband's life, can you give her another husband or lover that will be better than the one she has now? The Lord Jesus said "every idle word will be judged".
---Adetunji on 5/13/11

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//You better get out of there while you can.//

just today, i heard a story of a man who was raised in a family where his father was physically abusive to his mother.

one day, early in his marriage, he struck his wife. she said that she did not let it hurt. She told him, "You struck me twice... once in the face and once for the last time". She told him that she is not his mother and that he is not his father, and that does not belong in their marriage. if he struck her again, she would disappear and he would never find her. He never hit her again.

Of course, hers was not a threat, but a proper boundary. You must be serious about what you say and willing to do what you say.
---aka on 5/12/11

You better get out of there while you can. Just the fact he apologized is a sure sign his abuse will continue. Not only is the situation very bad for you, it's also bad for your son. In all the abuse cases I've dealt with, they can all be traced back to the child seeing one of his parents getting abused by the other parent. The son, when he marries will think beating his wife is normal. After all, he will think, it got results. Get out and do not tell him where you are going.
Make sure you report his abuse to the police or he can say you abandon him.
---wivv on 5/11/11

Arguing is not abuse. That is just plain ridiculous. Arguing in marriage is a part of life. There is a big difference between arguing and just not getting along and actual abuse.

Abuse is intended to destroy another human being either mentally or physically. Arguing is not liking what someone has said or done and speaking about it. Arguing is so that a problem can be aired out and resolved.

Abuse is not about dealing with problems but all about power and control.
---poopsey on 5/10/11

Brandy, if he was violent, get out of there, with your son, while you are still alive. Go to a battered women's shelter. Get a lawyer to protect your rights and get a Protection From Abuse order from the judge.
---Trish on 5/10/11

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Arguing is abuse, and the bad example of arguing violates children and can damage them so they do not know how to relate in love, after having parents who are bad examples. And then they can be broken enough so they become gay, abortionists, and/or do not know how to make their marriages work. So, do not give in to the temptation to violate your son with a bad example. Jesus says to deny ourselves and take up our cross "daily" and follow Him (Luke 9:23-24). God bless us all to do better, then!
---Bill_willa6989 on 5/10/11

Brandy, tell him to also apologize to son.
---Eloy on 5/9/11

Just 4 days before Mothers Day he was angry and violent. On Mothers Day he was his nice and kind self. Bought flowers,cleaned the house,made dinner. Very nice. Did apologize to me. Did not apologize in front of son or to son. Who witnessed everything.
---Brandy on 5/9/11

There are many things you could do. Like, Go to the church and find the biggest brawniest and most muscular Christian and tell him about your husbands violent abuse, and ask him to come to your house and put your abusive husband in line, and force your husband down into a chair and to listen, "You will not raise your voice nor a chair nor a finger against your wife again! Do you understand little man?!" After he affirms that he understands, you tell him, If you EVER TRY THIS SIN AND VIOLENCE AGAIN AGAINST YOUR WIFE, YOU WILL BE ON YOUR OWN BECAUSE ME AND OUR SON WILL LEAVE YOU!"
---Eloy on 5/8/11

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Some of these responses make me think of the cavewoman who said "if I had not argued with him, he wouldn't have dragged me around by the hair"!!! Abuse is abuse is abuse.
---Mary on 5/8/11

The Bible says, "Do all things without complaining and disputing," (Philippians 2:14) > I would say "disputing" is arguing. God commands us not to argue. So, if someone tempts you to argue, do not give in to the temptation to break God's love commandment not to argue. But be faithful to our Groom by not having any affairs with Satan, by arguing. Be God's example of this. Secular counselors have reported in a study that housewives said their depression problems started after increased arguing in their marriages. Arguing is joy-dead. I can see it may help to break you down into the joy-deadness of depression. So . . . God bless you! (c:
---Bill_willa6989 on 5/7/11

Ask God what you should do!!!!
---KarenD on 5/7/11

Brandy "Only by pride comets contention: but with the well advised [is] wisdom. A proud and haughty man,"Scoffer" is his name, He acts with arrogant pride. If you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your heart, do not boast, and lie against the truth. This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing [is also] there. What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don't they come from evil desires at war within you?"
"What do I do?" Make sure that none of the aforementioned is applicable to you. If not, leave the situation before the violence escalates, you are unequally yoked
---Josef on 5/7/11

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Mary: My previous comment is Biblical. Much controversy & argument is not of God. If the 2 parties do not contribute to it, it dies quickly. She emphasized that she is the Christian, hope you know the Lord expects us to influence our homes by our faith in Him. With Godly wisdom (which i know is not always easy to practise), even her husband can be converted.
---Adetunji on 5/7/11

Adetunji!!! What country are you from?! Is that how you treat women there?!
---Mary on 5/6/11

jane doe, it's NOT too late to "fix" you. He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Pray and ask the Lord to heal you. Stand on that scripture. Say it every day, all day long and it will become Spirit and Life to you. The word of God is able to heal you. "He sent forth His word and Healed them."

It's not too late to get the healing you need. I went through the same thing and God healed me so deeply.

It took a while for me to get used to not hurting, but once He heals you, you will love the "not hurting" feeling.

"For He Himself is Your Peace."

He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry.

I wil be praying for you.
---anon on 5/6/11

You tell your husband if he threatens you physically again that you are calling the police. Then if he actually physically abuses you you make good on your threat.

He is probably just testing you to see how far he can go. Stop it now before it goes any further.
---poopsey on 5/6/11

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Pipe down. It appears to me that some fuel is also coming from you to "escalate the argument". One cannot mix wordly & godly wisdom together to win. Choose godly wisdom, James 3, Phil.2:1-11.
---Adetunji on 5/6/11

I have to reply to this one. My mother married my step-father a long time after my real father died. My step-father became abusive verbally and physically to my mother, my sister, and myself. I was just a teenager when this happened to us, and I could never understand why she stayed with him. She would tell me many times that God would punish her if she left---because He doesn't believe in divorce. I ended up suffering with post traumatic stress disorder among other things--even though the abuse eventually did stop---it came too late to fix things mentally. to me. My dear mother is gone now to heaven. But I wonder what my life would have been like had my mother left and stayed gone.
---jane_doe on 5/5/11

I know this is frightening. I lived for years in such a relationship, believing that as a christian I should remain with my husband, love and forgive him. Abuse only gets worse, unless of course God intervenes. I felt I had to stay in that relationship to be obedient to God, until I realized that as the mother of our children, Gods will was for me to protect my children and so I was able to seperate. So much damage was done, and if I had seperated sooner, it may have been better for my children
---Christina on 5/5/11

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