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Wife Slept With My Friend

Married 4 years. Together for 7. 1 child. Admit not being the Bible based husband my wife needed. Left me 6 months ago. Started living with a mutual friend. She came back and admitted they slept together. According to her, no guilt on her part because "we weren't together". I am a believer. What do I do?

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 ---jay3338 on 5/10/11
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Jay, can you give us some information to what is the latest going on with your wife? I hope you are not with her now, because if you are you are going to go through a whole lot seeing her go out and not knowing what is going on. You will become suspicious on everything she does and it will be torture for you. Please keep us in touch
---Mark_V. on 7/20/11

Mystery, or whoever, What do you believe about someone remarrying if a marriage has been annulled on the basis of bigamy?
---Christina on 7/15/11

Marriage is for life. Give careful, prayerful consideration prior to deciding to divorce. Divorce is a man-made condition and Jesus told us that although Moses provided for a writ of divorcement, from the beginning of time, it was not so. If you and your wife are unable to forgive and resolve your issues, just know that should you divorce and remarry you will be committing/living in adultry. There is no biblical support for remarriage after divorce. Don't let that "exception" verse fool you............. but thats the subject for another blog! Blessings.
---Mystery on 7/14/11

Marriage does not succeed when one or both parties do not take their marriage serious.
---Eloy on 7/9/11

This is weird! today talk'n bus stop to Catholic priest...Same thing..What should Arnold's Stwartznegger Wif do?He said Maria Schriver should forgive take him back! We debated bk & forth! Mi opinion... Don't take him back! Her kids ... Need to see her strong! This nap helped them up put things n spective Sure Worked out! Elena
---ELENA on 7/7/11

If you love her u should forgive her,as God forgives us of our sins. Think of your child and I pray that everything will work out.God Bless!
---brenda on 7/7/11

Luke 16,18 Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery.
---RICHARDC on 6/5/11

---John on 5/31/11

Mark, it's always encouraging to hear testimonies of what God has done in peoples lifes. Thank you for sharing that story.
---Christina on 5/24/11

Christina, again great advice. Which reminds me of another case concerning a sister who's husband left her and the children. She waited for 20 years for him to come back. Now, who would wait that long? not many. But she put her faith in God, and continued her life always praying for him and trusting in God. When he came back, not long after he became a great pastor, and also both of her sons. They saw what their mom had done, for she was a great example for her sons and the faith she had on Christ. She is the one who witness to my former deceased wife the gospel. A sister with great faith. Not many like her nowadays. What a miracle God did in their family.
---Mark_V. on 5/19/11

Jay, First and foremost, trust in the Lord, with all your heart and in all ways acknowledge Him. I'm glad you have forgiven her and do not wish to divorce. You are right, God IS able. It may take time. There's no telling what she may choose, but if you now act in a more Godly way/loving, you will be an example to your children, which alone is awesome. Is your wife a believer? If not, and she chooses to stay, let her, and if she chooses to go, let her. (read 1 Cor 7:12-16). May God bless you.
---Christina on 5/17/11

Jay, I had a case similar to yours. It concern a brother who's wife left him. He loved her so much he would do anything. I told him his wife had a problem he could not fix, and that problems don't disappear over night. I told him not to take her back unless he knew she had changed. Because God had to change her and also himself. As long as the problem remained there was going to be more hurt. One day he called me after many months not hearing from him, and he told me she wanted to come back after three weeks gone. What she begin to do was worse, she begin to leave on Fridays and coming back on Sunday's. It was worse then when she left the first time. She couldn't find a place to leave so she knew he would take her back under worse conditions.
---Mark_V. on 5/17/11

You are correct, God does have a stronger presence in your life through these trials.
We have a choice whether to turn to God and His counsel or go it alone. You have chosen God, the right choice.

I went through similar and grew as a result. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Wait on God and trust in His counsel always. Search the scriptures for His help.
---Haz27 on 5/13/11

I appreciate all the advice given here. I have already forgiven her. I forgave her when she told me. But she still talks to him. Even after seeing a change in me, she won't work on the marriage. She is in love with him and cannont give him up. So I am torn. Do I continue to have my heart broken on a daily basis, or do I accept it for what it is and let go. In all my life, God has never had a stronger presence in my life than He does now. I am 100% dependent on Him. I was just curious to see if there were other christian men and women who had gone through a similar situation like mine and how God helped them. God Bless
---jay3338 on 5/12/11

As others here have already pointed out, Forgive.

Seems like your wife is at a resentful and detached stage.
All you can do is love her, seek God's counsel in His word and trust in Him. Read Psalms, many find it helpful through such trials.

And remember Rom8:28:
"And we know that ALL things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose"

Trust in Him.
---Haz27 on 5/12/11

What do I do?:
Seems as if the lttle lady has it all figured out, however, she slept out but exactly what do you mean by "not being the
Bible based husband my wife needed"? You ask but unless you are honest and declare what have you done not up
to par, it would be unfair to judge and to advice... Nevertheless, it is weid she does not do her part with the boy.
Sad but very commonly people marry a Half a Head of Lettuce and then complain that their partner does not act quite right!
---Nana on 5/11/11

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The Bible says God hates divorce, but it doesn't say it is a sin. Jesus says that remarriage after a divorce is adultery, but he does not say any such thing about divorce itself.
---StrongAxe on 5/11/11

I don't want to divorce her. Not in the least bit. I forgave her the minute she told me. Since becoming a believer, I cannot harbor unforgivness in my heart. I am trying very hard to make this work. I am trying and praying to God to be the husband that He requires me to be. But she told me that we will never be back together again. What am I to do? I know that nothing is impossible with God, but at this point, she has made no effort since coming back. I am basically both parents to my son.
---jay3338 on 5/11/11

Don't divorce. please forgive. Divorce is still a sin even after an affair. Anger and hate can destroy your relationship further and child relationship between you. Don't divorce. i have seen a couple get back together after an affair and be strong again so don't give up. yes she sinned but you are called to love her like jesus loved the church.
---Scott on 5/11/11

\\in my view you more so have the grounds to forgive.

Good point.
---Cluny on 5/11/11

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Start by being the Biblical husband you say you have not been.

If your looking for a reason to divorce you certainly have it, in my view you more so have the grounds to forgive.

When family is not performed Gods way they are the worlds way, and by that standard your wife has no reason for guilt, but by Gods standard she has gone astray.

I recommend doing everything you can with Gods help to reconcile this for your child needs both parents in the home if it is a home that will allow for the healthy development of the child.

Praying for you and yours, Paul
---paul on 5/11/11

Be honest with God about how you are, of course ::smile:: God bless you, Jay, it's good to meet you ::smile:: Possibly how you have been has helped to tempt her, but she will answer to God. Is she considering herself to be a Christian? We have 1 Corinthians 7:10-16. Does Jesus dump you because you have cheated on our Groom Jesus . . . by having affairs with Satan and his arguing (Philippians 2:14-16), getting into relationships with unforgiveness (Mark 11:25-26)??? Make sure your ground is in Jesus, "rooted and grounded in love" (Ephesians 3:17-21). Be a good example to any kids in how you take care of this!
---Bill_willa6989 on 5/10/11

Sounds to me iike you have grounds for divorce on both adultery and abandonment.

You need to search your heart and see what God wants in this situation.

Christ is risen!
---Cluny on 5/10/11

" am a believer. What do I do?"
That is entirely up to you Jay. You have the right to divorce her, or the privilege not to. Either way forgive for your sake and ask hers.
Harboring unforgiveness and resentment can only hinder your walk with the Father.
---joseph on 5/10/11

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