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Husband Is A Selfish Pig

Husband doesn't celebrate special occasions. He fought with mom and didn't wanna celebrate mother's day. I Bought my gift from the kids and her mother's. I don't want my kids to grow selfish or ungrateful like him. How can I break this bad habit? Maybe not celebrating Father's day as a lesson for him?

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 ---Lucy on 5/14/11
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I agree with Donna66.

What is important is to respect your husband and let him know he is respected and appreciated.

You children will learn by your example, not his. Be bigger not bitter.....
---chip on 8/29/12

I'm not married!
---John on 5/16/11

We can all most definately see why!
---Jed on 8/26/12

Well, I "shewed" for 13 years and never received a gift or recognition for anything- he never got me air g, even. I was left to fend for myself after being in a nasty car accident. You can "shewing" all you want- you are wasting your energy. Hand him over to his father, Satan, and be done with it.
---MJ on 8/25/12

he not a 'scrounger' what is one of them the fact that he does not give into certain traditions don't make him the names you are using that is to be derogatory.

Name calling should be left in the play ground unless it is a factual illustration of someone in terns of being stereotypical, factious, etc.

The man clearly has issues.... name calling neither solves the problem or highlights a valid solution.

I can never understand why 'christians' resort to childish school mentalities.

Are we assume the justifications I'm sure that will come after highlighting this justifies childish mannerisms?.

---Carla on 5/22/11

Excellent advice Cluny and Donna66!!!
Matt.8:4 "And Jesus saith unto him, See thou tell no man, but go thy way, shew thyself to the priest, and offer the gift that Moses commanded, for a testimony unto them."
---Nana on 5/21/11

'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.'

so, by withholding, what are you really teaching them?
---aka on 5/22/11

Want to teach your kids to unselfish and not ungrateful?
Buy gifts for your children to give their grandmothers (both if they have both). Plan a special day for you and your children on Mother's Day. They will learn by example.

Don't worry about your husband not going along with all this. You are not likely to change HIM, so don't bother to try.
On Father's day have the children get him gifts and plan a special meal or a special outing that he might enjoy. If he doesn't like it, too bad. (And he's worse than a scrooge if he discourages his kids!) You are teaching your children. And chances are they will imitate you (not him) when they are grown, because your way is more fun.
---Donna66 on 5/20/11

\\I don't want my kids to grow selfish or ungrateful like him. How can I break this bad habit? Maybe not celebrating Father's day as a lesson for him?\\

Let me paraphrase what you're saying.

Refusing to give something to your husband on Father's Day will teach your children not to be selfish and not to follow their father's example.

Do I understand you right?

Christ is risen!
---Cluny on 5/20/11

Poopsey ... there is (or are) more than one John here.

The one who uses lots of UPPER CASE often seems to be offensive about those who hold opposing views.

You will get used to it

Trish has been the subject of hounding and insult, and has learned to harden herself to it. She's quite right to recommend you to do the same.

There are some here who will just not accept that other people are allowed to hold and express different and opposite views. Don't join them.
---alan8566_of_UK on 5/19/11


Have you considered the possibility that there might be more than one person named John posting here, one married, one not? Common names are often used by multiple people, creating confusion. Less common names (like poopsey and StrongAxe) or ones involving numbers (like Bill_willa6989) are less likely to be multiple people. When I first started on this blog several years ago, I used my real name, but when there were one or two others also using it, I switched to this one to avoid confusion.
---StrongAxe on 5/18/11

Don't render evil for evil rather give him a wonderful fathers day not being over the top but lovingly show your husband the same love Christ showed us greater love is this that a man should lay down his life for a friend!

Be good, be godly, live righteously, be blessed.

live for evil, die for evil and reap evil.
---Carla on 5/18/11

John: You lied and now you are denying the post you made stating how you treated your wife.

Absolutely unbelievable!
---poopsey on 5/18/11

John: The proof that you lied is right in front of you. I'm not going to post it again.
---poopsey on 5/18/11

Poopsey if my intent was to Lie. I would have never stated in CAPS that....

I am NOT married.

You keep using symantics to Judge people.
---John on 5/17/11

John: No point mocking Mary since you stated you are married on the Husband Never Buys Me Gifts blog. What right do you have to try to make fools out of other people like this? That is very Christian now isn't it?

By your own admission John you are married.

how do you treat your wives? Like gold or like garbage?
---poopsey on 5/12/11
NEITHER!!! I treat her like a Human Being!

And just to let you know you can keep your lies and insults and the same goes for your misogynist friends. I am out of here and have better things to do.

Maybe you should find better use of your free time other than abusing other people and lying.
---poopsey on 5/17/11

Mary, Mary, quite contrary!

I'm not married!
---John on 5/16/11

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iron certainly sharpens iron


irony (x2 in this case) definitely dulls iron.
---aka on 5/16/11

Your place is to be conformed to the image of Christ, not change those who aren't.
---Linda on 5/16/11

"How can I break this bad habit?" This is not your habit to break. We cannot change someone else, but we can influence them. I don't think teaching him a lesson is the way to go. It is a natural reaction to want to do that (May actually be a desire for revenge). We are called to love one another, to forgive, and setting an example would be far more beneficial. The issue is a matter of the heart, both yours and his, and only God is able to change our hearts. Pray for him, and ask God to show you your own heart. The more your focus is God, the more contentment you'll have, no matter the circumstances, and the more effective your life/witness will be. This will also impact your children in a good way.
---christina on 5/16/11

John, how do you treat your own wife? I hope you treat her far better than you do other women, with all the degrading and mean terms you use.
---Mary on 5/15/11

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poopsey, John degrades everyone who disagrees with him.

Christ is risen!
---Cluny on 5/15/11

I "celebrate" Mother's Day and Father's Day by calling my parents. But we must remember these and many other "days" were created by the greeting card industry as ways to increase sales. While they are nice and fine (and "honor your father and mother" IS a Biblical commandment), if we REQUIRE people to celebrate these two holidays, we are imposing on them the bondage of law and of human traditions (and corporate ones, at that).

Colossians 2:16
"Let no man therefore judge you in meat, or in drink, or in respect of an holyday, or of the new moon, or of the sabbath days"

If we are not to judge one another over biblical holy days, how much less should we judge one another over man-made ones.
---StrongAxe on 5/15/11

//Tell your husband that you are not his mom //


Lucy, he needs to be shown how to love. obviously, he never learned how.

if you want to teach him, good. start by praying for him and giving him gifts. to plead your case to him right now is unwise and probably will be counter-productive.

if you want to break the habit, focus on the only Solution (our Father) and not the problem.

plead your case to the Father after you pray for your husband. He is better about changing hearts than we are.

if you nag, argue, and withdraw his gifts, do you really think that will affect change and be a good example for your kids?
---aka on 5/15/11

Tell your husband that you are not his mom and that it isn't fair for him to make you pay for it.

Other than that you won't get a lot of support here since there are certain men and believe it or not some women who seem to be women hater's.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be loved and cherished. And in a marriage both spouses should love each other and give gifts to each other.
---poopsey on 5/15/11

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John: Since this blog is under the category of marriage it is perfectly alright for people to post their marriage problems on here.

I would suggest that if you don't like it that you go to the more spiritual posts that seem to suit you better rather than degrading women by calling them HENS. Capish???
---poopsey on 5/15/11

Yeah, I will comment for the Moderator...
PIG = Poor Ignorant Guy.
John there is no doubt that some squawking hen, as you call them, laid one real scrambled egg in your family.
---Elder on 5/15/11

My former husband was not one for celebrating the "Hallmark Card" days. I did the gift and card shopping for his Mom and mine when we were together. Same for birthdays.

My kids did not follow his pattern, and treated me like a queen this year.

As you said, your husband fought with his mother. Childhood pain comes up for a lot of people around special holidays. I know this from personal experience. My own mother has been mentally ill all of my life, and has verbally abused me since I was a teenager. I am able to see past it, and send her flowers every Mothers Day, but the pain is still there, as she has never seen anything wrong with her behavior.
---Trish on 5/14/11

More Hens!!! Wow a marathon of Squawking hens this month!

Hens turn the mirror away from your own image and look up.

There you will find G-d, but first you must lose your life here on Earth. Yes ladies it includes your vanity and self centered egos.

Still waiting for a real G-dly "WOMEN" to post something about G-d and not about Harlinquim Romance.

Where are the Christian women. All I see are Blogs about Hubby and Boyfriends and Vanity.

---John on 5/14/11

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When you post a blog here, you only post the text. It's the moderators who actually set the topic title. Lucy did not use the word "pig" at all in her post.

If you think that word is in appropriate (and I do agree with you on this), it's something you need to take up with the moderators, rather than with Lucy.

Can any moderators comment on why they think it was appropriate to call someone a "pig" just because he doesn't celebrate Mother's Day?
---StrongAxe on 5/14/11

Have you ever thought that ignoring FAther's Day is to sink to his level?

In any case, what law requires he celebrate "special occasions," especially manufactured commercial ones?

Christ is risen!
---Cluny on 5/14/11

Who called him a pig? that is certainly not Christlike and if name calling is going to do anything it says that we are totally far from being adult about the real situation! perhaps one needs to grow up...
---Carla on 5/14/11

Dear Friend: You should asked this man about these type thing before tying the knot with him. Or after marriage a lot of problems usually crop up that a person hid during the dating period. This is a lot of water under the bridge(anger and other issues) in the relationship that has caused this to happen.He is lashing out at you by not celebrating Mothers Day. Not celebrating Fathers Day is not going to change this man. Seems he is just steeped in evilness and nothing will get his attention short of divorce or separation. I doubt if he even notices that. A sizable problem on your hands.
---Robyn on 5/14/11

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patience compassion prayer forgiveness . . . things to celebrate, and practice makes perfect! (c:
---Bill_willa6989 on 5/14/11

//How can I break this bad habit? Maybe not celebrating Father's day as a lesson for him?//

If you want to "teach him a lesson", make it a lesson in love not in wrath like he already knows as evidenced by his relationship to his mother.

Show him that you love him and that you are not with him to collect affection.

do you think that maybe he married someone like his mother, who may care more about the gift than the one who gives it?

"We are instructed not to take wrath into our own hands.
---aka on 5/14/11

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