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Grown Son Has Bad Attitude

Grown son still taking attitude toward me. The more I do for him and try to get along, the worse he seems to resent me. Thanks for all comments.

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 ---Robyn on 7/2/11
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If grown men don't want to be coddled by their mommies then grow up! Move out of my home!

surprise surprise ...I'll treat my adult children like a simpleton child COMPLAIN because I get attitude because I disrespect them cuz after all it's my house and I can TREAT them however I please!

you wanted ADVICE yet any REASONABLE advise is rejected so you can continue whining and complaining

interesting to see you are here to belly ache only contributing with a self-serving post under guise you are seeking "help"

yet I forget the worlds idea of "christian love" is to have children then kick 'em out when they are 18 - then show up at church with all their hollow love
---Rhonda on 9/15/11

If grown men don't want to be coddled by their mommies then grow up! Move out of my home! I do as I please in my home where I pay the bills! Mothers do what they do. They coddle,dole out love,food, hugs,encouragement. Whatever is needed. I am a true mother.And proud of it! If my sons cannot and does not approve of what I do. They can move on and don't look back. Their are many sons and daughters who would welcome me as their mother. Or wish their mothers were like me. It could be worse,you know.
---Robyn on 9/12/11

Robyn, there is nothing wrong with you asking questions concerning your son. I do see a few around here who complain about whinning (hens) as he calls them. It is because they believe they have it all in hand and cannot see that others are having problems and need someone elses view. In person we would do the same. So don't ever be afraid to post so that others who are brothers and sisters in the Lord can give you their view. Many have gone through this same things and can help. Peace I leave you.
---Mark_V. on 9/9/11

Rhonda: Everyone here is pretty much free to post here

OBVIOUSLY you didn't read my post ...stating same exact topics about a "son" by a "robyn"

YES you are "free" to post same topic incessantly over and over again however I am ALSO freely allowed to post my OPINION on each topic within the bounds of the blogs even if it disagree's with your "right" to your never-ending post of your "son woes"

if you REALLY wanted advice GROWN MEN don't want to be coddled by their mommies - they want space seems if you are always doing and smothering him with getting along you are most likely suffocating him ...if you start there you may find the resentment you perceive to disappear
---Rhonda on 9/8/11

Rhonda: Everyone here is pretty much free to post here. What they choose. Within bounds and regions. That includes me. There are others who are going through parent/son/daughter issues as well. These are the people I am posting to. Not you! Ok! I am only interested in hearing what others(who may be going through the same thing) Have to say.
I read posts and try to help others on this blog. And vice versa. Its none of your business what I say. I don't answer to you.
---Robyn on 9/8/11

Thanks for all comments. They were very interesting.
---Robyn on 7/6/11

"The more I do for him" . . . well, if he resents what you do for him, I suppose Jesus did not force on people what He did for them.

"try to get along" . . . people refused Jesus, and it looks like He did not push Himself on them.

I think I have seen how people do what they suppose others will appreciate, but they never really get to know the people so they can know what they need and would enjoy. Like . . . ice cream is not what I want, now that I have found how dreamy and creamy God's love is. So, someone trying to cram me with ice cream does not work! (c: lololol
---Bill_willa6989 on 7/4/11

Many parents have dealt with the issues that Robyn is struggling with.

Often, it seemed that the MOTHER was Babying her child and Enabling their inappropriate behavior. She was just being a MOTHER.

Meanwhile, the FATHER insisted that the child obey his rules while they lived in his house. He was only being the LEADER that a FATHER should be.

Most often, the problems were settled by the MOTHER realizing that she needed to let her Husband make the final decision on what to do. That often involved KICKING THE KID OUT OF THE HOUSE.

A difficult decision, but also a real Grow-Up warning to the kid. My own 2nd cousin went through this experience and still hasn't shaped up enough to return home. It's all HIS choice!
---Sag on 7/3/11 best advice "tough Love"! HE NOT goin' FIND woman PUT UP that bad attitude! when ' GET OUT HIS own! you sound like "enabler"... not judge my Sister if he adult ... time to join the "REAL WORLD!".. He Respect you Later on...pray too! I think most here say'n it too! God Love my sister...ELENA
---ELENA on 7/3/11

ROBYN SEEK HELP stop posting all of your supposed son "woes" here ...your melo-drama incessant whining is getting really old I can count at least 6 "son issues" posted by a "robyn" within last 6 months - I'm so very sure there are many many more I tallied up the recent ones ...get counseling for YOURSELF instead of complaining here about the same thing twisted and spun a different way so you can keep trashing your son on a blog
---Rhonda on 7/3/11

I believe prayer is essential. Having said that, it's possible to do TOO much for someone, and in doing so, we "spoil" them even if not monetarily. Letting go, allowing and encouraging them to take more responsibility, isn,t always easy, and since all are individuals, how and when you do some things varies. I really believe that your words pinpoint the issue: "the more I do for him and try to get along, the worse he seems to resent me." Your son may respect you more, if you don't do as much for him, but rather, allow him, even insist that he do as much as possible for himself. You can still be encouraging, even supportive, and it's a loving thing to do.
---christina on 7/3/11

Robyn, my son-in-law has a real job. During the summers, he works from 8:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. On weekends he also works those hours. When I visit, he is free to work and I watch the kids. Jesus was a carpenter, and nobody would say that was not a real job.

My daughter and her husband have a good, Christian marriage, and this is what they want till the kids are in school, because they don't want their kids to go to daycare. When the kids go to school, he is free to work year round.

In your reply, you said that you would play the song, "Hit the Road Jack." Why don't you try that on your son with the bad attitude. I did it, and my son now lives on his own, and he treats me with respect.
---Trish on 7/3/11

I just scrolled down and read Robyn's ealier post where she said she let him move back in with her. Maybe Robyn needs to stop babying this grown man and he might start acting like a man.
---KarenD on 7/2/11

Whithout knowing ANY details...what if you tried doing less for Him?
Maybe he needs more independence as an adult.
---Donna66 on 7/2/11

Robyn, if your son is an adult his attitude could possibly be a mirror to how he was raised. Not always, but a lot of the time when adult children have problems with their parents is because the parents failed to establish a genuine relationship with them growing up. One of respect for each other. This is achieved by spending quality time with them in church, Bible reading, fun, games...being available for them to talk with you. Maybe it's not too late to try & establish this kind of relationship now. Our children, no matter how old, need to know they can depend on us to be there & support them emotionally & spiritually.
---Reba on 7/2/11

Is your son living with you? If so, here are three things you can do: 1. Make sure he knows you love him, (with Agape love, not this sloppy stuff), than tell him as long as he is in your house he does what you say, or he can get out. (If he refuses to change or get out, change the door locks.) 2.Stop doing things for him - that may what caused your problem from the start. (Is doing more for him working for you? Not based on what you stated.) 3. Act like his mother and not his slave.

---wivv on 7/2/11

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He DARES to step out of line? (maybe that's because he trusts his dad not to beat him senseless like would happen in the expression of 'TRUST LOVE').

YOU are COMPLAINING (intolerant of your loved one?) that he STILL (what does that mean?) has thoughts and feelings of his own.

Maybe he grew up in a strict family that influenced, controlled, ridiculed, mocked, belittled and ignored his every thought as though he is inadequate and unacceptable. Perhaps "I am who I am" is pleased with and even encouraging his present behavior.

In the past, have you done ANYTHING at all that your son would now feel a need to seek liberty?...maybe yes, maybe no (is he running with a bad crowd?..teenage?).
---more_excellent_way on 7/2/11

I've noticed in your postings here, Robyn, that you don't have the most cheerful attitude towards others, yourself.

I'd be curious to hear your son's side of the story, as well as those of impartial observers.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 7/2/11

Please tell me you are not supporting this grown man.
---KarenD on 7/2/11

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