Never Got An Engagement Ring
I gave up everything when I married. I was sure to have a wedding ring for him, but he did not give me one. After we married I spent over $4000 of my own money plus our "Honeymoon." I still do not have a wedding ring and he still does not buy me anything. How should I feel towards this?
Moderator - Why did you marry him in the first place knowing that he didn't have money if that was an issue for you?
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---Michele on 9/5/11
Helpful Blog Vote (14)
Some women are so desperate to marry, that they are blinded to the obvious...that your desperation is also noted by those who will take you to the cleaners. He hasn't changed.
I have a friend who fell into this same situation. He took her for all her money....and nearly ruined her financially. Thank goodness she opened her eyes before he left her destitute.
---kathr4453 on 7/21/17|
MY PRECIOUSDARLING YOU GOT WHAT YOU BARGAIN FOR.....NOTHING.YOU MARRIED A HEEL AND YOU GOT THE SHORT END OF THE STICK. LIVE WITH IT OR GET OUT. THOSE ARE THE ONLY CHOICES. I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU AND YOUR SITUATION.
---Robyn on 7/6/17|
Too many Christians are so judgmental and critical. I purchase things for my husband not because he is materialistic but because I invest him, I care for him, I show him I adore him. Whether it is a pretty ring or a nice pair of shoes. . it does not have to mean a person only cares about material things. If is about wanting to feel worthy and loved. It does not have to be anything spectacular or exorbitant at all. Just a loving caring gesture that symbolizes affection and love. You guys are making this into something more than it is.
---Dawn on 7/5/17|
Oh well, I love the couple of pieces of my jewelry. Biblical they mean nothing but were gifts from my husband. I wear them proudly.
---Shira4368 on 11/7/13|
dont worry about such things as jewellery dear. It is of pagan origin and it (the rings) has a sexually orientated meaning. Adam n Eve didnt have any ring at all. I never wore mine again after learning of its meaning.
---janz on 11/6/13|
There are no commands, no biblical examples of anyone wearing an engagement nor wedding ring
Wedding bands are an ancient symbol of temple prostitutes.
( google it before you post)
Why would any female want to be identified as such?
---francis on 7/18/13|
The 'engagement ring' exists in only a very few counties in the world, and those being the English/American ones (UK/US/Canada and sometimes in Australia and NZ).
In most other places people just think of it as 'a waste of a man's money'
The wedding band is common in Europe, but is unheard of in Africa and Asia.
I bought one for my Chinese wife, who flatly refuse to wear it!
The traditions, in and out of the Bible, go both ways
---Peter9556 on 7/18/13|
I know how you feel. My hubby and I have been married going on 30 years and he never buys me anything as well. I never got an engagement ring. I see my young nieces getting them from their fiances and it hurts. Talk to your husband and let him know how you feel. Maybe he will understand.Mine doesn't.
---tammy on 7/16/13|
Have you ever asked him why you don't have a wedding ring? Does he know you want one? (For most men a wedding ring is not a big concern so he may not think having a wedding ring is important to you if you haven't told him.) If you have told him, and he ignores the problem, it could be he has no money or is a "free loader".
---wivv on 11/4/11|
I wouldnt rush to attribute the maniacal motives to this couple that some are. In my case, I am one who is not big on receiving monetary gifts at all. I would think nothing of it if I didnt get anything but socks for Xmas from my wife. On the other hand shes a big gift giver and after reading books like the 5 Love Languages before marriage 9 years ago I understand gifts are big for her. He just may be a dunder head when it comes to gifts, not scrooge Mcduck. Communicate your feelings about gifts to him with an attitude of love and understanding...
---Poppa_Bear on 9/12/11|
If you want a marriage ring, simply ask him, "Honey, can you please buy my a nice shiny marriage ring to wear?" Please consider though, that you married your beloved husband and not money. And if you only wanted money, then you should marry a millionaire, and be superficial and stony-hearted.
---Eloy on 9/8/11|
Regardless of where the money ends up (i.e. if it's hers or theirs), if she's making most of it, then she's his meal ticket.
---StrongAxe on 9/8/11|
How should you feel?
You should love him regardless. That's what you both vowed to do when married.
You are NOT the perfect wife and nor is he the perfect husband.
If you want the perfect partner NEVER get married. Jesus is the only perfect husband.
Funny post :)
---Haz27 on 9/8/11|
\\Since she seems to be spending much of her money\\
If she's married, she's spending THEIR money, not hers or his.
Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 9/8/11|
Since she seems to be spending much of her money, and he doesn't seem to be spending any of his, perhaps she is HIS meal ticket?
---StrongAxe on 9/7/11|
Well, if you have really gotten to know him and he is the one you want to be married to, isn't it enough that he gave you himself?
Maybe you were you already married to your own ideals and expectations, before you married him. If you were, then possibly your ideals blinded you so you did not really check him out. If this is so, what he does is not your main problem.
---Bill_willa6989 on 9/6/11|
WELCOME TO THE "SQUAWKING HENS CLUB" MICHELE!!!
Of all the world's atrocities and horrors, your Squawk it definetly above them all!
You should have married a Jewelry Store.
You can get wedding and engagement rings out of Gumball machine as well.
These Artifacts are the most important things in your life.
To which Jesus said...
"I WILL VOMIT YOU OUT OF MY MOUTH!"
But YOU are definitely an honorary member of the Hens Club!
A GREAT ACHIEVEMENT IN DEGRADING WOMAN!
---John on 9/6/11|
Read Gary Chapman's 5 love languages. I think he does not see gifts as anything important while you do. He might be time, service, touch (not sex), cannot remember last one. Maybe you need to tell him you are gifts oriented.
---Scott1 on 9/6/11|
I know a guy who never bought a boucket of flowers to his wife in 35 years of marriage, one day the mother cried about it, and so the children intervened. upon pointing it out to hom, he answered "well she knows where's the money, if she wants flowers so badly she should stop crying and go buy them". his nickle still didn't fall.
---andy3996 on 9/6/11|
Well, you're SUPPOSED to give up everything when you get married, and so is he.
And when you get married, it's not "his money" and "my money". It's OUR money.
Or did you think you were marrying a meal ticket?
Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 9/6/11|
You may not have gotten anything from him because you are doing all the buying. STOP BUYING.
I was in the same situation and when I stopped buying my husband things, he noticed it. I only bought for myself out of my own salary. When he would ask, where's my treat? I would say, "When did you last buy me a treat?"
He finally got the point and when he got his settlement, I asked him, "wouldn't you like to buy me something since I bought you your entire wardrobe?" He did, but I had to ask. Some men just don't think "thoughtfully."
They have to be told. Did you tell your husband you aren't buying anything else because he doesn't buy you anything...don't buy him a think not even toothpaste!
---anon on 9/6/11|
??? you shose him ???
is it a cultural issue, i know in some tribes and families the ring is really neglected.
on the other hand marying without a ring in America? are you married in church, if yes what denomination? MAYBE THERE'S THE PROBLEM.
THEN AGAIN TO MART SOMOEONE IN financial debts is a third possibility. or are you only complaining?
spending all your money in marriage is a common thing "its expensive"
---andy3996 on 9/6/11|
You got a bathtub ring didn't you? If you loved one another that would be enough. "Things" don't make a marriage successful nor do they "prove" love. The first and most important thing that Jesus gave to those He loved was Himself. Try it....
---Elder on 9/6/11|
There had to be signs of his lack of interest in "buying you things" before you married him. It's too late to complain about that now. Just accept him & try to focus on the things that are pleasing about your relationship instead of focusing on the negative things. Try to please him & make him realize how special he is to you. You'll soon be too busy to worry about gifts & who knows but what your actions toward him may spark an interest & desire to give you a gift just because he loves you so much. But if not, there are worse things to happen in a marriage than not getting"things". He's what's important, not the gifts he could be giving you.
---Reba on 9/6/11|