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Would You Take Wife Back

Would you take your wife back after being separated for 7 years and she has a child by some one else?

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 ---hopeful on 1/11/12
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RitaH, A-men.
---Eloy on 1/27/12

Some here seem to be giving the impression that unless this man takes back his wife he is showing that he has not forgiven her. This is not necessarily so. I have forgiven a repeat offender many time and now ensure that I am never in the position to be offended against by this person (I'm not referring to adultery here though). Ensuring that someone does not hurt you again is common sense, not unforgiveness.
---Rita_H on 1/27/12

Eloy, you identify yourself with God because you insist you are born again of the Spirit and cannot be wrong. But the first time you were born of the Spirit you were completely wrong. Didn't you stop to think that this time you are wrong again just like the first time? You judge other with unrighteous judgement. You do your best to put a stumbling block in front of your brothers and sisters if they do not agree with you. Your pride will not let you admit you hate your wife so much that you wish she went to hell. But you have no idea if she is one of God's chosen. You have already condemned her as you have all of us.
---Mark_V. on 1/27/12

Your question reminds me of a friend (John, I think) years ago in a somewhat similar circumstance. His wife had run off with some fellow and taken the kids with her. John remained gentlemanly toward her and of course, loved the kids. One summer, he invited the kids to stay with him and neglected to send them back at the end of the summer. Eventually, to get to the end of the story, she gave in and came home.
John wasn't looking for rules. He was looking for a way to deliver his wife and children from bad choices. I don't think it occurred to him to do otherwise.
Forty years later, he's the one I remember with respect. He was selfless, perhaps Christlike. He was willing to do anything to save to his wife who had gone astray.
---dad on 1/27/12

This is what God Commands about judging: "Misjudge not, that you all be not misjudged.". - eloy

ok...lets use 'misjudge' instead of 'judge' like in the first sentence. remember, the 3rd rule of proper translation is consistency. so, lets be consistent:

"Misjudge not, that you all be not misjudged. For with what [mis]judgment you [mis]judge, you shall be [mis]judged. And with what [mis]measure you all [mis]measure, it will be [mis]measured again to you.

the first rule of proper translation is accuracy of the full text. the second is context, which both clearly are misused by many.
---aka on 1/27/12

\\"Misjudge not, that you all be not misjudged.\\

Wrong again, as in everything youm translate from the Greek.

The Greek word is NOT a negative, but simply "judge."

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 1/26/12

Trish, Do you think my Father is without me? The Father has not left me alone, for I do always those things that please him. You know not me, nor him whom has sent me. trish, let my cracking you up, crack you onto your knees in prayer, pray asking God for his forgiveness for your sins against him. For inasmuch as you have dissed me, who am sent from my Father, you have dissed my Father.
---Eloy on 1/26/12

hopeful, No, I see no reason too.
---Eloy on 1/26/12

Eloy in the spirit of fairness I searched 27 translations to see if any of them said "misjudge" which you say it means,all 27 said "judge"not for as you judge you will be judged. In using "misjudge" instead of judge you do change the meaning and with due respect to you,I'm sorry but its your meaning not the Lords and its not in the Bible as"misjudge". For any Christian anything taught which isn't the Bible is worthless to a Christian in their walk with God. Only by learning God's Word are we equiped to fight the good fight of faith and fight the Devil,for only God's Word,the Bible has power,all other words are fruitless and empty if we try to use them in the Bibles place.
---Darlene_1 on 1/26/12

Darlene_1, This is what God Commands about judging: "Misjudge not, that you all be not misjudged. For with what judgment you all judge, you all be judged. And with what measure you all measure, it will be measured again to you. Judge righteous judgment. Now the spiritual one truly judges everyone, though that one is judged by no denizen." Matthew 7:1,2+ John 7:24+ I Cor.2:15.
---Eloy on 1/26/12

Eloy this is what God's Word says about judging.,Romans 14:9,10,12,13 -Christ died and returned to life,so that he might be the Lord of both the living and the dead. You then why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God's judgement seat. We will give account of ourselves to God. Therefore let us stop passiing judgement on one another. Instead make up your mind not to put a stumbling block or obstacle in your brothers way. We are under the Law of Love which is kind,patient,doesn't envy,boast,isn't rude,proud,selfseeking,easily angered,it keeps no record of wrongs.
---Darlene_1 on 1/26/12

Eloy, your very wrong again. God commands us to,

(Matt. 6:14) "For if you forgive men their trespasses your heavenly Father will also forgive you"
Even when we pray we should also forgive others. (Matt. 6:11,12)
"Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, As we forgive our debtors" Nothing there about the debtor repenting.
"And his master was angry (like you Eloy) and delievered him to the tortures until he should pay all that was due him" That is what you said concerning your wife. But Jesus said,
"So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses" (Matt. 18:34,35).
---Mark_V. on 1/26/12


You said: Trish my words make sense to all those whom have basic english reading skills in comprehension, therefore I suggest that you take a class in basic english on identifying the subject matter in simple prose.

All those who have basic English reading skills know that "whom" is NEVER the subject of a verb. I suggest that YOU take a class in basic English to understand basic English grammar and usage, rather than lecturing others on proper English while yourself using it incorrectly. (This is known as "the pot calling the kettle black", or less charitably, "hypocrisy").
---StrongAxe on 1/26/12

Eloy: You crack me up. Unless you are God, I did not blaspheme anyone. You twisted Scripture to suit your evil purposes. As for taking English, I taught English for decades. It is you who should take an English class. Also, you are the one who needs to get saved, and start serving the Lord.
---Trish on 1/26/12

Trish my words make sense to all those whom have basic english reading skills in comprehension, therefore I suggest that you take a class in basic english on identifying the subject matter in simple prose. And I have never twisted holy scripture as you sinuously bear false witness, and therefore I also strongly that along with taking an english class that you seriously repent from your blaphemy and get saved.
---Eloy on 1/25/12

strongax, sinner, whenever you're ready I'm here.
---Eloy on 1/25/12

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Eloy: Your response to Darlene makes no sense at all, and your ability to twist Scripture to justify your sin is scary.
---Trish on 1/25/12


Even though scripture does not command us to forgive the unrepentent, Jesus himself forgave urepentant people (i.e. his executioners), and we are commanded to be like Christ, so if he did it, shouldn't we also do it?
---StrongAxe on 1/25/12

Darlene, God commands us to "judge righteous judgment", he also says to hold the guilty accountable, "For whose over sins you all regard they are bound." Jn.20:23. God never says to forgive the unrepentant, for releasing the wicked makes the releaser partaker and co-guilty with the wicked, and both are rightly cast into the lake of fire. Still today sinners set free the guilty that are beautiful, rich, and worldly, and they condemn and slay the innocent that are plain, poor, and holy. "Give to us Barabbas, but crucify Jesus". "Free the known murderers and the baby killers back to us, but misjudge the good and take all which they own and extort their money."
---Eloy on 1/25/12


You said: Jesus never forgives the unrepentant, which is obviously false, since from the cross, Jesus forgave his executioners. Or do you believe they were saying "I'm sorry Jesus" while gambling over his clothes?

Luke 23:34
"Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots."

I point out FROM SCRIPTURE that what you say is wrong, yet you insist you are guided by the Holy Spirit.

If a spirit is guiding you to believe and say things that directly contradict things explicitly said in scripture, what makes you sure it is the Holy Spirit?

Either scripture is wrong, or the spirit guiding you is wrong. Which is it?
---StrongAxe on 1/25/12

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Eloy forgiving is for us,we must plant the seeds of the crop we want to grow in our lives,and that unforgiveness keeps God from forgiving us,Mark 11:25 And when you stand praying,if you hold anything against anyone,forgive him,so your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. Of course we have to repent our sins to God,we all know that,that is elementary school religion Mark 24:47 and repentance and forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations-. Unforgiveness focuses on a person himself,how he feels and forgiveness moves on away from oneself and frees man to move to focus where they should,on God. God hates sin,not the world,he so loved the world he gave his only begotten son for its sins.
---Darlene_1 on 1/25/12

Darlene, Jesus never forgives the unrepentant, nor do Christians: nor does God love the world, nor do Christians: God hates the world with perfect hatred, and says so out of his own mouth. Noah and his family he loved, but the world he hated and destroyed all the world with the flood. God says, "Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated." Rm.9:13. And lit.Gk: "For God he so loved the harmony, so as the Son of him, the single-sired he gave, that all in who obey him be not abandoned, but have life eternal. Whom obeying to the Son has everlasting life, but whom disobeying the Son will not see life, but the wrath of God remains on that one." John 3:16,36.
---Eloy on 1/24/12

strongax, sinner, whenever you're ready I'm here.
---Eloy on 1/24/12


If you are given the discernment of the Holy Spirit, how can you possibly make claims that are obviously false on their face and easily provable so? For example, claiming that one can NEVER have forgiveness without repentance, even though Jesus forgave his executioners from the cross, even while they were gambling over his clothes (and obviously not repentant about his situation at all?)

I do not question your comments to "diss the gospel". I question your comments in order for both you and me to be able to find the truth, something which many of your claims (like the one above) lack.
---StrongAxe on 1/25/12

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Eloy, I can answer this one, you said:
" Do you think I am given the Holy Spirit and the discernment from God in vain"
I believe you were not given the Holy Spirit at your second rebirth that you said you had, because if you had been given the Spirit, you would know how to forgive, but since there is no forgiveness in your heart there could not be a Holy Spirit. Maybe the reason your answers are so messed up. But if you forgive, it will indicate the Spirit is working in your heart. Not only your wife you need to forgive, but all those who answer you kindly and need an answer not your condemnation. I don't believe you have missed many here on line that you have not condemned. The only holy one in your eyes is you.
---Mark_V. on 1/25/12

Eloy you must have misunderstood me. I am not sure why you changed my subject of forgiveness and addressed me as if I were talking about love but I was not. Although God loved a sinful world so much he gave his only son for it and gave it a way to everlasting life,John 3:16,what God does Jesus agrees with. For humans we don't have to love someone to forgive them for actions against us. All we have to do is love God enough to care about what he thinks of us. We don't forgive for the other persons sake we forgive others for our sake.
---Darlene_1 on 1/24/12

strongax, Do you think I am given the Holy Spirit and the discernment from God in vain? The adversaries asked of Jesus questions for the same purpose that you ask of me questions. You continue to ask of me only for one purpose, to diss the gospel that I answer, therefore you post falsehood in saying that you are ready to accept when in truth you lie and are not ready. "Then went the Pharisees, and took counsel how they might entangle him in talk. The person that is of God hears God's words: you all therefore hear not, because you all are not of God. We saints are of God: the person that knows God hears us, the person that is not of God hears not us. Hereby know we the Spirit of truth, and the spirit of error."
---Eloy on 1/24/12

Darlene_1, Jesus does not love everybody, nor did he make the firey hell for those he loves. Jesus clearly said before the sinners violated and seized him and slain him on the cross, "I pray not for the world, except for them which are mine." And Jesus says says to the unrepented sinners on Judgment Day, "Depart from me into the everlasting lake of fire, for I never knew you."
---Eloy on 1/24/12

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In everything in life the law of sowing and reaping holds true. The seeds you plant will be the crop you grow. You cannot grow corn from English pea seeds. If you plant forgiveness,you will reap forgiveness from God and man when you need it. Yes we are to forgive those who ask but the ability to forgive when a person doesn't ask shows a person determined to make his relationship with God the most important one of all. I don't forgive because a person asks I forgive because my Lord Jesus set that example for me to follow,forgive the undeserving. Its never about you and them but its about you and God and your relationship with him. Jesus said be you holy as I am holy. Thats the goal
---Darlene_1 on 1/24/12


As I said, I am always ready to hear truth. Unfortunately, in many cases (such as the one we are arguing about here), you post something that is patently NOT the truth.

For example, in this case, you said there is no forgiveness without repentance. You did not point out any scripture that says this (hence, no second witness), while I pointed out one that directly contradicts what you said - so what you said was obviously in error. You cannot blame me for rejecting things that you say that are just plain wrong.
---StrongAxe on 1/24/12

Eloy, you have been carrying your sin now for over 30 years, and you have the guts to call somone else a sinner, when you refuse to forgive. Your pride has taken over all your teachings. You are not even able to answer our questions. Instead you refuse by calling us sinners and to get saved. Maybe you need to be born again the third time, but this time by the Spirit. What happen on your second born again at the hospital, you lied to God. You said you would repent of all your sins but you never gave up the one that is still haunting you. You did not have a contrite heart. So that second one was no good. God has to break the heart and didn't break yours.
---Mark_V. on 1/24/12

strongax, sinner, whenever you're ready I'm here.
---Eloy on 1/23/12

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I am ALWAYS ready to receive the truth. So, according to your request, I am doing exactly what you ask.

Unfortunately, while some of what you say is truth, some of what you say is not. I use discernment to separate one from the other.

Besides, regardless of the above, anything said in a public forum is subject to scrutiny by anyone who reads that forum. One person does not have the right to post something, and then forbid others from commenting on it.

And even if one DID have such a right, violating such a request would be, at best, a breach of etiquette, not a sin. God has the power to decide what is a sin and what is not. You and I have no such power.
---StrongAxe on 1/23/12

strongax, I already told you not to address me until you are ready to receive the truth, else you acquire sin upon yourself. When you're ready, ask of me: until then, don't.
---Eloy on 1/23/12

Aka: Yes, you can forgive without being asked. Forgiving someone is about your heart attitude, not theirs. Christ told us to forgive before we pray. That was not conditional on what the offender does.

If the person who offended you asks for forgiveness, great. If not, at least you have done the right thing for your relationship with the Lord to be right.
---Trish on 1/21/12

can a person forgive before being asked?aka on 1/20/12
Jesus did on the cross, when He said Father forgive them for they know not what they do. They didnt see their need for forgiveness so could not repent, yet the heart of the Lord was to forgive them. Spiritually ALL TRUE forgiveness comes from the Lord. For us/those with the same Christ within and abiding, one cant help but forgive and love. To not, would be our carnality/ lack of submission to Him.
It has nothing to do with what another does or does not do, whether or not they are deserving. Christ within loves while one is still a sinner, that same Christ who died for us while WE were yet sinners.
So aka, I believe a person can forgive without being asked when it is of the Lord.
---chria9396 on 1/21/12

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You said: There is no forgiveness given without repentance to the one offended: for how can a person give forgiveness to anyone that is unknown?

Can you supply a biblical reference for that (i.e. chapter and verse), or is that merely your opinion?

I CAN provide an example to the contrary:

Luke 23:34
"Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots"

Jesus forgave his executioners while they were gambling over his few remaining possessions. This would be like muggers beating you to death, and then picking your pockets while you are bleeding out on the street - hardly the act of repentent men.
---StrongAxe on 1/21/12

another poster who posted and ran

why would anyone live a life in marriage exile for 7 very long years? by doing this you are making a mockery out of marriage, commitment, your vows and making a mockery out of yourself

as for taking your wife back I'm assuming the father of the child is not supporting the child which is why your wife now wants you back

since you are ONLY separated not divorced then reconcile - I guess is it you believe you are "getting back" your wife? what will be changing after 7 years apart?

oh and you desperately need to seek counseling
---Rhonda on 1/21/12

eloy, please tell me where that verse is or is it one of this + that + ...

in a verse similar, he was talking to workers of iniquity (and not unrepentant sinners)...those who took God's words out of context,used them, and wanted credit.

my question was not is one forgiven without asking, my question is can one forgive without being asked.

i believe, markv, you are correct.

forgiveness is not ours, it is of the Lord. we can use it for our own purposes or forgive as we are forgiven.

if you won't forgive, He will not forgive you. He will give you back what you give to others freely.
---aka on 1/21/12

aka, There is no forgiveness given without repentance to the one offended: for how can a person give forgiveness to anyone that is unknown? That is why Jesus says to the unrepented sinners on Judgment Day, "Depart from me into the everlasting lake of fire, for I never knew you."
---Eloy on 1/21/12

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Aka, you do not have to be ask to forgive. Forgivness comes from your heart. I forgave my wife without her asking me. I did not need to have her ask me. In fact I told my wife she never had to ask me for forgiveness, that as far as I was concern her life belonged to God and if she was right with Him, she was right with me. I believe when someone waits to be ask, they want the person to suffer for what they did. Sort of putting some shame on them. But it is not up to us, it is up to God. If they want to ask then you can answer. The same holds true for those who wronged us who are dead. We should forgive them in our hearts. If we don't, we only hurt ourselves and our lives are never right.
---Mark_V. on 1/21/12

let me rephrase...

can a person forgive before being asked?
---aka on 1/20/12

aka, yes, when a penitent person is seeking forgiveness for a wrong that they have done, the one giving the pardon usually tells the person that they are forgiven.
---Eloy on 1/20/12

does forgiveness need to be spoken?
---aka on 1/19/12

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Jim, Read the Holy Scriptures that I have already detailed on this subject below in John chapter 4, proving that I am in truth, and also proving that you are in falsehood.
---Eloy on 1/19/12 are in error.
If you keep reading you will see that the woman has faith.
"The woman said, I know that Messiah (called Christ) is coming". She had faith that Christ was coming and now believed in Him when He confirmed it to her.
---JIM on 1/19/12


The Bible cannot not describe everything (see John 21:25). If the Bible says something happened, it happened. But if it does NOT say it happened, you cannot automatically assume it didn't, because that could be one of the things left out for brevity.

She had not yet drunk of living waters when she asked Jesus to explain them. Yet, what prompted her to run all over town praising Jesus to everyone she met? Could it have been, perhaps, Satan? I don't think so.

To the contrary, she ASKED Jesus for living water. If he did not give it to her, wouldn't he be violating Matthew 7:7-11 or Luke 11:9-13? She left her water pot behind, something one NEEDS to live, so obviously she did not need it anymore.
---StrongAxe on 1/19/12

Karen, You post falsehood. I already posted the scriptures where she clearly did not drink of the living water, but only heard what Jesus said to her, and she replied, "I perceive that you are a prophet." Jn.4:19. She did not drink of him and say, "You are the Christ", nor did she go back to the city and say such, but only proclaimed to the men of the city in verse 29, "Could this be the Christ?"
---Eloy on 1/19/12

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Eloy said, "KarenD, Jesus never forgave the woman at the well,"

This is the most untruthful statement I have ever seen on these blogs. The woman at the well drank from the living water and went back to her city and told people about Jesus.
---KarenD on 1/18/12

as usual, eloy don't know the truth. Many are saved without falling out. The woman at the well drank of the living water...why else would Jesus tell her who He was. I was glorious saved and I haven't fallen out yet. I was actually walking on a cloud or so it seemed to me.
---shira4368 on 1/18/12

shira4368, No she did not drink of Salvation, else she would not have said to Jesus, "Give me this water, that I thirst not, neither come to here to draw." You see, if she really knew that Jesus himself was the holy water, then she would have fallen down upon her face before him in repentance, and asked him to save her, but she did not do this: instead, she thought Jesus spoke of a water that quenched ones physical thirst. Then she still unaccepting of Christ, said to him in Jn.4:25 that the Messiah would come one day. And afterward she went back into the city and continued to express her doubt to the men in the city by saying, "Come see a man which told me all things that I ever did: could this be the Christ?" Jn.4:29.
---Eloy on 1/17/12

Only they whom repent from their sins and accept Christ are saved: the nonrepentant sinner never has forgiveness, no not in this lifetime nor in that to come.
---Eloy on 1/17/12

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eloy, didn't the woman at the well drink living water from Jesus Christ?
---shira4368 on 1/17/12

Eloy, who do you think Jesus saves? Good people? righteous people? That is what you think. He saves sinners. He changes their evil hearts. Why can you not understand that? Even Mary was a sinner. She said about Jesus, "My Lord and my Savior" Who needs the Savior? Those who are sinners. You claim to be perfect, knowing the past, present and future, and sinless with the mind of God. Implying you have no need for Christ. There is no truth in you Eloy, and it's because you are not able to forgive. How can you expect to be forgiven? You are only hurting yourself, not your wife. She is happy and doing what she wants, and you are out here so messed up in great need of Christ.
---Mark_V. on 1/17/12

KarenD, Jesus never forgave the woman at the well, and if she continued with her sexual immorality she would continue to be condemned. When the people were going to stone the adulteress wife, Jesus after saving her from her rightful judgment, he said to the adultress woman, "Go, AND SIN NO MORE, else something worse come upon you." He did not say, I forgive you, neither did he say , Go AND SIN SOME MORE so that I will forgive you. Instead he Commands, Go AND SIN NO MORE, else judgment worse than death come upon you. For what you sew you will surely reap, and what you give is what you get. Jesus does not bless evil, nor honor evil people, he never has nor ever will. And he did not create the everlasting hell fire and brimstone in vain.
---Eloy on 1/17/12

Eloy, who is the condemned one? We are all condemned, even you. Now I know you don't believe that but my King James bible says we have all sinned and come short of the glory of God. God forgave you so why can't you forgive? Oh no, there goes that pedistal again...please come down to the real world. Get you a real bible and read the words of Jesus Christ. You are to forgive over and over and over...God said that. I wouldn't want to die and face God unless I was forgiving.
---shira4368 on 1/17/12

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Yes, adultery is sin, but God loved us while we were still sinners. God can forgive adultery, as well as any other sin.

I understand you may have more difficulty forgiving this particular sin, because you were personally burned by it, but that doesn't mean God does.

It seems curious that those who either indulge in a particular sin before a dramatic conversion, or those who are burned by a particular sin by others, tend to be overly zealous about that particular sin above all others. Augustine was a promiscuous libertine before his conversion, so it's not surprising that he became an over-zealous puritan afterwards, viewing that particular kind of sin as worse than all others.
---StrongAxe on 1/16/12

Eloy...Thank the Lord, HE shows more mercy than you. The woman at the well is a good example of God's forgiveness and mercy.
---KarenD on 1/16/12

hopeful on, God's word is clear, adultery is sin. God's Word tells us, "If your hand or foot offend you, cut them off and cast from you: it is better for you to enter into the Kingdom of God being lame or maimed, rather than having your whole body cast into hell, into the fire that never will be quenched. Marriage honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but fornicators and adulterers God will judge."
---Eloy on 1/16/12


Yet that is not what God told Hosea to do. His wife was unfaithful and prostituted herself - yet God told Hosea to take her back despite this.

This was an archetype of God's forgiving his people even after they were unfaithful and went after other gods.
---StrongAxe on 1/16/12

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hopeful, I would not, for the bed she chose to lie in was not yours, and besides producing an illegitimate offspring she may also have gotten all manner of deadly diseases. Pay her no more interest.
---Eloy on 1/13/12

No one is saved by repentance. We are saved by grace through faith. And anyone who is born of the Spirit will receive faith to believe in the works of Christ, and believe they are forgiven. God can save whom He wants to have mercy on. No matter what a person has done, if God wants to forgive someone, He will save them by grace. For man it's sin not to forgive. It is worse when a believer knows it and does not forgive. Being ignorant is one thing, but knowing and still not forgiving is worse. Jesus forgave whom He wanted and not forgive whom He didn't want to. No one makes that decision but Christ. No one has the mind of Christ. No one knows the past, present and future. If He wants to save someone so that another can be save, He will do it.
---Mark_V. on 1/14/12

\\The only forgiveness that nonrepentant sinners get, God's wrath and curses, broken wedlock and broken homes,\\

Youm should know about God's forgiveness to the unrepentant through broken homes and marriages, Eloy.

I'd be curious to hear yourm ex-wife's side of the story.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 1/13/12

God cannot be played, and is not mocked. Unrepentants never have forgivenenss, not in this lifetime, nor in that to come. The only forgiveness that nonrepentant sinners get, God's wrath and curses, broken wedlock and broken homes, offspring and sexually tranbsmitted diseases from the strangers, misery and premature death, and finally everlasting damnation in the lake of fire.
---Eloy on 1/12/12

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Jesus has taken us after what we have done. "But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses." (in Mark 11:26) When we sin, we are cheating on our Groom Jesus. Does He take us back?

But that person is responsible for their child. But I'm not sure I would want the child brought up by him. And what about him visiting the child, if she is with you? This could get "interesting". But Jesus first expects us to love and forgive.

If she is just trying to get you to pay expenses for their child . . . I don't think that is what you are expected to do. And I would not want her to come "back" to how things were before. So . . . we need to pray to find out (c:
---Bill_willa6989 on 1/12/12

It seems to me that your wife has only been your wife in your head and not in any practical sense. If she has lived with someone else and had his child for the last seven years, in my book she has been married to the other man and not to you. Even though you stayed married on paper, I would consider you divorced.

I would not consider reconciliation with this woman unless she can prove to you she has dealt with the problems that lead to the split. Not just saying she had dealt with them but actually showing you how.

Also, she needs to deal with the issues related to the person with whom she has the child. Their separation is also like a divorce. They have a child together which must be provided for.
---Mark_Eaton on 1/12/12

Anon and KarenD, I agree with both of you. There is no one person in the world who has not fail. Not one. Jesus forgave and so should we. No one knows but God whether the person who left will ever leave again or whether God has forgiven them already.
"If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the Truth is not in us" (1 John 1:8). All sin and come short of the glory of God. If we cannot forgive how can we expect to be forgiven? You want to show your evidence of salvation? Then forgive.
---Mark_V. on 1/12/12

I didn't aft mine was unfaithful to me. To many told me, if she's done it once, she'l do it again. So I left it alone.
---Lawrence on 1/12/12

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Didn't Jesus say something about forgiving 7 times 70 and that our Father in Heaven won't forgive us if we don't forgive. Only a very prideful man won't forgive this woman.
---KarenD on 1/12/12

Afraid I agree with the brothers on this one.The most you can be expected to do is pray for her as you would any other unsaved person.
---shirley on 1/12/12

Not unless I was an acute head-conk casualty, or I suffered from a servere case of alzheimer's disease or amnesia, otherwise I would have zero contact with the condemned one.
---Eloy on 1/11/12

Hopeful, I think that's an issue no one could know how to deal with unless faced personally with that situation.
---John.usa on 1/12/12

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If God hates divorce, as the Bible says, He loves reconciliation.

However, both of you should undergo counseling to work on the issues that led to your divorce to start with.

And you've not said if your wife wants to come back. Does she? Please clarify.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 1/12/12

Nope. Especially if she left me for the one she currently has a child with.

I'm a firm believer in "once a cheater, always a cheater".
---JackB on 1/12/12

Are you currently seeking counselling and if so HAVE you totally forgiven her and is she willing to walk with the Lord? blessings and shalom Pam
---pam on 1/12/12

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