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Anxiety About Gift Giving

When I do a kindness or give a gift I feel anxiety, about whether it will be approved of by the receiver and by God. Does the anxiety show a lack of trust or is it humbleness? I call my self a "kind chicken."

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 ---Geraldine on 6/7/12
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Trish, I am so sorry to hear that about your mom. Someone you love so much could be so inappreciative of your gifts. If I were you, I would stop buying your mom anything for mother's day or her birthday if all you are going to get in return is a slap in the face. I'm sure there are other people in your life you could spend that money on that would just be blown away that you even thought of them.
---Jed on 6/12/12

I'm so sorry about your mom Trish, I can't imagine how frustrating that would be! By the way, how are you feeling these days? God bless, Mary
---Mary on 6/12/12

I usually know what to get people for gifts, except my Mom. She always finds fault with just about everything. I gave her a mug with my grandchildren's picture on it, and she complained it was too small. She gave it to my sister, even thought it said 'Happy Birthday Great-Grandma.' I bought her a Temple University Mom T-shirt, when I was in grad school. She never wore it, and gave it back to me in a pile of clothes. When I asked why she didn't wear it, she said it was too big. I asked why she didn't tell me that so I could exchange it for a smaller size, and she didn't answer me. I could go on and on. So, for Mother's Day, I order flowers for her. For her birthday, I buy her jewelry. I know I will never get it right with her.
---Trish on 6/9/12

anytime we don't know what to buy for someone, a gift card is always appealing since we can use it to buy what we need or want.
---shira4368 on 6/9/12

I bought anadama bread and blueberry honey for the couple who brings me to church things. But did they like that stuff? I was not sure. I prayed about giving them the gifts. Then I felt them out, by asking if they like those things. They said that's not what they eat. So, I said, something like "Oh-oh, that's what I got for you." Then she got all excited and they received them. So, we don't always know (c:

Pray for God to guide you (c: And I suppose you can ask them, too (c: I think it is good to submit to God for Him to evaluate us and what we do and give > "Test all things, hold fast what is good." (1 Thessalonians 5:21)
---willie_c: on 6/9/12

Geraldine, A-men. It is a blessed thing to give. The very heart of God is to give, some may thank you and some not, but their thanking or not does not matter, for the giving is the blessing. See how great a giver our Father is. He that spared not his only Son, how much more will he freely give to us all things? Some fall down at his feet in worshipping him, and others not, but still he continues on to give and to give, for he is good. Yes, it is a blessed thing to give.
---Eloy on 6/8/12

Eloy, reading your words made me feel like a dove had just landed on my shoulder! Today I am going to de-stress every thing I can, and picture God smiling and maybe a tear. Thank you!
---Geraldine on 6/8/12

A little excitement on wondering if the reeiver will like your gift or not is normal, for usually when we give something to someone we want whatever we are giving to please the person. If the receiver does not like the gift for whatever reason they could always give it to another person which would make another person happy. The gift is only a part of the grace, I feel the bigger part of the grace is the act of giving to another to please them, no matter what the gift may be. The whole act of being moved to think of doing a kindness for someone, and then using your time to actually seek out something to give to someone is very special and priceless act of goodness which causes our God in heaven to smile, and sometimes tear.
---Eloy on 6/8/12

All of the replies are giving such positive and helpful points for me to ponder. I am already feeling less like a chicken! Thank you so much.
---Geraldine on 6/7/12

you are just learning how to give with out worrying about what people say about you. you will eventually get to that point
---Barbara on 6/7/12

It doesn't sound like humility, it sounds more like pride. When you give a gift, you should not be thinking about people's approval. In fact, it would be best if you could give it without the receiver even knowing, then God will reward you. But if you seek approval from the receiver, then you have your only reward.
---Jed on 6/7/12

True humility would not cause anxiety. Plus, true kindness or generosity would not cause it either.

Scripture said we will have perfect peace if our mind is set on the Lord. Philippians 4 says what we are to focus our thoughts on. Scripture also says that perfect love casts out fear.

Study the Word, and look up these verses on Biblegateway dot com.

Examine yourself and see if your motivation to give or do these things is out of wanting to please people, or to please the Lord. Psalm 139, the last two verses, is a prayer for the Lord to search our hearts. Pray that.
---Trish on 6/7/12

Why are you looking for approval? God loves you because who you are not what you do. You cannot earn his approval you have it because you are His son/daughter. As far as the receiver ask then give generously.
It could also be satan trying to discourage you from doing it because the flesh are still self-centered which says mine, mine, all mine. Don't call yourself a chicken.
---Scott1 on 6/7/12

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