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I Have Had Two Abortions

I had not one but two abortions. I was a drug addict and with a very abusive man for both abortions. I have always tried to justify them because of the situation but they were murder and I am so very sorry and always will be. I have repented and have been clean 5 years, yet the guilt is still there:(

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 ---Nancy on 8/14/12
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Ok! I have some advice for you. First a question for you. Has God came to you and chose you to spend eternal life with Him? If so, He has forgiven you. Now, some advice: Stop rationalizing. It's over with I am assuming God forgave you through His mighty, powerful, Blood. Satan is the person that's making you feel guilty, and rationalizing, making up excuses, only helps the devil. Get on with your life, and sin no more..
---pat on 1/12/13

Praise the Lord Nancy,
God knows your heart, By Him, With/In Him, all things are possible.
Death and resurrection (complete action) wages of sin - Paid.
Seek His counsel sister- repentance unto remission, Praise Him for that forgiveness
Y'sha: defined = YHVH Savior

Ps 103 (all)
3 Who forgiveth all thine iniquities, who healeth all thy diseases,
4 Who redeemeth thy life from destruction, who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies,
5 Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things, so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's.[...]
8 The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy[...]
11 For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him.
---char on 1/11/13

Phil 2: But you do write great encouraging words for those who reject Christ. I'm not trying to be mean. But if we let it go, people might begin to believe they don't need Christ, after all they will be saved in the end anyway. Why witness? Why have missionaries, Why preach to not kill, Murder, steal, lie, cheat, why stop child abusers, why stop false teachers since they will all be saved in the end?
While they are pretty words, they only bring more false teachings. Sorry, but had to answer that one.
---Mark_V. on 1/8/13

Phil, yes, beautiful words of encouragement to those who are heading to hell. The wicked might as well continue to kill and rape others, after all they will be saved in the end.
There is no Universal salvation. You said:
"Mankind, all of it, is no longer God's enemies. If you believe this passage in your heart, that God is reconciled to His creation because of Jesus' sacrifice for sins, half the battle is over."
You fogot to read,
"he who believes in Him is not condemned, but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God." (John 3:18).
You compromise the Truth by misinterpreting passages. There is no Universal salvation.
---Mark_V. on 1/8/13

So beautifully put, Phil, you have a gift for words, also I would say the gift of encouragement? God bless. :)
---Mary on 1/7/13

2C 5:19 To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them.

This is the Gospel of God.

Mankind, all of it, is no longer God's enemies. If you believe this passage in your heart, that God is reconciled to His creation because of Jesus' sacrifice for sins, half the battle is over.

There is no longer condemnation for sins. It is not believing on the Son's testimony that condemns men, their not coming to the light for their deeds are evil.

You did not destroy those children beyond His reach. The innocent will not suffer condemnation, or God is not just. Your mistakes are covered by the Blood of Christ.

Press onward, forgetting that which is behind.
---Phil on 1/6/13

He has those babies and is raising them much better that you ever could have, remember that.

really? what voodoo junk is that taken from because there are no books, chapters, or verses from holy scripture that support or randomly suggest God is "raising" dead babies.

How dare you make an evil suggestion like that, very sick mind! Not only is it cruel it is not found in holy scripture.

God does forgive, it takes faith, and that faith must be exercised everyday, so you would not fall back into temptation of drugs, ***seek*** a counselor for the grieving process (you are possibly in repressed mourning) and don't read negative hateful responses from those who covertly condemn you.
---Follower_of_Christ on 1/5/13

If God has forgiven you then you need to forgive yourself. He has those babies and is raising them much better that you ever could have, remember that. He loves you and has forgiven you for what you did.
---Sandy on 1/5/13

Yes, I find "Mother's Day" the most guilty day of the year as one can see the guilt on many of the mother's faces who are being honored on Mother's Day. One church, the eldest woman reluctantly stood to be honored, then said she did not deserved to be honored because she had had abortions. The Pastor and congregation then said, "You are our mother."
---aaron on 1/4/13

Romans 6:21 "What fruit had ye then in those things whereof ye are now ashamed? for the end of those things is death."
Is it satan which makes ashamed? I do not think so.
---Nana on 1/4/13

Jed, I again agree with your statement that genuine Christians do not have abortions or even vote for abortion. How is it possible for a child of God to abort their own child? Or vote for woman to have abortions?
We make judgments like you and I did, only because the question arises. If this happened before a person was saved by God, then they are forgiven now that they are saved. And should not feel guilty. It is imperative to believe by faith we are forgiven. Because we believe in forgiveness by true faith in God.
If there is no faith, then a person continues in unbelief. When we sin as believers, we are chasten by God.
---Mark_V. on 1/4/13

God convicts: only Satan makes you feel guilty. Keep your focus on God, and tell Satan to, "get off your back".

James 4:7-8 (NASB77)
Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.
---wivv on 1/2/13

Unbelievers are the worse judges in this world. People, you ought to point your fingers at yourselves. If you could see yourself the way God sees you you would throw up all over your unholy shoes.
---pat on 10/26/12

I shop-lifted three times as a young Christian, not proud of it, for sure, but I've been forgiven, as is any woman who's had an abortion and repented before the Lord.
---Mary on 10/26/12

I, too, had an abortion in my 20's (while a Christian)
---Sandi on 10/24/12

Christians don't have abortions. If you have repented and confessed your sin and know it was wrong then you may be a Christian now. But christians don't have abortions.
---Jed on 10/26/12

Precious, precious friend. I, too, had an abortion in my 20's (while a Christian) & for two decades spiraled down into the pit of severe alcoholism. I still held on to my faith & believed in God's grace & forgiveness for everyone else, but not me. But somehow God's mercy touched my spirit & I began to believe I am one of the "whosoevers" & His promise was for me personally. My whole world changed & I was set free from the unbearable guilt, shame & grief. Dear sister, this is true for you too. Please let Him give you what He died to give. You ARE free, forgiven completely & eternally. Be not afraid. Only believe. You are forever loved & forever His.
---Sandi on 10/24/12

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None of us are perfect! If you only knew. Paul was a murderer, TOO....Are you sure you've been forgiven? If you have been forgiven, then it is satan that's making you feel unforgiven. Just stay in prayer, and close to God. You be okay.
---pat on 10/24/12

Our apostle was a murderer of the ecclesia of God. He considered himself chiefest of sinners, and rightly so.

But he understood by revealtion that all who retained his gospel would become new creations in Christ.

We are His achievement, not ourselves. Let Him do His gentle work in you by trusting in His Sacrifice.

Do not let the past prevent you from putting on the new humanity formed in His image. Only faith, love and expectation can open the door to this freedom and liberty.

The innocent ones God will save. You have not ended their fates. God will become All in all, and His Son will reconcile all things.

Grace superabounds where sin abounded, so embrace His mercy and resist condemnation.
---Phil on 10/24/12

nancy, God forgives. look at Paul. he killed christians and he was a persercuter of the church and christians. we all pay for what we do in this life and probably yours is guilt but you are forgiven. I have made many mistakes in my life. I praise God for you being clean and sharing your burden with us on the blogs. you will be in my prayers.
---shira4368 on 10/24/12

---Jan_Stefansson on 10/23/12


Welcome to CN.
---Haz27 on 10/23/12

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---Jan_Stefansson on 10/23/12

The bible states that all have sinned and fallen short. God forgave you ages ago and it is time for you to forgive yourself. Only the perfect can judge you - read romans 8v1 and forgive yourself.

Enjoy your life instead of letting the past rob you of it
---The_Believer on 9/16/12

---aka on 9/1/12

My wife and I struggled with our marriage in the early years. During our counseling we both went through Beauty from Ashes at our church. It dealt with women who had abortions. My wife had one before I met her. We had to name the child that had been aborted. Since she knew it was a boy we named him Derek. Then our church had a funeral along with other women who had abortions and their families attending. You have to mourn and grief the loss of these children in order for you to be healed. It was a very big moment in our marriage. I don't know where you live but I recommend you find a Beauty from Ashes program. I know crisis pregnancy centers have something like this. May the Lord bless you and keep you as you find your way on the road to peace.
---Rudy on 9/1/12

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James: You are entitled to see things with God your way. I see things in terms of being relational.

Before coming to Christ, I had a far off, way out in the distance, beyond my reach concept of God. Now, I seek to deepen the intimacy of my relationship with Him. I communicate to Him through prayer. He communicates to me through His Word and the Holy Spirit.

My concept of God now is that of my Heavenly Father. If He is my Father, that makes me His child.

I base all of this on Jesus' words in the Gospels, and the Epistles.
---Trish on 8/29/12

\\relationship with God the Father\\
---Trish on 8/28/12

Relationship is merely a subjective buzzword.

What might look like a relationship to some, looks enigmatic to others.

We are called to believe God's promise concerning His Son, that those who believe in Him will not perish.

I've said before, I had a great relationship with my dad while he lived with me. We would pass each other in the hallway periodically, and engage each other about once a week for a few minutes. It suited us both.

We are not called to have a relationship with God, which involves setting terms that suit each other.

We are called to trust Him, to follow Him, to find our being in Him. He sets the terms.
---James_L on 8/28/12

thank you for your honest query.

This issue is very close to my heart. I was raised thinking this "prayer" would[potentially] save me, and then I could work my own way to heaven.

I was never taught why Christ died.

When I first heard the gospel at age 28, I rejected it. Saved by Christ?

Finally, I became convinced that Jesus had paid it all.

But then the "response" was a stumbling block for me too.

Faith (the biblical way) and prayer (ritual) are mutually exclusive. Someone can believe without praying. As in my case, someone can say a prayer without knowing anything about Christ.

Many trust in that "prayer" rather than Christ Himself
---James_L on 8/28/12

Hi, thank you Trish and James, God bless you both, Mary :)
---Mary on 8/28/12

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first, we don't accept Jesus. HE accepts us.

We receive Him, as the ground receives rain.

Look at the parable of the sower (Luke 8)

The seed, the gospel, is the word of God. It is sown into the ground, people.

When did the ground ever reach up and grab a seed?

The Holy Spirit cultivates the ground (people) and buries the seed in our hearts. This is done by convicting us of sin, and convincing us that what God has promised concerning Christ, He will do.

The bible says we receive Christ through believing in Jesus, which means to have confidence in Him that His death, and blood, are our only hope of eternal life

this is all by the Holy Spirit, not voodoo
---James_L on 8/28/12

Mary, I believe that we are supposed to have faith that the Christ's death on the cross was for our sins, making it the only way to have a relationship with God the Father. But, I also believe that we are to confess that we are sinners to Him, and ask Him to forgive us, and thank Him for Jesus' death as the only way to that relationship. It's both faith, and confession.

I sure hope that made sense.
---Trish on 8/28/12

I don't understand what some people have against the "sinner's prayer", it's basically just acceptance of Jesus and asking God's forgiveness--that's what we're SUPPOSED to do, how else would the anti sinner's prayer people do it? Seriously, I'd like to know--thanks
---Mary on 8/28/12

\\you asked God to forgive you and to come into your heart.\\
---Patricia on 8/27/12

That's about as effective as trying to conjur up Christ through a seance.

God doesn't come into our hearts through some sort of voodoo ritual like a "sinner's prayer".

Without faith in Jesus Christ, the Lamb of God who takes away takes away the sins of the world, you are still in your sins

"He who believes in Him is not judged, he who does not believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God." (John 3:18)
---James_L on 8/27/12

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Regarding the writer "I had two abortions":
By the word "repented" I understand you asked God to forgive you and to come into your heart. If you have you were forgiven, please read (1 John 1:9). Continue to keep your trust in Christ and the Cross and what Jesus did for you by staying in fellowship with Him through His Word and of giving Him thanks and He will minister to you by His Holy Spirit. The day is soon to come when we will be with Him and all our emotions of guilt and sorrow will be gone. Imagine what Paul had to overcome when he was saved knowing he killed and imprisoned Christians. God forgave him and he was also given the revelation of the New Covenant (Galatians 1:12).
---Patricia on 8/27/12

God doesn't care for excuses,....however, He knows that the human race is foolish, careless, fallible, and has wreckless tendencies (but He loves His offspring anyway).

Forget all you've been taught about rituals, protocol, and intellectual scholastic/study you LOVE HIM?.

Do you love Him enough to believe that His second coming already happened when He came into your heart? (maybe you've let the bible and man's ways into your heart instead of GOD ONLY.....just like most believers)....Has your heart been ENRAPTURED???.

As far as the guilt you FEEL...

2 Corinthians 7:10
"and brings NO REGRET".
---more_excellent_way on 8/27/12

Before our Lord told the woman caught in adultery to go and sin no more, he told her something more powerful than that. He told her He did not condemn her.

Too many believers are going around condemning others, and act as if John 8 does not apply to them.
---Trish on 8/19/12

nancy the Lord told the adulterous to go and sin no more. This was after he asked all of her accusers if any of them were without sin. When they all left one by one (because they all knew they had sin) the Lord told her to go and sin no more. To repent is to turn away from. If you have asked in prayer for forgiveness than you now have the biggest task ahead of you. To pray every day for strength to stay clean for the rest of your life and not be in situations for unwanted pregnancies. Now pray for the guilt to be removed. This life is about overcoming not staying stuck in your mistakes. All sin is the same no one sin is greater than the other and all of sinned.
---Follower_of_Christ on 8/19/12

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I had not one but two abortions. .......I am so very sorry and always will be. I have repented and have been clean 5 years, yet the guilt is still there:( -----Blog

You have this knowledge and lived wisdom of a fequently more common error that women make. In more than one area. Share in love of you did here. Share with all the passion/witness you can muster. Save some women from the same. Save multitudes of Children. This is "Love". Love em enough to discourage them.

Luke 7:47
Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little.
---Trav on 8/19/12

\\two abortions...I have repented...the guilt is still there\\

repent how? Don't assume that you are forgiven. For instance:

\\Since you have repented then you are forgiven by God\\

\\ask Jesus to forgive will be forgiven by Him\\

They have good intentions. BUT, God does not offer generic forgiveness based on a generic "repentance"

And you can ask til you're blue in the face, but that is worthless without faith in Christ's death.

If you have confidence in, and rely upon, Jesus to have been punished in your place to cover the guilt of your sins, then your debt is settled.

Any other approach leaves you still in your sins. Do not garner a false hope
---James_L on 8/18/12

Assuming you have confessed this and are now a Christian, God forgave you. But we all struggle with forgiving ourselves of our pasts.
This occurrence in your life should be the basis of a wonderful ministry to young women. You should be able to speak knowingly and convincingly on the subject! Not from theory, or the Bible says, but from painful reality.
Satan, the great whisperer, is always active looking for ways to remind us of our past. Looking for ways to tells us we are unworthy because of the sins we are forgiven of! They are lies and when they crop up - turn them over to God and refuse to condemn yourself, because Jesus covered them with His blood and they are gone.
---Chip on 8/18/12

Youre not alone in what youve done or in attempting to justify. All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. But praise God Hes made a way (The Son of God, Jesus Christ)for us to be forgiven, set free from not only our sin, but also the guilt. Ive struggled with guilt also, and found that He sets us free from false guilt/accusations from the enemy. Simply turn to Him, confess, tell Him all. As He becomes your focus, not what youve done, which is past, He will lift you up from the guilt and shame. God bless you
---Chria9396 on 8/15/12

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Forgive yourself, too. Believe that GOD has truly forgiven you after you have confessed and repented, knowing that it was sin against GOD and the baby. GOD forgives you, now, you forgive yourself. And, when you've run the Race, and enter Heaven. GOD will reunite you with your babies. :-)
---Gordon on 8/15/12

Nancy, Jesus forgives and heals. It may help you to become active in helping prevent future abortions by volunteering at a local crisis pregnancy center and sharing your experiences and guilt with other mothers or couples who may be considering an abortion. And of course, become politically active, or at least vote, to prevent politicians who want to advance the abortion movement from gaining power.
---Jed on 8/15/12

If you are truly repentant, God forgives you.

There are support groups for aborted women. Ask your nearest pro-life center or clinic for help. You are NOT alone in this struggle.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 8/15/12

Nancy...People have a hard time forgiving themselves no matter what their previous since before salvation. God forgave us all of our sins. His son took all sins to the cross and paid for them as our sacrifice. Those babies are in the arms of God in Heaven so they are taken care of. Now it is time for you to forgive yourself.
---KarenD on 8/14/12

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God has forgiven you. Guilt is a trick of the enemy to keep us down. He has played that on me a few times, and still far as to cause me not to love myself. So what is the formula for victory? Praying. And trusting the Lord. He has taken those sins that were prayed for and has put them behind Him. "I...will not remember thy sins" (Isaiah 43:25) "As far as the east is from the west..." (Psalm 103:12) There is a song for that. "'For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.'" (John 3:16) I can tell you mean business and that you have done business with God. You really need to forgive yourself for what you did.
---tweety_bird on 8/14/12

i gonna quote my friend Paul,
Live Forward!!!!
---kevin5443 on 8/14/12

If you have trusted God for forgiveness, your guilt is way out-of-date.

"'Behold, I will do a new thing,
. Now it shall spring forth,
. Shall you not know it?
. I will even make a road in the wilderness
. And rivers in the desert.'" (Isaiah 43:19)

So, God is interested in you receiving your forgiveness and then going on to become someone you have never been before, who is not guilty of what you did because you are now a Jesus lady who would not do that. And you can help others, have compassion on them, minister them to victory now that you have gotten blessed. So . . . God bless you (c: "casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7) If you care, God knows this.
---willie_c: on 8/14/12

I want you to know that in order to start forgiving yourself, you first need to ask Jesus to forgive you, not only for the abortions, but for all of your sins. Ask Him to be your Lord and Savior, and turn your life over to Him. He loves you no matter what you did in the past.

Once you have done this, you will be forgiven by Him, and given a new life in Him. His Holy Spirit will take up residence in you, and encourage and comfort you.

Get into a Women's Bible Study, and start fellowshipping with Godly women.
---Trish on 8/14/12

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Since you have repented then you are forgiven by God now you must forgive yourself and look ahead. If you have become wiser with being clean and coming to God perhaps you could find a way to share your story and counsel other women who are thinking about abortion. You have the power to take something which was very wrong and bad for you,which has caused ongoing guilt and turn it around for good by helping those other women who are confused like you were. God bless and give you wisdom and strength. You might even think about writing your life story in a book so others may be enlightened. Pray for God to guide your steps and use you for His Glory and your blessing.
---Darlene_1 on 8/14/12

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