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My Son Is A Loser

My 23 year old son is a loser. How do I let go?

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 ---donna77 on 11/17/12
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Good words Carla
---Bryan on 10/29/13

I guess if that's what you have been calling him it is every bit no wonder why your name calling has become a "fulfilling prophecy".

I didn't care how the world saw my boys, derogative, gangst'a low life, they were my boys and God loves them and no scheme of man or no devil was going to make me put them down.

So I taught them how god loved them and trained them up in the way of the Lord.

Both work, have their own vehicles and are now looking to move into their own homes.

Big difference to calling them losers!!!
---Carla on 10/29/13

Pro 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Isa 49:25 But thus saith the LORD, Even the captives of the mighty shall be taken away, and the prey of the terrible shall be delivered: for I will contend with him that contendeth with thee, and I will save thy children.

---jerry6593 on 10/28/13

You know when I look bk,my family NOBODY really,took time with could say, I was a weird girl.It' a long story,but my late grandma NEVER gave up! I was a loser, bipolar,did alot of crazy things but then, God did begin to let me see YES! You are still going to be used for HIS glory!

He did clean me up,God can take what the world gives up on..Use him or her for HIS glory! Nobody wanted me around
it was through,the piano the Lord

began to let HIS glory shine in my life! alot of people started to ask but how did you learn? Jesus taught me,

I am ask the Lord help me,to be inspiration to others...
---Lidia4796 on 10/28/13

I wonder if this loser son has loops in his ear lobes? That was the litmus test for losers in a thread not too long ago
---James_L on 10/27/13

A friend's son is a loser. He was brought up in a Christian family, excelled at university and rose to the top of a company where he earns c$400,000 per annum. He drives a Porsche Carerra, while his wife drives a Mercedes 500. They have a McMansion overlooking Sydney harbour, above where their yacht is moored. But he is a loser as he has totally walked away from his Christian faith, and now worships $ucce$$. He is too busy to spend time with his family.

Surely we should pray for, and guide our children to the only real success, that being right standing with God through Jesus our Lord, and maybe allow them to be successful or unsuccessful in the eyes of the world. It takes some people years to grow up and get their lives in order.
---Warwick on 10/27/13

No longer talk of doubt.. Mark9:23
No longer talk of fear..2Tim1:7
No longer talk of defeat ..2Cor.2:14
No longer talk of weakness 2Sam.22:33
No longer talk of failure 1Jn5:4
Just a few things wanted to share
all glory and honor to our Lord Jesus Christ.
Love of Jesus! Lidia4796
---Lidia4796 on 10/27/13

wow, this is were we as believers in Christ Jesus have to learn how to stand. Find in the word, what it promises about your sons and daughters, for Victory in their life, this is were you as a parent stand on the word. Next question is how much doubt and unbelief have you sown in their life? repent, God has done his part it is our turn to learn how to stand on the part he has done for us. Promises there is over 7000 of them in the bible. Put your faith in them not what you see with your eyes. Cause what you see is subject to the word of God.
---Bryan on 10/19/13

Unfortunately, I know what you mean. My son is 21 and has a dead end job that he just got after a year of nothing. He reads the bible daily and speaks of scripture but doesn't live his life with purpose. He has always been a hellion and a admitted under achiever. I have done all I can do to encourage him and have tried everything from counseling to tough love. My husband is done and feels we should turn our backs to make him man up. I am afraid he will end up homeless cause he has no one else. I let him stay with me when my husband is out of town but on top of all this my son is really ungrateful. He also has to be told to cleAn up. I am at the end of my rope.
---wow on 10/18/13

It must run in the family. He was lead by example. It's God's plan that you all be losers. It came to fruition.
---Lance on 2/13/13

Absalom was a loser, David did not let go.

The Prodigal Son was a loser, his dad was joyous to welcome him back.

We are all losers, yet God sent his own son to pay our penalty for being losers.
---born on 2/8/13

It seems to me he has already gone! Not much you can do about it!
---pat on 2/7/13

Donna: We're all losers but for God's grace & mercy. As wretched as we are, God still loves us. Likewise, you love your son or else you wouldn't have written this blog.

You let go by letting God do in your son's life what you can't. Lift your man child up in prayer daily before the Lord & trust Him for a miraculous change in your son's life.

You have friends here & I hope in your community who will pray & believe for victory in the matter. Word up & stand up in the Lord, i.e., Trust in the Lord with all your heart... :)
---Leon on 2/6/13

look in the mirror, focus on the source, and let him go and pray he does not repeat the same mistakes.
---aka on 1/15/13

Seriously! He is the odd man out at NASA!

No he is the odd man out because he has a crackhoremomma, hey just saying :)

oh and by the way, the fault lies with parenting. When you have a socially awkward adult the responsibility is solely the parents fault. The parents are responsible for raising a child to be a productive, communicative, and well-adjusted member of society.

You failed and your son is reaping the results and rewards of sloppy parenting.

If you had provided a sound foundation for your child and didn't identify yourself as being a crackhoremomma then maybe your son would have been a well-adjusted adult. You can't be a crack-pot parent and expect to hit the lottery with a successful child.
---Follower_of_Christ on 1/15/13

my son Is a huge loser. you know when you are at the grocery store and you see the socially awkward guy infront of you buying cat food vasiline and a weight watchers frozen dinner. That is my son. If i try to talk to him he just stares at me. I have sent him to many doctors. I have talked to his coworkers. He works at NASA and his coworkers think that he is weird and the odd ball. Seriously! He is the odd man out at NASA!
---Crackhoremama on 1/15/13

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Cut the purse strings.

The rest will fall into place.

If he's already left home, and he's self-supporting, Bible studies with him from Romans would aid much. It's an eye opener. Always good to read Romans.
---Phil on 11/28/12

Donna, I understand what you mean when you say your son is a loser. I believe it is wrong to even think that way, but I understand what you mean. He probably doesn't want to work, never listens to you. Is no help to anyone, doesn't do anything around the house. Keeps himself dirty. Maybe doing drugs but won't leave the house. Talks back to you. That sort of thing. A person not getting anywhere and won't listen. There is many families struggling with children like that. If he is grown up and he is, you cannot do anything but show him the door. Or just led it go and pray that God changes him. No matter what you do, it will not work. No one can change someones heart but God.
---Mark_V. on 11/25/12

Donna, why do you say that about your son?

More important, why do you talk about 'let go?', and what do you mean?
---Peter on 11/21/12

Please don't see your son as a loser. Talk with him, pray for him, get to the bottom of why he does the things which make you feel this way about him. You gave birth to him so don't give up on him.
---andreea on 11/21/12

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Did you ever sit and just talk? are his goals? a job ? sport he fancy? Maybe he wanted you to listen..

Mom never talked to me, only how ugly, stupid,etc. I began to act out on those words.. God surprize me! God change my whole outlook forever! It was about self esteem..these were sensitive,suffering people time impressed it changed me ,No bling no riches, just I am Somebody NOT a worthless "loser like mom said! was able get people who gave up on..back to work,paying restitution & supporting their children.Not one has gone back to prison.They respect me even today. When they see me, they say" that lady believed in me and she help me get my family, job life back".I tell them it was God..
---ELENA on 11/19/12

My mom ( not.birth mom) all my life, " you never going to be.nothing!'. Yes, god love! went from being "a loser", worked legal system, helped men society call " losers".pray now: father God please help this family.we know God Do not make Junk! open her eyes, give vision,extend Love! Sometimes to be broken vessel/ you got to remake us! We got to.put self.out the way! Defeat not a word for the christ like! We thank you for all you.going to Do in JESUS mighty name. Rejoice healing coming your up you mind sister let God.move! God can do wonders with what society call " losers!"
---ELENA on 11/19/12

Maybe you mean he is a loser partly because of how you have had your hold on him. But God does not fire mothers. You can learn. In the United States we have quite an idol culture of worshiping independence. In family culture countries, parents and children stay with each other and share each other's resources > the younger ones' strength and energy under the supervision of the seniors' wisdom and experience. But in the United States there often is a "divorcing" of kids from parents, as soon as they head off for school or a profession. They have not learned how to trust and depend on each other and share, and their marriages show this with a "fifty-percent divorce rate" here. We can learn how to love > Matthew 11:28-30.
---willie_c: on 11/18/12

donna77...First of all, you stop calling YOUR son a loser. Let him make his own mistakes and he will learn from them. 23-year old men are hardly totally grown up. Do not enable him in any way by giving him a place to live or money.
---KarenD on 11/17/12

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let go by forgiving yourself for not raising him to be a winner, you allowed your son to be known as a loser. Magnifying his loser worthless identity during his first 18 years of life, because when parents openly shame their own children their disgust cannot be hid in private. may God forgive you for having such disdain for your own child and hateful words and actions you used while raising him to be the loser you call him today. You can shout about your loser son all you want however 5 years of adulthood do not undue 18 years of parents providing and teaching their child foundation of wisdom, encouragement, hope, support, inspiration, courage, discipline and love among so many other positive teachings and uplifting words of confidence.
---Follower_of_Christ on 11/17/12

I used to think the same about one of my children. What she was doing was breaking my heart and I felt sure that she would be dead within a couple of years. God is great, He answers prayer, He guides us to where human help is available and shows us the way. My daughter now has received a specific gift from God, is greatly used in her church and I hardly recognise her as the 'loser' who once shared my home.

I truly hope and pray that you will experience the same joy with your son that I have now with my daughter.
---Rita_H on 11/17/12

Why did you just curse your son?

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 11/17/12

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