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Bad Finances No Marriage

My boyfriend and I got engaged last June, after Christmas he told me our relationship will go no further due to my bad credit score which is in the high 500s. Is this justifiable or is he being selfish,and shallow. I told him to have faith in God.

Moderator - Sounds like he is a good steward. Have him help you clean up your spending.

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 ---Emily on 12/30/12
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He's correct in his actions. If your credit rating is bad now, it won't get better with marriage - just worse, and he will get his credit messed up too. There is a difference then having "faith" in God, and presuming God will take care of your carelessness. You need to start taking responsibility for your mistakes and stop blaming someone else for what is your fault. Once you realize that you are the one at fault in this relationship, you than can you start to correct your credit score.
---wivv on 1/2/13

Having faith in God and trusting your financial responsibility are two entirely different things, Emily.

And there's a saying: Engagements were made to be broken. They are NOT an irrevocable agreement to marry. Engagement simply means, "If all goes well, we shall marry."

Obviously, all has not gone well.

Happy New Year!

Christ is born! Glorify Him!
---Cluny on 1/2/13

williec....I like your answer!
---KarenD on 1/2/13

According to my Bible, we have that "the husband is head of the wife," in Ephesians 5:23. So, if you are not in a relationship where he is developing as your "head", you have not really been engaged . . . biblically.

Now, if he is a Christian, I can see he would have evaluated if your score has been getting better because of you doing what is honest, by paying off things you owe . . . since you gave your word that you would . . . didn't you?

But what is the situation? Maybe you can't pay. Is your word good? Luke 16:10-13 > How good your word is in borrowing is an indication of how good your word is for vows of marriage.
---willie_c: on 1/2/13

It is better to know now that he is not prepared to take you and your debts into his future. Maybe you didn't tell him about the debts and he just found out, if that's the case it would have been a dreadful shock. He needs to know where he stands.

Telling him to have faith in God over this is wrong because God tells us that we must not be debtors. You don't wait for God to get you out of debt - you DON'T get into debt in the first place.

He does not like what he sees lies ahead of him if he stays with you and most would not blame him. Debt kills relationships.
---Rita_H on 1/1/13

Emily your boyfriend appears to be selfish and shallow to you because you are emotionally immature defending your position.

Take time to examine your life due to extreme financially irresponsible. Your faith in God is blind if you are not taking action to overcome your careless attitude to paying your creditors. If your husband is to be the head he expects a women in Proverbs 31 not a careless women with no concern for the future. Today here in USA it is almost impossible to rent an apt, or get a job without good credit, and bad credit could cost you thousands of dollars in interest if needing a car or home. it takes courage to admit mistakes find support to correct your finances at once.
---Follower_of_Christ on 1/1/13

don't worry about your credit... it's a system of fraud anyways.
banksters set it up to make us their slaves.... just work with cash and forget the credit system....its a game and a trap
---weatherbill on 12/31/12

Let's see, Emily.

You want to marry a man who doesn't want to marry you, and you think he's selfish and shallow.

Are you SURE you want to marry such a man you think so little of?

Christ is born! Glorify Him!
---Cluny on 12/31/12

Emily, I agree completely with the moderator, and your "boy friend".
Listen to them.
---josef on 12/30/12

//after Christmas he told me our relationship will go no further //

i think this is a tell on several levels. i think something might have surfaced in the shopping season that preceded Christmas that might have him concerned...really concerned.

and, he may also found a reason. it might have already been on his mind.

boyfriend or not...take this opportunity to examine yourself and not him.
---aka on 12/30/12

I think that for once the Moderator is giving good advice.

Of course, you've not told us what your fiance's credit score is. Has he told you?

And you have not told us why YOUR credit score is the way it is.

Christ is born! Glorify Him!
---Cluny on 12/30/12

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