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Should I Divorce Abuse Husband

From the beginning of my marriage there has been infidelity, verbal abuse, even physical abuse once. Last year we were separated for 3 months. I always question our marriage and feel like something isn't right. I know I wouldn't have gotten married if we did not have a child and now we have two. Help.

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 ---Laci on 1/12/13
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Here there are two reasons, both the infidelity, which Christ directly said (actually he only seems to have said it to the husband, but I assume that was because in those days only the husband could begin a divorce) was reasons for a divorce or the abuse.

In the letters there is also the grounds for separation without any direct reason being given

The only thing is that too many people in this age always say 'it was only his fault'

There is evidence in the post at the beginning that there were errors even before the marriage - if anyone thinks about that any more!
---Peter on 1/31/13

Cheryl, God does not expect us to live and be abused. many women are abused some verbally and emotionally. I am glad you had the strength to get out and get your children out. in proverbs is a verse that tells dad not to provoke his children. it only tears them down. God bless you and I am glad you are happy now.
---shira4368 on 1/31/13

I had an abusive husband who cheated on me.I felt guilty. Someone even suggested that because I wasn't praying 4 hours a day, it was my fault. Then I heard a tape Pat Robertson made about the situation. If a man is abusing you he is telling you to leave. If a man is cheating on you he is telling you to leave. That tape set me free. There is scripture about an unsaved husband telling a wife to leave, and she can leave. Look it up. I divorced that abusive man and it was the happiest decision of my life. He is that same man nearly 30 years later. However, my walk with Jesus is wonderful! And my children, are better because they got out of the abuse when I did. They had time with me to discover what love really looked like.
---cheryl_obrien on 1/31/13

There is one song, an old popular song, "Thanks to Calvary, I am not the man I used to be." There is also a saying, "Behind every great man is a great woman."
---bike on 1/19/13

Be thankful there has only been one incident of physical abuse, however verbal abuse is just as potent as physical abuse. It will tear down your confidence, self worth, and eventually lead you to into complete and total manipulation.

Run. Go to a shelter, or the home of a trusted family member. Do not under any circumstances let him know where you are. Seek counseling and a lawyer to support you in breaking free.

Abuse of any kind is never okay no matter how many religionists tell you to stay with a man who does not respect his wife, further eventually when he cannot get enough satisfaction from abusing you he will move on to his next targets - your children. nothing the Lord or Apostles did was verbally or physically abusive.
---Follower_of_Christ on 1/16/13

Go ahead and divorce. Just do not say "The Bible tells me so." The Bible says that divorce is because people's hearts are hard. The Bible instruction is to remain unmarried or be reconciled to your husband and that any man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. Not a person on earth follows the Bible. Hosea never divorced Gomer. David never divorced Michal. Nor are any of David's wives mentioned to have divorced him. Follow the way of the world just as all christiandom.
---bike on 1/15/13

You have a biblical right to divorce your husband based on the infidelity and on the abuse.

Matt5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

1Tim5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

Failing to provide for his own includes not providing a safe home free of abuse.
---trey on 1/15/13

Are you crazy or something. Look at what this poor woman has been going through! She can divorce him on grounds that he has not been faithful, alone. But, to have someone beat up on you, come on!
---pat on 1/15/13

More kids by this abusive man?! Are you joking? There's already enough pain in that family, why bring more children into it?
---Mary on 1/15/13

As a matter of opinion, I think you should follow the scripture. As a matter of opinion, I think you should continue to have children by the man and that you affirm the union by coming together -- just do not live together. The New Testament teaching does not favor divorce. More, scripture teaches that God hates divorce. Just do not live together. You realize the conflict in living together. It will not likely be different with another man as all are replace testament christians and no one on earth follows the scripture. That's why people should not marry. (Matthew 19:10 and 1 Corinthians 7:1) But again, no one follows the scripture. The best remedy: stay married, continue family, have more kids by your husband -- just don't live together.
---bike on 1/15/13

Laci please contact me if u feel threatened. I can put u in touch with someone that will help you. I am shira4368
---Shira4368 on 1/14/13

You need to get away right away don't tell him or let him know where you are going. Along with that, report him to the police right away. (They should be able to put you into contact with a women's shelter you can go to. Don't go to family or friends.) Physical abuse can and will, (in situations I know about) only get worse. After that you both need counseling from a qualified counselor, but not together unless the counselor says so. Once you leave him for a shelter, DON'T return to him until AFTER the counseling is over and you are given the O.K. by the counselor.
---wivv on 1/14/13

First, make sure you really are with God.

And get wise to whatever it is about you that made you able to get into this, or else you could just do it all over again and worse.

By the time God gives you honesty about your own part in this, you can also have honesty for knowing what to do, by then (c:
---willie_c: on 1/13/13

You have every right to divorce him. There is nothing worse than a lousy marriage. Two children! Unless you have a good job, you will need some help! But a bad marriage is no answer to your dilemma.
---pat on 1/12/13

What kind of help do you want, Laci?

Do you want someone to say, "Oh, poor thing. What pigs men are"? There will be enough here doing that, but it won't really be what you need.

Sounds like the best help you can get right now would be a good family lawyer.

Christ is baptized! In the Jordan!
---Cluny on 1/12/13

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