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Should I Marry 70 Year Old

Iam 66 yes young, my boyfriend is 70. I have been a widow for 6 yrs We want to be together for the remainder of our days but if I get really married I loose all my v.a benefits that my husband died for. I also loose my insurance and am a cancer survivor. Please help.

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 ---RIA on 3/30/13
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Darlene, you hit the nail on the head. remember the pants stretchers? I had about 4 pr of them. lots of starch and stretch them pants on the stretcher, then iron them. we had no air in many places we lived. yes, I did earn everything I get but there is just one little thing. I will never get married again. I have no desire to complicate my life. If I found a husband at my age, it would probably be someone who wanted a maid. someone to take care of them. that WILL NEVER NEVER HAPPEN. I am happy and content the way I am now. my sons wife walked out on him, and took everything in the house. I moved in with him so I could just be here and watch over things since he is gone all the time. we get along great and I am happy here. God bless Darlene.
---shira4368 on 8/12/13

Shira what angers me about the loss of Health insurance and benefits from husbands being in the military if remarry is the very real fact that you served right along with him. No you didn't go overseas but you wives had your own war right here at home. Years of having no husband with you,worry when he was in a war if he would make it back home,loneliness,being a single parent when he was gone,that coupled with all the things you did for him such as keeping his clothes in military condition,and doing everything you could to help him. You earned everything you get and more.
---Darlene_1 on 8/11/13

karend, I receive military insurance called tri care for life. If I ever re-married I would loose that even tho my husband earned it with his service in the military. my husband died as a result of agent orange in vietnam and he earned the benefits I receive.
---shira4368 on 6/17/13

Shira, I have a friend who said she doesn't want to get married, again, because she needs her husband's benefits.

And I now have a special companion, and I am concerned about how to make sure she would get what she needs, and not lose whatever she has by being with me.

So, I understand you, I think. And laws should not be only for dealing with how wrong people would do things. They need to be set up to make sure we can do what is good.

But God can use how things are, for His best good . . . however this works out (c:

It can mean we trust Him and discover all He really has for us, that He is committed to ! ! ! (c:

Thank you (c:
---willie_c: on 6/17/13

willie, I am not suggesting every divorced woman collect her husbands benefits. when your spouse dies you should be able to keep his benefits. my husband died after 50 yrs married and if I decided I wanted to get married again, I would loose my health benefits from the military, even tho he spent 23 years in the air force. he has been gone for almost 6 years and I could never afford to loose my health benefits. it just needs to be fair for widows thats all I am saying.
---shira4368 on 4/1/13

If a woman could collect her deceased husband's benefits and keep them, each time she remarried, this country could be a black widow's paradise. I mean like, for example, how a green teen beauty queen could marry an 85-yrs-old man about to die in two years, make him feel young, then go on to each next one, collecting more and more, all the way.

"But would the money be worth it?"

Uh-uh . . . to miss out on love, for the sake of money and security . . . the degradation of that is too much to pay.

But in the United States, there is the "fifty-percent divorce rate", showing me that a lot of people are fooling themselves into "love" witch gives way to divorce.

Instead, make sure with God.
---willie_c: on 4/1/13

RIA: Please humbly discuss this issue with the Lord and enjoy whatsoever He counsels you. You can even pray together on this with your BF(asking the Lord to guide you two).
---Adetunji on 3/31/13

"No", based on what you state, getting married may not be the best thing for you. You can be very close friends without a formal marriage. You can still be together "For the remainder of your days" by being very good friends." (I'm 75, and I've been married almost 50 years, and my wife is still alive, for which I'm very thankful, so I know the value of having a life-mate you can be with, but you can still have that comradship without marriage, in your case.)
---wivv on 3/31/13

I don't advise it. Not with what you've said. Just be friends.
---Bike on 3/30/13

Most 66 years olds are eligible for social security and medicare. I would like to know how she is a widow for only 6 years yet says that her husband died for VA benefits. I find it funny that some think older couples living together have only platonic relationships.
---KarenD on 3/30/13

If you are a christian, there is no middle ground, you can't live together, so you have to ask yourself some hard questions. Frankly, I think you already know what you need to do.Be blessed!
---Juanita on 3/30/13

ria, I understand how you feel. I've seen older people live together. God forbids that so what do we do? I would never live with a guy but that is my personal belief. I would not judge anyone that does what they want to do. just giving you a biblical truth. the laws should be changed. if your husband earned monies for you, you should keep it all. it shouldn't keep you from getting married.
---shira4368 on 3/30/13

RIA has pointed out how some laws that will take away widow's benefits are actually hostile towards marriage.

Is this really good public policy?

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 3/30/13

I know of some that are living together in a platonic relationship largely for economic reasons. In that there may be no necessity to get married.

However you really need to be in prayer to determine if God will bless any such relationship you may have either in marriage or simply co-habiting.
---e.lee7537 on 3/30/13

RIA, Are you and your boyfriend Believers? First, just make sure that you two are not "unequally yoked", as per II CORINTHIANS 6:14. Make sure that you both are travelling on the same Narrow Path towards the LORD. If you both are Believers, then, Seek the LORD's Face. Trust HIM to answer you. Desire only HIS Will in this, not just your own. If HE calls you to marry this man, if it's in HIS Will for you to marry this man, then, despite losing your benefits, GOD WILL surely provide for you in some other way. HE knows your every need. MATTHEW 6:25-34, PHILIPPIANS 4:6.
---Gordon on 3/30/13

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