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Husband Looks At Her Picture

Unbelieving husband had emotional affair before marriage and still keeps pictures of the other woman after he promised not to over and over? Should I stay or go ? I was willing to forgive but it keeps happening he looks at her pictures still.d

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 ---Ema on 12/7/13
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It reads like you both need marriage counseling. Just for him to throw away her pictures is only treating the symptom and not the problem.
---wivv on 4/4/14

There are many different types of unequally yoked married couples. Sometimes he's a Christian but she isn't (at the time of marriage) sometimes the reverse is the case. Sometimes one is saved after marriage but the other is not BUT worst of all i.m.o. is when two Christians marry and then one falls away BIG TIME and has an affair with another.

God alone can nurture and help the deserted one and comfort him/her when others point a finger in the wrong direction. "Well he/she must not have been a very good husband/wife for him/her to do that" they say in ignorance.

God upholds the faithful one when other Christians fail them. Ask HIM what you should do and have peace about it.
---Rita_H on 1/1/14


So, if the man committed adultery against his wife "in his heart" (but not in the flesh), perhaps that might give her the right to divorce him "in her heart" but not in the flesh either.

Besides, how do you know that when he looks at the pictures, he's looking at them with lust? That's pure conjecture. Perhaps he's just reliving moments of nostalgia (perhaps not a good thing, but it may not rise to the level of lust and adultery).
---StrongAxe on 12/29/13

Ema, who did your husband actually marry?

And you're going to leave your husband over his looking at a PICTURE?

Grow up!

Christ is born! Glorify Him!
---Cluny on 12/29/13

\\however to me there is such a thing as emotional adultery.\\

The Bible, however, knows of know such thing.

Glory to jesus Christ!

---Cluny on 12/16/13

"But I say unto you, That whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.". -Matthew 5:28
---Jed on 12/17/13

\\however to me there is such a thing as emotional adultery.\\

The Bible, however, knows of know such thing.

Glory to jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 12/16/13

Ema I assume then your husband only had an emotional affair with her and not physical. In that case remember a fantasy is always better than real life,however to me there is such a thing as emotional adultery. Marriage is meant to cut out all attachments whether emotional or physical. Tell him you think you both need to go to counseling together. If you are thinking of leaving anyway and he won't go try the shock treatment,tell him if he wants her,go get her. The best answer would be to have a saved Christian husband but until God/Holy Ghost draws him to that he can't come. Pray for his salvation and that he will wake up and realize he is wrong to moon over that woman.
---Darlene_1 on 12/16/13

"What should I do?" Jan there is nothing you can do to change or control your husband. What you can do, through Father's grace, is "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding." Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.
Trust Him to influence and empower you to be the kind of woman He has called you to be, and place all your cares upon Him, knowing that He cares for you. He knows what you have need of, even before you ask. Trust Him. Take your focus off your husband and place it on Him. Yield to that calm, whispering voice within you, and follow it. To quote a cliche "let your conscience be your guide".
---Josef on 12/16/13

Emma, what is sounds to me is that he is still in love with the other woman. Otherwise he would not be looking at her pictures over and over. I don't think there is anything you can do to change what is in his heart. Only God can change him. You should tell him how you feel, tell him how it hurts you, and that you are not going to put up with that. I know God does not like divorce, but sometimes separation helps out a lot. If nothing is done, nothing changes. It's easy for anyone here to say to you to pray and ask God to change your circumstances but that statement is very very true. Turn everything over to God and just move forward, leave on things in His hands.
---Mark_V. on 12/16/13

My husband looks at seductive pictures of other men. I try to ignore it but he seems to be losing attraction for me. He is always looking at other men wherever we go. He glances at their bodies with elevator eyes. What should I do?
---Jan on 12/15/13

I see this is hurting you, and I do hope that in prayer God will help you.

The solution, though, is not to leave your husband, but to work to sort things out.

Remember that forgiving is always painful, and the closer the person you must forgive, the more painful it will be
---Peter on 12/11/13

Cluny, yes there are people who call themselves Christians, but who keep on with arguing and betraying people and abusing people. But this is not ok, and not what our Father expects to continue, as our Apostle Paul clearly shows >

"Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation," (in Philippians 2:14-16)

And our Apostle John clearly says, "Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment, because as He is, so are we in this world." (1 John 4:17)

So, Ema, do this which is possible with God.
---willie_c: on 12/10/13

\\A Satanic person can charm someone into falling in love with him or her, then betray love by arguing and adultery and abuse. \\

Christians do exactly the same things, OK?

Glory to jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 12/10/13


1)if the affair was only emotional and not physical, you can ask him not to look at pictures, but the sin is between him and God. If your husband was physical with that woman, you can ask him to get rid of the pictures.

But I understand that it hurts you a lot, and I feel sad for you for your pain

2) It was a mistake to marry a non-believer, but then I married while a non-believer, then I believed but my wife did not believe. So I am also the only believer in the house. At this point the only sadness is that my wife is not a believer, not what she does

But, Ema, it seems to me that you write this because you are hurting a lot.

I wish more was written to help you out
---Peter on 12/9/13

If you were saved before marrying him, didn't Biblical people warn you against marrying an unbeliever?? And if they did, what did you do? If you ignored Biblical counsel, you yourself were unfaithful to our Groom Jesus, in which case you are your main problem . . . unless since then you have truly changed from so ignoring God's counsel.

John 8:44 shows us how Satan's children desire what he desires. A Satanic person can charm someone into falling in love with him or her, then betray love by arguing and adultery and abuse.

If you married a child of Satan, you chose a man of Satan's character. Satan's word is no good, and it's "like father, like son". How you could so fool yourself is what you need to deal with.
---willie_c: on 12/9/13

Why on earth did you marry an unbeliever? God hates divorce. Study 1st Corinthians.
---Grandma on 12/7/13

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Why you married an unbelieving husband in direct contradiction to God's word is not my business.

But may I suggest that you make an honest effort to tell him how you feel about this? Don't scream, cry, or recriminate. Don't indulge in statements such as, "How could you do this MEEEEEEE???"

Say rather, "I love you, and I'm hurt and insecure when I see these pictures of the women who were in your life."

BTW, are these snapshots, portraits, or merely pix on his computer?

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 12/8/13

"Should I stay or go ?"
Ema "the woman which has an husband that believes not, if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife.... for how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband?" 1Cr 7:13-16
"I was willing to forgive but..."
If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." Mat 6:14,15
---josef on 12/8/13

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