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I HATE My Wife

I am married over 10 yrs, have 3 young kids and HATE my wife, regret the day i ever met her, getting to point wake up in middle of night cursing her, can,t work etc. - love my kids, and don,t believe in divorce - can,t take this any more.

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 ---geo on 5/19/14
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Rita H please dear sister look at what you did,judge me and conclude I am bitter. Thats what was done before by another,I am not bitter and that kind of judgement,wrong,is exactly what fuels the fire. You also misjudged me when I said "sometime",I was trying to keep it light,but once again you judged me wrong and by what others do,not me. I think what is a bad problem is that people,me included,stopped using scripture to address the wrongs. I agreed with you. So here is a scripture,Judge not that you be not judged. I've been giving the verse "love one another" for years and thats the answer. Love does no wrong. God Bless
---Darlene_1 on 6/6/14

Darlene, if you continue this you are 'fanning the fire' and it will not go out. It does not matter that someone else 'needs the message' because that 'someone else' does not wish to know and just enjoys controversy, does not want the fire to go out and will be bored senseless if/when it does. That will be good.

Ongoing bitterness is not helpful to newcomers here (in fact it is harmful) and none of it answers the question originally asked.

Blogs always take on a life of their own but on a Christian site this should always be done politely, otherwise it is better that we don't participate at all.

When people say they'll try something SOMETIME is usually means NEVER.
---Rita_H on 6/6/14

Rita Ha Ha ha,I saw that entry after I had already sent that and wished I had seen it before. The only thing about us "cooling it" we really aren't the ones who need that message the most. I'm not mad at Cluny I never am but it's difficult to set back and let someone give wrong information about me. I know he is like a naughty little boy having fun name calling on the play ground. I do agree with you without input maybe he would give up but I think not completely. I still know no fuel on a fire and it goes out. Haha guess maybe I'll try that sometime. God Bless
---Darlene_1 on 6/5/14

"Nothing will humble anyone who is on a pedestal."

Shira, I was out fishing one morning. I saw a frog sitting on a lily pad. That was his pedestal.

He looked so smart and majestic in his own world. He was waiting for something to fly by that he could consume on his own self-lust. He appeared so secure and in charge of his world.

Everything changed for the frog when a big 'ol Bass jumped at the lily pad and ate him alive.

We still have the same lily pad but no "majestic" frog left to show his superior attitude any longer.

That unsecured lily pad is for rent now waiting for another stupid frog to come along....
---Elder on 6/5/14

Darlene, I suggest you 'cool it' and stick with what you said in your last post.
---Rita_H on 6/5/14

Ot oh bro elder. With your broke leg and my bridge, poor cluny doesn't have a chance. One thing for sure, nothing will humble anyone who is on a pedestal.
---shira4368 on 6/5/14

Cluny I wish I was as smart as you think you are. Maybe you just think you know things about people but its obvious where I'm concerned you are one dumb dude because there are so many feelings between love and hate it isn't as simple as if you don't do one you must do the other. Perhaps you are transferring your feelings onto other people who don't have those feeling. Bless your little pea picking heart you try to sound so smart and instead are sounding not very smart at all. ( Threw in some Texas Southern sayings on this one.) God Bless
---Darlene_1 on 6/4/14

\\ To feel demeaned you have to care and I don't that either. \\

Hatred is not the opposite of love.

Apathy is.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 6/4/14

Rita H I think you are right. If you don't feed a fire it goes out. God Bless
---Darlene_1 on 6/3/14

The real quote is, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
Eleanor Roosevelt
---Elder on 6/3/14

Cluny I didn't say I felt demeaned and I don't. To feel demeaned you have to care and I don't that either. God Bless
---Darlene_1 on 6/3/14

"More unfounded accusations."

Only in the sight of the void reality denying, mind of the intellectual Cluny.

Ya know Skunks don't think they stink either.

No, I'm not saying you are a Skunk. You are just a good actor.

Go break a leg Cluny.
---Elder on 6/3/14

Darlene, how about this idea - maybe we should all stop feeding the trolls. In other words, cease answering those who are here purely to offend others. Such people just enjoy upsetting others and go away once they no longer gain any satisfaction from their sad efforts.
---Rita_H on 6/3/14

cluny, we don't allow you to demean anyone here but you just keep doing it. that is how you get pleasure. you really don't add insight here but controversy. your little insults to everyone, not only me, but cuts to others lacks common sense posted by you. normally I don't respond to you unless I put your name at the beginning of my post. Darlene and others don't deserve a response. after all that you sign :love of Jesus" pitiful pitiful pitiful.
---shira4368 on 6/3/14

\\As for Cluny with him its always something different to demean others.\\

No one can make you feel demeaned without your consent, Darlene.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 6/3/14

Shira oh my goodness I didn't realize it was your bank passcode,thats very disturbing. I'm sorry it happened to you and you are so right we don't know whats under the surface of anything we do on line. As for Cluny with him its always something different to demean others. God Bless
---Darlene_1 on 6/2/14

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wow Darlene, cluny uses all his words up on me. is that what he is saying? well, Ive had some bad luck. I deleted my facebook account because somehow my bank passcode got posted on facebook. there is things under the surface on facebook. I don't trust anything on net. there is no way under God's son anyone knows my passcode to my acct.
---shira4368 on 6/2/14

Cluny Calling one ignorant for that reason is ignorant to expect someone should know all of it. I am not ignorant of your denominations practices I simply have had no good reason to be schooled in useless information which had no meaning in my life. Your denominations practices are not important to my walk with God. God Bless
---Darlene_1 on 6/2/14

Micha thank you for the information because before it meant nothing to me when I didn't even know what it meant. I'm not in a denomination that makes a special day of just that. All things Jesus did to us are special. God Bless
---Darlene_1 on 6/2/14

\\OK so you are in denial also. There is a 125 word max so let's cut to the simple... Just about every time you respond to Shirl. Is that enough?\\

More unfounded accusations.

I'm sorry you're ignorant of the historic feasts of the Church, Darlene.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 6/2/14

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Adetunji "The diversions may actually be satanic, intentionally introduced to reduce Godly learning based on the questions." Absolutely, I couldn't agree more and, if what you say is the case, we are all aiding Satan. This must stop because, if it doesn't, there will be no point at all in the existence of this website.

Time to grow up or go home I think.

---Rita_H on 6/2/14

Cluny posted "Happy Ascension" on Thursday May 29, 40 days after Pascha, the remembrance of the resurrection of Christ.
40 days after the resurrection was the ascension. It is good to remember that day as well.
Acts 1:3 To whom also he shewed himself alive after his passion by many infallible proofs, being seen of them forty days, and speaking of the things pertaining to the kingdom of God:
Acts 1:9 And when he had spoken these things, while they beheld, he was taken up, and a cloud received him out of their sight.
Acts 1:11
---micha90344 on 6/2/14

Cluny your phrase of Happy Ascension could be understood to mean go die. Why would you tell me that,it would help if you explain why you said that to me and others. Did you mean a well wish or as I said a death wish? I can't believe you would mean such evil on anyone. God Bless
---Darlene_1 on 6/1/14

"You can only make unfounded accusations."

OK so you are in denial also. There is a 125 word max so let's cut to the simple... Just about every time you respond to Shirl. Is that enough?

If people treated you like you do them you'd be posting 24 hours a day.

Your unforgiving spirit is at play too.

You appear to be a watered down version of those we just got rid of and the good 'old Eloy.

Sorry but you asked.
---Elder on 6/1/14

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**"And what have I said that's hateful? Be specific, please."

It is sad for sure that a person who is able to condemn others for their fault can not see his own. Here is one who must think there is no fault in himself and has no need of anything. **

In other words, you cannot give specific examples of where you think I'm hateful.

You can only make unfounded accusations.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 6/1/14

"And what have I said that's hateful? Be specific, please."

It is sad for sure that a person who is able to condemn others for their fault can not see his own. Here is one who must think there is no fault in himself and has no need of anything.

The Bible teaches us to examine ourselves. I practice this much. That is why I didn't give an instant reply to this question.

Why don't you, Cluny, examine yourself? Then you would not need to ask this question.

Your desire to be "right," sarcastic and always pointing out others errors and can't see your own, even when told, shows me a void in your life reveals a low self-esteem.
---Elder on 6/1/14

Rita_H: I agree with your point that the Moderators should do more to prevent diversion of discussions from the questions asked. The diversions may actually be satanic, intentionally introduced to reduce Godly learning based on the questions.
---Adetunji on 6/1/14

Thank you again Luke. I do understand that we cannot expect all to agree with each other on every topic when our backgrounds vary so much but I was brought up to understand that, even when we disagree, we should do so without malice or anger or hurtful words. That was taught me by non-Christians so I really expect at least that standard (or better) from regular users of a 'so-called' Christian website.

I'm praying for an improvement. I appreciate your input on this.
---Rita_H on 6/1/14

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//I now (sadly) expect hateful answers for saying that.//

Dear Rita,
Hi again. Please do not expect hateful answers for saying what you did. I do not think the jabbing going on is a surprise. With the different denominations that answer, and atheist who answer, even non-denominational followers who hate denominations, you will see those fighting for their denominations instead of the truth. It is a mixture of many different thoughts, opinions and believes, even ungodly ones. Everyone should understand that is going to happen when any person is free to answer so long as they do not cuss anyone. Don't go away, stay with the truth, God will reward you greatly, Agape
---Luke on 6/1/14

Yes, the feast of Ascension is not often remembered. Pentecost is, but Ascension is often forgotten. Rather a pity.

Thanks for reminding us of it, Cluny
---Peter on 5/31/14

The last few entries here are quite disgusting and I really hope no newcomer or non-Christian has just joined us. If they have they won't be staying. These entries have nothing whatsoever to do with the question and show no love for others WHATSOEVER.

I now (sadly) expect hateful answers for saying that.

I cannot see myself staying here for much longer the way things are descending into the pit of hell.

Why are the moderators not moderating these days? Much of what we see posted here recently should not be getting through.
---Rita_H on 5/31/14

Well cluny has a new phrase. "Happy ascension" clever, clever, clever

---shira4368 on 5/30/14 //++

Ascension is the feast in the pre-Reformation churches commemorating what took place 40 days after Christ rose from the dead.

Did you know that, shira and jerry?

Probably not.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 5/31/14

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Well cluny has a new phrase. "Happy ascension" clever, clever, clever

---shira4368 on 5/30/14 //

Isn't it wonderful! Cluny is blessing us with the hope of the ascension of the righteous to meet the Lord in the air at His second coming.

I wonder if he plans to wave goodbye to us as we ascend.

---jerry6593 on 5/31/14

Well cluny has a new phrase. "Happy assention" clever, clever, clever
---shira4368 on 5/30/14

\\... and you seem to not battle at all, just let it flow!
---Elder on 5/28/14\\

And what have I said that's hateful? Be specific, please.

Happy Ascension!

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 5/29/14

Geo, perhaps it would help to say WHY you hate you wife?

I know I have had troubles in my marriage, not to the level of hate, but sometimes the telling of why helps

Tell the rest of us why you hate her

---Peter on 5/28/14

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geo, if you hate this woman why did you marry her in the first place? Did you once love her? Did she change or did you change or did both of you change?

It appears to me that you have allowed a root of bitterness to spring up. The Apostle Paul tells us:
Col 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

He didn't just write this to fill up space. He wrote it because we husbands have a tendancy to get bitter against our wives. We need to remember that they are the weaker vessel (1 Pet 3:7).

I speak from experience. Try to communicate with her. Try to rise above and treat her with kindness and love. If you will be a godly husband to her she will respond in kind but it will take some effort.
---trey on 5/29/14

"\\ I battle everyday hate.\\

You seem to lose when you talk with me."

.... and you seem to not battle at all, just let it flow!
---Elder on 5/28/14

My friends,online family.
For any circumstances,here on Cnt.
(By no fault of theirs) the bloggs
Nxt time you get mad..think

Love of Jesus! Elena 5999
---Elena9555 on 5/27/14

Bye bye cluny
---shira4368 on 5/27/14

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\\If you didn't have the bridge you would still be doing the same thing. How pitiful to build your bridge of self elevation.
---shira4368 on 5/26/14\\

You have never apologized for telling me to end my misery by jumping off a bridge. (I do know that you want credit for it.)

And disagreeing with you and pointing out where you are wrong is not attacking you.

Christ is risen!
---Cluny on 5/26/14

Dear Cluny,
It is not hard to see that you find reasons to go after Shira on more then one time, on different blogs. And she fights back as best as she can. Hoping that someone takes you off line.
Two suppose Christians. Why not be a loving Christian? Forgive those who hurt you? We are to forgive each other. When that happens everyone is happy. I know you can do it.
I hope I did not misspell any words, Agape
---Luke on 5/27/14

If you didn't have the bridge you would still be doing the same thing. How pitiful to build your bridge of self elevation.
---shira4368 on 5/26/14

Luke, please go back and look at posts. Read all of cluny's post. He attacks everyone. I just jab back. I think cluny is just lonely and likes to entertain himself. He has attack Karen, elder, Darlene that I know. Maybe there are some I don't know.
---shira4368 on 5/26/14

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\\Dear Cluny and Shira,
Both of you should stop attacking each other.\\

How have I attacked shira?

I haven't wished her any ill at all, said that she was miserable, unhappy, and friendless (as she has said to me on more than one occasion), or that she should jump off a bridge.

Christ is risen!
---Cluny on 5/26/14

God bless everyone,thankyou Bro.adetunji and Bro.Luke,all respect to you,both bloggs excellent.Well,I am honest it wrong to hate anyone.I did in the past,late husband.God took "a chistle not like in hardware store but,a mental one" let me see how badit had become.Prayer rreally does help.please to the husband who sent this don't give up on to your pastor or someone you can trust..God has his own ways.straightening out such..question: do you have patience??
Love of Jesus!
---Elena9555 on 5/26/14

Dear Cluny and Shira,
Both of you should stop attacking each other. That is not right for a Christian to do. Almost every blog you guys attack each other.
Cluny has his own ways of answering, and Shira does also. We are all different, but we do not have to fight in every blog.
This person is asking a question, and we should answer the question. We all have different opinions. And many make errors in spelling. As long as we know and understand what they are saying it should not be a problem. I make mistakes too. We all do. Agape
---Luke on 5/26/14

\\Just like dragging everyone down.\\

Let's see, shira.

You told me to put an end to my misery by jumping off a bridge, but **I** drag everyone down?

Christ is risen!
---Cluny on 5/24/14

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You asked: How can love and hate share the same body?

During the second world war, guards who worked in extermination camps would gas people during the day, then go home at night and hug their kids. It's very possible to compartmentalize, and hold two mutually contradictory views at the same time.
---StrongAxe on 5/24/14

People behave based on the things they taken-in into themselves & formed a mind-set upon. The process of mind-setting in one person cannot be controlled totally by another person but can be influenced. Hatred is not a solution to our lack of control of others. Hatred hurts us mentally & can also cause us medical problems. Imagine how God tolerates many acting against HIS will every monent !!!
---Adetunji on 5/24/14

geo: I once hated my wife also, and she hated me. But then we both surrendered completely to God and He changed us both. We went through some tough financial times and had to work together. We became best friends and fell back in love. That was 25 years ago. We now love each other more than ever. Jesus is the key. Without Him, there is no marriage.

---jerry6593 on 5/24/14

Oh cluny, I have lost nothing from you as a matter of fact, I think your presence here is detrimental to all on christianet. You know..... Just like dragging everyone down. If you say hate is something you have never felt then you lie. I was bearing my heart and as usual your sarcastic remarks is just what I expected out of you.
---shira4368 on 5/24/14

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Cluny I can see your battle hate. Think the word is true, "know" the word is true and it will produce just how you sow it.
---Bryan on 5/24/14

\\ I battle everyday hate.\\

You seem to lose when you talk with me.

Christ is risen!
---Cluny on 5/23/14

anyone that says they don't hate something is not true. I battle everyday hate. I know its wrong and I have to redirect my thoughts many times. when I see people in high places ruining our country, it really shows. I have prayed about this a lot.
---shira4368 on 5/23/14

\\Geo : If you are a believer in God, you should not hate anyone on this earth.\\

All of us are tempted to do things we should not do, and frequently we fall and do them.

Christ is risen!
---Cluny on 5/21/14

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Hello Geo,
I have just started reading a book titled: Equipped to Love by Norm Wakefield that came highly recommended by someone
who felt the same as you do towards their mate. They found it immensely helpful. Here is the ISBN I-892754-00-2
Your marriage can be turned around. I'm praying for you.
---Simone on 5/21/14

Geo : If you are a believer in God, you should not hate anyone on this earth. You may not like what they do or disagree with their lifestyle but hatred must not dwell in your heart towards someone, (1) God has made & sustains. (2) Through whom God has given you something you like (your children) .
---Adetunji on 5/21/14

Well if your don't believe in divorce what do you believe in hate? Which is worse for both are a sin. You have planted seeds of hate cause out of you on mouth is what is growing in your garden. Hate, hate for the woman who gave birth to your children? Do you tell your children this to? God have mercuy on you. You harvests will not be pretty.
---Bryan on 5/20/14

We may all be surprised how many feel the same way. That is why divorce rate is soaring out of control. Christ has been taken out of everything and no one wants to hear about Christ and how He died for us.
---shira4358 on 5/20/14

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StrongAxe: "Steveng: Also, hating one person doesn't make it impossible to love another. Why does everything have to be so black and white? There is no scripture that teaches that."

How can love and hate share the same body?

Ephesians 4:31
Galatians 5:15, 19
Hebrew 12:15
1 John 2:9-11
Proverbs 26:24-26
1 John 3:11-20

Geo, bring a christian friend together and reveal your hatred.

Colossians 3:9, 13, 16
Philippians 2:3-5
1 Peter 3:8
1 Peter 4:8
Galatians 6:2
Leviticus 19:11
Romans 12:10, 16
Romans 14:13
Romans 15:7
1 Corinthians 1:10
Ephesians 4:2, 32
Ephesians 5:19,21

I'm sure you are in everyone's prayers.
---Steveng on 5/20/14

how long have you felt this way?

What expectation is she not fullfilling? Did you tell her.
---Scott1 on 5/20/14

.... don,t believe in divorce - can,t take this any more.
---geo on 5/19/14

Take a moment and read about "The" marriage. GOD, put away a wife.
She was remorseful later. What about the kids? What will they and you gain by the void?

Jer_3:14 Turn, O backsliding children, saith the LORD, for I am married unto you: .....

Jer_3:20 Surely as a wife treacherously departeth from her husband, so have ye dealt treacherously with me, O house of Israel, saith the LORD.
Hos_2:7 ..... then shall she say, I will go and return to my first husband, for then was it better with me than now.
---Trav on 5/20/14

1John 4:20 If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?
When are you going to decide to hate your kids as well?
It seems quite arbitrary.
1John 3:15 Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him.
Rom 8:9 But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his.
StrongAxe, chastising one for not helping, while not helping is counterproductive, don't you think?
---micha9344 on 5/20/14

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Are you sure? ("Hate" is a very strong word.) What is making you hate your wife? Why did you marry her in the first place? Here's what I suggest: sit down with paper and pen and write down the made you attracted to your wife when you were dating and first married. After that write down the things that made you get to the position where you hate you wife. Then write down the things that you can do now that will cause you to improve your relationship. Even before getting started on how to improve your relationship with your wife, evaluate your Christian relationship with Christ. If that needs improving, make that first. Should you really not understand what I'm writing about, let me know.
---wivv on 5/20/14


I assume you came onto CN because you are a Believer in Christ. I also assume you want real advice, not platitudes or Scriptures jammed down your throat. I will try to help by telling you my own experience.

Marriage is hard, very hard. We as people have rough edges that scrape and cut each other. To stay married, I had to want to stay married. I had to be willing to accept my wife, just as she is, and not try to change her. I had to be willing to change me. I changed how I thought, how I related, how I talked to her. I consider her needs before my own, in everything. I lead her by being her servant. I had to stop playing the victim, and grow up. I had to stop wanting my way and consider what is best for us.
---Mark_Eaton on 5/20/14

I wonder since you "can't work" if your wife sees you could work if you wanted to and tells you about it all time. Must wonder too if your hatred stems from not wanting to face the truth about yourself that you find any excuse to blame her and avoid taking a good look at the real problem,you. You don't believe in divorce,maybe because shes working and supporting you and the family. The Bible says something to the effect if a man won't work he shouldn't eat. If you love your kids get a job and support them and stop raising a ruckus cussing their mother and give them a peaceful home. Sounds to me like that family would have more peace without you. Don't you realize it affects your children in their school work and social interactions.
---Darlene_1 on 5/20/14

Geo, assuming that you married your wife for good reasons, aware of her good and bad points, who has changed in the years since, you or her? And how?
---Warwick on 5/20/14

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micha9344 and Steveng:

When somebody has a problem, telling him "you're doing it wrong" or "you are being sinful" isn't particularly useful without providing an alternative.

geo says he can't take this anymore. Clearly just "stop hating his wife" is much easier said than done, because if it was easy, he could easily have done it already.

Steveng: Also, hating one person doesn't make it impossible to love another. Why does everything have to be so black and white? There is no scripture that teaches that.
---StrongAxe on 5/20/14

To Bro.Cluny,all! That is certainly the truth you told the gentleman who says he no longer loves his wife.Cluny,that very beautiful and it makes sense if you are married.I mean to be in a marriage it not all about him,he has to give over to do for her as well,that what marriage is..
doing what best for the wife and the family.

Love of Jesus! Elena 955
---Elena9555 on 5/20/14

BTW, I'd be curious to hear your wife's side of this story.

Christ is risen!
---Cluny on 5/19/14

geo, Micha shared some good verses.

It sounds like you are not happy about the situation and hopefully desire to be able to love your wife. Your acknowledgment of the problem, and notably without blame for your wife, is an important step. Bring that to God in prayer. He is able to enable you to love, regardless of anything your wife may or may not have done or do. He truly is all you need
---Chria9396 on 5/19/14

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You have obviously had at least three bursts of friendliness since the wedding.

What has happened over the last 10 years?

Where was your love for her when you last saw it? Maybe you merely misplaced it.

Have you considered counselling?

Remember, love is an act of the will to do what is best for the other person.

Christ is risen!
---Cluny on 5/19/14

You have commited murder in your heart transgressing one of God's commandments. If there is hate in your heart there is no love - not even to your children.

So, what specifically makes you "think" you hate your wife?
---Steveng on 5/19/14

Eph 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
Ecc 9:9 Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that [is] thy portion in [this] life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.
2Co 6:3-6 Giving no offence in any thing, that the ministry be not blamed: But in all [things] approving ourselves as the ministers of God, in much patience, in afflictions, in necessities, in distresses, In stripes, in imprisonments, in tumults, in labours, in watchings, in fastings, By pureness, by knowledge, by longsuffering, by kindness, by the Holy Ghost, by love unfeigned,
---micha9344 on 5/19/14

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