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Marry My Boyfriend

Should I marry my boyfriend even though I am divorced and he is not?

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 ---Nikki on 9/14/14
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Better you return to your ex or that Jesus be YOUR ONLY and not look for another. Why not return to your ex, say you want kids and live seperate since you have problem living together? That would be less of a sin than what you propose.
---sin on 10/13/14

Now, if I read this correctly, you are divorced but your boyfriend isn't divorced even though he is now married. If this is true then you are guilty of allowing him to commit adultery either now or sometime in the future if he divorces his wife for you. He cannot leave his wife for you. Question: are either of you Christians?

Matthew 19:9-10 (NASB77)
"And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery ."
---wivv on 10/2/14

Thanks StrongeAxe. Yes I did realize that but just wanted to add to what is being said really. However, in the days that those words were written I think that almost all murderers would have been executed and would not be able to marry the other one then. Just praying for forgiveness does not, necessarily, bring about forgiveness because many prayers are not genuine.

Someone deliberately sinning to achieve a goal is highly unlikely to be genuine when asking for forgiveness.

Words mean nothing. God knows the heart.
---Rita_H on 9/22/14

Only if your current spouse did anything unjust to her 'former partner, then the 2 of you TOGETHER (1) should pray and ask for God's forgiveness (2) ask for her former partner's forgiveness too if he is reachable (together, not your spouse alone) .The 2 of you are know 1.
---Adetunji on 9/22/14


As Cluny points out, yes I was using reductio ad absurdum.

When Jesus taught on divorce, he did not say that whoever divorced committed adultery, but rather he who divorces and then remarries does.

I was just pointing out the paradoxical situation that one who divorces his spouse and marries another commits adultery continuously, while one who murders his spouse instead (admittedly a much more horrible thing) sins only once, and then it's over. So, the consequences of murder, although severe, eventually end, but the consequences of divorce never do until your ex-spouse dies (in which case, his first marriage would naturally end anyway).
---StrongAxe on 9/21/14

--Adetunji on 9/18/14: What you say is true, and no, I was not planning on leaving my current wife - I just did not know if I was actually doing something wrong now! Not that I would really know what to do if I WAS doing something wrong!
---Peter on 9/21/14

Rita, I think StrongAxe is using an argumentum ad absurdum here.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 9/21/14

StrongAxe, I doubt God will agree with what you say about murder.

There ARE innocent parties in marriages which end in divorce. If one half of a marriage commits adultery and divorce results then the one who DID NOT commit adultery has nothing to answer for. I don't believe for one second that God wants either a woman or a man to stay permanently in a marriage where the other half of that marriage is committing adultery. We promise to keep ourselves only for the other and the one who breaks that is the offender. The one who kept the promise should be freed to lead a new life.

No, before anyone asks, I do not have a bible verse to back that up. I just believe that God is fair and knows the heart and the truth of all situations.
---Rita_H on 9/21/14


The paradox of adultery is this: since one continues to sin when being with someone who is divorced, it is actually better to murder the person's ex (making them eligible to re-marry, as they are now widowed), take one's lumps, pray for forgiveness, and marry them - then to not, as one merely has one single instance of murder to atone for, rather than a constant on-going state of adultery.

That is, it makes murdering someone SPIRITUALLY PREFERABLE. There is something very wrong with this.
---StrongAxe on 9/20/14

shira, can a divorced Christian remarry, continue to live in a relationship that Jesus called adultery, and still be forgiven and get into heaven?

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 9/20/14

Jesus teaches against divorce but he also teaches about other sin. All sin is forgiveable. There is nit one single sin God does not forgive. Even tho we do wrong things, we are given.
---shira4368 on 9/17/14

Peter : On the issue of your ex that asked for the divorce, i do not think you did anything bad or ungodly to let her go 1 COR.7:15. You cannot force her to continue to stay.
In the Bible, someone betrothed is treated as married. If the divorce of your current spouse to her betrothed husband is not against any Biblical prescription, then you are free.
---Adetunji on 9/18/14

I will also put my situation, perhaps for correction.

Fifteen years ago, I got married to a woman, after she was extremely keen on marrying me. Within 2 years, she had become badly depressed, kind to me but said she wanted a divorce. While I did not want the divorce, I was informed that if she pressed it, she would get a divorce. With 20 days before the court gave a divorce, I did sign the papers.

Seven years later, I met another woman, who had also been formally married but never met her ex-husband (these things happen in China), and then divorced.

Eventually, we decided to get married.

I would prefer to have been still married to my ex-wife, but I knew I could not hold the marriage.

Did I do something wrong?
---Peter on 9/17/14

Even if your husband was the main one who was wrong in your marriage, your own selfish ways could have helped to cause that divorce. And those selfish ways of yours now could help get you into another wrong marriage and then help to cause yet another divorce.

So, have you submitted to our Father for His correction, so now you can do things in love?

And did you make sure with God about whether He wanted you to marry your husband? If you did not make sure with God, that was not your husband's fault, if you did not make sure with God.

Become able to make sure with God about what He wants, please. And enjoy sharing with Him in how He rules us in His peace > Colossians 3:15.
---com7fy8 on 9/16/14

This cannot be answered without more information from you. Was your divorce caused by your adultery or his adultery or something completely different. Is your boyfriend married still, been married but now widowed or has never married? All such things make a difference to how God views a remarriage.
---Rita_H on 9/15/14

//What led to your divorce?//

It is important to know this before one can comment.
---Adetunji on 9/15/14

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What led to your divorce?

And are you saying that your BF is already married or never married?

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 9/14/14

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