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I Hate My Husband

I hate my husband. I hate everything about him. His rarely builds me up. He's completely selfish. Everything is about him. I work to bring what I can to our marriage and every time, I end up disrespected, lied to, and hurt. Why does God want me to stay in this?

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 ---sarah on 9/29/16
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Sara J... you are married to a pervert abuser. This is the kind of stuff that eventually we see on the news. You said on another blog you are 47 with nearly 10+ children and stepchildren. Are we going to see you all on the news like that family who starved and chained up their children? You say the girls are not beaten or wiped, but on another blog said you hoped Caitlan ( a girl) got beat by her father NAKED.

If you need help call the police, but don't advocate perverted abuse as a religious badge of honor. Whatever your sick doctrine is, no scripture gives any husband power to make a 47 year old woman live naked in front of 10+ children. You are either lying, or MR. SICKO needs to be arrested.
---kathr4453 on 3/25/19

I doubt your husband is worse than mine. i have not worn any clothes since we got married two years ago. I am required to remain nude from this point on. He makes every decision involving my body. I do not get to voice my opinion about anything. I must simply obey every decision made by my husband. I am also spanked and whipped regularly
---sara_johnson on 3/23/19

---mike4879 on 1/26/17

There's a saying that states, "I cannot change others, I can only change myself and others will change when I change" So, my question is: what can I change in me that will cause my husband to change. Your question should not be, "Why does God want me to stay in this?" but rather what does God want me to do to to make this marriage better?
---wivv on 11/1/16

Thanks StrongAxe, I am happy at least he is still with us.

Now what happened to Cluny?

Cluny, are you still having computer problems, or suffering as Monk?
---Nicole_Lacey on 11/1/16


You wrote: Has anyone heard from Monk?

He told me that he has tried to post on here several times, but none of his posts have gotten through, so he can only conclude that he has been banned for some reason (although I can't figure out why, because there are many people on here who have gotten away with much worse things than he has ever posted).

As usual, one can never be sure of these things, because the moderators never inform one of such decisions, nor are such decisions subject to oversight nor appeal.
---StrongAxe on 11/1/16

Has anyone heard from Monk?
---Nicole_Lacey on 10/13/16

Sarah, Jesus can say the same things about you.
But He will NEVER say He hates you because He loves you.

He ALWAYS builds you up even though you are completely selfish. Everything is about you.

Jesus was crucified and died to make you His bride.

Bringing His pure gift to your marriage with Him.

But every time you end up disrespecting Him, lying to Him and hurting Him.

Why does JESUS still want you as His bride?

Because He LOVES YOU.

Now go love your husband.
---Nicole_Lacey on 10/7/16

You got with him, possibly because of how you really are, deep-down inside . . . plus thanks to your own ways. So, learn how to love.
---Bill on 10/6/16

Another possibility:

2Co 1:5 Just as we have a share in Christ's many sufferings . . .
2Co 1:6 If we suffer, it is for your help and salvation, if we are helped, then you too are helped and given the strength to endure with patience the same sufferings we also endure.
2Co 1:7 So our hope in you is never shaken, we know that just as you share in our sufferings, you also share in the help we receive.

2Tim 2:12 If we suffer, we shall also reign with him: if we deny him, he also will deny us:

Each person reaches Heaven via the path of suffering. We must partake in suffering as Jesus did, that we might arrive at Heaven mimicking Him.

Your troubles with your husband, may be God's choice for your suffering.
---aservant on 10/4/16

Sarah, is it possible for you to give us some kind of information about when you got married, how many children do you have, and how long have you felt that way about him. Tell us if he is born again. Does he go to church. How are you disrespected, lied and hurt? Then you asked, why does God want me to stay in this?
What happened that now you hate everything about him? Please, be honest with your answers and I am sure you will get good advice here.
---Luke on 10/4/16

Your description makes him sound like an unbeliever. Can you really expect an unbeliever to react with love, like a believer?

The most important thing you bring to the marriage is YOU.

Why does God want you to stay?---sarah on 9/29/16

Perhaps God wants you to be the tool He uses to save your husband. Read 1Cor 7:1-17, esp v. 16.

Notice God permits the unbeliever to depart, not the believer.
---aservant on 10/4/16

Sarah: First you must recognize that marriage is a sacred institution instituted by God in the Garden of Eden (That's why it's called holy matrimony). Second, understand that marriage is a love triangle, with Jesus at the center. The closer each of you come to Jesus, the closer you will come to each other. Get right with Jesus, and watch Him do miracles for you.

---Jerry6593 on 10/4/16

talk to God he will soften things between you and him

we don't have any power to change people only God can, if you love him pray for him and then talk to him things will change.divorce is not an option
---pee on 10/3/16

If you are seeing what is really wrong with him, be thankful that you know right from wrong, and make sure you yourself are not like this. After all, you two were able to connect and marry. So, it can be that you have more in common . . . somehow . . . than you might want to admit. God knows!

If you see the truth about him, you can help him, by prayer and your . . . example. Have you read and fed on 1 Peter 3:1-4? This includes how to be pleasing to God. Have you been busy with how to be pleasing to God?
---Bill on 10/2/16

Likewise, I, my wife. Yes, it is quite a sentence. Children are the glue that holds a bad marriage together. I cannot say anything else holds it together.
---mike4879 on 10/1/16

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God wants you to stay in your marriage because you promised both HIM and your husband that you would.

I'd be interested to know what your husband has to say about YOU, Sarah.

BTW, all you single people who thinjthat marriage will bring you happiness ever after, look at what Sarah writes--and she is not the only one who says this.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 9/30/16

"Why does God want me to stay in this?"--Sarah
"If a Christian woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him...... For the Christian wife brings holiness to her marriage. Dont you wives realize that your husbands might be saved because of you?" 1 Cor 7:13-16 NLT
---Josef on 9/30/16

Did you ask God if you should marry him? Are either of you Born again Christians? How long have you been married? Are there children?

Before I can give you a detaild answer, you need to give me some answers.

While waiting for my answers
here's an exercise you both can do: write down all the things that attracted you to this man. Have him do the same thing about what he found attractive in you. After that, the two of you discuss what you wrote down. (Take the phones off the hook and turn off all mobile phones and devices and if there are children- have someone take them out of the house.)
---wivv on 9/29/16

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