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Consumed In Previous Marriage

Should I marry this man who is so consumed with his previous marriage. He seems to wanna monopolize my future with his past: A stepdaughter with 5 kids who is rude and nasty and doesn't like me and my fiance allows her to drop her kids off for extended periods.

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 ---Katrina_Smith on 11/29/16
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A possibility is that he has married her and therefore is still deeply involved with her, though outwardly he may have done a divorce thing.

May be he is trying to use you to take the place of his real wife . . . so he can get the change he wants in his marriage with her . . . but without going through the effort to change her.

Using people is not loving them. But if your ways can get you with a person like this, may be you need to deal first and mainly with how God is able to correct us all to find out how to love > all of us still need at least more of this > Hebrews 12:4-11.
---Bill on 12/3/16

Should I marry this man . . . ---Katrina_Smith on 11/29/16

. . . how relevant is it that strangers are posting opions . . .

They are posing opinions because you asked for them.

You might be causing him to commit adultery if you marry him = you committing adultery.

Mat 19:9 Says the ONLY LAWFUL REASON to divorce a wife is if she commits fornication. If a husband divorces her for any other reason, 1.) he CAUSES HER to become an adulteress, and 2.) he commits adultery when he marries a new wife.

If she DID NOT COMMIT FORNICATION, he becomes an adulterer by marrying you, and you become an adulteress by marrying him.
---aservant on 12/2/16

Starting a marriage while living in sin says you have no regard for the Lord. And please don't use that don't judge me comment. Sin is sin. No judgment required. God wrote the rules. We didn't. Problem is you are about the same age as his step-daughter.
---KarenD on 12/2/16

It is in your best interest, (personal opinion) to move on.
---WIVV on 12/2/16

If you ask a personal question, be ready to read personal answers (c:

It can be good to have children with you . . . so you can be their good Christian example, including to reach them for Jesus if they have not trusted in Him for salvation.

Should you marry a man you do not trust enough to talk with him, about this? Do you trust him? Your answer to this could be your simple answer. But it is good to pray and discover with God all that is His good (c:
---Bill on 12/1/16

//Have you seen some of the foolish questions on here and to be honest they aren't chtistian based, but Christians still entertain them//

I am sorry if we offended you.

But please state which question was inappropriate?

You are asking for our advice.

How can we give you advice if we don't ask additional IMPORTANT questions?

Do you want our advice, or do you just want us to AGREE with you?

//they have no room to judge. We are all human---Katrina_Smith on 11/30/16

Yet you want us to JUDGE your fiance?

How is that being Christian?

Does he EVEN know you are talking about him?

Can't you at least tell us what he tells you since he can't himself?
---Nicole_Lacey on 11/30/16

Have you seen some of the foolish questions on here and to be honest they aren't chtistian based, but Christians still entertain them...None of us are perfect and for that reason we will fall short of the glory...I appreciate your response, but Christians seem to forget they have no room to judge. We are all human.
---Katrina_Smith on 11/30/16

//Questions are specific...//

Yes, but words are specific as well.

I am glad to hear he is divorced and understand he loves his stepdaughter as his own.

I only asked because you used a legal term.

My mother also has a stepson.

But most people assume she gave birth to him because she has never called him her 'stepson'.

If he was still married you must know no one on CN could advise you to continue your relationship until AFTER your marriage no matter how much you both love each other.

I truly believe you love him. We on CN, strangers as we are, still want the BEST for you both

We care about your life and your soul

Sorry for the personal questions, but I had to ask.
---Nicole_Lacey on 11/30/16

Questions are specific...I obviously love him if agreed to marry him and how relevant is it that strangers are posting opions because that's what the site is for, however there are many things I love about him and he is divorced, but he views her as his own.
---Katrina_Smith on 11/30/16

//A stepdaughter with 5 kids who is rude and nasty and doesn't like me//

Could it be because your fianc is still married to her mother?

You called her a stepdaughter and NOT ex-stepdaughter

//my fiance allows her to drop her kids off for extended periods.--Katrina_Smith

Are you living with him before marriage?

You seem to be in the house with him if you are upset his grandchildren being with there.

Are you caring for the kids?

Why would you get up setup if a Grandfather wants his grandkids at his house for several days?

If you are in the house, I suggest you move out.

God can't bless a marriage if not done by His rules.
---Nicole_Lacey on 11/29/16

It's his house now but our wedding is December 17,2016 and his house is where we plan to live so I'm afraid of his future actions.
---Katrina_Smith on 11/29/16


You write many things about your fiancee that you don't like. You don't write a single thing about him you like, or a single good reason to marry him. It sounds like you have already made up your mind that he is bad news, and should be avoided. Why do you need a bunch of strangers on the internet to validate your opinion? It sounds like you want us to talk you out of a decision you have already made. From the information you have given, I would expect that most people would agree that it's a bad idea.

I don't often agree with notes that the Moderator adds to blog subjects, but in this he is right.
---StrongAxe on 11/29/16

Does the step-daughter drop off her kids at your house or his?

Your beau might be a fine man, but he doesn't sound like he's ready for marriage at this time.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 11/29/16

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