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Teenage Boys Not Remembering

Why is it so hard to get my three teenage boys to remember to always answer adults with yes sir, no sir and yes maam, no maam? It drives me crazy to keep prompting, correcting, and reminding. An occasional reminder spanking seems to work best at least for a month or so. This is an absolute requirement.

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 ---TravisR on 1/10/20
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You are kidding, at I least hope so! You do not spank teenage boys While I approve of spanking children when needed, teenage boys are not children.

This a matter of rebellion against you. (Not too serious). Just leave it alone, and they will correct themselves. When I was a young teenager I always called my father, "Ol Man", (Not to his face.) My mother said nothing because she knew I knew better. At 17, I stopped when I realized how
dis-respectable this sounded. Your sons already know you feel so just leave them alone for a few years.
---WIVV on 5/6/22

Yes it's hard to break habits you've been taught from birth. It's hard to learn habits you haven't or live in an area where this is not said.

Saying yes Mrs or Mr so and so my grown children still say to those their senior. That's what they were taught from birth.
---kathr4453 on 2/4/20

Same here. I am 68 and still say. So did my children. Parents need to set rules and enforce them.
---Samuelbb7 on 2/2/20

I was brought up to address adults as "ma'am" and "sir."

There was no association with slavery. It was simply considered to be good manners, which can't be legislated.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 1/30/20

So we conclude John Rogers is not an imaginary person one has imaginary conversations with. Let's stay on subject here. No one is talking about rape etc either. YIKES the lengths people go to to avoid apologizing for making false accusations.

If John Rogers says it's a reminder of slavery, the law being voted down, then that's that. I'll take his word for it.
---kathr4453 on 1/30/20

Kathr: John W. Rogers Jr....representing the 52nd district...
Is Nicole REALLY from Alabama?//

I am not in the District 52 that's in Birmingham and Bessemer. I can't vote in District 52

Democrats can't be anti-abortion. That's like saying a Democrats were anti-slavery in the mid 19sth century.

I can't say I am anti-rape, but hang round men who rape women everyday.

//..several southern states wanted to make it a law in school to say yes ma'am yes sir.//

Kathr, I am in FAVOR of kids saying ma'am and sir.

Our argument is about Slaves saying sir or ma'am.


Show me proof that Slaves said ma'am INSTEAD of misses.

Proof that Slaves said sir INSTEAD of master.
---Nicole_Lacey on 1/29/20

I think the real issue here is Nicole in total SHOCK that a Democrat in her state IS NOT RACIST as his own words prove that point. I'll bet if it were up to Jeff Sessions or the likes that law would have passed. Just more PROOF Democrats are NOT RACIST and see the history of racism with the maam and sir thingy. But that critical thinking again may be way over Nicole's head.

One first needs to research WHY this is strictly a SOUTHERN thing where only in the SOUTH there was slavery. Why was it never said in the North? That should be a red flag right there.

And no one was talking about todays trafficking, your slave owning ancestors and child abuse. Slavery was abuse and i'm sure even slave children were abused.
---kathr4453 on 1/29/20

It was several southern states wanted to make it a law in school to say yes ma'am yes sir. Louisiana, Alabama MS for starters. Not just Louisiana but all the southern states voted it down. REP John Rogers is on record as stating his reasons for voting it down, as I posted his quote.

Nicole's nasty snarky comment was out of line. I want an apology for calling me a liar making up conversations.

Nicole is acting like a bar hag again. Totally unacceptable for a supposed Christian.
---kathr4453 on 1/28/20

John W. Rogers Jr. (born December 16, 1940) is an American politician from the state of Alabama. A member of the Democratic Party, Rogers serves in the Alabama House of Representatives, representing the 52nd district.

John Rogers is also anti abortion. He is still in office.
Member of the Alabama House of Representatives
from the 52nd district
Assumed office
Personal details
December 16, 1940 (age 79)
Birmingham, Alabama, U.S.
Political party
Rogers has a bachelor's degree from Tennessee State University, a master's degree from the University of Alabama, and an associate's degree from the University of Alabama at Birmingham.

Is Nicole REALLY from Alabama?
---kathr4453 on 1/28/20

Nicole for the last time, I quoted a representative from the state of Alabama, older than you who disagrees with you.

Please show FACTS that slaves NEVER SAID yes ma'am and yes sir. You can't. Or else shut it down. Rep Rogers says they did, and that is why Louisiana did not put into LAW the yes ma'am yes sir in schools.

You argue with your own ignorance. You simply are not an expert on slaves just because you are part black. Get over yourself...please!
---kat453 on 1/28/20

Kathr: REP ROGERS remembers differently than you.//

Who is Rep Rogers???

Making up statements and arguing with your own made up statements.

//Argue with him.//

An imaginary person? No thanks

//White kids were NEVER given 40 lashes. YIKES!//

Now where did you get so violent? No one should. That's child abuse. Even to non-white kids.

//QUOTE the yes, maam proposal brought back uncomfortable reminders of slavery and Jim Crow days.//



Kathr you were NOT ALIVE during slavery and Jim Crow days.

Besides that you are not black.

I am Black, but even I don't have any memories of those days.

Again, white kids DID SAY ma'am and sir. Slaves did not.
---Nicole_Lacey on 1/28/20

NICOLE REP ROGERS remembers differently than you. Argue with him. You always have to take a stubborn approach ...WHY? White kids were NEVER given 40 lashes. YIKES!

QUOTE the yes, maam proposal brought back uncomfortable reminders of slavery and Jim Crow days.

If you didnt say yes, sir or no, sir, you were going to get 40 lashes, Rogers recalls. Its the wrong message to send to kids at school, especially black kids.
---kat453 on 1/13/20
---kathr4453 on 1/28/20

I SAID white kids SAY ma'am and sir.

Slaves did NOT. They said misses and master.

California is in the West.

'Mr' and Mrs' wasn't mentioned. Plus, TravisR doesn't care if the name is used at all.

A person can ask the kid if he was happy or not?

His kids could not JUST answer 'yes' or 'no'. Ma'am or Sir had to follow the answer

BTW, you can't even use 'Mr or Mrs anymore in the Government. I just call people my their last name. Crazy.

Anywho. I don't like kids calling me by my first period. No matter what title is used.

TravisR and I don't believe we should raise children according to popular opinions.
---Nicole_Lacey on 1/27/20

Southern white kids do say maam and sir. It is taught from birth and once instilled don't forget when they are teens. I t lived in Houston, New Orleans and Atlana. But I was born and raised in the North until my Freshman year in HS...moving to the south and hearing this then for the first time. My parents taught us respect for our elders, always calling them by their name like MR AND MRS so and so. Saying northern children do not show respect because they say MR and MRS instead of maam and sir is ignorant and totally wrong. I know for a fact NORTHERN folks do not like being addressed maam and sir. Maybe too because it's a southern thing that came out of the slavery days. It makes sense as this IS a geographical issue, not a moral issue.
---kathr4453 on 1/27/20

//..their friends tipped them off that it was a slavery thing in the south thingy.//

White kids say Maam and Sir.

Slaves said 'Misses' and 'Master'.

Can everyone PLEASE stop feeling sorry for slavery that happened 2 centuries ago.

I am sure you were NOT ALIVE when it happened.

Plus, it is a good chance your Ancestors didn't own Slaves.

Even though I am 72% Black my great, great, great Grandfather owned Slaves, but I am sure not owning that!

It was his sin and his alone!

Worry about Traffic Slavery happening TODAY!

More people are kept in trafficked slavery TODAY than slavery before 1865.

BTW, trafficking people are mostly coming from across the borders ILLEGALLY.

---Nicole_Lacey on 1/26/20

If my father told me a new rule at the age of 15, it wasn't an option to disobey him because he started late.

And he didn't need my approval for my obedience.

Neither did my parents ask my approval of what we were eating for dinner as well.

Plus, if Adults in California let kids call them by their first name doesn't mean they are respectful when they call me Nicole in Alabama.

We say in response: 'Bless his heart, his Momma didn't teach him any manners.'

That's TravisR's point. He did teach his boys manners.

Children don't instinctively acquire manners.

They have to be taught manners.
---Nicole_Lacey on 1/25/20

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I don't believe they are testing you. If this has not been taught from birth, but something later in life, and not regional, then simply ask the boys what they think and feel about it. I never taught my children the maam and sir thingy, but they ALWAYS showed respect to adults. So it's not disrespectful not saying it. It's actually to many disrespectful saying it, depending on where you live. Maybe their friends tipped them off that it was a slavery thing in the south thingy. Just ask them.

But funny how the owners of these kinds of questions never come back on here to answer our questions.
---kathr4453 on 1/25/20

Spanking for not saying Ma'am? Your children will distance themselves from you as soon as they can. Stop hitting your kids.
---KarenD on 1/22/20

I think they are doing that just to push your buttons.

Find other disciplines methods.

Deny their favorite foods, hobbies, etc.

They are testing you.

You are the father and head of the house.

God put you in charge to bless, encourage and support everyone in your house.

Don't give up the good godly fight.
---Nicole_Lacey on 1/21/20

How old are your teenager sons?

Did they have trouble remembering this when they were younger?

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 1/15/20

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I loved my mother. But I was also afraid of her. If I did wrong. I got either a lecture, a warning or a spanking. Few spankings. Lots of long lectures.

My Children mostly got time out and lectures. But fear of parents wrath is often healthy. It keeps you from doing dumb things.
---Samuelbb7 on 1/15/20

"An occasional reminder spanking "

You spank you kids for not saying "yes, ma'am"

You are not teaching your kids manners, you're teaching your kids to fear you.
---NurseRobert on 1/14/20

Travis, also just an FYI that this began long long ago in the south when slaves had to address their masters in this way. Here's a sampling of what an Alabama Rep who grew up in the south said when the state tried to make it a LAW in public schools. It didn't pass.

And in Rogers Southern state, the yes, maam proposal brought back uncomfortable reminders of slavery and Jim Crow days.

If you didnt say yes, sir or no, sir, you were going to get 40 lashes, Rogers recalls. Its the wrong message to send to kids at school, especially black kids.
---kat453 on 1/13/20

Travis, I never heard this until I moved to the south, my freshman year in HS in Houston. One such person in my French class first day of school didn't address the teacher with a YES MAAM, and was humiliated yelled at and a horrible display of abuse from the teacher in front if the whole class. I was horrified, because if I were the first one she called on the abuse would have been directed towards me. I found out later he too was not from the south, and just didn't know.

If you don't live in an area where you hear this 24/7 may be your problem.

As a Yankee, we always felt the maam and sir thing was actually disrespectful. My Mom would say...DON'T MAAM ME. So actually some folks just don't like it.
---kathr4453 on 1/12/20

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In today's culture deference to and respect for elders has lost significance in many ways. It is still ingrained in some young people here in the South and it makes my day when I see it and hear it (I'm 67).

I was raised to not refer to adults by their first names, it was just a given.

I commend you for trying hard to instill good manners but I fear you are swimming against the tide. Don't give up, though.

One more thing. From a man who is neither a grandfather nor father, perhaps they are a bit too old for the spanking threat. A removal of privileges for a time, extra chores or a good old fashioned "grounding" may get their attention. Just my 2 cents-lol!
---Press_On on 1/11/20

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