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My Marriage Is Failing
  
By "hell" do you mean physical abuse? If so, then you and your children need to seek safety first. Physical abuse or not, there must be some social service type centers that specialize in helping women in your situation. You may need to let go of that unpaid outreach ministry for now and get a paying job. If you're afraid of talking with anyone outside your family call them anyway and let them know you can only talk to them by phone for now. But please get help. Maybe even your church can help.


How Do I Get A Date In Church
  
I'd like to add one thing. After 3 years of celibacy, it would be normal to feel unfulfilled needs pressing on you to find someone. Sometimes our emotional and sexual needs overwhelm us clouding our judgment. I suggest you keep participating in fellowship and see any woman as a sister in Christ. Meanwhile, if you start feeling attracted to her, pray that our Lord, through the Holy Spirit, reveal the truth about the other person for you as a potential mate. I've done this many times and it's always worked.


I Need To Quit Smoking
  
There's so much help out there for alcoholics and drug addicts, including inpatient care and drugs to help to ease off the substance. The smoker gets none of these beside lots of guilt and shame thrown at them. Many started while teenagers to rebel as well as to deal with pain. Two people I know committed suicide shortly after they quit. So the body of Christ needs to stop guilting smoking Christians and treat them with compassion and prayers.


My Wife Is Verbally Abusive
  
(Cont'd)I found what works to stop the abuse: Pray for abuser and yourself. When verbal abuse starts don't engage abuser any further. State your refusal to be in their presence until they stop. If they don't stop, walk out of room. I would email or write notes to my friend but wouldn't talk to him until he stopped. He did stop and now we talk with no reoccurrance of the abuse. This abuser needs counseling but until the roots are uncovered and healed, a behavioral approach is needed to stop the misery. GB


My Wife Is Verbally Abusive
  
I'm a professional counselor, also have a male friend who has been verbally abusive to me this past year. He's "saved" and is a deeply spiritual man otherwise. No one should have be abused for any reason. It doesn't change them. Just gives to both partners. Abuse is often learned from childhood. It's the abuser's mask for a power play. As long as the abuser feels free to abuse, they can get a false sense of empowerment. The rage is real, it's just directed at the wrong source. Continued....


Boyfriend Become Violent
  
Typical of an abuser are his words of sorrow after the abuse. You're stuck in an addictive type situation, known as "idolatry" in Christian terms. You both need to get help separately. A Christian 12 Step codependency group for you would help. Take care of "youself", make Christ the center of your life. Jesus gives you Life, Love & Freedom. Your boyfriend is Spiritual death and could very well lead to your physical death.



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