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How To Reach Daughter-In-Law
I agree with Jack. It is her new baby first, and your new grandbaby second. Respect her wishes. Maybe her mother is there to clean house while your daughter in law bonds.
My mother in law never respected my privacy or need to bond with my baby when he was first born. She thought she was being helpful, but wasn't. She was in the way and constantly interfering with my bonding time with the baby. As a result, I have always resented it.
Let her know you are there to help in whatever capacity SHE needs, not in the way you want to be there as the grandmother. If she doesn't take you up on your offer, be patient and nonjudgemental.
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