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Surviving Adultery Alone
First of all if you are still haunted you really have not forgiven her. When you forgive someone the sin is taking away and not remember.
Colossians 1:14
In whom we have redemption through his blood, [even] the forgiveness of sins: Pray to God ask him to open your heart to your wife that you truely will forgive her.
I also pray that she has repented of her sin.

Adjusting To Husband's Death
I am sorry to hear about your husband death. If you feel it will be better for you to move to town go for it. Surround yourself with good christian friends to help you through the bad times. I believe you can understand God working in you life so relied on him to see you through. May God Bless you in your life.

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